[Sunday, August 3, 2003]
[11:05 p.m.]
wow it's still sunday... hasn't even been 2 weeks since i moved and i feel like it's been 2 months. the days are long. when i go out, they're long and fun. for instance, eugene took me to church this morning around 10ish, but it feels like that was yesterday or something. went to bh pretty much right after that, and out to boba with dahoon. free refills. niiice :D and my first time at a pcban! too bad they didn't have RO -_-; thas ok, we went back to his house to play. john came over later and we played some tekken4 and watched rush hour 2 dvd. had food. just chilled. was fun! :D oh my... dahoon has the sexiest video card *_* makes me wanna cry! T_T
ano sa.. if you're keeping all your worries or concerns or whatever you wanna call them all inside yourself, do you think later on you'll regret not expressing them? i was thinking about that driving home, and was wondering if it would be regretted later on. what if not saying anything would cause more problems in the future? then again, what if saying something would make problems now?? .. i think i'm doing a dangerous amount of thinking.... tired for some reason. need sleep.... must do something about this lack of ftp space and money.
[Saturday, August 2, 2003]
[11:19 a.m.]
... i think i caught a cold... bakakaze tte yatsu...? but yeah, had no appetite lately, been sniffling, kinda sluggish... i have lots of htmling to do now that i know what i need to get done. un. oh, i finished a pic of a sohee (from RO) the other night. spent waaaay too long on this thing but i kinda like how the eyes came out. "she looks like jailbait." .....;;;; i can't get the image to show up on my blog cuz apparently a lot of hosts don't like it when you use their space to post pics somewhere else, so yeh... just copy paste this: geocities.com/kanojo_no_choco/sohee.jpg and that should work fine. naa, phi or steph, could i use some melon-pan space? i can't access aol ftp anymore cuz mom cancelled aol.
i got a letter from heidi today! XD XD XD IEEEEIIII!!!! thank you thank you thank you!!! made me want to cry T_T and we spent 3 hours on the phone just catching up and talking about stuff, neeee? AND I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WAITED HALF A YEAR TO TELL ME ALL THAT!!!! >_< .... so yes... been going to bh/k-town a LOT... yesterday was fun :D spent the afternoon with dahoon and then we met up with his friends and went to dinner, arcade, pool hall, sooljib~ :D haven't played ddr since i got down here... ._. kinda want to play but it's kinda hazukashii when i play by myself T_T it is painful to watch people play on light or standard... x_X;;;
i need a job. must acquire source of income. mom calls tea "boba". myahahhaahahahaha. no, i have not yet converted her into a boba drinker, but i'm working on that~ her and i are constantly at extremes of any mom/daughter relationship. we're either really good and getting along, or just on the edge of killing each other. it's great. ;;; kinda. but yeah.. still dunno when dad's coming back, hasn't contacted us or anything. truth be told, i'm enjoying it.
dood... my dreams have been nothing short of disturbing ever since i moved. getting shot in the stomach, being told that he was told "have your gf come over cuz she's cute", cell phone bill going into the $80s, bank account being negative.... geez.... and with so much construction going on over the weekdays, it's like i can't really fall asleep into a deep sleep after the sun comes up. i feel half awake when i dream. not nice. but yeh... i think i'll update on a daily basis cuz i keep losing track of stuff that happened.
[Thursday, July 31, 2003]
[3:44 p.m.]
::fuuuuu:: i just got back from an afternoon of running errands with mom. it was like a journey to the past when mom went to the bank to make some deposits/withdrawals and all that stuff, and took forever. how do banks take so long??? oh well... and then it was the many goings of back and forth from place to place in a car with a driver that likes to brake when there's a green light. why? we will never know. but i guess it's ok. we established that i could be home by 12. woot. and i got some badly needed shoes. iei! my mom wants me to go to norcal with her 6th-7th cuz she has ortho appt and wants to see my brother. fine with me, i can see people, too! only problem would be the 7hour drive up. and down. with mom. a;lskjf do i wanna do this?
my dad left. i dunno where he went. or when he's coming back. i dun even know if he was here last night. the montero's still out front. mom thinks he went to korea for a while. apparently he just left without saying anything cuz even my mom didn't know what was going on. wth. ::haa:: if my respect level for him could go any lower, it just did.
[Wednesday, July 30, 2003]
[12:13 a.m.]
oooooh my goodness i think today's gotta be the best day i had since i moved *_____* dahoon took me to a couple shopping centers XD did lots of window shopping and watched pirates of the caribbean (sp???) XD nde! we went to his house to watch a movie, and got a phone call soon after getting there to meet up for dinner, and we hung out with his friends for a few hours XD i hadn't laughed so hard in so long... :D wanna do again! again! XD XD
[Monday, July 28, 2003]
[6:25 p.m.]
i'm currently waiting for my cousin eugene to get here so we can go out to dinner. i haven't seen him in sooooo long~ :D ieeiiii~~ ugh.. stomach hurts. i dunno why. food might do me some bad....;;; x_X; lately i've been living off a bowl of rice a day.. or something... and occasionally some tea. some evening's i have fruit. why so little, you ask? prolly cuz i've pretty much been a vegetable since i got here and not too much energy has been used. most of the time. minus a day when i went to LA with dahoon and walked around shopping centers :D that was fun~ i shall go see him tomorrow, too XD as for the internet being on my comp... there's something wrong with the pc itself, and i was advised to get a new computer. .......... joy...? it'd be nice if i could get one that didn't sound like a motor at night. but dood... a new comp...? what a waste... ;_; ::haa:: hara hettaaa...
[Sunday, July 27, 2003]
[2:57 p.m.]
ok so since i haven't been able to get my internet working yet, i have to stick to my dad's comp if i wanna go online. things learned this past week or so:
= don't take the internet for granted. ever.
= don't take places being less than an hour away for granted. ever.
= you can live off a bowl of rice and a cup of tea for 2 days.
= being completely and utterly surrounded by your own ethnicity can be an extremely unnerving experience.
