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| ~~Sunday, January 5, 2003~~ |
| ~~I like to think the best of me....~~ |
~/o... is still hiding up my sleeve ~/o
ok, so origennaly I was going to pick something a little more melencholly but then someone said something to me that I think was just right. *^.^* I think if you know what song this is from, and how this line is sung you'll know what I felt. There was actually something else I had in mind for this entry, but I thought this would fit my current mood better.
So lets see, On todays agenda... Why is it that when you think you've gotten over something or past a momment of time it jumps you at your weakest momment and holds you down. Honestly! ^.^; For a multitude of reasons I've been just a little crazed recently. I think a big factor is me just being stressed, I can't wait for semester break, then maybe I can sort myself out at least a little. I think right now I'm probably PMSing a lil too.. *^.^* keke. But seriously I'm having a little problem with bouts of depression, and gennerally they hit me at rather bad times. It actually kinda embarassing, and makes me feel really childish. For the most part it comes from fear, honestly. I hate to say it, but I feel like such a weak person being so sepsetable to fear. It's always been a problem for me I think. I like to say I'm not afriad of anything, but that isn't really true. Kinda sucks. I want to be able to protect the people around me, the people I love, but right now I'm so fear struck I can't even save myself. Heh, I'm not much of a prince after all. Funny thing is, that with all this it made me think that maybe I can't really do it. I'm the kind of person who needs to be able to be there and support the others. I live to make others happy. If I'm not doing that then I feel like I'm not doing anything, I just end up feeling useless. Somewhere along the line I decided that, in my way, I would save the world, but right now I think I'm doing a really crappy job of it. Haha, it's strange, I'm tring to write all this self pity but it's hard to do when someone makes you feel better about yourself. But right now I'm really not trying to sound like my self pity is what's important, just trying to get somethings out of my head. I've been keeping a sort of little journal recently, I don't wright so much like a diary neccicarly, mostly it's just bad poems or song lyrics and story ideas that I come up with, usually when I'm depressed, it actually kinda helps, when I write in it. No matter what happens though, I won't give up. I hate cowards and I hate running away, so I'll keep pushing back, and I will look forward with hope. I will save world. ^.^ |
| ~~Angel Mercury smiles @ 2:25 a.m.~~ |
| ~~Wednesday, December 4, 2002~~ |
| ~~ArgH strEsS... nO sONg >.<~~ |
what fucked version of hello kittie are you?
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What kind of porno would you star in?
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Well... ^.^ how entertaining ^.^ Just blowing off a little steam before a very long night of animation work. Man at this point I'm so incredibly stressed out and my head hurts and my eyes are starting to force me to squint. I hate this time of the semester. I want it to end. Thank god XMas is coming soon. At last a little time to relaxe, before I have to suffer again. Argh, it's not that I don't like animating, I'm just so bogged down by work and I don't really have a lot of time. Wai! I suck at this. ;.; and on top of other recent occurences I'm really kinda a wreck. Barg I must perservier (if I could spell I would).
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| ~~Angel Mercury continues to stress out @ 12:18~~ |
| ~~Saturday, November 30, 2002~~ |
| ~~If Your Lips Feel Hungry and Thirsty...~~ |
What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Kiss On The Lips - You're sweet and simple but quite daring. You move for the kill confidently knowing the other person wants the same thing.
Keke, the First one I got from checking out Stu's Journal pagie, how fun!!! he seems to be having a good time, I miss hanging with him though. The second if from Miss Jenny's Journal. ^.^ hehe, how sweet to be a kiss. Sweet and gentle but with a lasting impression ^.~
So, lately I've been swamped with Animation Homework and hanging with Rocky, and working on stuff for production I. I fear I may not catch up to my camera and sound work intime before break, but I was kinda counting on the break to work on my largest section and hope to shoot right away. On Tuesday I lost my UPass ;.; Now I have to pay for the CTA, and I'll need to buy a 10 pass for the metra, but I'll be down Town a lot this week. Anna Marie needs me to act in her film since she couldn't find anyone else. I still need someone for my film Wai!
