Saturday, October 30, 2004

02:47 p.m.

Mental note:

The period between late morning and early afternoon on Saturdays is conducive for studying and getting some work done.

one assignment down. g'job, najjy. \m/

dad called me at 10:10am this morning and asked if i wanted him to fetch me at 11am. Without realizing i can actually sleep in the car, i groggily said no and that i'd go home on my own in the afternoon (i was sleeping, dammit).

what was i thinking, rejecting his offer? now, i'm feeling a tad lazy to embark on the long journey home in the stupid train.

On a brighter note, i caught Aladdin last night. almost went crazy when i discovered Rachel's collection of classic Disney movies. i couldn't choose between Aladdin and The Little Mermaid (the very first, classic, version.. my favourite!) but i finally decided on sexy Aladdin. I'm also on a lookout for Anastasia. If you haven't already caught Anastasion, please do so. soundtrack's good too. and you have no idea how sexy Dimitri was in the movie, omg. I'm assuming here that everyone's already caught The Little Mermaid and the other Disney classics.

I'm suddenly reminded of something i've heard before regarding Disney and propaganda but i can't exactly remember what it was. somethin' along the lines of brainwashing. must've heard it from some documentary or some lecturer. damn, i hate it when i can't recall things.

gettin old naj. gettin old.

*weep*

and msn is currently down. i feel so cut off from the rest of the world. this is what we usually call pathetic.

bleargh.

"I could not ask for more."
- Edwin McCain

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

12:57 p.m.

Evolute.

i woke up at 1230pm, only to realise i've missed my 12pm cognitive lecture. well, technically, i can get rush and make it for the 2nd half but nah, i'll just give the whole thang a miss.

the cognitive essay's done though. thanks to that damn essay, i've been sleeping at 5 am two nights in a row. i can only hope it ain't as screwed up as i think it is.

yesterday was Monday. we had some computing tutorial and some group had to do a presentation for their project. the topic of their focus was something along the lines of "evolution of handphones".

just an ordinary group presentation, you may think.

this is where you're so wrong. one of the presenters (Mr Know-it-all) was bugging the hell out of me because he kept using the word "evolute" as a verb to the word "evolution".

"Handphones evolute.... and therefore, they evolute.."

i had this strong urge to either throw somethin' at him or sscream out "evolve!!".

but no, of course i didn't. it'd be extremely embarrassing for the poor chubby, adorable Mr Know-it-all.

don't get me wrong, it's not like i dislike him so bad. he seems like a nice chap, really. it is just that damn word he kept using that irritated me. xuewei said i should've dont it though, for his own good in the future. perhaps, i'd tell him personally next week.

perhaps, i will.

G'day, all.

Some people just make you smile...

Sunday, October 24, 2004

04:18 a.m.

Liverpool vs Charlton

That has got to be one of that best matches Liverpool's played so far.

Enough said.

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

11:24 a.m.

Silent Prayer

this fear.
it keeps haunting me.
i don't wanna lose any of them,
i love 'em all too much.

i live each day with a silent prayer.
so you'd protect them with all your might.

I don't know how they do it.
I don't know if i can ever be that strong.

god, i'm scared.

Thursday, October 7, 2004

01:05 p.m.

Nothingness.

currently listening to Angels or Devils by Dishwalla.

for some reason, i'm in a mood for dishwalla and something corporate. the keyboard in "konstantine" is almost hypnotising.

hmm.

i've never been this dazed. haven't been training, haven't been running, haven't been smiling (as much). and for the record, i don't smile all the time. but that really doesn't mean i'm upset.

They've been asking me if i'm okay.

Of course I am.

They've been telling me I look tired..

..even when i'm not.

jeez.

nownow, i shall stop procrastinating and start spending this beautiful (uh huh), warm thursday afternoon doing my assignment.

mental note: 25%.

Friday, October 1, 2004

09:34 a.m.

This keeps me smiling.

Red and Yellow and Pink and Green,
Purple and Orange and Blue,
I can sing a rainbow,
Sing a rainbow,
Sing a rainbow too.

Listen to your heart,
Listen to your heart,
And sing everything you feel,
I can sing a rainbow,
Sing a rainbow,
Sing a rainbow too.

Monday, September 27, 2004

04:55 p.m.

tsk. talk about frivolous.

If you're up on the road,
Feeling lonely, and so cold
all you gotta do is call my name
and i'll be there on the next train..