::haaa:: i'm adjusting to life here quite nicely. still haven't tried talking to anyone in the area, but i did meet dahoon's friends :D i like them~ they're funny :D went to k-town and other parts of LA/beverly hills, dun really know where they separate..;; nde.. i think my cousin's coming over sometime this week :D :D :D :D:D :D:D :D i haven't seen him in sooooo long!! XD IEIIIII~~ atoo... un... i think i'll go play piano considering i haven't played in forever. must get it tuned... and then i shall work on web layouts :D :D :D :D got 3 to work on! and auctions, too! myahaha~
[Friday, July 25, 2003]
[10:49 p.m.]
fuck... that was a really long entry and it got deleted... i shall start over!
YES, I'M ALIIIIIIIIIVE~!!!!! i survived my 7hour trip down to fullerton despite sore ass and drowsiness! it's... really hot in central cali... o_O get here, pass out pretty quick the first night, not much done but clean. the 2nd day was all unpacking and cleaning =_= then came the exploring! :D it's great! there's a shopping plaza just 2 blocks down the street and there's hella stuff like old navy, anchor blue, target, jamba juice, starbucks, 31, hallmark, bonnie la mie (sp?), pier 1, b&n, plus a buncha other stuff!! sooo convenient! XD the neighborhood's all spacious and clean and it's nice like cupertino/saratoga, even though there's hella construction going on nearby cuz the area's brand new...;; lots of dust... cars don't stay clean for too long x_X; i like the house, too! i don't see why mom was so depressed about moving here. i don't want to hear it either -_-; my room's the same size as the one before if not slightly bigger, and i have BLINDS!!!! XD IEEEEIIII!!! and i get the bathroom to myself! XD it's gunna be forever cleeeeean as long as my brothers not here :D woot! prince... i feel bad for cuz the yard is tiny.. ;_; my poor baby!!!
so yeh... the past couple days has been an emotional rollercoaster with much frustration with mom calling my downstairs to do stuff right as i get into my room to unpack my own junk after helping her with something else before that. that went on all day. it got really REALLY irritating. and i was getting restless to unpack everything cuz i was told when almost all the stuff was unpacked and put in place, i could go to LA. i was getting lonely and restless... michelle and van saved me though!! XD XD the 2nd night i was here, they arranged stuff and van made a surprise visit and gave me a map of the area and we chilled for a bit~ XD XD ieeeeiii~ first person i got to see ^_^
nde... today i finally got to escape from the house and go to LA!! XD plans were to meet dahoon in k-town. problem? he wasn't picking up his phone cuz he was sleeping. -_-; at 2. =_=; and i kinda passed the exit cuz i thought my dad said to exit off "westin" and not "western", and before i knew it, there was a sign that said "beverly hills next exit" and i was like "O_O;; i went too far!!! ....... maa ikka~ i'll just go straight to dahoon's, then~" only problem was.. i knew i was close, but i didn't know how exactly to get to his house. called michelle up to pull directions from yahoo, which didn't work too well, so we went onto mapquest! yeh.. i need to learn how to use my mileage meter -_-;; i'll try to make a habit of that. BUT YESH~ eventually got to dahoon's house. surprise! i met his parents. i don't like this feeling of discomfort when i meet parents. shorts and tanks make a baaad first impressions on most korean moms, if not all -_-; NDE! i got to meet vonce!! aka jim, james, jesus~ the 3 of us went to eat, walked around westwood for a bit, got some boba (must get used to socal lingo x_X;), checked out an arcade and game store, and then went to vonce's place to play ggxx! XD that was fun XD XD must train more! and then i had to come home -_-
driving around here is a lot easier than i thought it'd be~ streets are wide, drivers haven't gone psychotic (yet), changing lanes is easy...~~ though highway traffic sucks ass, it's smooth sailing when you remember to stay a good distance behind the car in front of you. left turns can be tricky...;; there are so many street lights at night, you can't miss anything o_O; and mom was worried about my getting lost in the dark -_-;; nande....? DOOD!! i have so many bug bites!! i count 8! must.. get ointment..
IEEEIIII~~ inspiration is coming to me! i can draw for next pitas layout!! which i shall do after my shower tonight! XD and and!! I MISS EVERYONE UP IN NORCAL!! T_T labuuu to yuuuu!! oh btw, i'm on my dad's comp right now. there's something up with my ethernet card so i gotta get a new one sometime soon, and THEN! I! SHALL! HAVE! DSL!!!!!! RO on my own comp!! *_________* ooooh just the thought of it makes me all warm and fuzzy inside! XD KYAHAHAHHAHAHAA!!! well then! this is mirae with her 3 days worth of ranting, signing out! NITENITE!! <3
[Tuesday, July 22, 2003]
[2:08 a.m.]
i spent my last day here with michelle and heidi. it was great fun with a sad feeling kinda lingering in the back of my mind... michelle and i went to get food for her unwanted fish >D and the clown fish in the tank at the pet store made her want to watch finding nemo (again), and since i'd never seen it, we took the chance to have me englightened~ i liked it a lot *_* waaaaaaaterrrrrrr~~~ SO YEH we went swimming after that since it was fuggin hot, and then i had to go to dinner. oooh, family dinner. first time since... april? benihana. good. ^_^ michelle came over afterwards and i gave her my leftovers, which was like... half the meal.. got heidi, and we went to tea~! heidi and i had to get home, so i took her home, and i michelle came back to my house since her car was here. we ended up talking till right about now... since 11...;; but it was fun! XD talking about stuff like astronomy and jumping out at passing cars acting like psychos, and... other... wonderful (?) happenings~ ^^; so i'm pretty much done packing... gotta shut the computer down now... ::haa:: early start tomorrow... er... later today... after that, it's gunna be a month before i get to see anyone again... and yes, michelle, we both know how long a month can be... ;_; gunna miss you guys so much..!! labuuu!!! ::gyuuuu::
[Sunday, July 20, 2003]
[9:11 p.m.]