This weekend I went to Rocky's home up north and helped put up their XMas stuffs. It may sound funny but I thought it was really fun, and strangely comfortable. I haven't done that for such a long time. Mom says we can't put ours up this year since things are such a mess, but next year probably. Alissa always decorates though. I think by next XMas everyone will be in their own homes and it will just be me and mom really, and maybe Jen too (I don't mind that, Jenn's really cool). Next spring (not this one but the one after) I plan to go do the Semester in L.A. Program with a few friends. I know it's kinda early but I'm really looking forward to it. I love being home and in Chicago but I'd like to get away and see something new too, and being on my own with friends would be great, plus I'll be 21 then ^.~
Tomarrow I have the JLPT! I think I'm gonna fail but I'm not worried. I really haven't had time to really study because I have so much school work. I hope dad understands, I don't like dissapointing him, plus I need to talk to him about money and I don't want him to use it as an escuse. Blarg. I need to goto the financial aid office. this week for sure!!, we register for classes this week. I should make my schedual out too. Hargh!!! >.< Wai! |
| ~~Angel Mercury Kisses the snow @ 11:50 p.m.~~ |
| ~~Monday, November 11, 2002~~ |
| ~~I wanna F*ck You Like an Animal!~~ |
| So this weekend I was in a major domo mood for some sexorz but alas, due to some bad timings and such I was left unable to fufill the naughty desierings. *sighsigh* Keke ^.^ I guess that just leaves me to my own devices then, ne? ^.~ *WHACK!* We now continue the regularly schedualled blogging.
This week I shot our Group film for Production one. Boy did that suck @$$!! I think I was doing most of the work, and defiently the one keeping things going. We did about 13hours of strait shooting with a 3 hour break in the middle, which means no sleep for me. ;.; Wai how sad I didn't get to make truffles. I crashed at Rockys durning the week. It's a lot easier than coming home all the time. next friday we're going to a sixpence none the richer concert, and I'm hopign to see Harry Potter II on thursday night. If I don't then, then I guess maybe saturday or something. I will see it though!!! I donno, we'll figure things out. We're also planning on seeing the Lion King broadway show in april. Gotta buy the tickets soon though. ^.^;;
Ok, so tonight I think I came home to one of the most depressing things I've seen in a while. My Aunt is finally starting to really go and it's sad. She can't do much herself and it smells like old people in my living room. When I see her I wanna cry. She's lost so much weight and she's constantly in pain. I can't really take being around this kind of thing, it really sucks. I don't want to be old, not like that. I think I'd shoot myself before I'd let myself fall apart that much. Don't get me wrong, I'm not blaming her in the least. I know she certainly didn't chose canser or to become frail, It's just something I know I couldn't handle, and can't really stand seeing. I wish mercy would come down and give a little to her. I don't know how much I can stand to atch. I wonder how she feels about it. I know before she felt terrivle for being so unable, she felt useless and such, and I think that's the worst too. That's probably why I can't stand it the most. |
| ~~Angel Mercury fights tentical monsters @ 12:40~~ |
| ~~Friday, November 1, 2002~~ |
| ~~Catch the Snow on Your Tongue...~~ |
| ...and Show me How it Tastes
keke, I love this line. I'm sure I've used this song before, and if you know me you can probably figure it out. I just love how sexxy it is, while still being romantic... it's so smooth, I must remember it for the winter months to come ^.~
Well, our group project is well into preproduction, though I feel like I'm the only who really cares and everyone else is like, I'm just doing this for class. Grr >.< This one kid who wants to Direct keeps ditching out on our meetings, I think he still thinks he'll be directing too, even though I'm acting more like a producer. -.- *sigh* I'm pretty excited about camera and sound, can't wait to start animating, though it'll be hard work. need to work on story boards for that and start some character designs. Animation II is cool. I think I'm gonna use red riding hood for this weeks assignment (we're to take a story and adapt it with our own twist). I'm inspried by this piccy I saw in one of Rocky's books that had red basicly eating the wolf. Uber Gorry, Uber cool ^.^ I need to make story boards for WIA too ^.^;; should start on that stuff before it's too late and I'm swamped with other stuff. I wanna get in a little early tomarrow before Soccer and Anime Club so I can start editing my grant park/one min. film.
I hope everyone had a good Halloween. I wore a Kimono, very pretty ^.^ keke, and had fun with many friends. This week I hung out with Rocky and his Roommates Nate and Tom, and Rocky cooked this chicken garlic stirfry with rice noddles that was really awesome!! Nate wants to be a cheif so he added a lil' touch and made it have a nice presentation. Tom wants to make video games (mostly just be management), and Rocky, if you didn't know is in animation, though he says he'd like to do mostly storyboarding. It was cool, I helpped wash dishes, both before and after we ate, and I set the table. I also got them to get rid of most of the trash (boxes) that was sitting in their kitchen. I told them next time we do something like that I'll make dessert. Most likely truffles ^.^ Yay! I'm looking foreward to more yummy foods. Maybe I can get peeps todo a potluck thingy again this year. ^.^ maybe....
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| ~~Angel Mercury dreams of her loved ones @ 1:40~~ |
| ~~Monday, October 28, 2002~~ |
| ~~There's no one here, No one in the crowd~~ |
I'm going back to song lyrics for my headers. Bounus points for this one!! Well, Let just say life for me has been moving very quickly in a different direction. It's a little shocking since everything's moving so fast and I seem to have no time to soak it in. I'm no longer with Charles, I've found many more friends at school, and am in the city almost everyday of the week as well as studing for the JLPT. Woo, so much to do, no time at all.
