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hito wo aishicha ikenai hito nante inainda yo... sei-chan... |
KIRAKU NA AKUMA v11.2
akuma (a' ku ma) pron. [Jpn aku (bad, evil) + ma (witch, evil spirit)] 1 member of AKG who is spontaneous, niko-niko, and also a scribbler, manga/anime obsessor, and high school student 2 demon
name: mirae aka: akuma, kanojo(chan) age: 17 bday: 030584 profile: akuma no profile aim/email: kanojochan/podho@aol.com links: *akg studios*kaijuu ga iru* *O gravity*eien no yume*culex* *archive* events: .... drawings: ::purple:: 082701 :: smaller version of pitas v10 background.
AS OF 101701: BISH PAIR: van x folken SONG: mystic eyes - wada hiroki FOOD: ... DRINK: caramel frap MANGA: X/1999 or yami no matsuei ANIME: ayashi no ceres, escaflowne, gravitation PROGRAM: photoshop 5.0 TASK: akg studios, commissions, rpg, multi-tasking manga PLACE: dunno..... HOBBY: drawing and daydreaming
PROJECTS manga: *assassin no jinsei da zo =synopsis coming soon!= *tenshi mitai ni new title: kimi ga suki dakara hitori ni shinai =new plot made! coming soon!=
drawings: *sailormoon *rayearth *x/1999 *cardcaptor sakura *rurouni kenshin *fushigi yuug *weib kreuz *kaitou jeanne
commissions: *lafiel - sekai no monshou
other: *RPG with late crew - chara design assistant
VOICES sung by: akino arai translated by: me series: macross plus
the first word is "dream" from inside my sleep the darkness deep in my heart is gently brought out
the second word is "wind" it tells me to go within the arms of god i flap my wings
the sad things that melted away were as if being counted a golden apple falls again
a view i've never seen that is the place i return to just one life in which i will find my way
an old magic book a moon drop, night curtain a feeling i'll see you again that is all
we can fly we have wings we can touch floating dreams call me from so far through the wind in the light
the third word is "hum" if you strain your ears your trembling arms i will gently let go
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* Saturday, November 3, 2001 * 9:27 p.m. *
still need to do apps, still need to do hw, still need to make pitas layout, still need to finish commissions, still need to do lots of other stuff. >_< i swear that hypnosis tape from the other day is still working! i was in such a good mood. =_= even though i'm stressed, i'm still in a good mood... odd....no?
then i went to mitsuwa and had some food, and then came home. salvador got a haircut, and its gunna take some getting used to for me. i'm supposed to take over for heidi for about 4 hours on sunday, but i still have yet to tell my parents about it. =_=
later on, kevin got undescribably bored so i relieved him of his boredom for about 2 hours at starbucks and we just sat there and talked about random things while drinking coffee for about 30 mins of that time.
i still have yet to finish college apps, get working on my portfolio, finish commissions, and get other things done that i can't really think of at the moment... i'm gunna... go lie in bed and daydream for a while. ~_~
psychology must be doing something to me, cuz the teacher made us listen to a self-hypnotizing tape, and it's supposed to relax us from stress and negative emotions, and i didn't think it was working while i was sitting there, but i'm having 2nd thoughts cuz i've been in a fairly good mood all day...;; weird, no? o_O;
after school i went home with connie to work on rop project cuz everything i needed was there. went to go drop it off, and then went to fantasia. got some chicken from q-cup, and then went home after dropping connie off. homework. done. food. done. talking. in progress. >_<
so then i came home and made a buncha cupcakes for gaki's party~ =D went, watched pekkle and jack play silent hill 2 and this one other game.... devil may day or something like that >_< so yeah, supposedly horror games which were interesting to watch. the next thing i know we're playing parapara and ddr. o_O; then i had to leave around 9:30. throughout the whole time we all had some pizza, shaved ice, cupcakes, etc etc. it was good times ^_^
so now i'm sitting here on my lazy @$$ updating pitas when i should be getting my hw done. =_= stupid me...
i have a lot to catch up on in math cuz i dun get a buncha stuff, and i need to get stuff doneeee ;_; i have 2 nights of hw to catch up on and i still have rop project due thursday and auuuuuuuuu ;_; my voice BETTER be back tomorrow or the radio drama in japanese is gunna suck REALLY bad.
come to think of it i still need to get college apps done, make new pitas layout, work on portfolio... GAH!!! and i'm tired, too ;_; still need lots of rest to get healthy againnn... garururururuu... my mind's back to normal, though~ physical energy's still kinda... a little above rock bottom, but yeah, mentally i'm ok =D ...and don't look at me like i'm lying when i say that! >_<
time to work work work on schoolwork, and then get lots lots lots of sleep with NYQUIL!! man.... that stuff is lethal o_O; do not operate heavy machinery while on that medicine! gunna kill someone!
