Saturday, October 5, 2002 12:38 p.m.

well actually...

I think it might have been Leone that says Violinist of Hameln is the devil. Nokoru-chan says something else is the devil...

Waiting around right now for John to get his room cleaned up and such and then get me so we can see if I can get Brian Jacques's autograph *-* I hope I get it ^__^

Right now, however, I'm hungry x.x It's lunchtime, and I want to eat, but since John said we would go out for lunch, I'm going to hold off.

...I feel extremely tired though. Maybe it's from lack of food. Well, I'll live.

Saturday, October 5, 2002 02:24 a.m.

brain dead

The only reason I'm still awake is because I want to tell John of the book signing that Brian Jacques is giving later today and tomorrow. It's weird: I don't stay up yesterday and he's online until six AM, but I stay up now and he's not online. But he was probably really tired after a long day of... Battletech. Besides, he got up around ten something ~_~x So of course he's tired. He wants sleep. John, you sleep.

I have End of Evangelion now, but I have yet to watch it. Like I said, I've been waiting, and anyway, it'd be cooler to watch it with John.

I can understand why Nokoru-chan once called Violinist of Hameln the devil. I've got my own devil now too.

I hope the bug flying around the monitor dies soon. DIE BUG, DIE. I hope it doesn't poop little bug shit on my desk either.

I should go to bed now. The day ahead of me is not entirely certain...

Thursday, October 3, 2002 04:15 p.m.

soulseek: the wave of the future

So Soulseek's back up and I'm so incredibly happy because... it truly is the wave of the future.

Anyway, we (John, Sara, Dan, Billy, and I) went out to Adventure Landing after Chobits played at anime club, and played DDR. I actually did pretty well ^_^ Though when I went up against Dan, I picked a song we both failed at ~_~x But oh well.

John and I are going to marry Sakaki-san. Yes we are.

Okay, that's it. Shoo.

Monday, September 30, 2002 09:15 p.m.

awa8

So I'm back from AWA8. Incidentally, it took eight hours one way to get from Raleigh to Atlanta (with a stop off at Annie's house in Greenville). It was pretty fun; I met Denise Jones, who runs the very cool web manga Eversummer Eve. I bought a print from her, and also a Sakaki-san plushie, an Akira plushie, and volumes 5 and 7 of Trigun Maximum. And two bottles of Ramune, which... I don't find all that great. It was good, but since I wasn't feeling so swell when I drank it, that was probably it. A little too fizzy for me.

Make a comment on the connection between Ramune and my website and I kill you.

John and I didn't get to go to the ball, though we did get dressed up for it. We had to wait in an impossibly long line, and finally we got fed up with it so we went downstairs and walked around a while before heading back up to the room. Billy and Annie later informed us that about five minutes after we left, they got it ~_~; Eesh. Annie also didn't get to karaoke, but immediately afterward she DID get her picture taken with a very cute Akio cosplayer. Who lovingly caressed her foot... XD

All in all it was a good time. We got off to a rough start (leaving in the dead of night, driving through rain, everyone being extremely tired, John's car's antenna getting snapped off, etc.), but things got better as time progressed.

That's it. Until next time...

Monday, September 23, 2002 10:56 p.m.

i feel stupid

And for that matter, depressed. I'm not totally sure why either. Well I could probably hazard a guess, but what the hell, why don't I just say that I'm frickin' mopey then get over it? I talked to my ex-girlfriend Rain earlier and it was all right, except I think she got a little pissed off over something or other and I decided I didn't want to waste my time typing just so she could get annoyed and bitch at me. Annie spent her time reading my Sailor Moon manga, and I semi-talked to John, Dan, and Sara.

I haven't had a real talk in a while. Well maybe I'm just being selfish about it, and again, I'll tell myself to get over it and not be a bother to anyone else.

But I'm already a bother anyway, argh. Don't drive, don't work, barely function academically, social life skyrocketing for some unknown reason other than people somehow like hanging around me, and I'm a walking piece of dreary wallpaper (at least right now). I keep forgetting to ask myself, "How do you really feel about this?" Usually I'm too preoccupied with friends to notice that I still feel like shit.

Since feelings like that are all in one's mind, perhaps I should just ignore it and concentrate on the things that make me happy. But I don't like shoving issues aside and tell myself it doesn't matter, no matter how fucking often I do just that. The voice of one of my friends echoes in my mind with sayings of "It doesn't matter" and "Just get over it." Incidentally, that friend and I, though we don't converse much, are actually fairly similar, so I'm probably just substituting that voice for my own so I can pin some blame on someone other than myself. And that's not fair to my friend, or even the image of my friend. But really, I'm not always this retarded...