change of plans! coming back late tonight rather than tomorrow. this way i make it on time to beibi's tanjoubi iwai-ness~ woot!
last night the 3 of us (heidi dahoon me) went to king and i for dinner, where hoon and i went for lunch earlier...;; nde! i munched on appetizer egg rolls and some of heidi's curry while everyone else had normal meals. gahd their thai iced tea is orgasmically good *_* twas some cookie action and then off we were to the theater to watch 'secret window'. it was different from what i thought it'd be, but still quite good :3 johnny depp's movies are getting better these days (take pirates for one) :3 hoi... back to oakes, and now it's time to get ready for the day long drive back to socal.
i bit my tongue the other day while eating pizza. it hurt like a bitch to the point where i went numb for a bit. it hurts a lot more now =_=;; whatever happened to getting better??? isn't it supposed to heal, rather than get worse??? "maybe you bit it too hard and it's internally bleeding.. and that blood is swelling up in there..." ............... i do not need that right now!!! he's evil. i swear to god he's out to destroy me!
<3
~ Friday, March 12, 2004 ~ 07:14 a.m. ~
man wadafa.... it's no fun when a good chunk of the day is spent with your significant other sleeping cuz their sleeping patterns got messed. che...
the trip up was by far the most colorful one. huge fields of pink and white, and for a little bit, just bright yellow hills. flowers, man... spring is here. all them cherry/plum/apple trees... *_* i r teh in santa cruz now, and de weather is b-e-a-utiful~ well.... it was till last night when it got all foggy. but twas niiiice~ went to the beach and dinner with heidi, wootness~ other than that, we haven't been doing much. more vegetating and watching movies. went to the mall the other day to look for some strappy shoes and such, but didn't find anything suitable. myeh... got flipflops. yesterday i went to lunch at hava with jeff whilst the nocturnal being (dahoon) slept. i think next time i'll get the quesadillas, too. X3
so i'll be going back down tuesday morning.. get there by afternoon.. and hopefully make it to a certain person's bday thingiemajig that evening (?)
~ Sunday, March 7, 2004 ~ 08:28 p.m. ~
man... today was hot. and i must pack for the week since i will be going up to santa cruz. WAHOO!
~ Friday, March 5, 2004 ~ 08:53 p.m. ~
today overall was like any other day, just a little below average. however, i did have a really good time when i went out to dinner with my family, as weird as that may seem. my brother managed to turn the most annoying things (like the kids on the other side of the screen screaming) into the most hilarious memories. things definitely got a lot better toward the end of dinner. on our way home i was in my brother's car and we raced this one dude with a new SI300. it was fuuun >_< now i'm back in my room where the glum from before dinner still lingers. thank you to everyone who wished me happy day today ^_^ it got happy at one point so all is well~ arigatou <3
~ Wednesday, March 3, 2004 ~ 04:11 p.m. ~
i r teh lonely...;_;
~ Sunday, February 29, 2004 ~ 10:49 p.m. ~
slept 12 hours the past 2 nights, both nights had somewhat disturbing dreams, both mornings had a hard time waking up despite the amount of rest. maa ikka... my brother came home today. twas interesting how a couple hours earlier, my dad called and said brother was asking if i was home or not, and he figured he missed me. how sweet. so yeh, he came home, it was nice seeing him again and we actually hugged....;; as weird as that may be. but my mom wasn't happy to see him. and she didn't even say much besides a cold hi. made me feel so sad for him... i dunno about anyone else, but i think the very least she could've done was be happy to see him and hug him hello and be mad at him after dinner or something, instead of saying "why should i be nice?? it's because i was nice that he failed out of school and now he's down here!" well... it's true that he did fail and that was his own fault, but after a long drive and not seeing us since november, i think he would've liked a warmer welcome... anyone would... i just think that was really fucked up of my mom, and i felt really bad for bro..
~ Friday, February 27, 2004 ~ 05:05 p.m. ~
today's one of those days where i just screw everything up. my brain and heart had left me by the time i woke up or something and everything went downhill from there. i went to take prince out on a walk and i did that right. i was so happy i almost cried.
~ Thursday, February 26, 2004 ~ 09:19 p.m. ~
my brother's moving down this weekend. something sounds wrong about that... moving doesn't mean just visiting... it means like...... bed, clothes, computer, everything. ho shizzy?! high school 2nd semester just started, didn't it?? how did things get so bad that he had to move down here without finishing school first??? ::haaaaaaaa:: mou ii... akireta... disappointed cuz i really really wished he'd do better in school than i did...
i rented "8mm" and "matchstick men" yesterday. 8mm was.... disturbing, to say the least, but still pretty good. matchstick men definitely doesn't go under the comedy category, but it's a touching story :3 watching both movies was pretty intense and i found myself emotionally tired afterwards. you know that feeling you get when you watch a really good movie or anime and when it's all over you think, "wow... i feel as if my life has changed" and i figured it just happens when you go through practically all emotions possible while watching the characters going through what they go through. i was getting that feeling last night, too, while reading fushigi yuugi. yes, i touched my manga again. woohoo!!
it's great, i don't feel as unproductive as before. life's starting to move a bit :3
~ Sunday, February 22, 2004 ~ 11:32 p.m. ~
wow i'm still up o_o; i've been sleeping way before midnight a lot these days... waking up before 9, too. unhealthy? naah... odd? well.. yes >_> i dunno where my dad went, but he was gone for the past couple days, and then he came home today... out of the blue... and the next thing i know, him and mom are acting like they weren't giving each other the silent treatment for nearly a week before he left. i mean wth is going on?? then again, everyone has their share of problems, right? riiiight....
after registering for classes and having some "real" ones like writing and design stuffs, i feel like my life is finally starting to move. tis a great feeling, and i'm liking it a lot. i don't mind that i'm a little older than i should be for someone starting college, as opposed to a while ago, when i did mind...;; this summer's gunna be a busy one~
i just realized... monday the 16th was our 9 month anniversary o_O i was still in sc then, too o_O;; totally forgot it again ~_~;;; it'd be so sad if we forgot our 1 year x_X;;;
side scribbles:
= the nausea i've had for a while has gone away via dream of my swimming underwater in a room-sized tank with a barracuda coming after me
= when it rains, it pours in oceans
= why do RO noobs keep coming to me for shit?!
= i love the michaels i discovered yesterday!! so clean and organized with huge selections and... *_* <3
= left my bubble of a room for a bit to do some shopping for my mom. i just met the world.
~ Friday, February 20, 2004 ~ 10:51 a.m. ~
translation to last entry. if you don't want it, skip this paragraph. "hello~ right now i'm lacking sleep and feeling crappy... but no worries, i think i'll be ok soon. i spent this weekend in sc. there were some disappointments, but no big deal, i'm not thinking about them anymore. what'd we do? nnnn... same thing as always - go out to eat, watch movies, etc etc~ i didn't bring my computer soooo we couldn't play ro together.... maa thas ok too. i was just reading other peoples' blogs earlier and... it was so nostalgic, i just wanted to throw this life away and go back to the good ole' days. i felt bad and regretted thinking it. what to do...? isn't this like.. symptoms of a midlife crisis....? ~_~ well k mebe not... uh..? why's all in japanese...?"
for the past few weeks i've been getting queasy for the better part of the day. it kills my appetite, makes me tired, and i dun wanna do anything.
aa yes, the long awaited moment of a finished drawing! well.. for me at least.. an RO piece of munak, though it doesn't really look like her without her hat. the writing? eh... i dunno. just something that popped into mind when i thought that would prolly be one of bongun's memories of her. that might possibly be the way a lot of girls would want to be remembered - all sparkly bubbly happy shoujo manga-ish. semete omoidashite kureru nara, egao no mama de onegai suru yo...
i gotta wonder... in all my relationships, why's it so hard to see the guy? why do they always have be far away? i mean high school, they were within 5 miles no big deal, we went to different schools and had no car so getting place to place was a bitch. but now? 400 miles?? lack of phone and completely opposite sleeping hours don't help. i seem to need him most when he's not here so i go there. but 6 hours driving alone is really taxing, and i'm thinking i shouldn't do it anymore when by the time i recover from the drive, it's nearly time to head back. come to me just once...
~ Tuesday, February 17, 2004 ~ 02:41 p.m. ~
hallon desu~ ima no ore wa nebusoku de kimochi wariinssu ga... daijoubu! mou sukoshi de raku ni naru darou to omou no de anshin shite kudasaimashi. konkai no shuumatsu wa sc de sugoshitanssu. chotto gakkari shita mon wa attanssuga, taishita koto nainde ima wa kini shitenaissu yo~ nani shita ka to kiku to... nnnn... itsumo to onaji mon kana - meshi kui ni dekaketari eiga mitari shitanssuyo~ jibun no computer motte konakattandeeee.. issho ni RO yaru koto dekimasenshita neee... maa sore mo ii kedo. cho- sakki hoka no hito no blog yondari shite nee, nankaa... natsukashiii ki ga shite saa, ima no jinsei sutete kako ni modoritai tte kibun ni nattanssuyo. iya na kimochi de sou omotte sugu koukai shitanssu. do-shiyo... ima no ore tte maru de mirai no midlife crisis mitai na ...symptom.. janainssuka? ~_~ maa sore demo nai to omounssukedo nee... are...? nande zenbu nihongo nandarou ne...?
~ Wednesday, February 11, 2004 ~ 06:53 p.m. ~
last night jason came over and we went out to boba X3 i had seen michelle just this weekend but it still felt like i hadn't seen anyone in forever. twas nice chillin with him again. too bad i had to cut the night a little short cuz i was getting tired x_X; lately sleep went in a down-before-midnight-up-by-7 routine...
i woke up feeling a pain in my stomach, spinning in head, quite empty and incomplete. then i noticed it was actually light out, unlike the past few mornings where it was still dark when i woke. had another RO dream, something about a war and me picking up my hair tie right in front of the opposing army and people spazzing saying i'll die. meh... chatted with some people, but i still didn't feel better, so i just... ........actually i dun remember what happened this morning. a few hours later i was cleaning the house with my mom. some hardcore cleaning. took from 11something till 4:30. rested for a bit before i helped her make curry. damn it was good *_*
i was listening to a breast-firming commercial on a korean tv channel. two things i found weird about it: 1) they were playing bemani's "dariri dam" in the background, 2) it was being advertised by men.
this weekend is valentine's and i'm wondering if my mom'll let me go to santa cruz....;; considering i just spent the past month in norcal and got back last week, i really doubt she'll be cool with it. as for me... i wanna go as much as i hate the thought of driving again.
~ Tuesday, February 10, 2004 ~ 11:31 a.m. ~
alrighty! brain processing power from 200mhz boosted to 500! ... well... at least for an hour... i just got back from taking the placement tests for reading, writing, and math at fullerton college. no surprise - my confidence in math is rock bottom, despite the fact it couldn't have been higher than pre-algebra ;_; as for the reading/writing ::thumbs up:: X3 the testing itself was pretty cool, all on computer in a little testing room, no appointment necessary. yep~ i feel productive so now i'm gunna try drawing or working on a layout or something :3 man... pitas layout so old x_X; gah!
