atashi wa...? :: kiraku na akuma v14

tableted by kanojo on january 25, 2002 ATASHI WA....?

:: Wednesday, March 6, 2002 :: 6:42 p.m. ::
oh yeah! gaki~ you can have the dialogue on your layout say "irashaimase" or something of the sort~ =D

:: Wednesday, March 6, 2002 :: 6:30 p.m. ::
wow i just finished watching face-off (starring john travolta and nicholas cage XD) and i hadn't seen that movie for sooooo long! XD they're pretty much my 2 favorite actors, both of which look bad with long hair and should always always keep it short! ANYHOO! thank you to everyone who wished me a happy birthday~ ^_^ as you know, i was QUITE shiawase stuffing myself with lots of sushi and tea and coffee and cake and yeah! i forgot to mention the restaurant gave me free icecream ^_^ was very happy doumo arigatou minna~~~ daaaaaaaaaaisuki da zo!! XD pekkle, i still have your watch! >_< the meiji yogurt caramels are realy good, and i have pitas layout to work on, hw to do, and independent study do finish by mid-april. GAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! stupid gov!!!!!! ::haaaaaaaaaaaa:: will... not... explode... ^_^ ::ni:: my self-bday present is getting delayed since i never seem to have my license everytime there's a copy machine nearby =_=; tonikaku, i'm gunna do some hw and work on independent study and do some layout stuff. assuming i can find a nice scan to use. =D ja!

:: Tuesday, March 5, 2002 :: 9:19 p.m. ::
WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! O_o i'm 18!! ok ok, so it hasn't sunk in for me, but i'm making a big deal out of it cuz everyone else is ^^;;; it's funny how a lot of people kinda exploded at me today (not in a bad way). i kicked heidi's backpack in the hallway, and she turned around, clamped herself onto my neck, and screamed HAPPY BIRTHDAY so loud i thought the whole school could hear ^^;; and then on the way to japanese, i was almost there when i hear a "MIRAE!!!!!!!" behind me o_O;; ::giku!! .... turn around...:: irene came and hugged me and presented me with some homemade brownies she made! XD ooooooooooooooooh my god they were sooooooo good!!! irene has the same bday as me, and sensei does, too ^^;; the class sang happy bday 3 times in the class o_O; and then in physics, i had the brownies with me, and the people that sat next to me were like "it's your bday?! o_O;; HAPPY BDAY!! O_O" ^^; thanks~ lunchtime, i felt like being nice and got heidi some starbucks, and hung out with her and ben-chan while listening to him help her study for her macbeth test. econ was the usual, and english i got some more "O_o HAPPY BDAY!!"

and..... rop.......... omg.......

k, it was pretty normal till mr post finished his slide show for our next project (which i already know what i wanna do~), and i saw this big white box sitting on the table. o_O; nya? and later on, i find steph-darling out looking for forks. ......forks.....? why......? "it's for your present~" ......................it's edible...........? o_O; "yes!" O_O FOOOOOD!! so yes, they open the box (a lot of people are watching, too ::kaaaa::), and inside, is an absolutely OISHISOUUUU NA GOOOOOOOJASU KEEEEEEEEEEEEEKI!!!!!!!!!!!! XD XD XD XDDDDDDDDDD chocolate cake with strawberry creme layer, all covered in whipped cream swirled with chocolate fudge and topped with chocolate shavings and STRAWBERRIES DIPPED IN CHOCOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! O_O BANZAAAAAAAIIII!!!!! ::POUNCE:: so nearly the whole cake was gone within like... 20 mins, and joanne (sp?) tried to either finger-feed me whipped cream or put it on my face ^^;; i couldn't tell what she was trying to do, but i ended up eating it off her finger ^^:;;; dun ask.

i went to phi's house afterward and since her dad came home today, she had a lotta new toys to make her happy~ she got the x trading card box, and i got the doubles~ =D well...... with all those doubles and stuff, phi has almost a whole set, and i have a little less than her, which pretty much ends up being mirae having a lot of the x card set without paying anythign for it o_O;; demo demo~~ it's part of my bday present from phi~ XD the other part is... currently... in japan ^^:;; COPICSSSSS!!!!!!!! XDDDDDDD so i got home a little before 5 cuz my parents were taking me out to dinner around 6 or 7, and yeah! XD i was on the phone with gaki till parents came home~

DINNER TIME!!! even though i had so much cake earlier, i was hungry! mom and dad took me to SUSHI O SUSHIIIIIIIIII~~~ the one on el camino =D and they have REALLY! GOOD! SUSHI!! O_OOOOOO LORD IT WAS GOOD!! and yeah!! XD i had about $40 worth of nigiri sushi dishes and iced tea~ <3 <3 my parents were so shocked that i could eat so much ^^;; and and and!!!!! dinner was FUN! XD i got some stuff settled out for a bit, and yeah! mom and dad both said i could miss school next next monday to go to LA with kg and kenji to look at campuses and apartments!! XD XD XD WAAAAAIIIIIIIII!!!! they're being so nice to meeeeee! XD i can finally use my voucher and so can stephanieeeeee~~~~ XD and my dad says he's cool with me driving to ax, too!!!! my mom's still kinda iffy about it, but yeah! if i just bug her about it a little more, she'll give in and i'll be able to drive! i won't have to work 2 days to get plane money, either! =D though i still need to make up my mind on whether i want to drive that long or not, cuz i dunno if i wanna fly or drive. phi's flying down there, but there's so much luggage and so few people driving and we need cars to carry luggage o_o; and yeah, it'll be a ROAD TRIP!! and and and...... let's seeeee~~

un! i think thas all for today ^_^
phi: you're 18 tomorrow
me: oooooooh ye-*SMACK!!!!* ;_; ttaaa what was that for?!
phi: IDIOT!