oh my... long day... dahoon called this morning :D and then i fell back asleep after that. mom woke me up at 12 for some reason, and then i went to obon matsuri with heidi and michelle. it was fuckin hot. i felt sick. not even 2 hours passed before i decided to come home. heidi and i jumped into the pool for a while, finished furuba, and i took her home. since then, i've had to pack the rest of my room up, which isn't too bad- packing status: 90% done. my brother already moved out to his friend's house. when i came outta my room, there was no bed to be seen across the doorway. ::haaa:: i should get his cell phone number sometime before i go -_-
i dun think the fact that i'm moving has kicked in, despite the boxes stacked all around the house and seeing people to say bye, i still feel like i'll be here for a looong time. i'm betting it'll hit me when i get down to fullerton and realize that i can't just come up to tino for tea anytime i want ;_; paranoia still haunts me at night, as does bad mood during the day. tasuketeee....
[Sunday, July 20, 2003]
[12:21 a.m.]
soooooooo~ the past couple days i've been glued at the neck to heidi. michelle beibi was there half the time ^^ nde... can't think but i remember going to svgl, tea-ing at tap ex, swimming at my house, and having a sleepover. i fell asleep while the michelle and heidi watched furuba on my comp. heidi and i went to sf today to watch bad boys 2 with kien joe susan and thao. it was a good movie, yah~ i still wanna see pirates of the caribbean (...did i spell that right?) and t3. after the movie we headed over to kien's house for bbq. thanks so much to kien joe gordon eric riki thomas sam nancy pearl susan liz thao and anna for being there and making things so much fun~ and especially thanks to heidi cuz she made me go <3 labuuuu~~
myuu... so tomorrow's all for the obon matsuri for a few hours and then the rest reserved for packing. tuesday is slowly coming up. as long as i keep myself busy, it'll come faster. but at the same time things still get bad at night. not the past couple cuz heidi and michelle were here, but i'm alone now, and that makes things a little different. brain goes into parts of the thought process that shouldn't be ventured into. paranoia takes over, and fear takes an iron grip on me. other thoughts creep in and then i start to cry. ... auu..
[Friday, July 18, 2003]
[9:55 p.m.]
when you meet up with people you haven't seen for about a year, things can get interesting. heidi and i went to see ting and irene last night, and it was fun~ catching up at the brick planters around the corner of tapioca express till past midnight where we weren't supposed to be ^^;; twas great fun.
so, mirae, what'd you do today?
went out to tea with heidi and michelle. and i lost my child again.
i swear i'd make the worst mom in the world. lack of communication with a kid can prove devastating. btw, child = poring. i had 3. or something like that. they all disappeared before i knew it. and yes, i did feed them. ::haa:: other than that, i've been feeling kinda sick and antisocial the past coupla days. didn't want to see anyone but forced myself to do so. it was good for me. iei to listening to yourself once in a while. my stomach says otherwise. feels like there's cold acid in there... nausea can really kill your mood. i think my weekend's just about full. tomorrow's a bbq in sf, sunday is obon and finish packing, and monday... i hope i can see some more people cuz i be leaving tuesday morning. ugh... 7 hour drive ahead of me. xs... coffee...
[Wednesday, July 16, 2003]
[1:04 p.m.]
good morning. i played RO for the first time in a long time last night. pets are fun. my poring ran away for some reason. it kept saying "..." and i have no idea what that meant and it ran away after a while T_T i did feed it twice! dahoon freaked when i gave him a no recipient..;;; anyway...
i wasn't feeling too good when i woke up. had this dream where i was working out at a gym or something with a couple people and this one guy that would come in all the time kept talking to me and try getting close. everytime i reject him. everytime he'd back me against the wall and molest me. bastard. ryuta wouldn't help me, either. i ran to my car with my gym buddies behind me, and i sped off to my house in distress. the next thing i know it's the next morning and there's vomit on the staircase and my friends tell me "yeah you were pretty fucked up last night, man.. i didn't you know drink with your dad". ......... uh?!?!!?!?! wtf?!?!?! i didn't remember a single thing. i go into the kitchen, it's a fuckin mess with dirty dishes everywhere. i cut my hair off. there were some other things with going to somewhere that was supposedly ryuta's house, buncha tabs all over the place... i remember sitting down to watch a movie.
i woke up with a void deeper than the grand canyon in me. this feeling of loneliness is all too familiar. ::haaa:: looks like it's time for more packing.
[Tuesday, July 15, 2003]
[4:25 p.m.]
i remember a dream i had in oregon. snowball was in my room. under the little white shelf thingie that holds my printer, computer, and scanner. and he like... lived in my room o_O; i took him out for a drive.. and he came back to my room when we got home. whoa.. last night i had a disturbing dream where i was with a group of fbi people or something, and there was a vw bug on the lawn of a big building and there was a guy and girl in there. nde, the swat team or something invaded the car, bust the hood and windshield off, and examined the girl who wasn't feeling too good at the time. the next thing i know, they evac. why? cuz the girl's belly had burst open with her guts and a mass of something else i dunno what was lying in front of her. the guy sitting next to her fainted. i won't get into what happened after that.
so anyway... i was packing and irritated cuz my mom kept calling me back and forth to do things online that i couldn't do. muka... i forgot all of that when i sat to take a breather and across the room, i saw what i described to dahoon as "the most hideous spider the size of an eyeball and hairy like it had a lawn of its own growing on it, and it JUST. WOULDN'T. DIE." =_= yeh... i spazzed... it's more intense when you spaz alone. un. i think i'll... work on a new layout.
oh. xanga. forgot i had it.
[Monday, July 14, 2003]
[8:28 p.m.]