~ Saturday, February 7, 2004 ~ 10:50 p.m. ~
woweeeee~~ haven't had this much excitement in quite a while! friday i went to long beach to see my beibi michelle~ met 2 of her friends and off we went girls night out clubbin *_* i say thas the most exercise i've gotten in too long. weak knees!! X_X; itwassomuchfun!! XD so after that we went back to the dorms to just chillll and i fell asleep soon after shower, which wasn't long after kaeru-ing. i slept like a baby X3
come noontime the quest for michelle's YES! glue commenced. and even though the first part of our adventure was unsuccessful, it was great cuz she showed me hella stores in downtown XD later we migrated to irvine to see akg peoples and show michelle the apartment :3 too bad we couldn't stay long... it was good seeing them again, even though 3 out of 4 were in their own world on RO and the 4th was lost in her own world of whats-its-thing... ^^;;; myahaha~~
after watching chicago a 2nd time, i've decided that it's actually a pretty good movie~
i'm quite sick of driving. no more for a good long while plzkthx.
~ Thursday, February 5, 2004 ~ 05:43 a.m. ~
getting my sleeping back on track hasn't been working as well as i'd like. the night i got back to socal, slept 1am-6pm, next day 4pm-midnight, today 5pm-1:30am. it feels so wrong yet so natural to wake up while it's dark out. it gets fuckin cold in this house. .. anyway... the feeling of unproductivity still lingers, and i'm starting to wonder if i can get into any classes this semester since all the ones i've looked into are full. the last day to add a class was in jan... T_T
so yah, i got a little photo album whilst in cupertino with michelle-beibi, and i put all my pictures of akg, mihbr, and ukz in it. i think i look through it at least twice a day, half the reason cuz i like the album, and the other half cuz they make me smile, if not laugh. the front cover has this little window thing where you can stick a 3x3 pic in it, and i stuck in a picture taken at monterey bay aquarium of a gimpy bird on the balcony. somehow it suits the album really well.... /heh
OMG screwed up dream! o_O; i was at a camp thing and the counselors told the kids to write a letter to an older camper of their choice for valentine's day. we were all in a theatre place, and i had like.. 5 or 6 letters coming at me, and one of them was 2 pages long from a family friend kid, who couldn't have been more than 10. i had no interest in reading them, and come time to leave, the kid glomps onto me crying and sniffling and i'm like o_O;; what's wrong?? he confessed something like "i've loved you since i first met you, there's noone who loves you more than i do" kinda thing and here i am thinking "he's saying stuff like i love you to ME?! does he even know the meaning of the word?? O_O;;;" i was thinking dahoon save meeeeee T_T when the kids suddenly screamed, "LEAVE that guy! let ME have you!" O_O!?$@#?#@:$#$^%^ i managed to slip away after he completely broke down... =_=;;;;; time to go grocery shopping (?!) met up with dahoon (XD) got lots of fruit and candy..;; then i had to go to the kid's house cuz his family had some party going on. all the relatives were there and it was really formal and scary x_X; they greeted me like one of the family and i was like "..... this is like those get-togethers where you bring your fiance to meet the relatives..." i was trying to leave when the kid came out and said "you have to stay here or else your boyfriend dies" ............................ other stuff happened, dun remember what, and then i woke up some time later. sigh...
the feeling of disgust i felt in the dream was very similar to the times i was told "i love you" by some other people in the past. now that i think about it, i only got that feeling when there was absolutely no way i would get with him, despite the fact he made a really good friend and was a nice guy. this would result in avoiding the dood, if not being cold to him. hauuu.... somehow.. i get the feeling it'd still be like that =_=;; i'm such a bitch.. but i can't help it! T_T
i guess.. i'll go work on my memories page now....
~ Wednesday, February 4, 2004 ~ 02:54 a.m. ~
OKE!!! since i haven't draw for.... a VERY long time, i shall attempt something now! yes, i'm aware that it's 3am, but thas ok cuz i only woke up 3 hours ago and i got a good chunk of sleep in, so all is OKE! /no1~ i'm aiming for this to be new pitas layout since it's been waaaaaaay overdue now. fuHAH!! after that, if it hasn't taken me till the next sundown, i shall .... .... .... work on ocha! yeees... hehehehehehehe >D
oh, school, i got into fullerton college pretty much within an hour of applying... i guess this is what happens when you do it online and have a computer evaluate it for you. but yeah, the last day to add classes was in january, and i'm wondering if i'll still be able to get into the classes you can add anytime in the semester... ::wakuwakuwaku:: *_* if not, then i gotta wait for summer x_X; which doesn't really strike my interest much, cuz.... yeah... /sob
~ Monday, February 2, 2004 ~ 06:50 p.m. ~
i got back to socal last night around 10somethingish. my internet was down. i thought there was just something wrong with the computer again, and called poor bundy and made him try figuring it out with me T_T sorry bundy! but yeah, since it wouldn't work, i was feeling uber lonely and isolated and wasn't doing too well with that, so i called michelle and chatted with her :3 then her phone died at the worst possible moment of fear =_= at least she was in a convenient place! :D hahhahahaa~~ so yeh, it was freezing in the house so i went to bed in my sweater =_=;;
i had a really long weird dream, something about being back in high school and i had just started dating someone, which wasn't right cuz i never dated anyone from the same school before o_O; but i was thinking how it was nice cuz i could see him everyday, and i found one of his friends and asked him where sean was. supposedly this sean guy was the guy i was seeing. some white dood i don't think ever went to our school. so yeah, i went to go see him and he was with some other guys i know DID go to my school, and for some reason my brother was there, too o_O; just how old were these people? i will never know... so yeah, we had a class together, and that class was doing a bigass assignment, so we were all assigned different groups on different days. one of those days i went to his house, and we ended up watching tv with his cat. i started feeling like something wasn't right, and then got all these flashbacks of what happened in real life with dahoon, and it hit me like a truck that this wasn't the guy i was supposed to be with o_O; i wasn't in high school anymore, and i wasn't supposed to be in toga; thas when i dashed outta there and looked for dahoon, i have no idea how, but that part was really confusing with just a series of jumbled up images and voices. somewhere around then i think i woke up.
so it was still dark and i felt really weak, dizzy, and shaky. not cool... it's that feeling you get when you're uber sick with some virus and you sleep for 12+ hours and try to get up to go to the bathroom. but you can't stand straight or anything cuz your head's spinning. maa... it was only 6something in the morning, right? i only got 4-5 hours or so, shouldn't have been too weird for me to feel like this. went to get a drink, and when i came back up, i noticed my parents' room door open. .............. which was weird cuz when i went to sleep, it was closed. i thought to myself "where the hell did they go at this time of night????" maa ikka... thought might as well try fixing the net now. i looked at my computer clock. 6:23pm. ....... PM?!?!??!? then i noticed aim had connected. dahoon's on~~~~~ T_T <-- tears of relief. then i asked "what time is it?" "6:25 pm" ............... PM!?!!?!!?! i slept for.... 15 hours!?! that would explain the weakness and lighting and parents not being home. =_= duh. then i got to wondering what could've possibly made me sleep for that long =_= and i still wonder....
~ Saturday, January 31, 2004 ~ 01:35 a.m. ~
what the fuck am i doing? this whole trip to norcal happened cuz i wanted to see michelle and dahoon, and just be home for a while, and the sjsu letter just happened to come the day before i left so taking care of school stuff was just added onto my list of things to do. ok, that's all fine and dandy, i finished what i needed to get done and now it's the school's turn to do their part. well... they haven't been doing it for 2 weeks now. i don't know what happened. my revised transcript (which was a bitch to get done) was supposed to be scanned by now, but they say it hasn't been, and classes already started yesterday. YESTERDAY. i'm told NOW that "they shouldn't have said your file was completed in the first place because that one part was missing" and until the documents get to a certain someone's desk, i can't do anything about what they're doing with my shit. w.......tf.....
so for the first time in.... who knows how long, i'm stressing out about what i'm gunna do with my life, which is currently going nowhere. guess i gotta step on the gas harder and mebe run a few things over. i hate this nocturnal pattern of life i've fallen into. i mean, it wouldn't be so bad if i had something like nightclasses to go to, or work, but dood... this is not the way to live life. i'm getting that ultra restless feeling that won't let me sleep, and by the time i'm worn from stress or what not, it's not even noon before i pass out and wake up again around 5pm. at times like this i wish i'd be fine with only 2-3 hours of sleep...
"so what have you been doing for the past... month?" well... lots of watching anime/movies, ro, being around people i love? it's pure heavenly bliss. for the first week or two. after that i get restless and find myself wanting to go to school. i'll enjoy tests and projects for a while. someone shoot me if i become too happy about doing them. discontent with life, i am. i'm getting nothing done here. going back down to socal either sunday evening or monday morning. we'll just see what happens from there.
~ Friday, January 23, 2004 ~ 08:28 p.m. ~
first off, HAPPY BIRTHDAY PHIIIIIIII!!!!! don't worry, you're not old just yet XD ::petpet::
gah....... it's been a long week that just went by as fast as it was long. eh..... did that make sense...? at any rate, good times, good times~ been filling my head with naruto by night, sleep and chill by day, stick a random trip or two to svgl in there, and voila! michelle's place has become my second hooome~~ whether she likes it or not >D she cut her hair X3 as did i =_= and i helped her dye her hair to a slightly reddish color that was actually meant to be light brown, but it turned out alllllll good~ <3 KAWAIIIIIIIIIII!! NIAU NIAU!!
i still dunno when i'm gunna be going back down to socal, and at this point, i don't want to go back to a house where the parents have no faith in anything you're trying to do. and that woman wonders why i don't pick up the phone... maa... as long as i'm up here, i'm happy :3
~ Sunday, January 18, 2004 ~ 01:10 p.m. ~
a long week with much happeninged~ sjsu stuff continues as they take their sweet time with apps... it wouldn't be nearly so bad doing all that stuff if my mom didn't call everyday to find out what i did about it, which would be the same thing as what i told her the day before. i dunno what she wants from me - she yells and threatens to kick me outta the house if i don't get in, and lectures me as if i'm not trying to get into the school. after telling her there's nothing more i can do at this point but to just wait on it and keep checking, she says i have an attitude and yells at me about being a bitch and then hangs up on me. well, what the fuck. i'm' starting to get the feeling that my sole purpose for getting into this school is to just get away from HER.
ok on happier events~ in a nutshell~ not in any order~
= KYAHAHHAHAA michelle's playing RO again! XD and she LIKES IT! i shall -KICK- your booty in pvp! >D let's go!
= new project! hi<3mi<3tsu<3~
= i have a new pitas layout coming! er... well.. the focus sketch is done, i just gotta... make the rest of the layout... yeah ._. i have no tablet.. or scanner for that matter...
= hung out with kevin! :D it's been sooo long since we chilled together~ twas great catching up X3
= went to see my grandparents~ couldn't stay long, but it was a lot of fun~ they say my korean got better *_*
= i finally got a photo album! XD too bad all my pictures are in socal......;;;
= went to svgl a few times with michelle and bryant~ XD saw some familiar faces, even more unfamiliar ones... BUT it was fun XD air hockey will always be a traditional must-play when i go there :3 i don't think i'll be touching ddr again =_=;;
i had this dream last night that i had to save these two people from being captured, and in order to do that i needed these 2 hugeass marble things that were in another dream i had o_O; after that adventure (i ended up saving them, woot!) i was at a family get-together, only... it wasn't family.. but they were in my dream! and i said goodbye to them, and it was raining and really foggy outside and driving was hard... i felt my whole body spazzy-twitch as i woke up, and i realized it was only a dream. felt realistic though.... o_O;
~ Tuesday, January 13, 2004 ~ 09:49 p.m. ~
aa... falling into that mellowed out state that noone likes me in. school stuff is coming along slowly and i'm getting really frustrated/impatient for things to turn up cuz i fuckin want to know what classes i'll be taking, assuming i can even take any! this is gay.
michelle and i woke up and we went out to get her some yarn for her unhealthy obsession. went to the mall to try returning something, but forever21 has gay policies so i gotta try doing something to my shirt to make it look right. dropped off some film at longs, and then went to jack's so michelle could drop off her xmas present to him. i really quieted down at that point. when we got back, a spaghetti dinner was waiting and twas gooood <3 i got to play pool with michelle in her garage! :D lost both times, but hey, it was all worth it just watching her trip over the same 2 things over and over >D bryant's over now. and him and michelle are in the living room watching 24. i'm enjoying my alone time.
i miss you...