^^; yes i'm quite loved.

:: Saturday, March 2, 2002 :: 10:14 p.m. ::
traffic school wasn't as bad as i thought it'd be. i was awake the whole time, free to draw, eat, drink, do pretty much whatever as long as my eyes were open and was quiet, and the teacher was really cool. she was even ok with people passing notes o_O; i thought the class would be like half older people, and some people my age, but all 20-30 people in there were 16-19.

i went to talk to people at work after class since i didn't feel like going home. dude, guys these days get weirder and weirder. a customer was picking up on heidi and asked her to go to his friend's party. uhhhhhh no. i automatically said 'sure, why not?', but a few seconds later i realized how stupid it was considering i've never even seen the guy, and i was like oh HELL no. ::phew:: almost got into a lotta trouble. gotta look out for that girl...

my period didn't come february. but i'm not worried. it's just a nice convenience. i have a feeling it's gunna be really bad this month though... man, pms sucks.

mamo-chan came over today unexpectedly. i came home pretty tired to find a little darkgreen car parked in front of my house and first thing i thought was "...someone took my spot. oh wait, thas mamo-chan's car.. ok. .......MAMO-CHAN'S HERE?!! O_O" my brother was already home to greet me. how nice. mamo-chan popped out from behind the front door trying to scare me, but i pretty much expected something like that, so i didn't give him the pleasure of seeing me all GIKU. just gave him a hug instead. we ordered my new comp (HELLA CHEAP! XD) and it should be here in a week or so, iei! mamo-chan, DAAAAAAAISUKI!

man... i've gotta be pmsing or something cuz i'm getting hella mood swings. i'm getting into my mellow, apathetic, slightly depressive mode again, and i'm not liking it. ::sigh:: i have independent study to get working on, rop project to finish, and japanese speech to write up and memorize. all by monday. ::beeeeeeeeeeeeeep:: i started drawing a ccs pic for ebay selling. i think i'll do drawings now, and then get them sold sometime in may or so. paycheck's coming friday, IEI! time to start saving for AX now.

:: Friday, March 1, 2002 :: 7:40 p.m. ::
i found i'm quite irritable when my brother's around. i was happily watching yami comfortable in my bed, when:
::brother walks in::
me: NO.
bro: ... what?
me: NO. i will NOT take you anywhere.
bro: ...well mom and dad are having dinner...
me: ::seethe:: where are you going?
bro: cucina cucina. i need to leave like, now.
me: ::glare:: are you online?
bro: yes
me: get. off.
bro: fine ::starts to leave::
me: i'm NOT picking you up afterward so get your own ride.
bro: ........well.... i might not be able to....
me: i'm NOT picking you up.
bro: ....then i'll call mom and dad...

funny how i can read these things so easily now... the pattern never changes, and i end up going out to pick him up at 10 or even past 11 when i'm about to sleep and he's at a friend's house thas a 5 minute walk away. and he's only decently humane to me when he needs a ride somewhere. it's called ass-kissing. i hate ass-kissing, so for future reference, DON'T DO IT.

yes. i'm quite irritated right now. i need something good to happen to me. or at least something to cheer me up. btw, if anyone teases me by saying "i like you" in any way, shape, or form, i will be out for blood. there are times when i wish those words were real, and when people say them without anything behind it, it frustrates me. plus i get more and more cynical/cold when it comes to the topic, which isn't good for certain people who (used to) talk to me about those kinds of things.

if a toy isn't any fun anymore, you get a new one.

:: Thursday, February 28, 2002 :: 4:51 p.m. ::
wahahahaha i got home a little bit ago and no, nothing good in particular happened, but i've been in a really good mood for some unknown reason and it's WEIRD not that i'm complaining - i haven't been in a good mood streak for a long time! =DDD i'm getting sleep....y...... so yeah! i woke up this morning and my clock said 6:30am on it, and i was wondering why my brother was blowdrying his hair already. speaking of blowdryers, i need to take my spare ones to rop for mr post. anyway! yeah, i woke up to my brother blowdrying his hair, and i looked at my yami clock and it said SEVEN-thirty on that one, so i was really confused (since i was still half asleep), and it was COLD! having 12 layers was nice... but yeah, decided it should be reduced to 2. well... ^^;; apparently, that wasn't enough, so i'm gunna add another layer later. even though i left when the 1st bell shoulda rang, i got hot water from the cafeteria before going to psych, and i still wasn't marked late! ^_^ even though i was less than a minute chikoku, but yeah ^^;;;

all of fourth period i was drawing a gun. one big fat-ass-heavy-looking-laser-shooting-bazooka-style piece of metal that was about half the size of the girl that was holding it. the girl? she's chirin from my assassin story, which i still have yet to come up with a title for. yeah, i thought using guns was real cheap since all you do is pull a trigger. it's not traditionally violent. i liked the little scene i was drawing during japanese where she skewered a politician with her katana and flung him out the window of the 30th floor =D THAT was fun to draw ^_^ ben saw it and he's like "O_o i had no ideas girls had such violent tendancies" haha, some of us do, ben-chan ^^; phil saw the gun from 4th period and she was like "O_O;;; ::scoot away::" ROP PROJECT! XD it's gunna be fun, but yeah, i wanna use copics and phil won't lemme use hers ;_; kaijuu darlingggggg can i use yours?? ;;;;_;;;;

tonikaku~ my sense of time is a little more warped than usual, and i'm getting sleepy from all the nice weather and stuff, so i'm gunna take a nap ^_^ sonja!