::entry deleted::
::start anew::
... i was so wired in the previous entry... so i'm FINALLY home from oregon, and i was stuck in sf all day cuz i had no ride back home for a while. there were some complications with returning the rental cars and such. i slept almost the whole drive from portland, most of the day at sf, and i'm about to go to bed again. why all this sleep, you ask? i have no idea. something's draining my energy tap like my consuming chocolate covered strawberries. must be the spectrum of emotions i've been going through in the last 24 hours. gordon gave me and heidi a ride home. thanks so much!! i know you said you weren't gunna drive for another week and i feel your pain on being chauffer. thanks again~ and just as i thought last week... i hate travel.... =_=
so let's see.. i have a week to pack the house, see people, and settle a bunch of stuff. by this time next week i'll be ready to drive my booty down to fullerton. i dunno if i mentioned this, but the flight to LA was cancelled the afternoon before i was supposed to leave portland cuz apparently my mom decided she'd want the house in fullerton. slightly... irritating... mom and dad are both on their way up from the house right now cuz they had to get papers signed and stuff. i will be living in fullerton. for how long, i do not know because i get this gut feeling that says "as soon as you start getting comfortable, something's gunna change and you're not gunna like it". lovely... g'nite..
[Sunday, July 13, 2003]
[1:30 p.m.]
arararara~~~ i be in oregon right now munching on a burger king whopper and in a hotel with net access! :D wowwww it's been so long since i've been on the computer *_____* it's soooo niiiiice~ <3 <3 <3 nde! so far what's been going on is just being stuck in a car for about 11-12 hours driving up here, being sleep deprived, and listening to successful people talk about how they got to where they are even through hella tough times and shtuffs :D it's inspiring! i'm getting to know some people better, too! like liz and alan~ liz is sooo sweet XD and she gave me a massage with lotion and everything! and she FED MEEEEE *_* love you forever! <3 and alan's just... he's 16 in a 25 year old body or something o_o; you look OLD, man!! jk.. so yeh... i'm having a good time! pumping lots of coffee into my system, sitting for hours at a time till my ass feels sore, lacking food, lacking sleep... it's great! well ok, not really, but what i'm learning totally makes up for it so it's ALL DAIJOUBI DAIJOUBI!! congrats to kien and robert for crossing stage~ :D oh yah, i went to a sunday service this morning for the first time since... spring leadership... that was interesting. dahoon, wish you were here... T_T miss everyone lots! i'll be home monday afternoonish~ sonja!
[Thursday, July 10, 2003]
[10:17 a.m.]
why. do things. always. have to fuckin change on me last minute?!!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!
4:49pm
ok... lotsa things happened in one day -_- woke up early (9am gasp!) and did some stuffs.. dun really remember what... nde, i helped mom pack the kitchen for a little bit, and kien was supposed to pick me up at 3 but stuff happened so he's coming at 6. mom wants me to go to LA with her to look at some apartments cuz apparently yesterday or something, she decided she didn't want to live with my dad so here i am, stuck in the middle again =_=# dad's got the house in fullerton, i guess.... mom wants somewhere in irvine or west LA. i'm to go look for a place with her on sunday. which is the middle of the family reunion function. considering it's in oregon, it'd be inconvenient to come back during the weekend, but it has to be asap so mom got me a flight sunday morning x_X as soon as i arrive at sjc, we're driving down to LA. freakishly, i'd rather live with mom than dad cuz she actually knows what she's doing. i'm not even gunna get into my dad =_= IEEEEEEIIIIIIIII I GET TO SEE DAHOON!!! XD XD XD XD
tonight i'm going to sf and then roadtripping up to oregon. sunday i'll be heading down to socal, and will come home on tuesday. ::haaa:: i think... i'm going to hate traveling for a while.....
[Wednesday, July 9, 2003]
[2:28 p.m.]
yah i like having these long adventures in my dreams ~_~ supposedly i went to ucsc to see heidi and play with her.. only...... practically all of akg was there, too o_O; heidi roomed with steph. michelle went over to play a lot. but yeh... the only part i remember is getting upset after hearing something, and running away to be alone but michelle and someone else kept following me and i went everywhere at once to try losing her T_T i think it worked after a while... but yeh.... there was a big tower-like place in the middle of campus and there were cafes and stuff in it, and a balcony too, so i went out there and disturbed a sleeping baby (which was freakish ugly btw) and it started crying and then the other one started crying (they were twins) and the mom asked me to watch them while she went to get something real quick. one of them was like "i'm going to kill you" and started spinning a web outta yarn! O_O IYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! i ran away. people were playing bingo inside. an old man made a pass at me. it was gross. other than that, i dun remember too much... ben-chan was there~ and tim-kun~ ato who else... i dun remember... as for today! i shall go to kevin's and watch movies all day! myahahah~~ i was gunna play RO since i attached myself to it pretty much as soon as i woke up, which was about 12... but then i was like NO! i wanna go out! and then i remembered KEVIN! :D so now i'm about to get me bootie outta the house~ but before that. i must get a drink.
[Wednesday, July 9, 2003]
[12:41 a.m.]
can't sleep.. and i was so tired today, too... dahoon gave me a wakeup call at 11, thanks beb <3 after vegetating for a bit, i took apart the bunk bed, got my car washed, and then went to work. i dun see why dad can't do things like taking beds apart, changing doorknobs, fixing chairs, among other things "normal" dads do. i guess i'm man of the house, yep. craving juice... so yeh work was slow as hell today, and i had forgotten what it was like to do girl-talk for some reason. what was it that girls talk about again? i asked alicia. her answer: sex, alcohol, boys (and how we hate them). i tried that. it felt unnatural.
so wed-thu i have no work, so tomorrow (technically today) i shall be chillin with kevin at his house and watch dvds and stuff~ wowwww hanging out with people *_* i feel like i haven't done that in a while... july4 was.. different.... so yeh... it felt so refreshing when i went out to tea with connie and kevin the other day *_* tanoshikatta naaa... i still wanna go shopping for jewelry. be a girly girl once in a while. iyada naaa... but yeh... i can feel my body ready to go into a coma or something, but my brain's so friggin active it's not even funny... ugh... RO...