~ Sunday, January 11, 2004 ~ 12:20 p.m. ~
gu-mo-nin!!!! thinking back on the past week i must say~ MICHELLE BEIBI I LOVE YOU! XD and yesh dahoon, i love you, too~ <3 but yeah, much bonding got done as jello and i went all over the county getting stuff done as well as just veggin out and playing video games~ i think i screamed more playing mario than i did in fatal frame 2 o_o; and UBER LOVE to the scarf you gave me!!! XD XD XD i shall call him squishy and he will be my squishy and he shall be mine~ jk X3 but yesh, a very fulfilling week <3 <3
since coming back to santa cruz friday night, life pace seems to have slowed down a tad. just veggin at the dorms, cafes, or what nots, it's nice~ friday night dahoon and i went out to get foods, and then watched battle royale 2 when we got back. sequels really aren't as good as the original =_= they dragged on the gunfights too long. tonight i'm thinking mebe we watch some more ayashi no ceres? :D
so yeah, yesterday we had a really late lunch at 4.. or something..? and then went into cupertino/sj area. went to shorinji to pick up some pics from shino, but ended up getting pics from heidi instead, iei!! monterey bay aquarium pics! XD i got scared cuz there were so many of me o_o;; nde.. our plans for a cheesecake factory dinner went to shizzy when they said the wait would be 1.5-2 hours long. no thanks. some of us are starving. we quested for a cafe or something in the mall, but being the easily sidetracked people we (michelle and me) are, we headed into sharper image and marvelled at the inventions that had to make me wonder "just how bored were the people who made these?"
the mall was closing and we still hadn't even started looking for a place to eat, so we met with heidi and went across the street to blowfish, a japanese restaurant. where the entrees were $20. noooooo thanks. then we headed even further down the street to ihop~! wowwww i hadn't had pancakes since the last time mihbr got together at michelle's house o_o a very very long time ago. so yeah.. we finished the night at that, and now i'm back in sc.
i'll be in norcal for a while longer. not sure how much longer, but when i do go back to socal, it'll most likely just be for a weekend before i come back up again :3 ufufu~ i look forward to raiding michelle's place again >D
~ Thursday, January 8, 2004 ~ 10:40 p.m. ~
signing on from cupertino at my michelle's house~ we're taking a little veg/planning break from the current direction our together time is taking us. up to this point i spent 2 loverly days in santa cruz with dahoon when i got here, and we chilled, went to town and shopped stuff in cupertino/san jose~ twas funness~
nde, i trekked down to cupertino on monday morning, awoke michelle from her death-like slumber, and we headed out~! the past few days have been a blur of playing truth/dare jenga one on one, driving around taking care of some of my school stuff, meeting with bryant at svgl, playing much much fatal frame 2 with michelle pekkle jack and jeff (which btw, made me scream more than anything in my life and took off a good 234098 lives off me), watch movie with rene and phi at michelle's house, and it was kinda sorta like mukashi no days again~
tomorrow evening i head back to santa cruz till sunday afternoon~ <3
~ Friday, January 2, 2004 ~ 11:58 p.m. ~
short update. i have this song in my head by amano tsukiko singing "chou". it's the ending song for fatal frame 2. i like it a lot :D
my brother came down for new years. i'm taking him back up to saratoga as i take dahoon up to santa cruz. yesterday we went out to dinner with my parents, and today the two of us went to bh/LA to chill with the guys :D went to wako for lunch, migrated from galleria to bundy's to corner bakery cafe and back to bundy's. i'm glad he had a good time~ they all got along quite well. john, my brother's quite fond of you :3 lol
tonight i must sleep to get up early to drive my ass and 2 others up to norcal.. i'm still debating on whether or not i should take my computer. again. ::fuaaaa::
~ Wednesday, December 31, 2003 ~ 03:08 p.m. ~
i've made plans to go to norcal on the 3rd, stay in santa cruz till the 5th, in which i'll be invading someone's house till the 11th when i come back to socal. so let's all play!!! pekkle! michelle! jack! let's play fatal frame! XD XD XD i still have yet to touch it :3
i'm starving. but dahoon and john are playing chaos legion. mebe i'll just go to jamba juice real quick or something =_=;; once again, i'm getting that odd feeling of knowing my way around beverly hills better than fullerton.... sigh...
writing in the mood i'm in right now prolly isn't the best idea, but it's the only time i've actually felt like writing for a long time. lately i haven't been able to draw, write, design layouts, watch anime, or do anything i'd usually do to keep my creativity from rusting over too badly. lord only knows why it works out like that... and there's so much i want to let people know and i dunno where to start.
school's something that's important, everyone knows it though some refuse to admit it. i didn't accept it till junior year of high school, and even then by the time i had started getting my act together, it was too late. high school was finished. graduated in '02, had no school since, and we're moving on to '04, still no school. i'm honestly starting to miss it. when i look back on high school studies, i had fun though at the time i didn't think so, and at this point i'll gladly do the homework, projects, and study for tests. that is, if i can still get in. the letter from sjsu this morning marked the start of a crappy day. i guess they didn't recognize the art class i took at monta vista so i was rejected. i'm gunna do everything i can to get in this semester when i go up in a few days. so yeh.. i was stressing over that the whole day.
i was allowed some thinking/breathing time when i arrived at my usual beverly hills destination this afternoon, so i made a couple phone calls. holding stress in was never so suffocating. acting like everything was ok was never so nerve-wracking. however, slowly, i started to get my mind off school and began to relax. random moments of the giggles and fooding were the highlights of my day. and just as i was starting to feel good, mom calls and makes the day go down the drain again. i threw the phone and cried. at that moment i was really glad there was noone else around like a few minutes earlier, and that the only other person there was a really heavy sleeper. and since he was sleeping, i decided i'd just go back to the house. called michelle, and vented the whole thing out to her, which took a good... half hour or something like that.... and i felt a lot better after talking to her. thanks so much beb <3
so as i was driving home i felt some sort of heartache, and i realized that i really really missed my akg people. i had the urge to spend hours and hours just catching up cuz i haven't been keeping in touch with people since..... i dunno..... since before i moved or something. i'm pretty pissed at myself for neglecting my friends, and if i could, i'd jump myself in a dark alleyway and leave my broken body for the bums and druggies to harrass. i can't balance important things, like friends, work, dahoon, family, and school, and i'm gunna force myself to even things out once school starts.
since i have a tendancy to poison any cheerful atmosphere with my glum disposition, i'll stop the day there and bring out the happy stuff. when i wake up again it'll be a new year, and people will be promising to change or what not. i know a couple people who plan on taking action the first chance they get ^_~ good luck with that~ as for me... new years resolutions never stuck, so i'm not even gunna make a list. but i do hope that i'll at least mentally mature to my own age and see something promising in my future :3
~ Monday, December 29, 2003 ~ 10:03 p.m. ~
mmmmm... i'm in beverly hills and i have "chaos legion" being played behind me with 3 guys watching while 1 guy plays. i feel at peace. tis quite nice.
i was reading through my old pitas entries from back in '01, and i was thinking ".... my entries from back then have more substance than they do now...;;;" ...and i was thinking how if i were reading someone else's blog who sounded like that, i'd think "..i don't like this girl". i can almost see the immaturity dripping off the monitor. i dun think i've improved much in that department, though... mmmmm... i'm in beverly hills and i have "chaos legion" being played behind me with 3 guys watching while 1 guy plays. i feel at peace. tis quite nice. i was reading through my old pitas entries from back in '01, and i was thinking ".... my entries from back then have more substance than they do now...;;;" ...and i was thinking how if i were reading someone else's blog who sounded like that, i'd think "..i don't like this girl". i can almost see the immaturity dripping off the monitor. i dun think i've improved much in that department, though...
i think i'll be going up to norcal soon. perhaps this coming weekend. spend a couple days in santa cruz and then nest myself in cupertino somewhere for a few days to catch up with peoples :3 tha'd be niiiice~ i think i'll be going up to norcal soon. perhaps this coming weekend. spend a couple days in santa cruz and then nest myself in cupertino somewhere for a few days to catch up with peoples :3 tha'd be niiiice~
~ Sunday, December 28, 2003 ~ 10:28 a.m. ~
good morning~ i remember the other night's dream, but not last night's. the other night had the same beach i always dream of when there's an ocean in my dreams. odd, isn't it? there's always a really mysterious feeling to it... makes me want to write a theme for it, but piano alone just won't get the mood across. chikishou. anyway, i stole this from sean, who apparently stole it from heidi ^^;;
1. your full name: mirae *bleep* cha
2. your name backwards: you spell it out.
3. nicknames: lee for anyone who can't remember my real name. other than that there are no other names i'm called.
4. best friend: hmm... i'd say michelle and heidi~
5. longest friend: steph~ <3
6. funniest friend: michelle ::chuu::
7. dumbest friend: there are many definitions for dumb ;;;
8. youngest friend: hmmmmmm..... i'm thinking phi...
9. cutest friend: phi's still sho kyoot X3
10. loudest friend: o_O; prolly john... and jason if he's in the mood....;;;;;
11. shyest friend: nnn... jason? ^^;;;
12. who do you get advice from: lately... noone
*****On Yourself*****
13. hair color: black/dk brown
14. sex: female
15. height: 5'5"
16. date of birth: march 5, 1984
17. sign: pisces
18. righty/lefty: lefty on mouse, righty on everything else.
19. eye color: dark brown
20. shoe size: 8-9
21. favorite color: blue
22. have you cracked any body part?: knuckles, back, neck, knees, shoulders.....;;;;; it's so bad for me x_X; i can see my arthritis now
23. favorite candy bar: twix...? mebe 3 musketeers..?
24. siblings: brother of 17
25. favorite movie: i never have a favorite movie. been watching a lot lately though :3 like dark city, requiem for a dream, friend, pirates of the carribean
26. screen name: kanojochan
27. boyfriend/girlfriend: dahoon me boyfriend :D
28. do you like anyone?: uh... previous question
29. who?: 2 questions up
30. how long have you liked them?: =_= since may, ok?!?
*****Have You Ever*****
31. got in a fight: yeah
32. liked a teacher: no
33. killed someone: not yet
34. laughed so hard you peed your pants: o_O; no. almost though ^^;
35. ate a tub of ice cream in one day?: ah gahd no
36. ran into a glass door: and broke it... good thing boss liked me x_X;
37. gotten hit by a car: nope. had many many close encounters, though....;;
38. ran into a car: no accidents as of yet :3
*****Which One is Better*****
39. coke/pepsi: pepsi
40: taco bell/mcdonald's: if only taco bell had fries...
41. cats/dogs: cats- tigers :3, dogs- i love em! XD
42. coffee/tea: some cream and many lumps of sugar. tea, i love :3
43. sweet/sour: amai :D
44. chocolate milk/hot chocolate: depends on the weather :3
45. vanilla/chocolate: chocooooooooooooooo
46. cake/cookies: KEEKI!!!
47. ice hockey/roller hockey: both! XD XD
48. day/night: i be night person. light is evil.
49. ocean/pool: oceannnnnnnnnnnnn *_*
50. summer/spring: spring! summer is too hot! i die in summer!
