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Past Entries!!
Feb 21, 2002
to Feb 12th, 2002
Feb 11, 2002
to Nov 28th, 2001
Nov 28th, 2001
to Aug. 28th, 2001
July 28th, 2001
to July 6th, 2001
July 2th, 2001
to June 15th, 2001
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| Wednesday, May 29, 2002 |
| ~~You've got to let me in or let me out...~~ |
| Woo... Actually right now I have a ton of things on my mind... Yeah I know, it's almost 5:00, how can I be choerent.. well I over slept yesterday so I didn't goto bed but I'm ok. ^.^ Bah I'm sure someone (lets not name names now ^.~) is gonna give me flack for being up at all hours but honestly I just haven't felt very productive and I just wanna laze around and do nothing, or veg watching anime or something. Thank good this is the last week, I don't think I could make it much longer... bah, gotta finish animation x.x besides, I tend to think better at night, and sometimes work better, like working better under pressure, it works for some people.
So lets see, what's going on in my head tonight? This could end up kinda long @.@ Well, I've been having lunch and hangin' with Mere resently, and I'm glad we're friends again, even if she hasn't changed too much, I can see she's starting to grow up now, and she looks more mature too... It's strange how life changes us before we can notice it. Buut it's sad, she really loves Keith and now things aren't going well. I know she's hurt and upset, who wouldn't be, but she's in denial, with is kinda sad, but I told her I'm there for her, and I think it helps to know, even when you can't always reach out, or don't know you should. I just hope things go ok, I think she was really hopeful about things, after all 3 years is a long time to be together. I think he's just really depressed about not having a job and such and putting it out on her, sometimes guys are like that. *sigh* I wish her luck. Hopefully once she's moved out of her apartment things will get a little better, and hopefully Keith will find a job he's willing to take.
I've discovered this guy Damon Gough a.k.a. Badly Drawn Boy. I love his music, it's a softer sound like Six Pence None The Richer or if you've listened to Oh Yohko by the beatles, it's kinda in that area. The guy made the sound track for About A Boy, which was a really wonderful film ^.^ I loved it, and Hugh Grant and the kid were both very good. Makes me wish Hugh Grant was gonna be in HP movie 2 still, he probably would've been really good ^.^ I got the HP movie DVD today ^.^ I can't wait for Movie 2 and I REALLY can't wait for book 5. Watching the movie made me want to read the series again, so probably in the next few weeks, along with WOT book 8 and I wanna read The Importance of Being Ernest, an Oscar Wilde play that's being made into a movie. Oscar Wilde also wrote An Ideal Husband witch was very witty and well done when made into the film, too. I like Rupert Evert (I think that's the one) and he's in both. Much to do.
Well, after seeing About A Boy with Jenny I told her about Mere's plite(sp?) and she seemed like.. Oh.. that's too bad.. and then told me about how she wanted to have a boyfriend again, someone meaning full. Don't get me wrong, I just told her because it had been on my mind and I wanted to talk to someone about it, but I wasn't exspecting anything much from Jenny, she has her own problems and she never was that close to Mere so there's not much she could say really. Any who, I felt kinda bad, and I guess a little awkward cause in the last month there've been a bunch of guys who wanted to go out with me, but of course it's when you realize you're happy and stuff that it starts happening, like Mere was telling me that non of her male frineds were trying to pick her up or anything (well not exsactly like that but you know ^.~) were as in high school there were a lot of guys who did, and it seems that people in her major just aren't as friendly or something. I've made tons of friends in Animation, but she has really no one from fashion. I told her she should try making friends with peeps in other majors maybe, not that she was discrimenating, but you know. Maybe I should invite her out with some of my school buds, who knows. I wish I could help Jenny find a guy, but honestly I don't know how to help. The people I like to date are people I've met at work or school. No, Not online, and no long distance stuff unless it was solidified before, and even then maybe not >.< Blah, I learnd my lesson on that and don't encourage anyone else to try it anymore. Of course there are exceptions.