[Monday, July 7, 2003]
[9:39 p.m.]
official moving info: july 22, 2003 to fullerton
[Monday, July 7, 2003]
[12:13 a.m.]
first off, OKKAERIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII to the people who just got back from AX ^_____^ i heard about masq.. that was too bad... but masq isn't everything, right? so it's all good, yah?? yoku ganbarimashita! otsukaresama!
daytime's been consisting of half vegetating half chillin with people. nighttime, RO and talking with dahoon. sleep goes between stuff somewhere... i shouldn't make this a habit... must keep normal sleeping patterns!! got work... speaking of which, i gotta tell boss i can't work after this week cuz i'll be moving. ...which brings to mind, the moving date is either the 21st or the 22nd of this month. that gives us 2 weeks to pack the whole house. iei...? totally mixed feelings on this cuz i dun wanna leave my friends up here, plus i grew up here and i'm comfortable here and and... T_T but then again most people are going down to socal for school in a couple months anyway, so it can't be that bad, right? the good side to going down? i can only think of one: i get to see dahoon!!! XD i miss you so much T_T mom's quite happy that i have a boyfriend. i think the whole "i've liked girls before" thing was really bothering her... as for dad, he's ok with it. cuz dahoon's korean. and can speak it.
fireworks were friday night, they were fuuuun *_* went to watch with julia jenny and tiffany (people from work) and we were lost for about an hour before we finally got to downtown sj. thanks to tiff for driving! saturday all i did was vegetate, though i went to get tea and took prince with me since he hasn't been out for a drive in a long time. i was backing out from le select when this woman backed into me with her minivan. ass. it was a dejavu type moment when i kicked the side of the bumper back into place. my poor car's taken so many dings and bangs... as for today technically yesterday, i went out to tea and mall with connie and kevin~ long time no seeee *_* watched seven at kevin's house afterwards, and then came home. OMGLDKFJ A;LSKJF ;SKFJ;LKD;F I HAD THE FREAKIN NASTIEST DREAM LAST NIGHT!! ::crinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggeeeeeeeeeeeeee:: i had no idea my dreams could get so ... violent /slkf ;sdlkfj;lffosaijf ;lsadjf f;d ..... ok done spazzing. ::haaaaaaa:: dorama tte kiraiya... tabun baitosaki no onnatachi to wa mou tsukiawan. ijou.
[Friday, July 4, 2003]
[9:20 a.m.]
whoa that was some weirdass dream... GAH!! lemme alone!! T_T i like my guy.... MY GUY!!! in the end, everything was all bright like morning sunshine in a room, and when i woke up, i realized it WAS the morning sunshine annoyingly shining into my eyes. i also realized i had slept the whole night through. che. .... nothing much has been going on, hence the lack of updates... been working, ROing, going to cosplay meetings, though i haven't made myself very useful... suimasen.. drove around all day yesterday, which was a long day in itself, and i actually went to a board plan for the first time in what... a month? it was nice seeing everyone again... kinda nostalgic ^^;;
nya~ so michelle phi steph jack kenji pekkle kevin lisa are all at ax. seeing how it's 9:20 in the morning, they're prolly putting on costumes getting ready to go hall cosplaying :D hope you guys have a great time XD atashi no bun made tanoshindekoi! heidi's prolly gone for hawaii already. denwa shiteee~ not like she'll get that.... dahoon'll most likely be sleeping till mid afternoon or so. moi? i have work till 3. which is fine, cuz i need money considering i won't have a job within a month for i need to pack and help move ._.
3:24pm
...wow... work was actually a lot of fun today :D julia alicia and berenice were working, nde, when julia came in, thas when all the crazy stuff started happening >_< alicia fed me chocolate XD XD labu foreverrr~~~ as for julia.... ^^;;; heh..heh... things can get pretty freaky with that girl ^_~ talkin dirty was never so much fun XD and my ass is off limits, woman! so are my boobs >_< we should totally go chill sometime on a day off and go to the mall or something :D
[Monday, June 30, 2003]
[1:06 a.m.]
::fuuuu::.... feeling better after some ro and some food. big news hit me today when my parents came back from socal. apparently the two have found a house. only thing is... we're to vacate our current house within a month. we might even have to leave in 2 weeks if things turn out that way. so... much... to... pack... and i'm not talking about my room cuz that part's a piece of cake. nanka... i feel kinda detached from everything... ::float... float...::
[Sunday, June 29, 2003]
[2:24 a.m.]
wow... the day took a funky turn of events. i went over to pekkle's to supposedly get some cosplay stuff done, and i kinda fell asleep for about an hour while waiting for jack and phi to get there. nde, there were no scissors to cut the wig with, so i came home to get some, and got the guys coke and cheezits while i was at it. as hungry and unenthusiastic as i was, i accepted the invitation from heidi joe and kien to go watch charlie's angels cuz i knew it'd be good for me. we went to in-n-out for dinner. wowww it's been so long since i hung out with them... o_o; it was fun :D was definitely good for me. just got home a little while back, took a nice cold shower, and now i'm all refreshed and ready to RO!! LETSU GOOOO!!
=2:04pm edit=
mm... another 6am phone call. i dun remember hearing it ring, or picking it up, or what we talked about... fell asleep on RO again =_= man.. regen takes too long! and popups piss the hell outta me cuz even though they get killed, it still minimizes the game and freezes the computer and ;FOIKJSD F;KLJ KJ ............ my brother's friends are over again. smoking weed again. getting headache again. ::haa:: i thought i got used to the smell... i need to keep occupied or i'll slip into depression again...... shinoooooo! hayaku ryuta to no you owaraseteeeeee! T_T tasuketeeeee!!