51. winter/fall: fall's so prettyyyyy *_* winter's nice cuz you have an excuse to cuddle :D "it's cold~" "no it's not, the heater's on" "....it's cold!"
*****Your Favorite*****
52. food: japanese, korean, italian
53. car: ....cars are cars... =_= dun care for them
54. store: dun like shopping, though i DO like it when i'm looking for something specific.
55. candy: chocolate truffles *_*
56. restaurant: any place with GOOD sushi, cheesecake factory, bcd, bcd, bcd...
57. sport: lately i've been wanting to snowboard... ;_; other than that, basketball, volleyball, soccer :3
58. number: 4. 9.
59. tv show: dun watch tv.
60. movie: wasn't this asked already?
61. drink: strawberry lemonade at islands, kern's fruit nectars :3
62. animal: tiger X3
63. holiday: christmas :3
64. quote: ...hmm... shiranai :3
65. band/singer: utada hikaru, boa, koda kumi, boyz 2 men, linkin park, jay chou.....
66. love song: wadafa...?? there are a lot!
67. scent: acqua di gio when you can just barely smell it *_* it's like a tease~
68. book: i dun read
69. radio station: no radio for me
70. place: anywhere with dahoon
*****Future*****
71. who's going to be by your side: dahoon's kinda stuck with me for life so i think it's safe to assume it'll be him
72. where are you going to live: this one.... i gotta talk about with him.....;;;
73. how many kids: NONE. till at least 30.
74. name for boys: there were a few i said i liked, but i dun remember them ^^;;;
75. name for girls: kyrie's pretty :3 again, i can't remember the others... mebe i should write these down? x_X;
76. any pets?: a tiger, a fox, and a st bernard :D
77. career: mangakaaa *_* or chara designer for game XD
*****Random*****
78. define love: O_O;;; ummm... it hurts so much you want to cry, yet so blissful it's like a drug, lets you be yourself, makes you comfortable and secure... it's a commitment
79. what's your wife/husband going to look like?: um... not ugly =_=
80. what are you wearing right now: scrubby clothes
81. meaning of your screen name: learn japanese. then you'll know.
82. where you were born: san francisco, ca
83. favorite friend of the opposite gender: i have... a lot of friends of the opposite gender.... o_o;
84. favorite friend of your gender: my girls, there are only 4
85. favorite place to be kissed: lips, cheek, neck, depending on the mood....? :3
86. favorite day of the week: until school, everyday is a saturday~
87. who was the last person you received mail from: cingular. twas a bill.
88. who was the last person you talked to online: o_O; uhmm.... OH! my brother~ just a few minutes ago. hahhaha!
89. hottest person you know: he's currently in my possession >D
~ Thursday, December 25, 2003 ~ 09:57 p.m. ~
i thought i'd blog before christmas was officially over. speaking of which
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!
i ended up not going to sacramento for xmas, which is a first.... but wasn't all that bad cuz i got to spend some time with dahoon :3 it was weird how to the guys, it's just another day. not used to it ^^;; but it was fun~ just veged out most of the day. i learned how to play chess :3 kinda..... first time playing, i died a slow miserable death cuz dahoon's just... sadistic like that... ;_; but yes... i came home early and played some piano. dad came up with lyrics to "teardrops" from 'ah my goddess' and had me play it on piano while he sang it for my mom. sounds sweet, but it was hard for me cuz i had someone singing really loud next to me off tempo and i knew i was being watched... can't play when i know someone's watching ;_;
all in all, it was a fun christmas~ as for norcal.... i dunno when i'm going up yet >_<
~ Wednesday, December 24, 2003 ~ 09:32 a.m. ~
i woke up thinking "oh it's getting pretty late, i wonder when we're going to sacramento" so i got up to get dressed and pack a few things and stuff like that. well... there was a note at my door that said "no sacramento today sorry dad did not want to go". ................. i didn't know what to say or think. however, i felt a surge of frustration since these people seriously couldn't make up their minds. why didn't mom just go anyway?? grandma's getting more depressed cuz she hasn't seen mom since we moved despite the fact that 3 of my other aunts plus 2 uncles are near her, she misses jinho and everyone else, why's she letting the fact that dad doesn't want to go keep her from going after trying so hard to get the 26th off from work???? goddamn. well.... if they say "let's go" anytime today, i'm just gunna say "fuck it, go yourself if you even decide to go by the time you're out the door".
~ Tuesday, December 23, 2003 ~ 10:32 a.m. ~
the days go by so slowly yet so quickly... it feels like just yesterday i was at work saying "o_O; omg??? xmas is in 10 days?!" and even then i was thinking wtf it's already december?! o_O; i look at my calendar now and xmas is in 2 days. i don't feel the rushed excitement i used to feel all the past years. and i gotta get presents sent out since i won't be able to go up norcal to give to people... ::sob:: pretty bummed out about that... even more bummed out about the 8-5 work shift on the 26th. however, looking on the bright side, dahoon's down here, and i will hopefully be able to spend some time with him assuming his family isnt doing anything and mine doesn't flip out about my staying home. i wonder what jinho's doing this year.....?
the 29th is officially my last day of work. WOOOOT!!! now, i gotta wonder, was it really worth it to work at nordstrom and stay with my parents in socal trying to save money when i could've gone north and worked at hallmark and lived with heidi through the winter? no. it wasn't worth it. the pay at nordstroms doesn't do jack shit for you unless you sell a lot of merchandise, and i still can't do that very well. i haven't been able to save much money at all, cuz i get paid commission only, which is about 3% of what i sell. i averaged about 1.3k a day. thas about $40 before taxes. not happy. hallmark gives me more =_=## so i can't wait to go back where it's more laid back, the pay's better, and i can wear practically anything. oooh yes... much better...
..... i went to say hi to mom at work on my lunch break, and she tells me that we're actually gunna go to norcal tomorrow morning and come back on the 26th. which is nice, cuz i get to go up and breathe and see relatives and stuffs. however, i don't get to see my loverlys in cupertino ;_; there's no way my parents are gunna stop there when they're so close to sacramento. ..... close compared to socal. gawr... oh, and boss worked with my schedule and today was my last day of work~! naisu~ now what to do for new years... >D
~ Sunday, December 21, 2003 ~ 11:36 a.m. ~
it turns out that i won't be going up to norcal for xmas. cuz i have work at 8am the morning after. and... there's no point if you have to leave early and spend the better part of the day driving. i wonder what i'll be doing that day? but yes.. i now have a new nekkid naru scroll hanging on my wall, as well as a (clothed) kamui~ courtesy of my dahoon~ after today, just 4 more days of work... just 4..... i'm really not enjoying my work if you can't tell already. gah my next paycheck's gunna be so friggin small cuz of all the returns.... sob..... working on commission alone is quite painful...
~ Thursday, December 18, 2003 ~ 10:12 p.m. ~
i was listening to a girl tell me about her fiance and married ex... and it made me think "wtf is this girl doing?!" cuz she's engaged to a great guy while still having feelings for some other dood she knew in college. going outta state to see him, him coming down to see her, and all the while her fiance doesn't know what's really going on. i feel so sorry for the guy. and i don't understand the girl... saying she knows it's bad, but to her it's ok, how as long as nothing happens it'll be ok. looked like the line was drawn at fucking. i wanna smack her and tell her to get things straight, cuz seems to me she's totally taking advantage of her fiance's kindness/understanding, saying shit like "yeah, i wanna enjoy the time i have with my ex cuz i still love him so much, and i know my fiance loves me and i know noone will ever love me as much as he does, and i still have the rest of my life to love him" etc etc. so.. basically.. she's saying she'll learn to love him. girls like that piss me off. goddamn.
on a happier not so pissy note, i got to talk to a lady who helped me out way back when i first started working there during the sale. i always liked her, but today when i asked her opinion, it made me like her a lot more, and i felt better about my work situation. she's an artist, too~ only a different kind - she makes stuff outta glass XD my cursed element, but i still love it :3 i bought one of her works today, a piece of jewelry and i'm in love with it :3
i got my xmas shopping started today after i got home from work. one down, 4 more to go.
~ Wednesday, December 17, 2003 ~ 04:41 p.m. ~
i went out with dahoon jim aaron and met isaac yesterday. met up at islands, and then proceeded to migrate over to aaron's hugeass house and play ggxx for who knows how long. things were getting better when we split up, went out for boba, and then met up again to see 'last samurai', which i must say, was a very good movie! a looong 2 hours, but definitely worth seeing :3 normally hearing japanese spoken really badly would make me cringe, but the way it was done in the movie made me think "aww how cute~" lol!!! but yes... twas quite a good time~
"things are not looking pretty for our hero" - dahoon, as he was getting ass-kicked in ggxx
~ Tuesday, December 16, 2003 ~ 09:07 a.m. ~
dahoon bundy jason and i went to watch gothika last night. pan and john told us we'd pee our pants. and i had such high expectations, too... but once again, a disappointment ;_; it was almost exactly like what lies beneath, and i liked that one better =_=
~ Sunday, December 14, 2003 ~ 08:33 p.m. ~
hello hello all. i'm thinking that working at nordstrom isn't really my cup of tea. i'm quickly getting to the phase it took me 2 years to get to at mitsu. the i-really-wanna-quit phase and the only reason i'm not is cuz i only have a little time left before i have to quit anyways, might as well just ride the whole thing through -_-;; i really like chris, she's prolly 1 out of 2 people i can be comfortable around, and she's really sweet. i found myself waiting for her to get back from lunch cuz i felt better knowing she was around x_X;; doris would be the other lady i like. outgoing, very nice :3 but i dun wanna work in a place where i can't be comfortable wearing what i wear and where other coworkers seem so fake. plus i have a script for any given situation. really monotonous. basics:
= new face: hi, how are you doing? is there anything i can help you find today?
= if they say no: ok, well let us know if you need anything~
= customer looks at something: that color/style would go well with -insert something here-
= "i'm looking for -blank-": ok we have something like that here, and may i suggest -blank- it would complement something like -refer to customer's blank- very nicely~
= "do you have this in a -size/color-?": ::look through relevant racks:: yes we do, here's one~ (in the case you don't have -size/color-) it's not out here, but i could check the back for you if you'd like~
= if you just don't have it anymore: we don't have any left in this store but i could call another store for you and have it transferred over, and you can come pick it up then~ or we can send it directly to your house free of charge~
= customer holding stuff: would you like to get a fitting room started? could i have your name please? -name-, ok, my name is lee, i'll be right back to tell you what room you're in~
= checking on customer in fitting room: -name-, this is lee, how are the sizes working out? is there anything i can bring you?
= if opinion is asked: (if it's good) i like it! i like the -unique point- but does it fit comfortably? (if it could be better) mmm, you know what? i like -blank-, but i think that other one did better, it doesn't look as -blank- as this one.
= at the register: will this be all for you? ok, your total comes to -price- ::receipt handling, shanking, bagging:: here you go -name- thank you very much, you have a great day now~
= any requests made by customer: not a problem~ i'll be right back/i'll find out for you~
yes... we nordstrom employees are basically slaves to anyone who comes through the doors =_= ::sigh::
~ Saturday, December 13, 2003 ~ 12:33 a.m. ~
.... so i got up, got dressed, put on my makeup, and got my uncomfortable ass to work. to find that boss had changed my schedule, and i could take the day off. thanks for telling me ahead of time -_- i would've slept in. or even stayed an extra day in sc. BUT! i am not complaining for it was good news for me, and i could go play! XD
it was like summer vacation again~! one of the best days i've had in a loooong time. went to see dahoon, invaded bundy's, and just chillax with dahoon bundy jason john, we went out to eat, infested bundy's room again, went back out for dinner, plopped ourselves into lollicup, stuff like that :3 had gooood laughs, i think i got my exercise for the week just from laughing ^^; every place we went to, we loitered right outside for at least an hour or so - even at bundy's house ^^; pan came by! XD it's been so long since i saw everyone, twas great times.