oh yeah, i left my retainers in my locker at work so i gotta get them tomorrow...
unusually tired for some reason... i dun get the physics, and i understand the math, so all should be ok. yep. psychology test was really hard, though. che.
i woke up 15 mins later than i had wanted to, so i was a bit grumpy cuz i couldn't go buy food from safeway, otherwise i'd be late. then i realized i could still buy food from the cafeteria...;;; heh.. hadn't bought school food for the longest time, so kinda forgot about it. ^^; psychology, trig, japanese, physics, lunch, government, english, rop. got gas for car on the way to rop. afterward: bank, car wash (it's all pretty now~~), mitsuwa and got tea and boro and paycheck and manga. work on saturday is gunna be... bad. i can already tell. ~_~ ::haa:: then i came home. as soon as i got home, i had to go pick my brother up, which really sucked. oh well.
i'm off my rag and should be ok in a week or so. lovely, isn't it? and when that moment comes, and another convenient moment comes, i shall do something that may result in my wanting to throw myself off a cliff. ^_^ wish me luck, all~~
as for the moment, i'm gunna get some grub. very hungry. and then i'll do my homework ^^
i woke up 15 mins later than i had wanted to, so i was a bit grumpy cuz i couldn't go buy food from safeway, otherwise i'd be late. then i realized i could still buy food from the cafeteria...;;; heh.. hadn't bought school food for the longest time, so kinda forgot about it. ^^; psychology, trig, japanese, physics, lunch, government, english, rop. got gas for car on the way to rop. afterward: bank, car wash (it's all pretty now~~), mitsuwa and got tea and boro and paycheck and manga. work on saturday is gunna be... bad. i can already tell. ~_~ ::haa:: then i came home. as soon as i got home, i had to go pick my brother up, which really sucked. oh well.
i'm off my rag and should be ok in a week or so. lovely, isn't it? and when that moment comes, and another convenient moment comes, i shall do something that may result in my wanting to throw myself off a cliff. ^_^ wish me luck, all~~
as for the moment, i'm gunna get some grub. very hungry. and then i'll do my homework ^^
tomorrow i will go get gas for car, get some coffee, get to school, go to rop, go to mitsuwa and get tea and pickup paycheck, cash paycheck, go home, watch anime, do hw, eat, chat, and then sleep. i'm still wondering if i should go to homecoming dance this weekend... i dunno if the $23 will be worth it... practically noone's going- only heidi, tim, derrick, irene, david, and tiff are going for sure. ...not..a lot... oh well, w/e. we'll see. nite!
oooh yeah, i have japanese project to work on at tim's house. ....stupidly, i still dunno how to get there. ::sigh:: need to get concentrating on homework! HOMEWORK!! grrr... have a really big test tomorrow, a project due right after that (which i haven't started), and... other things.... which i can't really remember at the moment... ::haaa:: japanese project's gunna be fun, though. i get an idea of what doing radio dramas is gunna be like. ^_^ seiyuuuuu tte kanji~~~
on side notes, i still have love hina, sakura taisen ova, gundam wing endless waltz, and recca no honou to watch on my cds. i'm up to ep8 on love hina. -_- i'm starting to change my mind about it... lots of pointless filler episodes, but they're not too bad. ~_~ nani ittenda atashi...;;;
so anyway! since i wasted most of my day sleeping and watching love hina, i should get into benkyou mode and start doing some work. someone help me... ::sob::
i came home and i finished a drawing i was semi-working on last night. all in all the thing took me 2-3 hours... she's an odd-eye and the main chara to this one story i kinda came up with while i was at work. also got inspiration from a postcard on gaki's closet door drawn by nanase-sensei. tehe~~~ so yeah~ new pitas layout is coming soon. ::smile::
so yeah, turns out that ryo could go, but only for a little bit. we went to the high-5 arcade, and heidi went to work around 4:15ish, i gave ryo a ride home (cuz his mom's scary o_O), went back to arcade for a while. AKI AND YUUKI ARE REALLY GOOD AT DDR!!! OH MY GOD!! gotta practice and be as good as them! >_< MOTIVATION, DOOD! and ikuyoshi's really cool cuz even though he failed this one song, he still tried~ XD then we went to mitsuwa to get some drinks. tehe~ i was getting a drink from miyabi-tei when oscar was whistling at me and winking again, and for some reason it got to me a LOT more than usual, and i semi-hid behind aki. >_< aki, gomen!!