[Saturday, June 28, 2003]
[3:32 p.m.]
the days that i don't have work (which are plenty) are spent vegetating and being the most unproductive slug on this planet, and when i think to go out and do something, i can't step out of the house for fear of melting into a puddle of evaporating bodily fluids. considering i got only 4 hours of sleep i feel fine, though i'll prolly pass out really early tonight. nights are hot, mornings even hotter, and the days.... ugh... i'm totally ready for winter, thank you. i've been getting this feeling of anxiety/urgency in me, and i don't know why. it's like the worst feeling of being unprepared, and starting to get a little stressful. somehow, after being told, "stop being so depressed" my energy level went up. interesting how that worked...
[Friday, June 27, 2003]
[10:29 a.m.]
..... i told my RO party that i'd "brb" cuz i was changing while regenning, and.... kinda fell asleep ...... not on the floor -_- i was wondering why i was wearing my strapless and tank when i woke up (cuz it was uncomfortable as hell), and i was like O_O HOLY SHIT!! I'M STILL ON RO!! ... naturally, everyone left the party. my lamp got really hot from being on the whole night. the window's still open. i think my room's now the warmest one in the house. ::haa:: all that just made me forget the dream i had. another one about running away from something... maa ikkaa... ....i think i'm doing surprisingly well for the moment...
10:44am edit
i remember part of the dream i had!! i told my dad that i was going down to LA for a week to "hang out" with some people, and after giving it a moment of thought, he reluctantly said ok... SPEAKING OF WHICH!!! my parents are leaving today to go down and look at houses, and they'll be back sunday. SUNDAY. ......MOMMYYYYYY--- CAN I GOOO?!?! i won't bother you T_T i don't even have to stay at the motel you're staying in can i gooooooooo?!?!
..... she said no T_T she was like "you wanna come?" <--(she just invited me there btw) well.. yah kinda.... "o_O; why?? it'll be so boring!" well.. not to look at houses.. but to like.. play with friends? :D "nooo, you need to stay with jinho" ........... T_T hauuu.... apparently last time my parents were out for days and i wasn't here, my brother's friends came over with some drinks and they got caught by undercover police when they went out nearby. great...;; NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I WANNA GOOOOOO!!! T_T I'LL SACRIFICE MY SANITY IN A 7 HOUR CAR RIDE TO GO!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LPEASE PLASEPLSAEPASLEPELPSAELPLSAEEAPLAESPLPLEEEEEEEEEASE!!
...rejected again.... dammit....
[Wednesday, June 25, 2003]
[11:45 p.m.]
i had a funky ass dream last night where i was at a hotel/camp place on a cliff by the ocean, and there was a really big hot air balloon thingie that i was supposed to fly in and people i supposedly knew were helping me set it up and a storm came in and there was hella rain everywhere flying into the cabins and shit, and it was just a really big mess. there was another part i dun remember anymore. once again, my phone rang at 6 in the morning. of course i don't mind, but DOOD! GET SOME SLEEP!! >_< ::haa:: ...i had my first day of work in a week today. it was reeeeally slow. i'm guessing the weather had something to do with it... i filled out another pointless survey... pretty long, too..
YOUR:
name: mirae
age: 19
birthdate: march5
birthplace: san francisco
sex: female
location: currently in saratoga
blood type: B.... i think....???
zodiac: sakanasakanasakanaaaaaa~ swiiimmmm!!
height: 5'6"
weight: between 140-150 depending on the time of year..
hair color: black with light brown highlights...?
hair style: short. straightened.
eye color: dk brown
nationality: korean
language: english, japanese, korean, in that order, sadly.
email: kanojochan@hotmail.com
website: you're looking at it
school: currently none.
disposition: moody
hobbies: doodling, anime/manga, gaming
phobias: things with more than 6 legs, things that spaz like those f*ckin nasty thingies in silent hill 2, dolls, clowns, being alone
fetishes: mm collar shirt with top 2 buttons undone, and a hint of acqua di gio *_* ato.. other things, we won't get into ^^;;
bad habits: laziness, procrasination, shaking legs...;;
sleep patterns: 2-11... usually....;;
work habits: ha..? in school i never did my work. at work i do what is necessary
pet peeves: bad reception, drama queens
prize possession: akito. my harddrive.
personal quote: don't dwell on the past. it's not gunna change.
FAVORITES:
food: sushiiiii~~
drink: teaaaaaa~~ ato coffee and juice :D
icecream: mint choco~! rainbow sherbet's nice, too *_*
candy: chocoooooooooo!!!
color: blue green black
sport: soccer, bball
music: jpop, anime
tv show: ayashi no ceres, gto, fruits basket
movie: dun really have one...
game: RO XD hide-and-seek is also fun~
pastime: RO :D drawing, daydreaming, watching anime.... :D
hangout: tapioca express, pekkle's house, svgl
place in the house: my room
place in someone else's house: ____'s room... depends on who's house i'm at
season: fall/winter~ :D no heat stroke!
fish: ...ha????
brand names: eeeh... express, forever21, nautica, gap, etc...
people names: o_O; uhhhh..?? minjung's a cool name :P
FAMILY LIFE:
who do you live with?: parents and brother
how old?: brother's 17
what do you like about them?: eh... parents take care of me, brother.... he's funny
what pisses you off about them?: mom's nagging, dad's stupidity, brother... he doesn't really piss me off anymore o_O;
do you get along?: half-half...
pets?: OUJIIIIIII~~~ my beiiiiiibiiiiiiiii~~~ XD XD he's a dog.
what do you feed it?: dog food o_O;; he likes kimchi........;;;
any family trips?: not anymore noooooooo thank you =_= being forced to hawaii for 6 years is enough to make me not wanna go there again
dinner at the table or separate?: separate
share your room?: noooooooooooooo
share the bathroom?: yeh... with brother
which sink?: i get the right sink
who spends the most time in the bathroom?: brother -_- by far...
who cooks?: mom
who eats it?: everyone for the most part.. brother eats out a lot.. i wonder how he gets money for it? o_O;
SOCIAL LIFE:
how did you meet your best friend?: ...heidi i met in a 6th grade class, michelle i met through heidi, satoshi i met when i worked at mitsu...
what do you and your friends do as a group?: go to svgl, play games, watch movies... :P
do you get together often?: not really...