I was thinking, I can't wait for school to end but I'm really excited about Japan ^.^ I like Fall semester the best, I've decided. I'm really geared up and excited then, but by the end of spring I'm burnt out and wanna be done, let me play!!! ^.~ But I want to travel while I study and stuff. I really want to see the world and research stuffs. I wanna write my own stories and draw and animate my own comics and I want to exsperience everything!!! I'm excited about Japan, and I think maybe Jr. or Sr. Year I'll do the Semester in L.A. thing in animation, and I wanna do a film internship in london on the 007 stage, the largest soundstage in the world and work on the HP movies, probably movie 4 at that time ^.^;; Hope they make it so I can. I'd like to study in Japan (in my dreams ;.;), and I wanna work at Calabash. I want to be the best in everything I do, I want to make the most of my life and have a powerful and meaning full life. I want to be remebered for doing something powerful, I want to touch peoples heart, I want my work to have meaning. I'd like to wake the whole world from it's dieing sleep, and I want to have a beautiful family and my own studio and I don't want to be just another forgoten face. These are my dreams and they are some of the most important things to me.
The other day, before I saw About A Boy I had lunch with Mere and that's when she told me about thinking of ending her relationship with Keith and when I saw how unhappy she's feeling we all have our times of dispare. We had lunch at Panera, and she invited Nick since he was suposed to call her anyways. It was strange. While we waited for him I became very Anixous. I hadn't seen him for so long and it made me want to cry and run around and so manythings both good and bad all at once. I thought I saw him coming into Super once and when I had thought it was him I felt so... it was like seeing an old dear friend, and I wanted to run and hug him and Say "Hey, it's been so long, how are you," and so on, but then I saw it wasn't him and it was a big let down. I don't know why. He doesn't matter anymore, right? When he Arrived at Panera I was very uneassy at first, I think he was too, we didn't really know what to say to each other, but we spoke of others and how they were making it in the job world and being out of school. in a way I want to hit him and laugh down at him say "Ha, I'm making something of my life now I'm going somewhere and you'll be trapped in the same spotnow when I've moved on to the world." He's still at Oakton, not done with school. at one point I heard from Mere that he was thinking of going to Cali with Andy. That'd be interessting, then maybe he really would change. He's grown up a little, but he's still the same. But I know I'm not, I'll never be who I was, and I'll change more still, so those I love must endure, or perhaps it would be that they never did understand and so they were lost from the begining. There's so much I'm reaching at and can't quite catch, I feel like I'm drownding sometimes and I don't kow where to look. Seeing Nick again made an Impression on me. He Makes me think of Charles in a lot of ways. There are so many things... but there are also so manythings that seperate them. Sometimes I'm afriad Charles won't grow up, but of course he will, and probably has very much. He's easy to read, but difficult too, and I have trouble remembering things at times... too much, things are starting to get jumbled and I can't keep them strait. I'm just another preformer in this play and whether my character will be strong enough to hold a staring role comes down to me, but I can only grow through others, and so I am dependant on the world, even if it isn't dependent on me.
This is like free association or something, but it is releaving. I write this for myself, so if others read it, perhaps they won't understand, but it is not something I'm going to hide away either. If you can feel me from words, then maybe I can do all the things I hope to accomplish, if not, then I have not grown enough. It makes me think of Union Station ^.^ Sometimes I imagine things, like when it's dark and stormy out and you walk between the pillars, over the lights at the station, it's like magic, suddenly you're out of the dark, and things are bright, and you can enter safely into the station.
On the last day of Speech one of the entertaintment speeches was the girl who did this fortune telling thing with a deck of cards and my teacher asked, "will Eva be a Princess?" and the answer was yes. How intreuging really. Ha,I have to laugh. I've always fought in a way to stay the 'prince'. Princesses are weak and always waiting to be saved, and the person who saves them are always their true loves, but I can't just count on someone to save me, and they probably wouldn't be my true love if they did. Well okay Okay so I'm looking at it in moe that just that way. But, maybe it wouldn't be too bad, if it were to happen, I mena Princesses do turn into Queens, and as a Queen you can kick ass. Hahaha, I bet a lot of people won't understand this very well at all. We used to call Nick a Princess because he acted so girly about things and I was his Prince. It seems silly now, but in a way it stuck. I won't ever beheld down again. But, That's why I'm an Angel instead, I'll protect others with all that I can, and there's no reason to worry about me. After all, who's heard of an Angel that couldn't take care of themself, or need to be taken care of. It makes me happy to hold onto others, and in doing that, I can help them, and maybe even touch their hearts. I will do it, somehow.