Where you lead, i follow....

Behold!

'cause I am in possession of the oh-so-precious Gilmore episode 1 of season 5!! it took me 3-4 freakin days to finish downloading one long-awaited episode. oh how i miss watching Gilmore Girls.

and now i have it.

mine. all mine.

all i have to do is click on the 'play' button. *rubs palms together*

I shan't start rambling about why Gilmore Girls is so entertaining because I know I've done it before. besides, being the long-winded person i am, once i start, i can hardly stop.

and now, the moment we have all (oh fine. just me) been waiting for..

Saturday, September 25, 2004

01:13 p.m.

*wept*

noo. nooooo. don't tell me!

he's not gay.

he is?

ohcrap.

---------

went for Dance Ensemble performance last night at UCC. it wasn't as good as i expected. Jeffrey was a total eye candy (although he only appeared in the end for credits). he's one dashing guy.

oh, and gay too.

sigh.

whyyyyy. whyyyyyyyyyyy?

Friday, September 24, 2004

05:17 p.m.

Rock my world.

For some reason, i'm in a super punk mood right now. sum41's blasting on my speakers. oh this feels good. and did i mention Incubus rawks? i don't usually disobey the rules of spelling ('cept for acceptable ones) but this seemingly out of character behaviour just goes to show how much they rawk. \m/

if you haven't already noticed, my entries have been rather short. but that's better than nothing, yuh? now i'm truly "blogging when i feel like it". not that i haven't been doing such in the past but perhaps, i've been ranting more than anything. like, once you start rambling you can't stop.. you know? and right now, i feel it coming.

not to worry, naj has learnt the art of controlling. *wise, contented smile*

may peace be with you. \/

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

02:50 a.m.

Guys..

it's amazing how they can disturb and suan you like hell one moment and be real sweet the next moment. it just makes me smile, really.

ohwell.

Sunday, September 19, 2004

02:13 a.m.

Your Brain Usage Profile:

Auditory : 50%
Visual : 50%
Left : 40%
Right : 60%

Najiah, you are moderately right-hemisphere dominant and have even preferences between auditory and visual processing, traits that might make people perceive you as "slightly off balance."

You are most likely to be slightly disorganized, a "dreamer" and a person who focuses more on the end result than the immediate task at hand. You are creative and spontaneous if somewhat lacking in direction and focus. You are a learner who is generally patient and a person for whom time is an ally, not an enemy.

You are more passionate than most people with regard to life and learning and recognize your own intuitive abilities. You have sufficient goal-direction to satisfy yourself and guarantee success without being or feeling driven. You are willing to be reflective about yourself and others without getting lost in rumination.

The balance of your sensory modes allows for both learning and expressive capabilities achieved by few. You are active and "seeing" while retaining an equally strong propensity for being reflective which slows you down a little but allows for a more comprehensive perception and analysis of situations and problems. You do not spend excessive time analyzing since you mostly trust your perceptions.

In all likelihood, you have a tendency to overcommit and cannot under- stand why others get upset since you operate on a different "time table" than they do. Your organizational abilities are frequently overwhelmed by the stimulation seeking and active nature of your mind as well as by the tendency to create new categories and gloss over details, making categorization and classification almost impossible at times.

To the extent that your career path allows for creativity and abstraction as well as a bit of disorganization, you should find yourself equipped to handle any learning that is required. Your own personal adjustment to your style should come naturally although you are likely to feel frus- trated by your own limited discipline and often wonder "Why?"

O-Kay. This is scary because whatever they say about me is pretty much accurate. ohwell.

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

09:44 a.m.

Knock On The Sky

i was on my way home from traininglast night, all drained and exhausted. As i walked towards Eusoff Hall, I saw this guy with some other girl just loitering around the area. I was looking at him, without really focusing (some call it spacing out). That guy happened to look my way and he went, "eh! najiah!"

that snapped me back to attention.

and i said "oh hey! AGAIN, i couldn't recognise you!", to which he gave me this bewildered look, plastered with a fake smile (and a soft "heh"), prolly trying to go along with what i was saying. did i mention he looked a little intimidated too?