how did you meet your friends?: o_O; eh... mostly through steph and phi...?
how many date back to childhood?: one.
do you chat online a lot?: yeh
talk on the phone?: yeh
for how long?: anywhere between 30 seconds and an hour...
do you have webcam conferences, too?: no o_O;;
boy/girlfriend?: dahoon~ ::chuu::
do your parents know?: no
how did you get together?: eh.. it just.. kinda happened... o_O;
have you had sex?: .....no
are you always together?: i wish
is there drama?: nope~ XD
DO YOU:
smoke?: no
drink?: rarely
eat your vegetables?: some
exercise regularly?: does typing count?
get buried when you go to the beach?: nah.. having sand in your swimsuit's just... not comfortable...
like to dance?: hellllll yeah!! XD
play pool?: i like it :D
go hiking?: no
sing in the shower?: sometimes
like being in pictures?: half-half
snorkel in the pool?: ........wha?!
make whirpools in the jacuzzi?: ieeiiiii~~ michelleeeee!! XD
harass animals?: if blowing ouji's ear till he twitches, then yesh~
like kids?: NO
like adults?: ........sometimes
actually laugh when you type "lol"?: most of the time
get hit on by people you just met 2 minutes ago?: eh.. it takes 5 minutes
stalk people?: if i could, i'd stalk dahoon
THIS OR THAT:
sprite or 7up?: what's the difference, yo?
dark or light?: dark
sleep or food?: sleep
music or tv?: music
flowers. rose or dandelion?: rose
stuff. one or two?: one
the glass. half empty or half full?: broken?
you. realistic or idealistic?: idealisic
people. big group or small group?: small group
surroundings. loud or quiet?: quiet
snack. sweet or salty?: sweet!
music. classical or rock?: rock
chocolate. with or without nuts?: without
cars. rice or no rice?: no rice
rice. white or brown?: WHITE XD
CURRENT:
3 obsessions: RO, trying to get drawing up to par, RO
2 cravings: apple juice, cold choco drink
3 thoughts: it's hot... there's no music... i miss dahoon...
3 things on wish list: those shiny little pillcapsule-like things cats have on their collars instead of license tags, earpiece to talk on phone hands free, dahoon here.
2 big events: past- fanimecon, future- moving to socal
3 good things: hours at job, good dinner, burned cd (i was productive)
doing: filling out this friggin long survey...
wearing: socks, pants, tank, vest
listening to: the humming of my computer
mood: aside loneliness, i am completely apathetic to anything and everything
any last comments?: why did i just spend the past half hour filling this out?
[Tuesday, June 24, 2003]
[8:37 a.m.]
i was awoken by a phone call. at 6:06am. butitwasdahoonsoitsok!! he needs to learn to sleep at semi-normal hours -_-; i haven't been able to go back to sleep. kevin feels my pain, but he's ok cuz he's playing RO. that addicted...... addict..;; i have plans to go to the beach with heidi michelle and matt today, but i dun feel like doing anything... i plan on quitting my job in about a month and i need to get as much money as possible by then. grr... i'm hungry. need food.
=midnight edit=
yeh so the whole day i've been feeling kinda nyeh.. not wanting to do anything but vegetate, which i ended up not doing since i went to svgl with heidi michelle and matt to meet up with brian and bryant. we had good laughs, all was nice. i haven't laughed that hard in so long *_* it never ceases to amaze me how heidi and michelle can have so much fun with the simplest things... ii naa~ nde, i left early and phi called while i was driving home and was invited to pekkle's house, and jack was there, too. i left after less than an hour... all 3 were playing games..;;; dood, wtf, ro's getting rolled back to the 19th again. this sucks cuz i spent all morning making an archer on loki!!! ::haaaaaaa:: anyway... once i got home, i started working on this while eva ran on wmp:
there's a meaning to this picture that i didn't really mean to put in, but happened to go in. first pic i drew in weeks. i think it turned out ok~ dahoon, saranghaeyo!
[Monday, June 23, 2003]
[12:49 a.m.]
ooooooh my purin that was one of the longest weekends of my life. fanime was a slight disappointment as always... not many cosplayers, and not many people taking pics, sucky shopping, no events (minus masquerade which i missed), and the usual scary fanboys and fangirls... but it was fun cuz everyone was together! akg looked soooooo kyoot in their costumes!!! phi can look 25! o_O; that came as a shock... but yeh, a day felt like forever cuz i was going back and forth from phi's house to fanime to home area and lots went on everyday. haven't been able to sleep much but thas ok. dahoon left this morning to go home to socal. i smack myself for crying. i told myself i wouldn't. dammit. i pray that i can go a week without breaking down, cuz i last time i couldn't see him for a week, the 6th day i got REALLY irritable and went to see him as soon as humanely possible the 7th day... anyway............ there will be a fanime documentary coming soon hopefully... and an ax one too, hopefully... with lots of pictures and shtuffs. haa... ok... i need to sleep cuz i'm slipping deeper into unconsciousness as i type this and it's getting pretty hard to do anythign so i think i'm just gunna go and pass the fack out entienti.
[Wednesday, June 18, 2003]
[11:36 p.m.]
WOOOOO!! i finished ayane at 3am today!! the bow hangs limp like my misao bow, but i'm totally fine with that. and THANK YOU STEPHANIE for letting me use your clear bra strap! i won't have to worry about my dress falling off now~ :D good luck on your chipao! hopefully we won't have to start this one over. call me if you need help, yah? michelle, you too~
so yah today i went over to stephanie's house for the first time in a millenium or so, and HISASHIBURIIIIII!!! her room was so..... CLEAN O_O it was sho naisu~ and i helped her fit her chipao for lei-fang, but in the end she decided she wanted to start over from scratch, which was totally fine with me since then we could work with better material :D i got used to wearing my costume a bit today. i've discovered that i don't like obi =_= after that i went to watch shorinji, and then went out to dinner~ nyahaha it was fuuun~ and i was told the most wonderful thing *____* <3
OH YESH! i shall be going to fanime all three days since i'm paying for all 3 anyway, though saturday i think i'll be leaving early (like 7ish?) if my hoon's staying in town for dinner. ato, we need to figure out rides o_O; i'm willing to drive. just gotta know what time we wanna get there. hopefully early cuz i haven't registered yet o_o;; who's gunna be in line with me? :D?