::much time passes:: yah i was just on the phone with me beloved and...... i feel really good right now. thank you honey ^3^/ ::chuuuuuuuu<3<3<3:: i love you so much <3
~ Thursday, December 11, 2003 ~ 11:59 p.m. ~
i spent mon-thu in santa cruz. it was all fun and games, and i got much much out of it and so glad i went. plus i got a bonus - dahoon came down to socal with me for winter break, so i didn't have to ride back alone! ieeeiiii~~ the trip did a lot of good for me, and i came to realize a lot of things about myself and other people. but yes, i'm very tired from dtiving and stuff so i shall go catch some zzzz since i have work 11-8. saturday will be 12-9... gah....
~ Wednesday, December 10, 2003 ~ 03:34 a.m. ~
i used to think i was a low maintenance girlfriend.
i came to the realization that i'm so not.
~ Saturday, December 6, 2003 ~ 10:01 p.m. ~
when i woke up at 9 i thought to myself ".....it's gunna be a loooong day...." and turns out it was. started my rag today and cramps got bad till about the middle of work shift which started at 1. felt better after lunch, which was around 4 or so. it's really weird having people call me lee... why lee? cuz it's my middle name and easier for customers to remember, so if they need to find me, they won't have a hard time remembering something like mirae. in which case i'd have about 3049723498 different pronounciations come up for, and noone'll be able to identify me. you can't go wrong with lee ::nodnod:: i closed for the first time and it was quiet, but tiring. i'd definitely prefer opening and just leaving earlier in the day. makes me feel like i get more done. somehow. wakaran.
driving back to the house i was thinking... when it comes to things you don't like that happen on a regular basis, you just gotta take the beatings, and eventually, hopefully, you'll become numb to the pain. doesn't mean you'll be void of scars, though. you just won't notice their inflictions till later i guess... i dunno did that make sense...??
you know... RO should have a bank so it'd be easier to transfer money to chara on the same account. like kafras could be their own banks or something. that way i could put money into my merch from my priest without asking someone to hold it for me while i got my other chara. that would be a good system, un un ::nodnod::
~ Thursday, December 4, 2003 ~ 07:54 a.m. ~
i'm guessing it doesn't matter what time i sleep, i'll still wake up around 8....?? gahd i never thought i'd be the early to rise type. wtf.... well since i'm waking up naturally i guess it's ok? even though i still feel tired, i can't get back to sleep. annoyiiiiiiing... and i have work at 11... man what am i gunna wear today...? =_=;; it's at times like this i wish i had dressed a bit more feminine in hs with a bigger collection of skirts and blouses instead of baggy pants and tshirts... hauuu.. must find something...
k so on a different note, i spent much of yesterday updating ocha, so there's a new layout and stuff. still really simple and ughly and quite half-assed, but at least it's different.
man.... i fuckin hate long distance relationships. why's it have to be so hard?
....... i think.... i have a new found hatred for working during sales. i mean at times it can be fun, but only when you don't have literally dozens of things piling up constantly, and there are people everywhere and all your coworkers are so busy that when you need to ask about something, noone can help you and that holds you back and sometimes customers are impatient =_= so far.... every job that i have worked, i've started right as a sale did. which always means lots of people. which means busy busy. which means NOT GOOD for noobs, DAMMIT! so many new situations popping up, and i have limited energy on which my feet can walk around in with those kinda shoes and dresses and skirts and shit, man. well... i guess it's ok cuz most of the people were like "o_O you don't know how to do ______??" and i'm like "^^;;;; well i just started working here so i don't really know how everything's done" and they're like "O_O!! really??? you're new??? you're doing a great job!" and that makes me feel good :3 i'm starting to get the hang of things though. tis a good thing ::nodnod:: i am tired, hungry, very thirsty, so i shall go clean up, eat, and RO for as long as my fatigue holds out for tomorrow is my day off and i'd like to sleep in. however late that may be =_=;;;
~ Monday, December 1, 2003 ~ 06:03 p.m. ~
i think the most horrible things to me come from my own subconscious. mebe it was cuz i slept early. and had seafood for dinner. i dunno. but i think i have a new fear and that would be any insect carrying larvae. why say this, you ask? cuz there was this fatass pastelly blue ant about an inch long, and it was carrying a smaller ant, which was disgustingly white and semi transparent, quite motionless but not dead, and it was traveling in my room which was apparently my room back in campbell, and dahoon was there;;; and so i was like ew i don't think i like that shade of blue anymore, and i tried to smash it with something but it just bounced right back up, and all of a sudden it sprouted WINGS AND IT FLEW AT MY FACE AND LAISJF KJGLSJF ;LSKFJ OMG IT WAS SO GROSS and i smacked it away and it lost its wings and landed on my desk, but friggin a THERE WERE 2 NOW, and one went to the larvae thing that was dropped and it didn't proceed to take it to its destination, BUT STARTED EATING IT REALLY FAST AWOMGPASI GFNSALKFKJ;REWOMG so i freaked out and left the room and there was this other guy, who agreed to be a slave of the other huge blue ant thing that survived and turned brown, WHICH grew to about SIX inches and had intentions on taking over the world, so i caught it in a jar! hahHAH! no, not so hahhah. cuz the jar didn't have a lid, so it was only over it. it forced its thoughts into my brain and i could hear what it was thinking and it was like the rape of the mind... and DOOD WTF there were little minion creatures appearing from underneath it, and they started to CRAWL UNDER THE JAR which i was already PRESSING INTO THE CARPET with all my weight, and then!!! .....the jar broke. =_= but they couldn't climb up the sides thank god...... x_X;;; soaijf s;eli;ekffffffff FRIGGIGN SFI AS;LFJS;LFKJ;L SO! in coherent words.... it was really gross.
there was a different part that involved my running around a huge hotel which i saw in my other dreams, the one where a whole side is all glass with elevators that could go diagonally.....;; but yeh i was on another quest to find someone/thing. that one was fun, but i can't really remember it anymore. dahoon was in that one, too.
i just got home from work. my feet are quite tired, but considering i was wearing strappy heels the whole day and running around more than i did during the half yearly sale, i'm feeling quite well. makeup makes such a difference in looking alive x_X;;; i dun think i realize just how dead i looked without it. or something. for once, i didn't feel underdressed. twas great.
~ Sunday, November 30, 2003 ~ 09:25 p.m. ~
naturally waking up on your own waaaay before you really need to makes your start of the day a lot nicer. today it was 8am. i didnt need to wake up till 10. twas quite nice. but what wasn't so nice was how i couldn't find any pants decent enough to wear to work, and being in sales makes the dress code a little harder to abide by when you don't have anything but either casual or formal x_X; for instance, i cannot wear comfortable shoes anymore. my kagura boots were acceptable, and they didn't feel too bad, but i can't wear them with skirts. speaking of which, i need some. i got one today, black, a little above the knees, and i think i'll prolly alter it a bit cuz the flare's a bit much for me x_X; also got some khakis with buckle thingies and pockets and ties XD XD, and some dressy shoes that might be comfy enough for work. it was employee shop night, so i got 30% off everything, which brought the total to about $60. quite nice considering it would've been somewhere around $110 full price. i like sales and discounts :3
after work i went out to dinner with mom. since we had something in common this time (working for the same company), i had something to talk about, like handling customers, fellow employees, etc etc. watching peoples' reactions when they're told "she's my mom" is quite amusing. it was..... fun. as weird as that feels to say;;
mom says she prolly won't go to sacramento for christmas cuz she might have to work. which i dun mind cuz i don't wanna spend 2 days worth of driving for 1 day of family time. i'm always in my own world there anyway. i do wanna see norcal people though.... ::sigh::
~ Saturday, November 29, 2003 ~ 10:18 a.m. ~
people keep calling me after i've gone to bed already. 2 nights ago i got 3 calls, and last night i got 2. and WTF?! one of them i TOTALLY don't remember!! it was a short call, but DOOD!! RAY!! WHAT DID I SAY WHEN YOU CALLED?????? O_o;;; what'd we talk about??? damn that boy he's almost never online, too...
so anyway..... today would be the day i go to see my baby cousin. its 1st bday. i say it because i dunno if it's a boy or girl. not to mention i haven't seen my uncle since the days i went to church wearing pretty little girl boutique clothes and jump on his back every chance i got. he was also young enough to be my brother or something.
uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....... nm.... mom just came in and told me we're not going cuz he had to work. wtf.... this also just in, i have a message from my temp boss that i need to check. i think i have work.....? both a good and bad thing. good cuz i get money and i'll feel productive. bad cuz if i gotta work a lot mid december, that less time to play with people when they all come home... ::haa:: must learn how to balance work and play.
10:45am edit
.............ok....... so i'm working again o_O; boss wants me to see if i'd be comfortable being a sales agent. i'm fine with that i guess, only problem is professional dress, which i don't really have....;;; and i dunno where the product is cuz they move things around every morning. not to mention i dunno much about how things are supposed to be washed and what not. and names.... oh gahd..;;; ganbareee miraeee ;_;/~
~ Wednesday, November 26, 2003 ~ 07:16 p.m. ~
hokay, so, my past few days in a nutshell.
= took trip to santa cruz on friday afternoon.
= 6 hour drives alone aren't THAT bad..... as long as your mind is running around everywhere...;;
= OMG i finally got to go to the monterey bay aquarium!! haven't been there since.. since..;;; that one time i went with steph....;;
= much play with dahoon and heidi, went to cupertino once for shorinji, spent the rest of the time in sc. oh wait, i went back to tino to get oil changed and get clay...;;;
= developed slight cold virus...;;;
= extended stay by 2 days last minute
= new wakeup call method discovered
= traffic can suck my balls.
much thanks to dahoon and heidi for taking care of me, and michelle, too~ <3 ^_^ everyone have fun in norcal, yesh? :D i'll.....;;; i dunno... go visit my baby cousin ^^;;;;
~ Tuesday, November 18, 2003 ~ 07:28 p.m. ~
Name : mirae
Name Backwards : earim........?
Does your name mean anything? : future
Were you named after anyone? : something like my dad's teacher's daughter or something.... i dun wanna know the story behind that one....
Nick Name(s) : mishi by li, mir by wayne, kanojo by pen, chew by ro
Screen Name(s): kanojochan
Date of birth : 030584
Place of birth : sf, ca
Nationality : korean
Current Location : fullerton, ca
Sign : pisces
Religion : nill
Height : 5'5"
Weight : 140-145ish...
Shoe size : 8.5-9
Hair color : black/brown
Eye color : brown
What do you look like? : not like a tab hopefully...
Innie or Outie? : innie....
Righty, lefty, or ambidextrous? : right
Gay, straight, bi, or other? : straight for now....?
Best friend(s) : akg mihbr
Friend you trust more than anyone : no particular -one-
Best friends {opposite sex} : guys in akg/mihbr and satoshi
Best bud : not gunna pick
Boyfriend/Girlfriend : dahoon
Crush : n/a
Parent(s) : what about them?
Worst Enemy : let's not go there
Favorite on-line guy(s) : eh...? online only?? prolly RO people...
Favorite on-line girl(s): online only, nye
Funniest friend : michelle and kevin
Craziest friend : mmm... prolly jack...? though he's also one of the most sane people i know......;;;;;
Advice friend : depends on the situation
Loudest friend : steph, john
Person you cry with : since when were there designated cry partners?