:: Wednesday, February 27, 2002 :: 9:52 p.m. ::
yoSHA!!!!! lots of things got done today! i talked about stuff with heidi, and it looks like things'll be getting better from now on. i finished rearranging my room, all i gotta do now is vacuum (which i'll do tomorrow). =D i also found out (for sure) that csula doesn't require its freshmen to live on campus, so i can live at laguna with kg and heidi! i was explaining balboa stuff to her in japanese, and we were already arguing about who gets which side of the room. BOBO, THE FAR SIDE IS MINE!! so yeah, looks like we'll have to compromise a few things. ^^;

other than that? i have traffic school this saturday, so it'd be great if i could get that over with. and my next paycheck's gunna be big, and i was gunna get 36+ copics with it, but i watched this one econ video and it made me wonder if i really really need those copics.... ::ponder:: ....::contemplate::.. ....of COURSE i need them!!! XD tonikaku! since it's almost march and all, i think it's time for me to make a new layout~ shall choose between fruits basket, love mode, chobits, and X. ^_^ gimme votes, ne~ XD sonja!!!

:: Tuesday, February 26, 2002 :: 11:29 p.m. ::
alrighty! 95% done with cleaning room, and 50% done rearranging it! wow..... it looks... BIG o_o;; like.... there's SPACE! o_O;; this is a new concept! after i move the other half around, there should be even MORE and cosplay will be quite pleasant to do in here~ ^^ tv, vcr, and stereo stuff are all hooked back up so i'm all set. my miyu tapestry (the really big sheet that hung in front of my door) is now hanging on a wall like it should be, and with it there, i feel so exposed with anyone being able to look into my room without any problem x_X; i guess it'll take some getting used to again. as of right now, day 2 of cleaning is done, and day 3 shall start tomorrow after i get hw done. gotta finish rearranging, and day 4 will be the dusting and vacuuming! ::fuu!:: lots of work. moving out should be pretty simple if things don't accumulate much ^_^ spaaaace... niiiice....

i wanna make a pack list for moving out. should also make a pack list for ax. i'm happy i dun have hw tonight~

:: Monday, February 25, 2002 :: 8:29 p.m. ::
::fuu:: i feel a little better about college living. kaijuu said i could live with her, phil, and heidi at laguna, but i still need to know if it's ok with philana for me to camp with them. =_= phil, i'm not sharing a room with you. i dun like the idea of dorms - dirty, cramped, living with people i dunno, being so close to my classes.... and most people already know i dun adjust to new people too well. speaking of which, i just realized reina didn't come karaoke with us this weekened... k, that was random.

i told my parents i wanna apply to aisc, and dad's ok with it cuz it's not 30k a year like other art schools and he feels i'll be ok since people i know are going/most likely going. mom, on the other hand, is being really stubborn and says she wants me to go to a 4-year college before going to an art school... i say thas a waste of money.

life is getting a bit lighter as some issues are getting less stressful. still have craploads of things to do...
= shape up attitude-wise toward my friends
= get living arrangements settled
= get aisc app done
= get working on independent study
= make progress on cosplay
= work on akgstudios
= finish commissions
= save save save money for ax
= do hw
= rearrange my room
= drink my tea
= take a shower
= and go to sleep so i'll be ready for a long day tomorrow.

oh, i calculated that i can get at least 36 copics with my next paycheck. ::smile::

:: Sunday, February 24, 2002 :: 12:32 a.m. ::
aaaa, vacation's almost overrrrrr, just one more daaaaayyyyy ;_; iyaDAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! so yeah, today was pretty much just work. ugh... feet hurt... like hell... and the past few days, my shoulders've been REALLY sore and just killing me whenever i lift my arms up or anything. x_X; it hurts to change. it hurts to lift bags. it hurts to drive. it hurts to do pretty much anything where i have to lift my arms. but i survived the day! X_X barely.. it was REALLY bad when i woke up, and work didnt help. OH! i got my very own little tea mug while i was on break! and philana and i had fun during lunch - went to the bank where she freaked out over some more X trading cards;;; she gave me her doubles! XD had icecream, udon, and yeah. good times. nii-chan was working today, and he handled all of gaki's transactions and mine. i think he thinks gaki's a little.............. weird......? ^^;;;; i dun blame him if he does;; i blew off about $40 on manga today, too~ <3 felt goood~~

after work was KARAOKE!!! my first time going out to karaoke and it was fun~ cut short by my mom, but still fun while it lasted! sang a buncha songs with heidi~ "i was gunna eat your .....SUKIYAKI........ but then i got high" KYAHAHAHAHAHAHAA that was good recovery ^_^ and... i had no idea i could go so high on some of those songs x_X;;; christ i hope i didn't pop anyone's hears while i was singing. pekkle was reeeeeeeeeeeeeally bored outta his mind, and i feel kinda bad, but he was only there cuz heidi was there, so i guess that makes up for it? i dunno...;;

yesterday i went to work and off to round tables with steph and heidi and jack and pekkle for lunch~ tokiko gave me an extra 15 mins on my 30min lunch break. tehe~ so yeah, had fun then, and then i went to jack's house afterward. why? cuz i hadn't seen him for a long time, and he's still important to me, though i dunno about some people anymore. =_= almost fell asleep a coupla times, but watching him play cs was fun~~ quite funny ^_^ then i came home, read some manga, and went to bed.

tomorrow, i shall do hw, read manga, and then draw draw DRAW!!! must work on portfolio, must do observational drawings, must do ax pieces, must do lots of things yes.