ah~ and the ride home was fun, too~ ikuyoshi and yuuki were talking about random things in the back, while i semi-spaced out while listening to their convo. aki put in random comments and he's a funny boy =D so yeah, dropped them off at home, enjoyed a quiet ride back, and now i'm sitting here starving my @$$ off. >_< time to eat!!! sore ja!!
rop was cool cuz akg went fanatic over some clamp stuff, and it was fun. chobits is getting really dark... but the story's getting really good. and i went to gaki's place to watch the X ova episode zero. one word: deliciouslysexybishineckingeachotherwiththemostkickassanimationandmusicever!! ok. read gaki's pitas for more detailed info. heh, x was also another up of the day. yay.
now i have tons of work to get done. this sucks. homework, and i THOUGHT i understood everything for physics, but i don't think i did well on the quiz at all, and it SUCKS!! though i think i'll do ok on the trig quiz on friday, cuz it's only on the law of sines and cosines, which is pretty easy. up to this point, at least... ok... time to go wrinkle that brain of mine. or what's left of it.
::sigh:: as you can tell, i'm not in a very good mood right now. i just hope noone gets overly cheerful with me or i'm gunna get irritated. today was just not my day.
my mom, on the other hand, was yelling at me about my progress report, and again, brought up the "are you even planning on going to college?!?!" thing. i was being my usual unemotional self while she talked, and she tried to piss me off when i wasn't reacting the way she wanted me to when she said certain things.
so yeah, i walked into my room and cried for about an hour cuz i regretted not trying harder in school and cuz i don't want my brother to be an academic failure like me. but i was crying mostly because i was so frustrated that i let my gaurd down just cuz she was nice to me the past couple of days. also cuz i was stressed about everything already, and i didn't need all that yelling in one night. oh well. i got it out of the way. i don't care anymore, mom-bitch can go burn in hell for all i care.
i went to school this morning looking like a wreck cuz my eyes were still swollen from so much crying. anyone who looked at me could tell i was exhausted. the caramel frap i got before class was way too sweet, and i couldn't finish it all. an up side to the day was lunch. i went to mcdonalds with heidi, aki, and ryo. heidi still took my food. dork.
aki's still hard to talk to. he only gives me one-word/short phrase answers when i say something. never liked someone that was this hard to open up, so i'm not really sure how to deal right now... but because i'm stubborn and persistent and stupid, i'm gunna continue getting hurt, and i'm gunna keep talking to him. because i like him. because i'm programmed to be this way.
this week is going to be a really rough week. so is next week. i need something good to happen to me.
today? i also went to work cuz i left early yesterday to go to the street dance. i gotta go pick her up around 8 cuz she has no car today. which is fine with me. i was really feeling crappy for some reason at work and i think i looked really freaky, too...;;; but yeah, things brightened up toward the later part of the day cuz the courtesy and tom-boss were being really funny. ^_^ i hadn't seen roy or tom-aniki in a long time, too, so it felt like the good ole days back during the summer again. =P
i have a headache... gunna do some homework, go pick up heidi, finish homework if i'm not done by then, and then go to sleep. ::haa:: i should eat, too, huh? =_= coffee...
my wonderful monthly 3-week cycle has come back to visit me. it loves me. but i hate it. poor heidi.. she hates it when i'm like this. =_= not like i can help it, but yeah...
oh yes, i have officially fallen, broken a few things, and cannot get up because i am hopelessly in love. too bad the dude doesn't like me back. maa, it's ok. i shall work on it.
along with that, i think i should also get registered for sats, do college apps, work on portfolio, while going to work, getting grades up, and trying to stay stress free all on top of that. great, isn't it? i love my life. ha, funny.
::fuu:: tired.... FINALLY finished that damn essay for english so now i'm gunna... semi relax. nite.
i found avocados in the fridge earlier, so i made some avocado maki out of them. it's... not too bad, actually. my brother stole a roll or so...; and it tastes even better dipped in wasabi w/ soy sauce. yep, nice dinner. i'm getting really thirsty. must have cold drink. something sweet?
oh yes, i have officially fallen, broken a few things, and cannot get up because i am hopelessly in love. too bad the dude doesn't like me back. i have such an ironic love life.
it's weird cuz i fell asleep before 10 last night. my intention was to sign online around 10 when my brother got off, but i think i was too tired without even realizing it.
rushed morning. rushed afternoon. i came home to make lunch, and when i got to school, heidi ended up taking about 3/4 of it. ::sigh:: heidi, you SOOOOO owe me one. or two. or three or four. =_=.
there was an unexpected fire drill during 6th period, and i got to see aki. he was wearing his headphones (as usual), and walking with ryo. i was walking with heidi. the one who stole my lunch. =_=.