I finally said "see you" and we walked away in different directions. That was when I realised i had made a mistake. See, there was this other guy in school, who used to take the same module as me two semesters back. after that semester ended, i was never able to recognise him whenever i see him around, until he does his usual "oei. it's me!"

apparently, the former wasn't the latter. The guy I saw last night was a primary school friend. sigh. william oo (i've always liked your name, btw), if you do happen to chance upon this entry (i'm hoping you won't and i DON'T think you will), apologies for my blunder.

okay, that's all. bye!

Monday, September 13, 2004

02:42 a.m.

downs and frowns.

i wish i could make the monday blues go away.

Saturday, September 11, 2004

11:15 p.m.

Durians bond.

I had supper at Geylang last night. both food and company were good. Since it was officially meant to be an international students' supper night for the int'l students in hall, the welfare comm chartered a bus to and fro. Apparently, there were quite a number of non-int'll students who came along (that's us. ahah). i mean, you wouldn't wanna miss supper at Geylang, would you?

The journey back to hall from Geylang to Clementi couldn't be any longer last night's because i was suffering from pure, intense agony.. agony from holding my pee (can't think of a better way to say this). i was squirming throughout the entire journey, mentally cursing the bumpines of the bus ride and the length of the expressways. I do not want to experience that same torture ever again.

Anyway, Justin and Szelyn bought a few boxes of durians for us to share and so, it was a durian session at B4. well, the fun has yet to begin. After having our fill, we were still left with a few more boxes containing huge durians and i mean, HUGE.

We couldnt possibly throw them away, they were really yummy. yet neither of us were willing to take in more. So who's gonna eat them durians? Eventually, a few of them ended up playing some silly games, in which, the loser has to consume them. You'll be surprised but having excessive durians in the wee hours of the morning can really make you high.

Justin was already obviously a little 'off', as observed from the slight change in his laughter (apparently he ate the most durians) but the hilarity of the night was Phong, who was.. well, totally hilarious. And the rest of us? We simply couldn't stop laughing over nothing.

Quote of that night: "IMPOSSIBLE is NOTHING!... adidas." - Phongster

i swear i haven't heard anything funnier than that. it was just the way he said it and needless to say, the solemn "adidas" at the end was the trigger point of our breaking into body-bending, endless, painful laughter. That was followed by incoherent crappy conversations, with intervals filled with more laughter.

and that kinda sums up my friday night.

It's saturday night right now and i have my part of a computing project to complete by sunday morning. it isn't that difficult really because we're allowed to get our info (on bluetooth technology) from the net. The pain, however, comes from having to paraphrase all the sentences (plagiarism is illegal. huh.) and trying to figure out what they're saying in the articles.

and for god's sake, why do the writers bother using analogies while writing about some computing shit? at the risk of sounding like a bimbo, i really couldn't understand some of the analogies used in the articles. Some things are just better expressed in layman terms. tsk.

okay looks like ive typed a longer entry than i meant to. i had better finish up my work, so wish me luck. till next time, all.

Thursday, September 9, 2004

04:20 p.m.

The one with Brandon and Rachel

I always leave my developmental psychology tutorial feeling all contented and enlightened. i can't get enough of saying this: i love the tutorial! I think i've mentioned this before but i can't help feeling smarter after every dev psych tutorial :P

well, that is just what i feel. what i really am is another story altogether, yeah? but that's besides the point cos i know i'm smart. someone insisted i'm smart last night, so i am i am.

that's something about afternoons that makes me a lil crappier then usual. nothing right comes out of my head at this time of the day, the time where you'd just sit by and watch time pass. either that, or you take a nap.

anyways, reason for the entry title is the video we watched during the tutorial just now. it was very fascinating. i think the video made my day. it's just a simple (and yes, interesting) video but its implications go beyond words (ok im exaggerating but you get the idea). now, i shan't even begin to talk about the contents of video because if i do, i'm gonna have to tell you the whole thing and that'd take too much space and finger-energy.

the devil in me is contemplating on skipping training later tonight cos my groin is hurting due to my disastrous attempts at doing side splits last night (go on, laugh at me) in the lounge while watching The Amazing Race. but at the same time, i know i'd feel horrible if i skip training.

hmm. there's an ongoing battle in my head. i think i'm gonna faint.

i wonder what it feels like to faint.

hmm...

Wednesday, September 8, 2004

03:01 p.m.

Fingers at work

i'm currently doing some serious slacking in my room. At this moment, all tutorials, projects and assignments are non-existent in my realm of awareness.

right now, i don't give a shit.