:: Friday, February 22, 2002 :: 1:24 a.m. ::
i forgot what going to work on weekdays was like. really quiet, annoying music (not like that's changed), and tokiko's there. ::sigh:: well, she doesn't give me hell anymore cuz she says i've "become more"... uh.... what's the word....? sunao, it means docile/gentle/obedient/meek.... and only cuz i was feeling mellow at work cuz i was bored. i dunno, she's been nicer, so i guess i don't get as irritated. mom's been really really nice to me lately, too. o_o; it's scary.... dad just got home half drunk so i'm pissed at him for that and he's scared of me cuz when he tried to pat my head, i shoved his hand away.

work was tiring, and then i went to steph's house till about 12ish. ^^;; it was FUN though~~ steph, phil, heidi, kenji, pekkle, and i all went to fantasia for a drink (beats going to the gas station for icecream, which we ended up doing, too ^^;;), and then came back to steph's house and talked and talked ^_^ it was funnnn~~~~ comparing people at each others schools and stuff at cons and message boards and yeah~ ^_^ good stuff! <3

:: Monday, February 18, 2002 :: 11:20 p.m. ::
aaaah yes, today was a good day, and beriberi good daaay~ went to phil's house with kaijuu and after icecream, we all sat around and doodled for a little bit ^_^ oranges are good... yep! and then we had dinner right after i threatened to eat philana XD dinner was fun cuz we were talking about the future of akg in one apartment. ::smileeeeeeeeee:: philana washed the dishes while i rinsed them off, and then we had icecream for dessert, where the akg-talk REALLY got bad XD PMS BABY!!! PMS!!!!!! XD KYAHAHAHHAHAHAA i drew a short strip of akg days while mirae pmses. ^_^ good stuff~

:: Monday, February 18, 2002 :: 6:38 p.m. ::
i'm over at phil's right now. i've been here since 2something, and yeah, i'm having fun, it's all akg and we were working on page layouts, and doodles~ we had some strawberries dipped in white chocolate XD yummieeeee... then we went out to 31icecream and had an INTERESTING convo about uke2 and seme2 pairings! XD

an example of uke2: both kenshin and soujiro are waiting for the other to make the first move...
soujiro: ...;; saa, douzo, himura-san
kenshin: yoroshii de gozura ka?
soujiro: hai, meshiagatte kudasai ^_^
kenshin: ja, itadakimasu de gozaru yo

:: Saturday, February 16, 2002 :: 1:08 p.m. ::
dood...... the day's barely started and i feel like crap already. i woke up at 6:45 to go to traffic school, and yeah... i got lost cuz yahoo directions are stupid and there WAS no west taylor st coming out of guadalupe, and i got lost and i was trying to find my way BACK when i actually FOUND the place and it's really stupid how i always end up getting lost and then finding the place when i'm trying to find my place BACK, and so ok, i found the place, and then i can't find the room it's being held in, and when i FINALLY find the door, it's like, 8:02 and i'm not allowed in cuz if you're late, you're not allowed to take the class, dammit. ::SIGH:: so i decide to just come home and fill my tank. i got lost again trying to find the way back. and according to the time thing in yahoo directions, i must've been lost and wandering for about 40 minutes before i finally found the way to get home. i hate san jose. i passed by the san jose japantown, though. not like i stopped by. i got home around 9, and my mom started yelling at me for not being able to handle such a simple thing and how she and dad kept telling me over and over that you can't be late and i told her already that i knew but i got lost because yahoo SUCKS and i felt bad enough already for being late and pretty much wasting $89 on the class which i didn't make it on time to, and she just slammed her room door on me and i went to my room and cried. my mom came in a few minutes later to yell at me again that there was a deadline which i had to finish the class by, and i told her that was march22 and my voice gave away the fact that i was crying and she felt bad and aplogized and hugged me.

after i calmed down a bit, i called work to tell tom i could work today, but there were already enough people, so i decided to clean my room. cleaned out my wardrobe, put all the stuff i don't/can't wear into bags, and my mom saw them and took some to wear for herself. i actually had a somewhat nice convo with her about kodama and kogepan and fanart. ;;; i repaired my kogepan's arm, and my mom really likes my kodama...;; she was gunna steal it before i stopped her...;;;;; i think mebe i'll get her one at ax..;; assuming they're not $30-40 like in frisko.

i just finished lunch and now i'm sitting here watching sailormoon sailorstars for the first time in who knows how long, and yeah, i suddenly wanted to watch it. kinda... weird... and dood, it's only 1, and i feel likt it should be 4 cuz i woke up so early and it's weird weather out and yeah.. i think i'll go see steph and phil later at work, and then i'll work on gallery some more. i was tabletting a sketch of naru, and it took me a friggin hour and half and i dun even know WHY. ::sigh::

i was thinking to myself last night after i hung up with phil (who called at nearly 12 =_=;;; aitsu...) but yeah, i was thinking "i want to be a mangaka", but it's impossible cuz i can't draw. i can't draw furniture, cars, landscapes, backgrounds, animals, anything. i'm not mangaka material... ok... i'm... gunna try cheering myself up.