Any sisters? : no thank god
Any brothers? : yes too bad he's not older
Any pets? : prince my baaaaby~ who is currently barking...;;
A disease? : discontentment
A cell? : i am made of many of them
A personal phone number? : cell
A leather jacket with studs on it? : i don't like leather
A heroin needle? : wtf
A pool or hot tub? : used to ::sob::
A car? : civic
Describe your...
Personality : mood extremes of apathy, depression, euphoria, or what not. take your pic.
Family : dysfunctional
Car or one you want : i like mine...
Room or one you want : i like mine
Shoes : anything. but. heels.
School : i miss it
Bed : full sized with light olive green sheets and 7 layers of blankets. i like my bed.
Relationship with your parent(s) : it'll be good for a rare moment...
Believe in yourself? : i try
Do you believe in loev at first sight? : yes
Consider yourself a good listener? : i dunno... ask my friends
Consider yourself a good friend? : ask them
Save your IM conversations? : deadaim rocks
Pray? : no
Believe in reincarnation? : no
Like to make fun of people? : sometimes if i'm feeling really playful...
Like to talk on the phone? : not particularly
Do you...
Like to drive? : not unless i can go speeding on an open highway to good music
Get motion sickness? : in cars
Eat the stems of broccoli? : i think thas the only part i do eat..
Eat chicken with a fork or fingers? : depends on how it's cooked
Dream in color? : yah
Type with your fingers on the home row? : yah
Sleep with a stuffed animal? : no
What is/are/was...
Right next to you? : my bed to the left, closet to the right
On the walls of your room? : 3 calendars, 1 scroll
On your mouse pad? : i only have a mouse pad if i'm using the computer in bed
Your dream car : something small, fast, and quiet
Your dream date : the kind where dahoon's there
Your dream honeymoon spot : quiet. with beach.
Your dream husband / wife : only 1 person in mind
Your bedtime : dad says before midnight. i say fuck that.
Under your bed : power cords. and carpet.
The single most important question : how come bananas are yellow?
The time : 7:19pm
The date : nov 18, 2003
The weirdest food or drink that you like : shikeh... it takes some getting used to. and how the fuck do you make it?!
Your theme song : utada hikaru - wait and see, if not asap.
The hardest thing about growing up : living up to responsibilities
Your funnest experience : ax2k-2
Your scariest moment : when i'm getting food and it's pitch black and my imagination tells me there's a woman on the other side of the room/hall with long nappy hair wearing a long white nightgown and a mask with a sharp-toothed grin and huge evil eyes that glow yellow coming after me. i will draw it one day and show you just how freaky it is.
The silliest thing you've said : i can't remember....
The funniest or most desperate thing you've done to get the attention of the opposite sex : ...... i think i almost ran over him in the parking lot....;;;;
The craziest thing that's ever happened while with your friend(s) : jack almost crashes into a sign to pass me while we're racing on prospect.... ....speaking of crashing...;;; kevin did run into jack's car on the way to wendy's when this one car swerved in front of jack's car... noone was hurt thank god...
The worst feeling in the world : loneliness
The best feeling in the world : that warm fuzzy feeling you get when you're with your friends and all having a great time and can't help but think "aaaa shiawase da naaa~~"
Your college : uh..... open canvas watching event files of other people.
~ Monday, November 17, 2003 ~ 01:51 p.m. ~
fuwaaaaaaaaa!!! wowww i think i just spent almost a week with akg peoples~!! so many highlights i want to recap over *_* meeeeeeemorieeeeeeeeeees~~~~
= spontaneous akg reunion tuesday afternoon.
= lost a bet that steph was awake. owed phi boba X3
= marukai, kinos, and bookoff, found manga cds and artbooks for FRIGGIN CHEAP and i was in heaven <3 i have a favorite store >D
= phi's car got towed while we were having dinner of karaage and spaghetti <3 DOOD!! they actually COOK!!
= noted kenji's diligence (in everything), steph's deathly addiction to chatting (on ro), kevin's laziness (but he still gets stuff done), and phi hasn't changed much (still cuuuute) :3
= i'm in love with kevin's computer.
= met sid, and paid for boba in quarters.
= AI = cyber zone somewhere else :3
= went to my house to pick up overnight stuff and computer for lan party :3 went back to my house for comp power cord at 3am.
= went on quest to rescue phi's car XD
= cleaned their kitchen XD had more fun than i should have ^^;;
= laughed my ass off watching kevin play ro XD
= CRAZY UPROAR! DO THAT DANCE BABY!!
= steph tripped on my computer, fell over it, and tumbled/rolled onto phi's bed HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA
= phi went north ;_; steph came over XD i raped their harddrives :3
= woke up 5pm, rented videos, got food X3
= ISLANDS!!! tiki tenderrrrrrrrrs *_* laughed my ass off there, too XD
= finished the week with a quiet night in the graveyard and slept early. like 3. sleeping patterns got really screwwwwwed...
so there's my past week in a nutshell ^_^
holy... o_O; i just remembered something... back in 4th or 5th grade i was asked to draw the front cover of the program for a spring concert our school was having... o_O; 6th/7th grade i was asked to draw the cover for a booklet the teachers had to keep with them for a week for some sort of faculty/staff thing... dood.. why am i remembering all this stuff from the past all of a sudden? it's like remembering a completely different lifetime...
~ Saturday, November 15, 2003 ~ 04:40 p.m. ~
i woke up.
::thinks:: wow it's dark... it must be like.. 5am or something... ::looks at clock:: .........4:23....?? PM?!?!!? OMG?! ..................... oh wait... i did go to sleep at like.. 6:30, huh? ........... ::go to wash up::
it's darker now than it was when we went to sleep.
we referring to me and steph.
~ Wednesday, November 12, 2003 ~ 04:38 a.m. ~
i'm definitely having a very good day today. woke up after sleeping well to some nice messages courtesy of dahoon <3 dad got me food from a restaurant he was going to order take out from, and i made a last minute visit to PHI STEPH KENJI AND KEVIN!!!! phi steph and i went to kinos marukai and bookoff. i was in comfortable japanese surroundings again *____*
after dinner back at the apt (which was MAJI UMAI!!! XD) we went to move my car....... when......... phi's car was not where she had left it...... cuz her permit was on my car...... those towing peopl are seriously out to make your life miserable, like they jump at every car they see to check if it has a permit as soon as you get into your house. so we gotta get that taken care of... later on sid picked us up to go to AI :D :D and it had been so long since i had boba and played ddr (which reminded me of just how out of shape i am) *_* it seems like tapioca express doesn't really count as tea anymore cuz it tastes more like milk than anything else. i don't really like it... BUT YESH!! had a great time at AI and life plaza, which had much cheap stuffs :3 i fell in love with some of the jewelry, which prolly wasn't cheap;;; but yes......
on the way to my house to pick up last minute sleepover stuff, i thought it would be fun to lan party with the RO players of this room, which i haven't done yet. my swordie on loki has absolutely no equip and less than 300zeny. got computer, and got it set up when i realized... i don't have the power cord to my hd......;;;; so i drove home to get it. phi came with me as my driving entertainment! XD jk jk~ we did some bonding, which did much good for me :3 now i am sitting here at phi's desk with my harddrive under it and keyboard on my lap XD flat monitor accompanied as well~ today was filled with much laughing and feeling good <3
it's amazing how such a good day can be dampened by an online presence that is usually always there, but is not at this moment. went to bed early i guess.... mya... getting kinda tired from laughing and ddring and stuffs =____= but it's a nice kinda tired. i will be sleeping with phi tonight XD brace yourself, darling! for it has been a looooong while~~~~!!! XD XD XD
~ Monday, November 10, 2003 ~ 10:42 a.m. ~
aaaaa~~~~~~~ been reading blogs for about an hour and now...... it's time to update my own! i got to sleep in! for the past 5 days i woke up at 7:30 to go to work, where you have to be on your feet and running around the whole time. wearing nice clothes while doing it was not fun cuz nice clothes were meant for you to sit down shutup and look pretty in, not move around and get things done. i kinda underdressed so i wore makeup for lack of more professional appearance. i saw myself rushing by the mirror and thought HOLY SHIT I LOOK OLD!! won't even go into how much my feet hurt. let's just say i don't want to walk for the next week. and i have a new passionate hatred for heeled shoes.
today is going to be my otsukaresama day and completely vege out. like i do other days.........;;; but thas not the point! today i'm going to enjoy it a lot more +_+
{1.} What is the first person you ever slept with's middle name? what kinda first question is this?!
{2.} What kind of underwear are you wearing and what color? vs... grey...
{3.) What is the song you want played at your Funeral? inner universe. i dunno.... =_=
{4.} What is the phone number of your sluttiest friend? i don't make friends with sluts
{5.} What would your last meal be before getting executed? buffet consisting of bul gogi, sushi, pasta, and lots of fruit/dessert stuffs.
{6.} Beatles or Stones? wtf?!
{7.} If you had to pick one person on earth who should die, who would it be? the one who made the memories i've been repressing and now they're slowly coming back and i'm hating my middle school life even more.
{8.} The person whose problems you would never want to hear? i listen to anyone
{9.} What is the thing most important to you (as far as physical) about the preferred sex? smilie and general build i guess...? :3
{10.} DO YOU secretly hate some of your friendsters but are too nice to reject them? heh....... ^^;;;;;;;
{11.} If you could have any super power what would it be? flyyyyyyyyy i wanna flyyyyyy <3
{12.} FAVORITE hangover cure? never had one
{13.} How many drinks does it take to get you drunk? never been drunk
{14.} FAVORITE Outkast Lyric? ha?!?
{15.} HAIR COLOR? it's... dk brown with light highlights that are growing out...;;;
{16.} If you had to be blind or deaf? blind...which means i can't look at the ocean anymore?! ;_;
{17.} DO YOU have any psychiatric problems? what do you think?
{18.} SIBLINGS that should go to rehab? ......::sob::
{19.} Least FAVORITE MONTH? july?
{20.} FAVORITE hateful thing to do to someone? ...?
{21.} First movie you can remember seeing as a kid? little mermaid
{22.} FAVORITE person in the whole world? only one???
{23.} When's the last time you went on a date? hmm.... a long time ago....
{24.} DO YOU LIKE violent movies or dirty movies? both?
{25.} FALL OR SPRING? winter.
{26.} Person you most wish you hadn't made out with? eh...
{27.} If you are straight, what person of the same sex would you do it with? MICHELLE COME TO ME BWAHAHAHAHA
{28.} Where do you want to live when you are old and brittle? somewhere by the ocean
{29.} WHO is the person you can count on most? for what?
{30.} If you could date any celebrity past or present, time and age not a factor? i'm not interested in celebrities thanks.
{31.} WHAT BOOKS have you pretended you've read? all the books in high school
{32.} WHAT'S a word you would use to describe your life? faux
{33.} FAVORITE drinking GAME? kings game
{34.} WHAT DID YOU DREAM LAST NIGHT? something about having a pet to take care of..... oh wait no that was last last night... eh... it had something to do with RO and questing and...yeh......
{35.} FAVORITE vices? you mean DEVICES, right??? i like my cell phone :3
{36.} What is the last thing you'd ever tell someone? depends on the person. if it's *beeep* i'd say "i fuckin hate you i hope you fall to the 234987th circle of hell" anyone else... i'd be somewhat pleasant ^_____^
~ Saturday, November 8, 2003 ~ 06:35 p.m. ~
categorize, size, section, take out, categorize, size, section, take out... ::haa:: on your feet all day long, running back and forth carrying loads of clothes that dozens of people have tried on. if it weren't for toni and scott, i prolly would've died by now. toni's really pretty nice girl and in rare moments when it's really quiet, we chill in the dump room and have a few laughs. as for scott, he helps me with all the dump. dump, btw, is clothes that have been tried on and didn't work for the customer so they return it to that little room at the side of the dressing room and us people who work in the back gotta put it back out onto the floor. scott usually does the run-around getting clothes out while i organize everything. ::fuaa:: sales... che...
my feet are detereorating. or they're just getting stronger, either way, it's painful. sitting down never felt so good. ....... you would think that with work, your mind would be busy with things you gotta get done. i catch myself thinking about a lot more than just what i should be doing...... ::haa:: i haven't played piano in a while...