Charles called me his Angel once as he was leaving, it was nice and it makes me smile when I think about it. I worry about his future a lot at times, and I guess he doesn't like that too much, but I can't help it. It's important to me, even if it isn't to him. I'm a part of his future, at least for now, and so I have to think of it too...
I kinda wanted to title this ~/o Am I That Easy to Ignore... ~/o from a Six Pence None the Richer song, one of my favorites, but I didn't think it would give the right note to everything, but it works for somethings. Listening to them sometimes makes me thing of Nick (him again -.-). Our Song was "Kiss Me" since at the time I really wanted him to kiss me. Hahaha, it was cute at the time... The things one is so easily riminded of. *sigh* One time at lunch with Mere in Chicago Carry out we were talking and it came on. I dout Mere noticed, but it made me feel kinda awkward then too. I could tell you where we were sitting and all when it came on.
Geeze, I must sound pretty messed up now, Haha, Maybe I was more tired than I thought, but I feel good, even though now I'm tired. And even if I don't, I will because I'm a stronger person now ^.^ Forever Growning with the world. Haha, I just thought of more I could ramble about, but I really think it'd be best if I stop. Heh, I'm sure I'll hear about this at some point. Oh well, we must all take what is delt by ourselves. ^.^ Love forever and Peace ^.~ |
| Angel Mercury Thinks too much @ 4:50 a.m. |
| Tuesday, May 14, 2002 |
| ~~~/o Let me be the one to leave you... ~/o~~ |
| WooWoo So I took a whole buncha quizes while just sitting here in computers for stupids.
Take the Persona 2 Personality Quiz
| Dance ManiaX You are Dance ManiaX! As the lost BeMani child, you often are alone, but not lonely. Missing outside contact doesn't affect you much. Although most people wouldn't know it, you actually have quite a bit of energy, but none for freestyling. You just might enjoy gothic poetry. Just maybe. Click Here to take the test! | 
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well, basic ly we're ready to present so I'm jusst passing time untill I can go and catch my train, and go home ^.^ Yay!! I'll get to see the end of Sugar, and more Full Moon and Tokyo MewMew (uber cuteness ^.^). Hopefully Jen-chan's compie is up tonight so I can get those eps of Star Ocean that I'm missing and finally burn it, oh, I need to make you a copy of the Full Moon cd I burned so you can share with your club. Did you ask about the Harry Potter dojinshi?? ^.^ Kekeke, it sounded uber Kawai. Other than that I have an uber amount of work to do for tomarrow. I need to write 4 treatments >.< Hopefully two of them won't be so hard.
I was feeling rather ill earlier. I fell asleep in the animation cage and then when I woke up I was like 'Ugh!! Something didn't agree with me at all!!!' Blah, but I feel better now *puke!!* ^.~ I might end up seeing Starwars Ep II 3 times this weekend. it's not that I'm all hyped to see it or anything, though I think it'll be fun, but I'm gonna be going with all these ddifferent peeps. My speech teacher invited a bunch of us to the midnight showing on wed-thurs, but I'm not sure he'll be able to get tickets, I mean, it's probably sold out, and we might not get such good seats since most likely peeps will be camping out to see it ^.^;; But I'm deffienetly seeing it on thurs with Charles, and I might see it with my school buds on friday too. I just like to hang out with lots of peeps, it's fun. of course on top of all that I need to finish my animation as well as my devel stuff, and next wed we have to present in history of animation. At least I'm almost all done for the semester. Yay!! Japan Here I come!!!!! ^.^ |
| Angel Mercury uses File Maker Pooh @ 7:43 p.m. |
| Tuesday, May 7, 2002 |
| ~~There's nothing artificial, superficial, you get just what you see...~~ |
Look Look, I took another quiz ^.^ Actually I thought I'd be someone else but this works nicely ^.^
Which Fruits Basket Character are you?