:: Thursday, February 14, 2002 :: 6:34 p.m. ::
dwyer, econ teacher: what day is it today?
me: thursday
everyone else: valentine's day
me: ....oh yeah...;;

today is valentine's day. rejoice. nde, gaki and i made choco yesterday and heidi came later and helped mold the stuff. it was fuuuuun and gaki and i got "kinky" on the kitchen floor while heidi ignored us and kept washing dishes ^^;; and oh! i still need to find extra space on my wall! ::smile:: it seems to me that i will not be able to rest yukkuri for a while cuz i have school tomorrow, traffic school that starts at 8am on saturday, work on sunday, and akg day on monday. i think i should nap tomorrow for sake of my health. i think i should nap today, too.. ::sips tea:: not like it'll be possible, but should at least try, ne? i have a bit of hw so i think i'll finish that and then get on with my nap. ::nii::

i went to rop today and chris embarrassed the hell out of me. x_X; him and the interact (?) choir serenaded me, heidi, and joanne, and yeah... it was hazukashiiiiiii... very nice, though ^^ so yeah.. rop was interesting. our next assignment is an ad. gehehehehehehe, i have an idea for it already ::niiiiiii:: what is it, you say? sore wa~ hi~mi~tsu~ XD

ok.... gotta do math and write english essay which shouldn't take TOO long, neeee? as long as i get at least a B on it, i'll be happy iei! nanka saikin... mezurashiku genki da na.. doushitandarouuuu...? naze darouuuu? it's a good thing, but at the same time, some things still really get on my nerves, so.. i guess it balances out? tehe.

:: Monday, February 11, 2002 :: 11:33 p.m. ::
T_T uuuuuuu.......... copics are fun.... to the point where i wanna get my own set, but i can't spend so much on themmmmmm ;;;;;_;;;;;;; i got half of my rop done at kaijuu's house using her copics. ::siiiigh:: they're funnnnnnn... pekkle made some more adjustments on kaijuu's computer, and he said he'd buy my piece if he had money~ XD IEI~ and then stephanie's dad took me and steph out to dinner and it was REALLY good!!! O_O soooooo full...... must work it all off! >_< RUNNING IS GOOD!! random comment: my current rop project makes a better montage than my other one.

ok, i'm not gunna do hw tonight. -_-

:: Sunday, February 10, 2002 :: 6:36 p.m. ::
ouuuuuuusu! just got back a little bit ago from sleepover at kaijuu's~ we fiddled around with her comp for a bit and i read some manga while she fiddled around with her comp some more~ i went to sleep a little before her, though i did wake up when she went to sleep, too. rest. good. we woke up around 9something, went out looking at computers, and then came back before noon~ pekkle and kenji came over to reformat her comp. ^^; foodness. tehe~

so kix-darling, pekkle, and i all went to mitsu cuz the duck wanted to see the spork. yep. tea at fantasia, and it was back to home i go. joy. now i have hw to do. and rop project to get working on. love hinaaaaaaa~~~ pekkle's letting me borrow his artbooks for reference~~ XD sankyuu, atashi no kirei na otoko no ko! XD

nyaaaaaaaaaaaaaa~~ i feel pretty good~~ to the point where i dun mind doing my hw at all! XD KYAHAHAHAHA yappa konna kibun ga ichiban ii ne!! AH! gaki-darling should be home soon! WAAAAAIIIIII~~~

yuuhi: ...;; omae douka shiteru
akuma: un! XD wakatteru yooooooon! ::glomp::
yuuhi: UWA!! kora!! ore kodomo ni shuumi nee!!
akuma: -mu!- atashi chanto otona ni naru tokoro nandayo!! amaku mirunjaneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!! XO

:: Saturday, February 9, 2002 :: 9:45 p.m. ::
WAAAAAIIIIIIIIIII~~~ i'm at steph's house right now and spending the night~~ ^_^

my alarm woke me up at 6:45 this morning and yeah, i took a shower and then went out with heidi to sf for a japanese cultural festival ^^;;; onlyyyyyyyyyy.... we ended up not going to it o_o;; we had such a hard time finding it and yeah... we finally decided to just go to japantown, get some crepes, walk around, and then go shop at the malls around home. =D only.. when we FINALLY decided, the school kinda... showed up on our left and we were like O_O AH!!! IT'S RIGHT THERE!!! but..... ^^;;; yeah, we didn't see it!!! so... LET'S GO TO JPTOWN!! XD creeeeeepes ::drool:: and then we went to stanford shopping center and heidi got a shirt and she's raving over how she wants to get another shirt from armani exchange at another a|x cuz she can't find the right size at the stanford one ^^;;;; funny lady...

so yeah, connie was SUPPOSED to spend the night, but she ended up not being able to come, which is ok cuz i'm spending the night at steph's house tonight!! XD and it's BETTER cuz we can watch a buncha stuff! =D connie, i still love you~~~ but i haven't seen my kaijuu for soooooo long~~ XD KYAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! (i had a bit of coffee that seems to be working quite well)~ ^^;;;

tonikaku~~~ i'm gunna go now since steph's new comp came in and i'm using it to update it and she still has tons of stuff to install~~ XD XD XD SONJA!! <3 <3 <3

:: Friday, February 8, 2002 :: 8:44 p.m. ::
oh my FRIGGIN GOD!!!! i woke up like.. JUST NOW from my nap, and earlier today i told stephanie i'd pick her up from work and when i woke up, my mom told me she called to say she got a ride already and OMG i'm praying that she didn't get one cuz she was so sick of waiting. STEPHANIEEEEEE!! I'M SOOOOOOOO SORRY IF THAT'S THE CASE! YURUSHITEEEEEEEEEE!!!! ;_;

dood... i'm still lacking major sleepage, and my eyes can hella feel it... mebe i'll just to go bed now and see what time i wake up...