I've started to goto parties in the city on weekends. I really wish I had an apartment there, it'd be so much easier. for the most part I just crash at a friends, or Meredith drives. I don't really like driving into the city whn I know there's no parking >.< kinda a hassel. Last weekend was cool. I got really drunk (but not sick) and Eric, my boss hit on me a lot so he was all nervous at school the week after. I figured hey, we were drunk and all he did was flirt while I sat there rambling about my love for the world ^.^;; keke, I'm kinda a goofy drunk.
Yesterday... er saturday was our halloween party. It was fun, the drum guys were awesome once again ^.^ Charles showed up. I'm cool with that, though I didn't really know what to say. Usually people don't see each other for a little while till after they've cooled down. He looked really sad, which I'm sorry for, but it's my hope he gets over it smoothly and realizes that I'm not the only person in the world. I don't think there is just one person in the world for you, I think I used to, but now I know that there are many people that you could live with happily. Some maybe more than others, but as long as is working for both of you then you've got something going. Anywho, The one thing I don't think I apritiated was that as he was leaving he spoke to Jenny. That in itself I don't care about, but I think some of the things he asked or said may have made her feel uncomfortable and that isn't really cool. Quite frankly, he should just take sometime to move on and then he can come talk to me about things if he wants. I know this may sound a little harsh but.... After the party I talked to Dan and Jazmin about what was going on and they were cool about it, apearently Dan went through the same thing. He had be with this girl almost 2 years, and they were living together and he just ended it since it wasn't working for him and then he fell for Jazmin (they are the cutest together). It makes me feel a little better, it's important for us both to be happy, not just one of us.
So after that I went down town with a bunch of friends (including little Jason ^.^) to goto another party. I wanted to get drunk wth Jason since he's almost 22 but never goes out drinking at all. I think it'd be fun for us to party together and I told him when I'm 21 he and I are going to hit the bars together ^.^ He's so cute, he's like, I don't really know, I don't like the taste really and I've never been drunk. Keke, we everyone says that in the begining. Well, when we finally got to the party all the alcohal had been drunken so we stay a lil' then left and crashed at Rocky's place ^.^ over all it was a fun adventure, I like being with so many people at once even when it's not a party.
Wednesday is the halloween party at school. I'll wear my kimono again, since it worked out ok, though someone did spill a lil' beer on it :/ but it can be cleaned, not a prob, and it had a spot or two to begin with so I'm not worried.
Well back to work. Don't worry, I haven't been up all night, I passed out about 7:00ish and woke up a lil' after 3:00 so I could work on some stuff. Just gotta get to work now ^.^;; I Will finish!! ^.~ LABULABU |
| ~~Angel Mercury works hard @ 3:46 a.m.~~ |
| ~~Sunday, September 22, 2002~~ |
| ~~Let the TAing begin!!~~ |
| Woo, it's been a major domo long time since I bloggied ;.; Gomen ne! Stu!!! (hmm.. I wonder if my host family ever tried to check this... teehee sorry!)
Alrighty, so I'm blogging real fast before I head to bed. Tomarrow is my first day of class, but before that I'm going to TA for a history of Animation class (I'm going to be a projectionist... hope I don't break anything!!). Keke, I'm really excited I'm starting school. I'm ready for more film classes!! I'm sending my request for my transcripts to DuPage tomarrow too, I hope they take them, if they do, I'll be almost half way through school!! Yet... not at the same time since I have about five dozen classes I want/need to take! *sigh* oh well, I'm getting there.
This all means I now have three jobs!! Nickel City, Mitsuwa, and Being a 'Work Aid' at school. so far Mitsuwa pays the most, but is not really... well ^.^ Nickel City is second, but I'm getting tired of it, And school is thrid but I am Garuenteed 12 hours a week, though the same is for Mitsuwa, right now I only work one day a week there. If I ever get fired, or tired of NC then I'll do more, but Kuma runs a hard ship (then goes off to lunch). Charles has been working tons lately tring to get his store into shape. I think he may be over doing it, I hope he doesn't burn himself out. I think right now he should probably focus on getting staff, but I know that can be hard to do. *sigh* best of luck to him!! Well, running to bed now, Night Night!! |
| ~~Angel Mercury passes out @ 11:58 p.m.~~ |
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| Previous Hearts |
Sept 22th, 2002 ~ May 29th, 2002
May 29th, 2002 ~ Mar 12th, 2002
Feb 21th, 2002 ~ Feb 12th, 2002
Feb 11th, 2002 ~ Nov 28th, 2001
Nov 28th, 2001 ~ Aug. 28th, 2001
July 28th, 2001 ~ July 6th, 2001
July 2th, 2001 ~ June 15th, 2001
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