Ok, so once againI'm exhuasted and have tons of homework to do. I want vacation!!! ;.; Today I worked on the piccy I'm gonna use for my cell that's due on Friday. I hope it comes out as uber Kawai as I'm thinking it should be ^.~ Also, I was so tired looking today in class that my computer for stupids teacher sent me home early since I've been sick too. ^.^ Wai! How cool of him!!! *Yawn* don't worry I'm going to bed in a few min. But I'll have to wake up early to do my devel homework -.- *sigh!* |
| Angel Mercury wishes there were more of her @ |
| Tuesday, April 23, 2002 |
| ~~Oh... for the sake of momentum...~~ |
| Blah Blah, I haven't bloged for SOOOOO long. I'm so exshuasted too x.x
ACen was awesome, though I worked soo much. I only got maybe 8 hours of sleep the whole weekend, Roderick had me wake up early to get the money to reg at 7:30 both mornings. On sunday I slept 12 hours so when I woke up I was all tired and stuff, and it was luis's birthday too so we went to this cute 50's style place called The Choo Choo that had a train around the bar that delivered the food. On sunday night I took this unclaimed poster from the lost and found but when I went to ask the front desk where a close by olive garden was I ended up droping it there ;.; it was such a kick ass poster too. I really wanted it, and I made such a big deal about it too. If one of them found it they probably laughed their heads off. ^.^;; I should call the hotel and ask them if they have it though.
Olive garden was good, and Jenny and I shared a slice of Black Tie Mouse Cake. Mmmmm. When I got home I... Can't remember what I did.. I must've been way too tired @.@ oy. |
| Angel Mercury eats her face @ 6:33 p.m. |
| Tuesday, April 9, 2002 |
| ~~Up for being exsperamental...~~ |
| WooWoo, I really have lots to say but not much time. I'm about to take my mid term for computers for stupids >.<
OK, Spring break went by WAY too fast, and to make matters worse I got hooked to some more books -.- oy. I didn't get any costumes done and only 2 weeks till ACen ;.; and I didn't color my morph at all!! >.< Plus my cat, Boots, Died, she was really sick ;.; *cries* I like to get another snuggle cat, but They'd never replace my boots. maybe eventually I'll get another kitten, but not now -.- *sigh*
Hmm.. What else. Oh! I had lunch with Miss Meredith today ^.^ she dyed her hair Pink! I was so whaoed ^.^ it was really cool, maybe after ACen I'll color my Hair Orange ^.^ she said Keith called her Lola form "Run Lola Run" If I had orange hair I could be Lilu from 5th element ^.^ kekekeke
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| Angel Mercury takes a test @ 6:28 p.m. |
| Thursday, March 28, 2002 |
| ~~And if I say I'll be home I'll probably be out all night...~~ |
| YoYo, for those that haven't noticed, my titles have been song lyrics. Most are ones I can apply to me (like this one), some I just like ^.^ Bonus points if you can tell me what songs ^.~ Anyhow, the main reason I haven't been updating is cause they took the internet connection in the G4 out. ;.; I think its cause it was being used so much just for internet and not enough for editing. And probably it was getting cluttered up with d/led crap >.< oh well. I've also been majorly busy with my animation. I need to think of some things that'd make a good count down....