:: Thursday, February 7, 2002 :: 10:00 p.m. ::
man, what a day..! first i'm late to school, and the rest of the day goes by a bit rough. rop was fun though~ akg sat at a table with some others including kenji, and we all doodled~ and i heard about digicharat cosplay for ax masquerade....;; we all went to mitsuwa to pick up paychecks and stuff, and ran into heidi. i had to hurry to the bank, safeway, pick up stuff at my house, and race over to melissa's house to work on japanese project. it was really fun - we made props and it was like cosplay ^^ and then we practiced our performance, and ben-chan was being really funny and yeah, it was fun! our performance is gunna be great! well.. assuming aaron shapes up.

this week has been one major pain-in-the-@$$ emotional roller coaster. kevin (cheng) came by on tuesday and i sorted things out to him for a few hours..;; felt better after that. and things have been looking up a bit since then i guess. crap. i still have independent study to get working on. i have till the middle of april to get my crap done. ::siiiiiiigh::

got home a little while ago, and i can't go running tonight cuz it's raining. so i'll just do my math hw like the good little girl i am (yeah right), and then go to bed. tehe. oh! i got my keyboard to work again~ the cordless one~ there are still little quirks every now and then, but it's all good!

:: Tuesday, February 5, 2002 :: 8:42 a.m. ::
BORING WARNING!!! THIS ENTRY IS JUST BABBLING WHILE I BE AT SCHOOL!

dood, connie! i was watching gap till somewhere around 3am last night cuz i just couldn't sleep (even after i finished), and yeah, i had a dream about brian and me, only he was straight, yet at the same time he was gay ^^;;; straight in the sense that we were together, but i wasn't sure if i was supposed to be a guy in the dream o_o; was i supposed to be justin, i dunno, but yeah, it was really sad cuz it had something to do with someone giving someone else a bracelet and one of them seeing someone else wearing it and yeah... it was sad ;_; and yeah, dood, michael and brian are HOT! ;_; justin's more cute than anything. OH MY F*CKIN GOD!!! we HAVE TO HAVE TO GET THE 2ND SEASON!!!!!! WE MUST SEE IT!! OMG THE 1ST SEASON ENDS AT SUCH A BAD TIME!!!!! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! ;_; i couldn't believe it ended like that!!!!! connieeeeeee!!! you have to come over this weekend so we can watch itttttt!!!!!!! ::sob!!::

yes. i'm ok. i'm at school right now, and my 1st period class is in the computer lab doing a worksheet, but robert and i are done so i'm updating this and he's playing net tetris with watson =_=;; so is arnold. i was really happy and high for some reason yesterday. i think it might've been the happiness from finishing hw and rop project. dood, my hand died on that thing - and drawing basically the same thing over and over... man, i think i'll stick to becoming a mangaka ;_; seiyuu sounds good too, but i think it'd be kinda hard to find a school for something like that... plus it'd make me feel REALLY bad if i couldn't even get a job in it. i think i might try it out sometime though. casually go to an audition and (if i have to turn in a resume), just put in "had no professional training"...? KYAHAHAHAHAHA man i just said the stupidest things right about now, didn't i? this is what happens when you're bored outta your mind and stuck at school.

i was talking to connie yesterday about how life's boring when you don't like anyone and she said she hasn't liked anyone for so long that she doesn't even remember what it feels like o_o;;; thas ok though! XD free is better! not liking someone = free cuz you don't spend so much time just thinking about whether you want to or not, and it REALLY sucks when you get rejected ^_^ so yeah, it's better to be single. ::aHEM:: only... SOME people just can't single!!! SUCKS FOR HER!!! KYHAHAHAHAAHA!!! pimp. ¬_¬ gotta take the the bobo-baka down to rop today.

wowwww~~ i actually had dreams last niiiight!!! ;_; so happyyyyyy!! sad dream, but it was a dreeeeeam~~ sleeping wasn't so boring anymore~! AUGH!! i gotta get up this saturday at 7 to get ready to go to frisko by 8 cuz there's a friggin cultural festival. man... HEIDI, you owe me for making me go. =_= MAA~~ at the same time i guess it's ok cuz we'll be in frisko and mebe stop by jptown~~ creeeeeeepes!!!!! ;_; hauuuuu~~~ hnnn, mebe-mebe i'll take ken up on his offer of treating me to crepes ^_^

ok... class is out in a bit, so i'm out! ja!

:: Monday, February 4, 2002 :: 10:56 p.m. ::
ok... cramps come at bad times... i feel like my stomach's slowly acidifying away and vaporizing at the same time. pain.. but strangely enough, i feel pretty good emotionally. happy sorta~ i think hanging out with connie might be good for me. we went to fantasia, barnes&nobles to do hw (we doodled, too), and then mitsu so she could get some notebooks. i had fun~~ we ran into phil and kenji at fantasia. i saw an orange jacket from the corner of my eye and i was like .....o_o;; haa....? for some reason i felt like i'd be in trouble with phil there;;; like she'd yell at me or something..;; dood, there must be something wrong with me.

i realized that in the back of my notebook, i have a lot of drawings that reflected me the past few days. i find most of them to be aggrivation. there are the scarce happy ones, but i have no idea what made me wanna draw those. mebe i'm not the happy2 person lots of people see me as at school. though i know phil and steph are prolly reading this and saying ".... mirae?? HAPPY?? HA!! she just pmses all the time and is never happy" pittari, nee?? =D ...cramps still hurting... x_X;

tonikaku! i'll see if i can try finding more happy pictures in my notebook, yes?