"stress is a useless emotion." -scott
~ Wednesday, November 5, 2003 ~ 04:56 p.m. ~
omfg. pain. in the feet. they have not hurt this much since... since... that night i wore bad shoes at a formal dance. a really long time ago. i feel like i've been playing basketball in really heavy strappy high heels or something. dood, womens' shoes can suck my nonexistent left nut. why make them if you can't walk around in them all day comfortably, HUH?!?!?!?! gahd, females have such pointless things sometimes.
on a happier note! dahoon told me my drawing of chew toy made it as a loading screen!!!! O_O I MUST SEE THIS!! and i got my first paycheck today! XD
.....the next 4 days are going to be extremely loooooong....
~ Monday, November 3, 2003 ~ 11:50 a.m. ~
...........IT'S FUCKIN COLD!!!! i'm wearing socks, jeans, tank top, wool turleneck, and a sweatshirt over that. and i do not wear this much unless it's SNOWING. it's not snowing! that can only mean one thing. i'm sick! woot? no. no woot. for i have an interview tomorrow and a full time job for the next 5 days after that. i will need much dayquil. much hot food is good for you, must find something hot and good for me. souuup...
i woke up feeling dread like "omg.... that did not just happen". it felt kinda real.... which is not a good thing. at first things were ok - i was back at the saratoga house and my room was actually like the room i have right now, and the piano was in here which made me happy cuz i've always kinda wanted the piano in my own room. so i was playing stuff, lalala, and then i'm called to come out so i do. i'm back in high school. iei? and mom's in the hospital cuz she's sick with the flu or something, so i go to see her and my brother says she just died. how? he said she ate something and it apparently had bacteria in it or what not and it made her worse and she died pretty quick. i couldn't help but think mebe he killed her. wonderful family bond we have here. but yeah, i came back to the house and was in the kitchen washing dishes when i realized "i should call the school to tell them i won't be there for a while cuz i'm mourning for my mom..." and just as i was about to get the phone, someone talks to me and i just broke down cuz the fact that mom wasn't there anymore sank in and i was just a wreck after that. i woke up at that point, not crying, but thinking ".....i don't have a mom anymore.... wait.... ........ . . . ........ . . ..... . . ... . . . yes i do.... ok ok.... i'm ok.. good good.." and the feeling of dread went away. a nice way to start the day? no not quite. i am going to get food and try to be productive today because i have 4 personal projects to work on, 2 of which have a deadline, and after tomorrow, i am one busy chick.
~ Sunday, November 2, 2003 ~ 10:46 p.m. ~
tadaima.... back in socal....... it's not really -home-, but the place i come back to due to lack of options at the moment. still doesn't feel "right" to be here, but i'm comfortable if that makes sense at all... i went up to norcal with my parents this weekend and...
= it was friggin cold at night
= it felt soooooo good to be able to breathe again
= THAT. norcal. cupertino/santa cruz. felt like home.
the 6 hour drive began with forgetting my cds and cd player. i was awake the whole time listening to either the tires on the highway, or my parents talking about stuff like how many names in california started with los, san, santa, el, etc etc, and trying to figure our the meanings of all the names with their virtually non-existent spanish vocabulary. mom often talked about stuff that happened at work. and somehow, through the entire ride, i wasn't bored at all. staring out the window and letting your brain wander passes time pretty quickly. anyway... we went straight to los gatos high to watch my brother's much delayed football game, and mom offered to drop me off somewhere so i could get picked up by someone since the game had just started. shino came to get me since she was getting dahoon ryuta and corey (sp?) after they finished eating to go back up to santa cruz. thank you so much shino!! XD labu!! dahoon and i were dropped off at oakes where heidi was waiting for us~ we had our moment of squealing loud hugging hopping around reunion next to a weirded out dahoon who was trying to get the door unlocked ^^;; dahoon played ro while heidi and i did some girl bonding. then we watched battle royale XD that movie rocks, man! thanks to dahoon for burning it for me! XD and anc, too!! XDDDD labuuuu!!! before we knew it, it was 2am and heidi went back to her place. i was kinda tired from riding in cars all day... geh... after a little sleep, i summoned heidi back to us and we went out to lunch at tk noodle in cupertino~ followed by tapioca express where we stalled in meeting my parents to go back down to socal. heidi eventually took us to the meeting place where my mom and brother met dahoon for the first time, and then we parted at 2. thank you soooo much to heidi for driving!! XD much much labuuuuuu!!!! <3 <3 twas an EXTREMELY SHORT TRIP, but ya know what? i had fun and it was well worth the drive.
it's fuggin cold. lack of sleep is starting to kick in, so i shall hit the sack.
~ Thursday, October 30, 2003 ~ 05:25 p.m. ~
ro just crashed and i saw everyone get disconnected at the same time 1/1000 a second before i did. it was pretty cool looking~ all those white pillars... *_* anyway! a sudden turn of events: i am going up to norcal after all~ i love heidi! XD she convinced me to go up :D so we all happy now! can't wait can't wait can't wait to go hoooooome!!! XD XD XD as for today, bath and body works called and scheduled an interview! XD i made a calendar and got that up~ now i have an organized place to write down the stuff i need to get done. fuahahaha!! each month features a beautiful piece by yukirin! wahahahaha!! i'm a fan~ *_* also went to the post office and sent out commission~ and.. and... yesh ^^ today was a much better day~ CAN'T WAIT TILL WEEKEND!! XD XD XD KYAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
~ Wednesday, October 29, 2003 ~ 11:09 a.m. ~
so the upcoming event that has kept me going in somewhat high spirits since last week probably won't happen for me. i was so looking forward to going home, even if only for a short time, but if i don't have a car to get places, how am i gunna see anyone? do anything? there's no way i'm spending the entire weekend with my family when heidi and dahoon are right there so close. the frustration would make for a really REALLY pissy mirae, and noone wants that so there would be no point in my going home if i can't see the people i was going up for. when i came to that conclusion it felt like glass shattered inside me and cut up all my insides.
speaking of frustration, i'm a little annoyed at how my dad can be so friggin impatient. he doesn't seem to realize that processing apps and getting acceptance letters from schools can take a while, and he's nagging me to call the school and find out if i was accepted or not, even though -I- was already told that we had to wait for the letter. "well then call the person who's in charge of it and find out directly from him" comes the answer. the irritation was like a wool scarf.
bad things come in 3's. there's the mentioned 2 above, and the 3rd: my dad discovered this morning that my car has a flat. greeeeat... i gotta get the spare replaced today before i go to SEE MICHELLLELELELELELELLELELEEEE!!! the only good thing this week. ... i dun think i've cried so much over not being able to go somewhere.......;;;; i've gotten to a record level of how pathetic i can be since my high school days. still so much growing up to do.
~ Tuesday, October 28, 2003 ~ 04:45 p.m. ~
hahaha~ jacked from dahoon!
I AM: not quite right in the head
I WANT: to go home
I HAVE: a sugarbutt! :D
I WISH: i could do things right
I HATE: tabs
I MISS: being in high school
I FEAR: being alone
I HEAR: my computer humming and IMs coming in
I SEARCH: for a way to be productive
I WONDER: if this shoulder ache will go away anytime soon
I REGRET: stuff i can't remember anymore
I LOVE: dahoon
I ACHE: right here at the base of my neck and shoulder
I ALWAYS: go into food comas
I AM NOT: on my rag, for normal reasons, iei
I DANCE: to good beats
I SING: whatever i feel like singing
I CRY: a lot these days
I WRITE: manga
I WIN: nothing
I LOSE: arguments with dahoon
I CONFUSE: people that dunno me
I NEED: a shoulder massage
I SHOULD: exercise
Yes Or No...
x. You keep a diary: un
x. You like to cook: un
x. You have a secret you have not shared with
anyone: un
x. You believe in love: un
x. The weirdest person you know: michelle <3
x. The Loudest Person you Know: john?
x. The Sexiest Person you Know: dahoon :D
x. The Cutest Person you Know: dahoon XD
x. Your closest friend: heidi and michelle <3
x. The People that Know the Most about you: refer to previous 2 questions
What is...?
Your most overused phrase on IM: haa...
The last image/thought you go to sleep with: i dunno o_O;
time do I need to wake up tomorrow? whenever i want! :D
Inside joke: .......
Flamebroiler or Beer?? flamebroiler??? nani sore? and i hate beer.
Have a(any) crush(es): nill
Want to get married: hai someday
Think you're a health freak: no
Get along with your parents: half half
Like thunderstorms: when i'm with people, ok, when i'm alone NO THANKS
SIGN: pisces, I SWIM IN THE SEEEEEAAAA
NATURAL HAIR COLOR: black/dk brown?
CURRENT HAIR COLOR: dk brown/light highlights?
EYE COLOR: brown
BIRTHPLACE: sf, ca
(FAVORITES )
NUMBER: 4, 9
COLOR: blue silver black
DAY: everyday's the same till i go to school
MONTH: december/january
SONG: lots
FOOD: rice... i crave sushi and tonkatsu ;_;
SEASON: fall/winter
SPORT: basketball, soccer,
DRINK: kerns nectars :D
( PREFERENCES )
CUDDLE OR MAKE OUT? cuddle /heh
CHOCOLATE MILK, OR HOT CHOCOLATE? depends on the weather
MILK, DARK, OR WHITE CHOCOLATE? milk
VANILLA OR CHOCOLATE? chocooooooo
( IN THE LAST 24 HOURS, HAVE YOU.... )
CRIED? no
HELPED SOMEONE? yes
BOUGHT SOMETHING? soup
GOTTEN SICK? no
GONE TO THE MOVIES? no
GONE OUT FOR DINNER? no
SAID "I LOVE YOU"? yes
WRITTEN A REAL LETTER? no
TALKED TO AN EX? no
MISSED AN EX? no
WRITTEN IN A JOURNAL? yes
HAD A SERIOUS TALK? yes
MISSED SOMEONE? yes
HUGGED SOMEONE? no
FOUGHT WITH YOUR PARENTS? no
FOUGHT WITH A FRIEND? no
Name 7 things you hate:
1. tabs
2. bad air
3. getting up early
4. driving
5. RO people who heal/tank/buff beg and can't get a clue
6. feeling lonely
7. feeling unproductive
Would You Ever~
1. Eat a bug? yes.....;;;
2. Bungee jump? yes
3. Hang glide? yes
4. Kill someone? yes
6. Kiss someone of the same sex? yes
7. Have sex with someone of the same sex? mebe
8. Parachute from a plane? yes
9. Walk on hot coals? no
10. Go out with someone for their looks? no
11. For their reputation? no
12. Be a vegetarian? tried it. didn't last a day.
13. Wear plaid with stripes? NO
14. IM a stranger: no
15. Sing karaoke? done
16. Get drunk off your ass? mebe
17. Shoplift? done.... an accident
19. Star in a porn video? no
20. Dye your hair blue? yes
21. Be on Survivor? no
22. Wear makeup in public? done
23. NOT wear makeup in public? done
24. Cheat on a test? done
25. Make someone cry? done
26. Call your math teacher a motherfucker? mebe
27. Kick a baby? ......no............;;;
28. Date someone more than ten years older than you? no
29. Cuss out a priest? doubtful
30. Take a job as a janitor? no
32. Stay up all through the night? done
33. Drink straight espresso? done
~ Sunday, October 26, 2003 ~ 09:35 a.m. ~
good morning. i was just reading phi's blog and i realized just how much i haven't been keeping myself updated with my anime/manga hobby. i don't even know if X has a new volume out, dunno what clamp's new works are, haven't even touched a magazine since i first moved down.... gah....!! then again it's not like i have money to burn, so i guess it's better that i don't even see those things..
the sky's still all yellow...
