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just one truth (tada hitotsu no shinjitsu) by: okayu ryoutarou from: kizuna "you're all..." drama cd translated by: me~
since when did the two stand without an umbrella fear nothing and gaze at each other
even if i know it's wrong uncontrollable feelings overflow pouring rain, soaking skin please hold me like that time
i don't need anything anymore other than you i don't have anything to lose anywhere i believe in those thin bonds i just need to convey this feeling
if love is a crime why did those two meet, i wonder able to embrace your back for the first time and feel destiny
when did the rain stop the two started walking everything in the bag was thrown out to free their love
that's right, i don't need anything as long as you're here playfully holding hands the dear love bonds just this feeling understand and it'd be all right
if love is a crime dying here and now wouldn't be regrettable for the two the warmth of being held is the only reality
that's right, i don't need anything if you're here playfully holding hands the dear love bonds just this feeling understand and it'd be all right
if love is a crime dying here and now wouldn't be regrettable for the two the warmth of being held is the only reality
for the two the warmth of being held is the only reality
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|| Tuesday, September 17, 2002 ||
dude... i just read heidi's pitas and it makes me wanna go to the beach now... chikushou... i'll prolly end up going tomorrow night...;; it'd be funny coincidence to bump into you there, bobo.
placement testing.... sucks, man. i went up to trig in high school, but i took the algebra test cuz the calc test prerequisites were up to precalc. ONE LEVEL OFF, CHIKUSHOU!! but that's ok... ~_~;; i guess... the test was total math review for me x_X; i'm shocked i remembered a lot of the crap. it twisted my brain into odd angles, though... the english test took 2.5 hours... not cool. it was like sats all over again x_X; it was like LA all over again! X_X;;; the math only took half an hour thank god >_<
so... i get home and phi wants to go shopping~ steph came, too! it was AKG ALL TOGETHER FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A LOOOOONG TIME!! XD XD XD we went around random places getting random stuff and eating random food and had good laughs and ^_^ phi sucks at driving. tailgating, running a red light (seriously running it after it was red for about 5 seconds...;;;;), making right turn when people were u-turning into our lane X_X:;; man... it was scary... i felt safer in jack's car... but no, heidi's still worse. ~_~ actually.... i can't tell who's worse anymore...;; heidi's prolly gotten REALLY bad since she hasn't driven since................. i'm not gunna get into that...
so it was a good day with akg being all together before going off to college and stuff... i'm supposed to go out somewhere with satoshi in a bit but he's gotta call me back first and he's gotta first FIND HIS WAY to my house since i'm making him pick me up cuz i dun feel like driving ^_^ ::wPSH!!:: whipped! XD thas ok, man. he's cool~
i realized there are a lot of sketches on my desk that i don't want people seeing x_X; it's like... a porthole into my heart and mind... not cool for other people to see that, man. i think i'll get a nice thick sketchbook for that sometime. 9x12... black hard covers... nice paper... ::drool:: i saw those at the kino's stationary store in sf, but it was friggin expensive x_X;; i'll prolly just buy one online or something. uh... where was i going with this? nowhere... i used to type out what was on my mind, but it's harder to get things out when you have to draw to convey something.
x-box.. doa beach volleyball... doa3.... i want... starting to sound like a guy.... x_X; NYAHAHAHA i'm getting all excited about doing ff and yami cosplay now! XD KYAAA!! and doa, too!! i'm still debating on whether i should do ayane or lei-fang, though... i really like ayane's purple and black ninja costume, but i can't pull off the hair without doing major damage to my own x_X; unless somewhere somehow i find a really good wig. ...i dun like wigs, man... lei-fang i can pull off, but i don't like the outfit as much.. x_X; so much chest showing, man.. and... and... black leather... geh............;;;
ok i'm rambling. shall stop now.