:: Sunday, February 3, 2002 :: 9:08 p.m. ::
nii-chan and heidi were at work today, talked to them for a while. nii-chan was so bored that he drew a pic on paint, and it was like... pittari to what he was copying..;; it was the cover for an eraser, and it had a pic of that one... really weird red spicy bread thing, and yeah.. it was really good and he did it by mouse.;;; i think he was REALLY bored.... pekkle came...to drop off a flashlight and have dinner with his sister. ii naa.. he gets along with her... and his sister's cool, dood. instead of getting pears like i had intended, i ended up getting a drink and mochi. and finishing heidi's katsudon. she was really happy to see me for some reason. got only knows why, and she said so herself 'yeah, i dun even know why i hang with you so much since you're so cold-hearted and apathetic and boring and etc etc'. something to that effect. no, it didn't hurt at all, so i dun care. besides, it's true, ne? though tom-aniki was being an ass to me. i said hi and he acted as if i wasn't even there. i asked him why he's totally ignoring me and being so mean to me lately, and he just said 'cuz i hate people who like gay faggots'. uhhhh.... what does that have to do with anything.....? and he bragged about how he went to frisko last night and beat the crap out of a gay guy with his friends and so proud that he jacked 40 bucks off him and yeah, tom's really stupid... if he doesn't like gay people, there's a simple solution: DON'T GO TO FRISKO ASSHOLE!!! no pun intended. ::haa:: i have like... no hw tonight. yay. this means i can watch gap. tehe. hehehe... GYAHAHAHAAHAAAHAHAA!!!

:: Sunday, February 3, 2002 :: 5:46 p.m. ::
i woke up around 1ish and stayed in bed till 3 or so. i watched some dvds on kevin's portable dvd player, and it's great to be lazy, yep. i haven't done any homework at all whatsoever, but it's not like i care =_=; i'll do it later.

i talked with jack for a while last night and yeah, love him to death cuz he made me feel better when i was crying about my life changing too much at once and how i don't want nor did i like it. i still don't like it, but very slowly, i will eventually get used to it. by that time it might not even matter...

superbowl's today, right? last i heard the score was 3-0. rams were winning. but thas all i know. my mom went to a friend's house and my brother prolly went to another friends's house and i dunno where my dad is and OMG i want pears right now... mebe i should drop by at mitsu and get some. ::ni:: heidi's working, and mebe nii-chan'll be there, too. hmm.. i think i should get dressed...

:: Saturday, February 2, 2002 :: 10:04 p.m. ::
i had two worlds in which i lived. two worlds which i loved being in, but was impossible to be in both at the same time, as many cases usually are. well... those two places have been merging, and despite how i love them both, i find that i do not like this change. two worlds molding into one, and now i don't have any place to run. some people might know what i'm talking about. if they're perceptive enough. sonja, i'm gunna go take price tags off manga and watch gap and mebe chat.

:: Friday, February 1, 2002 :: 11:47 p.m. ::
so..... sleepy.... eyes are in pain.

i planned on taking a nap right after school, and then going to pekkle's to hang out. but no, went to mitsuwa spontaneously, bumped into kenji, and then we both went to pekkle's after. i slept most of the time i was there ^^;;;

i got into a car accident. kevin was driving and jack was driving phil, heidi, and pekkle, and we were all going to wendys to get food. well... there was a stupidass idiot that cut jack off, and jack hit his brakes fast enough to avoid hitting it, but kevin's car is a piece of junk and the brakes didn't work too well and we went BOOM into jack at about 15-20mph. 20 tops. we were discussing it. ^^; nobody got hurt, just the front of kevin's car ^^;;; but it's ok~ noone's hurt, everyone's ok, just a bit shaken up.

so yeah, got home and first thing my mom did was bitch at how i didn't leave "enough information" in my message on the answering machine. she doesn't even know who pekkle is, so if i say "yeah i'm at pekkle's house", she won't have a clue about where the hell that is anyway, and it won't make a difference. and that woman needs to stop calling heidi's cell phone whenever she doesn't know where i am. my dad, he was cool, he was happy to see me and asked if i came home alone. like he expeceted someone to be with me to spend the night. pretty cool. but mom's just a bitch and SHE'S the reason i never wanna be here. ::sigh::

:: Friday, February 1, 2002 :: 3:40 p.m. ::
... i'm at pekkle's house right now. and it was spontaneous. noone's gunna be here till 4, but i went to mitsuwa to see steph and then decided on a whim to just come here cuz might as well since it'd be a waste to make 2 trips out. ::haa:: kenji and i bumped into each other by coincidence at mitsu, and we killed time for a bit until yeah... decided to come here. i have a feeling i'll prolly fall asleep sometime while i'm here. go home, do some running, and then sit in the spa. modernized version of onsen! yeah... only... i'll be wearing something unlike them hinata inn peoples. heh...;;

:: Thursday, January 31, 2002 :: 5:55 p.m. ::
yes, crappiness has been going on lately, and because of it, i've also been treating others like crappiness and things aren't going well. minna, i'm sorry. there are lots of things on my mind and things happening or going to happen.
= bunkasai feb 9 in frisko (heidi, you're driving)
= traffic school the saturday after that (i'm gunna be working on sundays those 2 weeks)
= have to do independent study for gov by late march so i can get the grade on time for csu and that's less than 2 months to finish a semester's worth of coursework. the final for that thing makes up 50% of my grade. ::sigh::
= and then there's rop project that i have to finish by monday
= regular hw from school, and on top of allll that,
= i haven't been feeling emotionally well for a while. always irritated or frustrated or too mellow for my own good or SOMETHING i dunno WHAT it is, but i KNOW there's something SERIOUSLY wrong with me. i think i've been looking into things too much or taking things too personally or being overpossessive (more than usual) or what not, but i found that the most trivial things get to me and i can't help but feel irritated/paranoid and it SUCKS cuz i'm usually not paranoid about anything!!! ::siiiiiiiigh::

yes, i'm stressed.