matt gave me the spindle of cds i got him so he could burn me lots of anime. apparently, 50 cds isn't nearly enough. ::sweatdrop:: so i'm gunna get another spindle sometime soon and yeah... i watched part of ayashi no ceres, and it's one of those animes where you watch it and it's just.. ::po:: changes you forever type. really good show. but some of the episodes won't work on my comp so i gotta fix that somehow otherwise i'll go crazy. i HAVE to watch the missing episodes! but other than that, i have about 40 other cds i could be watching. ::smile::
i am drifting. far away. drift... drift...
i feel a case of bluntness coming on- in other words, if i have something to express, i will put it to you straight, whether it's a good or bad thing. and considering i'm not in the most amiable mood right now, i suggest nobody come talking to me if they have problems. i shall let everyone know when i'm good and ready to be nice. i'm gunna go out and try relaxing now.
i'm flipping through my sailormoon manga cuz i had this urge one morning. i noticed 2 things. 1: the art in the beginning of the series is nicer. 2: the manga story's a LOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT better than the anime. i'm talking 100x better than i thought in middle school. crazy difference o_O;
so yes, now i'm gunna sit here and make progress on life.
street dance. i wanna go. but it's always so friggin expensive and nothing to do cuz there's noone but adults who are getting drunk and nothing but wine stands and if there's real food, it's always like... $7 for a bowl of spaghetti. and that bowl's small. but i still wanna go. cuz there are other people going. i hope i have fun. i hope they do, too.
... i hear people racing outside my window. they're like.... 2-3 blocks away and niiiice sports cars. hope there aren't any police around...
i read jack's pitas earlier and silent hill in the middle of the night in a pitch black room sounds really fun. i wanna do that with someone sometime. i'll get a temporary thrill out of it. need one.
and i'm lonely. i've felt this deep emptiness in me for a really long time and i dunno how to get rid of it and yeah... need something to keep me happy. no, i'm not gunna start taking drugs, so dun worry. and no, this is also not the reason why i've been apathetic. lonliness and apathy's different. i think mirae's going through another trip of depression. crappit. but it'll be ok cuz i won't hurt myself like i did in middle school and early high school. all is good. kinda. i just need to get out of this. ::haa::
i got my retainers today. i don't mind them as much as braces cuz they're removable.
and i think the only good thing that happened to me today was that heidi and i went to mcdonalds and she got me a yogurt thingy. thanks heidi~ ::niko::
as for other things? not much... i was planning on taking a nap, but i had too much crap to get done. my essay took me half an hour and psych study took me one.. dinner took me a while cuz i was watching the last 2 episodes of kenshin OVA, and cleaning up the kitchen took a while, too. i stayed out till about 5:30, so that may have been why i couldn't nap. was at kino's and put 2 books on hold. yami no matsuei chara sketch books ::drool::
so yes.... i shall go and sleep now so i can fail tomorrow's psych test. good night.
::sigh:: butterflies in stomach...
i have sooooo little homework tonight it's really cool. heh.
wow, i'm on my 2nd bottle of tea of the day.
and then it was rop after school. i got my physics lab done. dood, kenji gave me the nastiest bruise i'd ever seen. he pinched me when i was teasing him and now it's this purple-red bump on my arm that's bleeding internally and hurts like hell. oh well. it'll go away within a couple of weeks. so yeah, after rop, gaki and i went to togo's cuz i hadn't eaten anything all day and i was ready to eat something that shouldn't be eaten. togos never tasted better.
so now i'm sitting at home with a crapload of homework to do and yeah... i need to take sat2s... or retake sat1s... haven't even prepared. crap. i hate sats. they're pointless, money-wasting, time-wasting, resource-consuming, pointless pointless pointless pieces of shit that have no purpose in peoples' lives except to make them miserable. did i mention they're pointless? you know those essay questions where they say "if you could go back in time, who would you want to meet and why?"? my answer would be to meet the idiot that first came up with the idea of sats and shoot him/her before he/she can even open his/her mouth. THAT. my friends. would be the highlight. of. my. life.
i'm supposed to clean my room and my car and then do my homework... i wonder if i'll get around to doing them. room first, then car, then homework later tonight. and i'm not dreading tomorrow all that much cuz tomorrow's gunna be a GOOD day. XD
and heidi! i'm gunna go for it! i'm gunna use all my energy and do whatever it takes! so cheer me on and support me if i fall flat on my face, ok?? tanomu zo!
so yes, i am now gunna go and clean my room. >_<
and my desk.... is a war zone. ::sigh:: so much for being organized. =_= this weekend is going to be another room cleanout day!
tomorrow! hang out with heidi after school~ <3 then it's off to get my flatscreen monitor with daddy! heidi, wanna come with me? =D
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