'cos im just waaaay toooo sleepy. muaahaha. but i can't nap just yet because i just had my lunch. i'm just typing nonsense here just so i won't subconsciously walk to the bed and fall into unconsciousness. moving the fingers really do keep you awake, you should try it.

ok what's next, what's next?

shit, i'm running out of things to type. my eyelids are drooping. time! i'm running out of time! c'mon think. quick.

ok. let's do what some bo-liao bloggers do and talk about my beautiful day. (ok fine, im guilty of that sometimes but who cares, i'm typing now)

morning class at 8am. waking up wasn't so much a pain as compared to last week. that's probably 'cos i slept earlier.

digression: i recall a conversation with petrina this morning while queuing up in the ladies.

pet: i'm tired.
me: oh, i slept early last night. so it's not so bad.
pet gave a fake (but good enough) 'good-for-you' smile.
me: yeah, slept at two plus.
pet's smile vanished.

if you haven't already realised, i typed that conversation just to keep my fingers going.

Sarah McLachlan's singing on my player right now. a song i haven't heard in a while. i remember downloading it a few yrs back after watching this animated movie about a cow-girl doll that was discarded. or something like that. does anyone remember the title? hell, it doesn't matter. like i said, i'm just typing.

sum41's "32 ways to die" is now playing. good stuff, i like the drums. go check it out, i think it's from their older albums. hum di dum

mario's making sounds outside my room. i'm gonna kill him later. or maybe i should just nap.

whoa, i'm still typing! this is good therapy for one who doesn't wanna sleep. it's even better than chatting because you don't have to wait for a reply. in fact, you're talking to no one! you're just talking to..

okay fine. still, it helps and that is all that matters. i'm rambling, aren't i?

i just realised i digressed earleir and didn't return to the topic about my day, which is something i never wanted to talk about anyways. so let's all move on, yeah!

or not. it's high time i end this entry. a lil sth before i go..

flora, i miss you!!! was reading the testi you wrote me on friendster. sweet. thanks, dear *smooch*

"If I could I would do all of this again
Travel back in time with you to where this all began
We could hide inside ourselves and leave the world behind
And make believe there's something left to find."
- Miles Apart, Yellowcard

Tuesday, September 7, 2004

07:14 p.m.

help!

i can't stop laughing.

Friday, September 3, 2004

01:01 p.m.

The Terminal (edited)

okay in case some of you are wondering, that's a title of an upcoming movie that'll be released here in spore soon.

ok here's the thing. i'm in this expedition team that is doing some fund raising for the peeps in cambodia and we're selling The Terminal movie tix for 12 bucks.

fine, i know it's a lil too ex for a movie but hey, it's for a good cause, no? we'll be needing all the help we can get (in this case, monetary). so pls pls pls get tix from me. you can ask your friends along too!

and to top if all off, The Terminal seems like a promising movie. Tom Hanks and Catherine Zeta Jones, what more could you ask for? ;)

So, you know what to do, yep?

The Terminal
Date: 15th September, Wednesday
Time: 9pm 7:15pm
Venue: Eng Wah Cinemas, Suntec City
Tickets at $12.00

G'day!!

p.s. the profits received are solely for the cambodian kids, and not for our expedition trip. this is emphasized because some people have apparently gotten the wrong idea. we really need all the support we can get. thanks, guys!

Friday, September 3, 2004

02:36 a.m.

So all's good.

i've completed my agenda for tonight but i can't seem to get to sleep. feeling much too wide awake right now (and amazingly NOT hungry). i'm even too awake to read my cognitive psych text. how wierd is that?

oh yes, i know i'm wierd.

but all's good. training today was good and oh, i must really emphasize the whole peaceful mind thingy due to the completed essay (refer to previous entry). joined the rest for supper at the coffee shop behind after training and shared good hilarious conversations with them all. so all's good. Something Marcus said really cracked me up but i shan't bother blogging it down because you won't get the full effect just by reading it. Pat was funny too, as always.. and she laughed so hard at my "operation flab reduction". i mean, hey i know i'm funny but that wasn't that funny. but all's good, anyways.

grading on monday. ain't sure if i'm really prepared for it but all's good. did yeepon(however you spell it) kumite with ivan after training and learnt a lot of blocking moves from him and zhiwei as well. so all's good. i'll just try to perfect my kataa during the weekend and all will be good on monday :)

i think i haven't fully recovered from my contentment of completing the essay this afternoon. or rather, yesterday afternoon (it's friday now!).

before i let my fingers get the better of me, i shall once again, attempt to go to bed. jianzhong just sent me an msn msg "so late still havent sleep yet?"

alright, alright. all's good. i will sleep now. nights!