~ Saturday, October 25, 2003 ~ 05:39 p.m. ~
hmmm.... the orientation thingie i went to this morning was actually pretty interesting. makes working at nordstrom sound like fun. it would've been a better experience if it wasn't cold like alaska in there, but hey, it's ok. i'll be better prepared on monday. dood, mornings here can be scary as hell. halfway to work it was so foggy i couldn't see anything in front of me, and then all of a sudden it's all clear and the sky's all orange and grey. it was quite beautiful in a sorta polluted disgusting way.
my parents are going up to norcal to see my brother next weekend. i shall be tagging along. and i WILL see my dahoon and heidi no matter what. quite excited, hai X3
~ Friday, October 24, 2003 ~ 09:13 a.m. ~
good morning _ _ i woke up and there was no clear light coming through the cracks in the blinds. just...... dull brownish light. ew. it hasn't been this cloudy since i moved down... thought it was gunna rain or something.
well then! for people who actually check this, you're prolly wondering why i haven't been updating, or why i haven't been online. and no, it's not cuz i'm so extremely busy, but simply cuz there's ABSOLUTELY NOTHING going on. i play RO all day. and doodle little things that don't make any sense. most of which have been trashed. commissions are coming along slowwwwwwly though the sketch for the hard one is done now. coloriiing is gunna be a biiiitch~~~~ ::sings:: as for being online. eh... we'll just say there are several people that i have short patience for, and i have decided to avoid them until i feel i am ready to encounter them again. i put up away message at night to let people know i'm still alive ^^;;;
i am so homesick. i didn't realize how much until dahoon and heidi called last night and i started crying. at least heidi couldn't tell. dahoon on the other hand...... sometimes it's scary how he knows stuff without even being here =_=;; i can't wait till i go back up to people and places i know...
mmmm... so i have a class tomorrow... wonderful..
~ Wednesday, October 22, 2003 ~ 03:51 a.m. ~
had some weirdass dream last night, dun remember anything but this little infant baby went down a slide at a park and barely avoided smashing its face in upon landing. i picked it up and carried it around for a while. there was a grown man going down the slide......;; and i think the mom was on the other side of the playground, but she didn't do anything about the baby.....;;; a lot of other crap happened... can't remember it though.....;;
xanga chatterboxes aren't working atm, so i'm just gunna leave notes here:
= dahoon = your school's haunted man! :D it is, i'm serious! o_O good luck on your midterms, beb~ you'll need it considering you didn't study =_=;;
= jason = oooh you're workingggg~~ money money is good good~ and DOOD!!!! it's FUCKING LONELY here in fullerton! come drag everyone here and we go eat at molcasalsa! :D
= jason h = man, you should've already known that GIRLS SUCK!! you don't want a girlfriend. they cause you problems and they're friggin drama queens, man. and yes, we should hang out!! >_< i haven't been to champion in a while...... hmm........
= john = haven't heard from you in a while but i'm sure you're doing fine ^^ hang in there and keep going for auditions and stuff! :D you're gunna be famous one day and i'll be like "yeeeeeep he's a friend of mine :D BWAHAHAHAHAHAAHA" ... i'm ok..
= bundy = ok man, that was one sad excuse of an update like you said -_- get more sleep!!! sleep is goooood~~~
speaking of which i should prolly get some sleep in =_= lately i've been waking up at like.. 8am or so..... and i dunno why so dun ask _ _ but it's not like it really matters since the only thing i do ALL DAY is just sit in front of the computer, drawing or what not. speaking of which, i finished a picture today!:D http://www.geocities.com/kanojo_no_choco/chewtoy.jpg that be my priestess on RO. i was having a breakdown the past couple days and this is the result that came out, but i'm ok now so all is CHO BERI GUDDO! you could say i had my first bump in the road... ^^;;;
SUCCESS!!! i will not be sitting in front of the computer all day for much longer!! hoho! i'm now a temp at nordstrom (for like.. a week or so -_-), and i have an orientation class to go to on saturday, and monday is register training. after that i think i go in everyday for the next 5 days to work or something, i dunno how it'll go, but i'll figure that out later. and dood. the next time i have 5 days in a row completely open, i'm going up to norcal cuz i'm seriously dying here.......DYING, YOU HEAR ME?!?!
i should get a chatterbox...
~ Monday, October 6, 2003 ~ 04:18 a.m. ~
good morning all. and tadaima. i went to santa cruz. again. it was a great trip, bundy drove up to see heidi and i went with him to see dahoon and all was fun and games. being stuck in traffic is not fun. but it was all worth it. i got my dahoon fix that'll last me a day or so, and then i'll slowly slip into that slump of depression and by the time next weekend comes, i'll prolly be a wreck, but hey, until then, good times good times. yesterday (saturday) the four of us went to todai for dinner and then went to valley fair to prevent any coming food comas. heidi and i broke our long tradition of going to aeropastale and playing dressup at jessica mcclintock. kinda sad... dahoon made me wear pink. yurusan!! it felt sooooo nice to be back in tino/sj/NORCAL cuz the air was just soooo nice. and it felt like forever since i had been there, even though it was only..... what.... 2 weeks....? 1 WEEK??? oh gahd... so yeh, went back to sc, KOed while dahoon played halo and RO till the crack of dawn.
sunday. technically today. we left sc around 4-5ish to go to cheesecake factory for dinner. my first time. it was so good. heh.. that sounds bad... but it really was sooo good! got really full and thought we'd go to the beach after that, but we were too tired so we just headed back to sc. ::haa:: i thought we were gunna leave at 1am, but bundy has class in the morning at 9 so we decided to leave earlier so he could get some sleep in before his lab. we were on the road by 11, and got to his house around 3:30ish where my car was, and i got home around 4. woot. 5 hours. driving in the middle of the night is fastest, yep. i had never seen parts of the 5 so clear before... o_O;
::fuaaa:: i kinda wanted to go to animagic this weekend to see my akg bebs, but those weren't solid plans, and lancaster... i had no idea where that was until a sign popped up on the 5 that said LANCASTER about 2 hours north of LA. dood..... thas the middle of nowhere... no wonder people say it's ghetto... i hope you guys had fun <3 a lot of thoughts went through my head throughout the weekend, but i can't even remember them right now. i only have enough capacity to mindlessly wander around maps and kill whatever moves and makes funny noises. RO. on no brain power. woot..... I CAN TANK!
~ Friday, October 3, 2003 ~ 02:29 a.m. ~
I MADE KNIGHT!! WOOT!! after taking a break, i went hunting nonstop in payon4 with a priest who did nothing but heal, agi-up, lex, bless, and lots of other stuffs support chara do! XD we ran around for about 2 hours and i got my final 60% done to get job level 40 *_* fufufufufuu~~ dahoon! we go knight together later!! <3 <3 right now it's time to draw cuz this event has inspired me~ somehow i doubt it'll get colored and finished though...;; maa ikka!
~ Wednesday, October 1, 2003 ~ 12:28 p.m. ~
O_o;; it's already october?!?!?!?! wth?!!?! it's fall!! ::ahem:: but yes.... I'M SO HAPPY!! WHY?! CUZ I THINK I GET TO SEE DAHOON THIS WEEKEND?! SPEAKING OF WHICH, HE HAS DECIDED TO GET SERIOUS ABOUT HIS SCHOOL WORK!! XDDD fufufufufu yeeeeees he makes me happy~ XD other than that there's really nothing post-worthy... writing down a list of what i did during the day is boring and lately my life's been just that. and lonely. grr..
~ Monday, September 29, 2003 ~ 06:42 p.m. ~
i think i was a sea animal in my past life. why? cuz i have this thing for staring at the ocean until someone has to drag me away. it makes me feel kinda nostalgic for something i dunno what. then again i could've been a cat cuz i'm lazy, i mew, i like high places, and my foot goes back and forth like the tip of the tail on the cat would when it's chillin. if i could, i'd purr... :3
~ Saturday, September 27, 2003 ~ 11:59 a.m. ~
dood...... weirdass dream o_O; and i have absolutely no idea what influenced it. the only thing i remember at this point is that i was a servant to this one guy and he treated me really special for some reason and there were a bunch of other servants that were kinda pissed at me except one, and i got along with her and there was this pet monkey that was loose in the house so we caught it, stuck it in a box, and put it in the garage just until master went out and then we'd take it out and let it go or something, but right as he was about to leave, he pecked my cheek and then left, but he went through the garage where the monkey was trying to get outta the box and he brought it in wondering why there was a monkey in his garage and we tried to explain and then he told me i could keep it as my pet if i wanted. it looked like the yoyos in RO. ieeeeiiii~ there were other parts, something about trying to play the piano.. running away from something... i was in my old house again o_O;
8:20pm edit
UWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!! i finally have dsl on my computer!!! I CAN STAY IN MY ROOM NOW!!! T_T so happyyyyy!!!! words fail to describe how happy i am T____T ::sob:: and RO looks so beautiful~~!!! i'm more inclined to doing stuff now! like draw! and update gallery! and stuff! like that! KYAHAHAHAAHAHAH!!
~ Friday, September 26, 2003 ~ 10:11 p.m. ~
omg i've never wanted so much to stay in norcal but come home at the same time. it was a painful position to be in, ya know, being pulled both ways. soooooooooo i spent a long fulfilling week in santa cruz with me beloved heidi and (mostly) dahoon <3 ieiiiii twas much fun! XD half the time i was vegetating and watching anime with dahoon~ the other half, was out with heidi or at shorinji or at ryuta's or what not~ mya! heidi i <3 your apartment! XD enjoy it while you can~ atooo.. yes... i desparately wanted to stay in norcal, but the fated day that i be brought back down to socal had come and i was to van down with the business group. for 15 hours, i was in agony desparately wanting to get home, so friggin close yet so friggin far, YOU KNOW?!?! i was really grumpy the whole day and people were really getting to me and GAH!! thas ok though! i'm just glad to be back *_* tomorrow will be the first morning in a week that i wake up alone. will prolly feel weird. but i be ok! mmm i'll be in my own bed once again *_* and a niiiice long shower is in order! fuhahahahaha!!!
~ Wednesday, September 24, 2003 ~ 11:35 p.m. ~
yeh i'm still in sc and enjoying it so much i'm afraid of going back down to socal. i'm so desparate to stay here that i'm seriously considering keeping myself here until november, which is when i'll have another chance to go down to socal. dood......... whatever. it's prolly best if i just go back.... aslkfjsl;fkjsal;kfj reason vs desire.
~ Sunday, September 21, 2003 ~ 07:39 p.m. ~
dahoon slept too much so he's kinda bleh the whole day. RO. woot. GAH! i was really spaced out the whole day. the heat kinda got to me after a while, too. dahoon's hungry. OH! i met a couple of his apt mates today. so far they're both gamers, like computer stuffs, quite nice people~ ::haa:: LEMME STAY HEEEEEERE!!! I DUN WANNA GO BACK TO SOCALLLLL!!! PLEEEEEASE!!!!