"time is a scarce resource. the fundamental economic problem is SCARCITY; too many people, not enough stuff" -dwyer, econ teacher

:: Wednesday, January 30, 2002 :: 12:27 a.m. ::
connie came over again and phil came up pick up her psone, but ended up staying for almost an hour. she dragged me out to show me the moon. it's bright enough to go jogging. so phil and connie pretty much talked about anime and manga and annoying people and fanons and yeah. can't say anything cuz i know i'm a fanon for stuff, too. oh well. haven't been feeling too good lately. must be something wrong with me. caffiene withdrawal? o_o; i'm seriously starting to think skipping coffee is affecting me. not good, i know, and i know a number of you are thinking "stupid idiotic irresponsible drug addict". thas ok. caffiene's a drug.

sleep is good... must sleep...

:: Monday, January 28, 2002 :: 11:17 p.m. ::
there's nothing quite like gapping with a friend~ ^_^ connie, we should hang out more often! kazuto took me to mcdonalds for lunch today and he got me food =D iei~ rop was unproductive, but i went out to food and then connie came over to do hw and just hang out. she left a little before 11 =P i finished all my hw except math... i think i'll do that now. and dwyer (econ) is so cool! XD he's changed a lot since freshmen year, but he's still cool! i have a feeling i won't be sleeping in econ. =D

:: Sunday, January 27, 2002 :: 7:46 p.m. ::
i finished my pic of a sunbathing bishie~ iei!

:: Sunday, January 27, 2002 :: 1:42 p.m. ::
the past few nights have been really really boring. not cuz "there's nothing to do", dun worry, i have plenty of things to do. but it's when i'm sleeping. i don't dream! >_< the dreams just STOPPED all of a sudden and even if i DID dream, i don't remember any of them! >_< iyaaaaa!! i don't want them to stop! that's what makes sleeping fun!! ;_; yeah... i'm ok....;;; i figure if my mind ever gets busy enough, i'll have them. until then, i guess nights will be idle for me ;_;

:: Saturday, January 26, 2002 :: 10:42 p.m. ::
geh..... my legs have never felt more dead. i'm soooo outta shape - i went running yesterday with heidi and yeah, my legs are sore from THAT. not to mention standing all day didn't exactly help the stiffness. yeah. i know, i'm in REALLY REALLY bad shape. my stomach's sore, too, like i did situps or something, but i didn't. hm.. how weird...

work was cool. i talked with chris (he works at kinos) more than usual, and i call him "nii-chan" now. i talked with ken-kun, too. ato... sergio made me some inari~ XD iei! nathan kept me company for part of my lunch, and i talked with tetsu-san part of my lunch, too. oh yeah, and this one lady at kinos thought i couldn't speak japanese until she saw me talking with nii-chan. ^^; yeah, my breaks were interesting. ah! i also had a nice chat with midori-san and masa-san during break in the office~ =D work was cool when i wasn't standing ^^; ah! ice-cream boy came along and i was being civil to him~ didn't glare or anything~ though i think when he recognized me, he got scared ^^;; him... ki ni ittenee. zen.zen. roy kept popping up outta nowhere like... 5 times or something.

kino's music store has a LOT of anime/game cds now. O_o; LOTS of ghibli studios soundtracks - like ALL of them i think X_x;; and then there's nanako, love hina, esca, eva, etc osts. i didn't look at the game ost section though. heh; hnnn... i came into my room and things on my desk were moved around and i got irritated. my brother used my comp and didn't even bother to put things back. i need a lock. and my mom left a note on my desk saying that she wants me to clean my room cuz a messy room is "very disrepectful to your mother". what the HELL kinda bull shit is she trying to pull this time?? that's the first time i've ever heard anyone say a messy room is disrespectful. i LIKE my room like this dammit. lemme alone. ::HAAAAAA::

i've been really sleepy lately, too. i wonder what's wrong with me...? i was sleep all day today and wasn't having an easy time staying awake at work. half asleep putting stuff away and typing this up...;; i think i might go to bed early tonight... saaa...

:: Friday, January 25, 2002 :: 8:11 p.m. ::
new layouuuuuuuuuuut~~~~

heidi and i went running/walking a while ago and we took me dogs~ were out for an hour, and then it was mcdonalds for salad and yogurt ^_^ after that, we came home and now it's online time~~

yeah, heidi's a dork cuz she thought i was mad at her ever since last night and she called a million times and even came over around 4:30 (we were supposed to go running then), but i had my music on and my door was closed so i didn't hear the doorbell nor the phone and heidi thought i was so pissed i didn't even bother with either of them and when i called her back after my mom told me she called and left messages and she started bawling for like.. 10 minutes ^^;;;;;; and wouldn't stop. and then she started AGAIN when she got to my door =_=;;; aitsu... so yeah, everything's cool now. prince was being weird and he like... circled me HOWMANYTIMES while we were out and yeah;;; heidi says 21...;;

now we plan on going to phil's house cuz she's sick and lonely and bored and yeah... gotta pick up brother at 11 from mv cuz he's an idiot and yeah. =_=;;;

KIRAKU NA AKUMA v14

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