Thursday, September 2, 2004

05:00 p.m.

Rejoice!

Assignment finished. Essay DONE.

and i repeat, done. done done done.

I'm a little pissed though, because the freaking essay killed much of my brain cells. and true to my word(s) in the previous entry, i am about to complain.

i am exhausted.

and I shall take a much deserved (and needed) nap, after which i'll head off for training. with a peaceful mind, i must add, of not having to think about an incompleted essay that is due tmrw.

boooooyah.

Thursday, September 2, 2004

01:39 p.m.

Breathing.

"I believe in a thing called love" by The Darkness is playing on my wmp right now.

wierd, but i think i've deleted the mp3 a couple of times due to the very fact that i find the song rather disturbing. i know lin finds the song amusing (from what i gather in one of her older entries. then again, i don't trust my memory these days). well, it isn't amusing really but the music video is. ugly-looking band made up of peeps with funny long hair (or not? it could've been another band. told you sth's wrong with my memory). i'm gonna delete the mp3 once more and then we'll see if it'll magically appear again.

school's done for the week but there is much that needs to be done. i feel swamped with school work. the amount of projects that needs to be done is overwhelming. that, together with all the essays and tests. oh my. something is definitely wrong with this semester!

but you know what? i shan't complain, 's not gonna help anyways. i shall, however, ocassionally complain about my frequent lethargy. :P but of course, i'm hoping i won't have to.

i'm really missing a good friend of mine, who seems really distant these days. sure, she's been around but it seems like we're slowly growing apart. we haven't really been talking like we used to. i miss the old days where i could just pop by her room when i feel like doing nothing and just space out. and now, all we have is the ocassional 'Hi's, 'Bye's, 'good night's and the little conversations here and there.

on the surface, it doesn't really feel like anything's wrong. perhaps, it is really nothing and i'm just being more sensitive than i really should. then again, i trust my gut feeling and intuition. something's amiss but i don't know what. or perhaps, it's prolly just the amount of work all of us have that's causing all these.

oh well, we'll see what happens.

"Is it just me, or are we not that close anymore, considering that we've been living together for the 2nd yr?"
- JM

Wednesday, September 1, 2004

02:51 p.m.

Put your ass into it.

phew!

1. Fistful of Colours IVLE posting
2. Stats graded assignment
3. Fistful of Colours Essay

cmon cmon. just one more to go for this week! after which, i'll have to mug for my cognitive psych test on tues.

bah.

Classes are finally over for today. Been up since 8.30am (so i woke up an hour late) and ended up attending only the 2nd half of my stats lecture. During the lecture, I came to realise how much weaker i am these days (shame on me!). Over the past few days, I could actually feel the gradual deterioration of my body resistance against lack of sleep. While i was able to withstand a whole day of school with just a few hours of sleep in the past, i am no longer able to do so now. The immensely uncomfortable, agitatingly restless feeling i went through in the lecture was so unbearable, i just couldn't stop fidgeting. It was so bad I ended up falling asleep during the 2-hour break before my 12pm tutorial.

ok trivialities aside, let's get on to the more pressing issue.

a good friend dropped by my room last night while i was doing my statistic graded assignment and he has left me pretty confused. no, it's not what you're thinking (whatever you're thinking). he wanted me to be part of his team. and honestly, the whole idea appealed to me. i really don't mind working under him and being a part of his team and to be frank, i don't even mind doing the tasks the post would require me to do, provided i don't have to do any other hall activities.

The problem here lies with the fact that going for it would require the sacrifice of having to give up the things i want and have already agreed to do. things like expedition and karate comm. Moreover, work for these committees are already going into full swing. There is no way i can back out at this time. And yet, Eh really needs a team and i really want to help him.

I was so torn last night. i still am.

Deep down, i know i'd eventually end up rejecting his offer because no matter how keen i am at doing that, i really do not wish to give up expedition.

I also know that i would be engulfed with guilt if i said no. i'd feel really bad.

but right now, i really need some sleep. anti-climax, i know. but the lethargy's really killing me.

g'night peeps.