Man today I missed the 9:35 by about min which totaly blowed, and when I got home my compie was actting all shitty >.< and what was reallly scary was there was this Mexican guy at union that sat down and was chatting with me. I though whatever, I don't care. But when I got up to get on the train he got up and hugged me and kissed my neck and tried to kiss me. I was just like "WHOA! What the Hell!!" and then he's like "I'd like to go on a date with you. But I was like "sorry, I've a boyfriend" (EWWW!! That was freaky!!) so when I walked away I was all freaked, thank god he wasn't on my train. Why the hell would you try to pic a girl up at the station! And to try and pull a move that fast! I think he's got a bit to learn about bein' in Chicago (not to mention the US). I shoulda slapped him, then I could say I've really slapped a guy hard >.< EEWWWW I'm so freaked out now -.- *sigh*
other than that, things were cool. I was late for school today but other than that I had a fun day. We finaly had History of Animation again today. I'm actually kinda into it now. Specially since I had sleep today. We watched some chuck jones Merrie Mellodies and looney toons, like "what's opera doc?" which is the one where elmer fudd sings ~/o kill da wabbit.. ~/o ^.^ and the daffy one where he gets redrawn. I didn't reallize they were so old. ^.^
quote of the day, said to Zlleh in #mangaproject after he said he'd only answer to Zlleh or Zlleh, the hung one. "yo big dick! put up the new chapter already!" |
| Angel Mercury sings some Dido @ 1:22 a.m. |
| Thursday, March 21, 2002 |
| ~~How Wonderful Life is....~~ |
| Harg! I haven't been able to blog in forever!!! I'm majorly swamped with school, and though Hawaii was lots of fun, It didn't help me stay good with class. At least I'm all caught up, except animation (thank god I'm not the only one behind... or am I now ;.;). But I'm enjoying school, and slowly but surely I'm getting a little better at doing my homework before the night before. I may be able to get things straitened out after all ^.^ Good luck on the new job Jen-Chan!!! Oh and for those of you who were wondering, My mom is doing Much better. The operation seems to have been successful and she is up and about very much now ^.^ Thank you God for giving her more time to be with her family and loved ones!!!
Today I didn't have History of Animation since the teacher was sick (though our papers were still due ^.^;), so instead I stayed and hung out with everyone in the cage. it was lots of fun ^.^ I got to see Unbreakable. It was pretty cool. Also, the other day my friendly TA buddy told me he liked this friend of ours (who's on the ACen staff ) and so I said That's cute, I'll be here for ya, and I'll try to helkp ya out, so today I was chatting with her about dating and boys and stuff. ;.; poor Jason. He's a year younger than her but she said she doesn't like younger guys (wouldn't date them) and I think she really doesn't have a lot of interest in him. Kawaisou desu ne... but it's ok. I'll give him a nice pep talk tomarrow. Who knows, maybe he can convince her that he's worth her time. Although she said she was kinda seeing someone that she really liked but he works at night when she's available. *sigh* Such is life.
Of course when I ponder other people's relationships I always end up pondering mine. Sometimes I wonder how things will turn out. Now don't get me wrong here, I love Charles dearly and never want to hurt him or anything. I'd love to be happy together for a long time, but sometimes I just think about how things are. I wonder what the future has in store for me. Will I have a nice family with beautiful children and a happy husband, or am I going to wake up one day to find out that he has left me because he couldn't handle his midlife crisis? Will I be married 3 times or die an old maid? What about my independance? Will I be able to handle being bound to one person forever or will I get to a point where I'll do anything to sabatoge it? Is he going to let me have my freedom to enjoy life the way I want, or will he try to constrict me? Sometimes I wonder what dating other people would be like, of course then I remeber all the people I've dated and the relationships most of my friends have and know that I'm pretty damn lucky to be in such a wonderful relationship now. I'm very certain that I won't be hurt intentionally, and that anything that does happen will not be nearly as bad as it first appears. I just feel confussed some times, and I guess I kinda wonder if Charles has any concerns or doubts about the future as well. 'I love all relationships except my own.' ^.^;;
Hey Boy! If you're reading this as you sometimes do, Don't be concerned, I love you with all my heart, and don't give me any of that "you never tell me things" stuff cause I'm just writing what's on my mind while I'm writing, and that's all. Of course if you wanna chat about anything you can always try and call me ^.^; though of course I can't garentte you'll reach me Gommen ne!! But I will see you Friday night, though I don't know if we'll be seeing Blade 2 or something else, There is a movie coming out that I would like to catch. Oh and I think your hair being a little long is kinda Sexy ^.^
Love to all!!! |
| Angel Mercury shivers in her cold room @ 1:15a |
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