[Tuesday, June 17, 2003]
[6:11 p.m.]
filling out a health insurance application has to be one of the most annoying things ever. it gets even more annoying with the mom nagging about things that need to be done around the house. on the side, i'm irritable, i have 3 costumes to finish and 3 days to do them in. slight pressure, but i'm getting stuff done, which is just the best way to relieve stress, yah? i got tomorrow off by miracle of alicia needing more hours and cindy helping us work things out, WOOT! an extra day of cosplaying.
btw, do we have fanime plans figured out? rides, time, when we're wearing what, stuff like that? i dunno about the rest of the group, but i'm only going fri-sat and saturday nite i gotta leave around 8-9ish....
ok... need to get working on cosplay. SKROOD, I AM.
[Sunday, June 15, 2003]
[10:21 p.m.]
uwaaaaaaaaaa~~~~~~~~~ i never knew a trip to great america could be so..... productive!! dahoon, shino, ryuta, kz, and i went on sooo many rides and we didn't have to wait more than 10-15 minutes for anything! rip roaring rapids being an exception... 30 mins? something like that, but dood, it was fuuuuun *_* went on all the coasters we could find, plus a bunch of random side rides. a lot of money was spent on games and drinks...;; the lemonade's really good :D nde, while i was having fun, the sun slowly turned me into pot roast and now i have 2 nasty tan lines and a pretty bad burn. i really REALLY hope the red goes down by the time fanime gets here.... just need to avoid being outside. anyway, after great america we had dinner at the chuukaen restaurant next to mitsu, and headed over to tapioca express. seems to be a common pattern whenever we get together. maa it's all good fun and games and stuff~ ^^ it was a really good day <3 i shall finish it off with some progress on cosplay!
[Saturday, June 14, 2003]
[12:07 a.m.]
the past couple days i've been running on low-power/wired mode from lack of sleep. i've been playing till the crack of dawn and enjoying myself. i woke up this morning feeling nauseous, though... helped dahoon, ryuta, and heidi move out. well... i was more helpful to heidi than at oakes, since most of their stuff was already done. but yeh.. heidi, you still owe me lunch~ after all the moving stuff got semi-settled, heidi, dahoon, ryuta, shino, michelle, and i all head out to lunch at baja fresh before separating our little group ways. i went with dahoon ryuta shino as the double date group, even though it wasn't a date. it's just something i call the group of us 4. nde, we went to mitsu and stuff... still felt sick... watched a boring ass movie that was supposed to be horror but it was just plain stupid... then arcade. ieeeeiiii we all met up with brian bryant and josh~ played around much, felt better after some games, and now i'm sitting at home soooo ready to hit the sack. i'll do all my things-to-think-about crap tomorrow.... shiznit..
[Thursday, June 12, 2003]
[10:39 a.m.]
dood time's just been flying the past couple days... wonder why... anyway! yeh been getting caught in RO a lot. .... a LOT.... and it's just no good on 56k, man. someone help me fix my dsl! T_T nde.... yesterday heidi came to get me so i could help her move some of her stuff back home. thing is she only brought a couple duffel bags...;;; so i guess i wasn't really needed ^^:; and then i was brought back to santa cruz with her cuz she didn't have time to take me home before work since we were running late. i was dropped off at oakes. oooh my goodness the beauty of RO on T3. ::droool...:: nde, on our way back to the car, just somehow, as heidi and i were both hopping over the railing (oh shit this is gunna be bad), my arm gets caught on her leg (this is NOT happening), and i'm sent flying over the rail with much pain upon landing (that did NOT just happen). it was.... the clumsiest thing i had ever done in my entire life. we were both laughing. though my left elbow was bleeding and my right thigh felt like it was in a compacter... my elbow didn't start hurting till about half way home. it was great...;; so now i'm about to go to work with a gimp leg and partially disfunctional right hand. life's great~
[Monday, June 9, 2003]
[11:00 a.m.]
i woke up around 5:30 for some odd reason... it wasn't natural, either. i was still dreaming!! che... but yeah, it was that fateful moment when i got started playing RO. not good... dahoon led me around the whole world (or what felt like it) and let me kill stuff. arigatou, sensei! i love the emots~ *_* i just.... died when a spider took 535 points off my hp. dood.... i dun even have 100 right now.... it was brutal. T_T and i didn't know how to bring myself back to life so i stopped there. hauu... and my mom busted herself into my room around 10 like something had happened, but the only thing she said was "get into sjsu and make sure you get in" and "when the health insurance goes through, you need to get your eyes checked cuz you're on the computer so much and you read stuff in the dark and you drive at night with sunglasses cuz the light hurts your eyes, there's definitely something wrong" ..... my eyes are fine, but ok... why not. ::fuaaaaa:: kinda tired but kinda not... i'm feeling kinda wired.. cosplay's gunna be interesting. and i have a line going across my screen. can't get it to go away. chikishou.
[Sunday, June 8, 2003]
[10:20 p.m.]
aa, full off lasagne and getting cramps from it. either that or it's menstrual cramps. either way, it hurts. i was gunna start playing RO today, but... there seems to be something trying to keep me from playing, cuz the confirmation email won't come and i can't open the program on the cd dahoon burned for me. kinda sucks... but mebe it's for my own good! besides, i have no time to RO right now, i have to get my ass moving on cosplay! so far i'm guessing ayane's at 25%, kasumi's at 15%, and okon hasn't even been touched... 11 days. GANBARUUUU!!! it's a good way to get my mind sorted out with all this stuff pulling me side to side...
