Saturday, December 21, 2002 08:38 a.m.

too early to be up. yes.

But last night my mom went by Suncoast and got the very nice four disc set to the first Lord of the Rings movie. Technically it's my dad's gift to her, but really, who wants to wait until Christmas? Besides, those two have a date to go see The Two Towers sometime this weekend. Their memories need to be refreshed. I watched it, and my parents began to watch as well, but my dad left since he needed sleep, and my mom felt asleep in her chair. I can't really blame them; I started the movie around nine. Still, it makes me a little sad, but that's all right. I've been getting into my book Good Omens; I read until two this morning after the movie ended. Who needs sleep? (Especially if you go to bed at two and still wake up at 7:45 for no good reason.)

Some plans changed around and I'm most likely not going to be moving out of the house any time soon. Of course, I don't believe I informed this journal of that in the first place... In any case, other plans were made and that's that, pretty much.

I finally finished the Fureai transliterations *-* Plus! I found this really good Japanese text editor that lets me save files as .jis, and thus, I can put up the kanji lyrics on my site as well! *grins like an idiot* This is so great. Of course, it'll be better once I have access to a scanner! Because, you know, I need to scan the pictures from the CD booklet and then really get started on the site. I'd feel a bit guilty if I just used already posted pictures (though I might have them anyway). I'm working on putting their biography from the Pony Canyon site onto a .jis file and... sort of translating it... I think I can manage it. Though I had a real good time at figuring some things out there, it wasn't too bad, I suppose. But soon! Soon the whole English-speaking world will know of Fureai!

Or at least the ones that go to my site. Which might be two people... who already know about Fureai. But having that one section of my site devoted to promoting the incredibly cool band Fureai is my goal for now. It's something to work for, and I may be able to pull it off.

Sunday, December 15, 2002 06:33 p.m.

superconscious? hyperconscious?

I became aware yesterday (or perhaps very early this morning; the specific time is unknown to me again) that this place must be easy enough to find. Certainly, it's possible to find just about anything on the Internet, but I'd never thought that someone might actually wander across this page (except for the regulars). Case in point: I received an email from someone at the News & Observer saying she'd stumbled across my webpage in her search for local bloggers; she's doing an article on on them, and was interested to know if I'd talk with her about the subject. I told some friends about this and am going to call her up tomorrow.

But my interest too was piqued. I searched for other local bloggers and found a few, but the strange flow of links led me to one curious place: Joi Ito's Web. Looking through the site was particularly fascinating, given that he knows or has met such people as Cornelius, Ryu Murakami, Steve Wozniak, and Neal Stephenson. I kept telling John all these things, and he kept asking me, "...But who is he?" I could only reply, "I don't know."

Of course, now I know, and it's still all very fascinating, if not more so. But wandering around the various places kept making me feel so incredibly small; I'm just one person in the grand scheme of things, and just as small on the Internet. Strange, scary sorts of feelings creep up on me whenever I look at something new, for after all, isn't the familiar very comforting? I've been guilty before of being prudish and skittish about new things, but no matter what, I'm still dazzled by the shiny new facets of our world.

So I suppose it feels like I'm continously taking on the world single-handedly... Perhaps I am. I bet we all are.

Wednesday, December 4, 2002 12:22 a.m.

i am not in a crazy relationship.

If I have a problem with John, I try to talk it out with him. If he has a problem with me, he tries to do the same. We don't argue much. We communicate. We try not to let our emotions get away with us.

Because with all the crap in my life, I don't want to turn to my greatest source of solace and find that I can't talk with him because we're going to bicker and get angry. I don't need that shit, and he doesn't either. We're here to support each other, not fight, and we strive to MAINTAIN this mutual agreement.

I guess I don't understand some people sometimes.

Thursday, November 28, 2002 01:19 a.m.

falling, yes i am falling

The Beatles may be good, but I think I need some drastically new music. What, I don't know. But I'm getting bored with a lot of things, so I guess music is affected by my weird moods too. Due to some things people said Tuesday, I went into a heavy bout of anger in which I began screaming mad, hateful words while washing dishes (no one was home but me), followed by a heavier bout of sobbing. The night before, I was extremely hyper. Last weekend I was depressed and irritable, and took out some frustration on John. He didn't deserve any of that >.< He came over on Friday to cheer me up, and I pretty much threw it back in his face on Sunday... Ugh. Thankfully we talked it over and things are fine, but who's to say something like this won't happen again? Like this whole period of strange, mercurial feelings? I talked to Amy recently and she said she can take me over to Chapel Hill for some free but still good therapy. And I need it. Everything is building up, and I don't want it to explode in my face.

Sunday, November 17, 2002 07:51 p.m.

a slice of fleming pie

They're a good band, despite hardly anyone outside of Japan having heard of them. That's just the way things go, I guess.

Yesterday I saw Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets with John. It was really good, despite being insanely long! Though John, being sick, kept coughing through it ;_; I hope he gets better soon. The day before that, Dan, Sara, Billy, John, and I got together to play Mage. It went all right.

It's been raining the past few days, creating an icky sort of atmosphere. But today I stayed in and played more Legend of Mana. Almost finished with it too ^^

VIVA LA CARROT!

Sunday, November 10, 2002 10:20 p.m.

maybe there's no point in using me.

I said in an earlier entry that I'd been doing a little work for the Noble Vitae website, but I don't think it's going so well. It's kinda pointless to ask for work when you're given nothing to really work with. When I do get work, it's for me to make petty changes to pages, nitpick jobs for those who can't be bothered with the meticulous. But what do I have to complain about? It's their website, Dan and Sara's, so really, since it's not mine, I shouldn't try to horn in on getting things done. I'd like to be useful to them (probably more than they know), but I'm starting to believe I should stop trying.

All in all, I'll simply concentrate my efforts on a new layout for fizz, and not bother with NV.com until I'm asked to do something for it.

Friday, November 8, 2002 04:41 p.m.

slrrrrrr

I have little to no motivation. What the hell's wrong with me?