i'm back at lee's house. registering for classes. considering the date, all the classes i wanted were full except for intermediate japanese. i get the feeling it's gunna be a really small class... art and history are both wait listed, but i'm gunna go to them anyway and see if i can still get in. iei. this is a lesson for next quarter: REGISTER EARLY, DAMMIT! yeah... mom's being a pain saying "transfering from a 2-year college to a 4-year college is really really hard, mirae. you don't understand how hard it is". uh.... like she would know? whatever...
i've been really tired lately and i think it's from lack of rest and too much stress. going to some quiet place to work on my layout or draw or something sounds really nice right about now. aa.. meditating... something i would try but i can't imagine myself actually getting any 'tranquility' into my system. i'd prolly end up stressing myself out even more over things that float around in my head. aa... i am a breaking toy. but i belong to noone. i'm breaking myself. WOOHOO! ... yeah this is about when i say good night. good night!
van just told me about how 2 girls died at csla. the school i was gunna go to. until just recently. wow.... so comforting, yah? apparently they were trying to get into a sorority and went to the beach where they got caught in a rip tide and drowned. stupid people... ANYWAY. i'm not going there anymore so all is GOOD. i'm home now, and my brain's a bit more collected than my previous entry, which was the result of having a satisfying dinner. the last one... left me in pain =_=;; but yeah... up to this point, my fall quarter schedule for school goes like this:
intermediate japanese, mon-fri 12:30-1:20pm
quite filling, yes? uh no. =_= i'm gunna try adding some more classes tomorrow when i can get to a cable modem. yesh! and i have a new pitas layout to make. i kinda sorta have what i want on it in mind, but i dunno. things like this always end up changing on me ^^; so far the past few layouts have been fanart, which have been fun to make and i've noticed they've all been girls...;;; i want some guy layouts but i'm no good at drawing guys unless i really get into the mood. ::sigh:: practice practice... i'll prolly make one in a few months.
whoaaa how nostalgic... i just thought of how during the winter on cold days, i'd come home from somewhere and there'd be a fire going in the fireplace and my dad would be watching football with some snacks in front of him while my mom made food in the kitchen and my brother would be out. it's then that i say hi, go up to my room, light a candle or two, turn on some music, plug in the ceiling xmas lights, and do something on my comp or draw. aaa.. ::frolics down memory lane:: anyway! it's quite a nice time of year and it gets even better toward christmas time when it's freezing outside but i come home to a warm house~ i was thinking about it when i was still decided to go to LA for school, and getting all sad about how i won't be able to pass my days like that anymore. BUT NOW THAT I'M STAYING HERE, I CAN!! KYAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
WOOHOO!!! it was a fun-filled weekend with jack and michelle, who came home to play! XD pekkle and heidi and phi also hung out with us~ first night was spent at pekkle's, 2nd at mine. it was like... 3 days with jack and michelle o_O; thas a lot of 2 people man... k i'm sounding stupid(er) so i'll get off that subject. BUT IT WAS FUN!! XD XD must do again! XD
heidi left for ucsc... ;_; and i called her last night to see how she was doing and stuff.. she seems to be doing ok. OMG i need to make a new layout! O_O ...... k that was random. and i have work tomorrow 10. that was random, too. but yeah OOHOHOHOHO this weekend was good! XD oh god... too.... sleepy... been lacking sleep from so much play..
OH!! jack, michelle, phi, and i were at togos having lunch today, and we were talking about cosplay stuff and we were planning out a YnM cosplay group! XD XD XD oh yeah, and main characters from finalfantasies! XD IEEEEEEEEEIIII!! i have much new costumes to make x_X; BUT IT'S ALL GOOD! from the impression i get, college students have more time than high school cuz high school's full time, man! and this quarter, i only have 1 class. 1 on waiting list. which is fine with me. i'm going into the school year SLOWLY. if i suddenly have a full schedule, knowing me, i'll prolly die. x_X; plus it's really late so the other classes i had in mind were full. which i dun mind too much, either.
WAAIIIII COSPLAY!! XD KYAHAHAHAHAHAHA the happiness about being able to stay home is coming back to me! XD now that i have something off my chest, i gotta make my new pitas layout, work on akg gallery, and and and... ehhttooo... pay my cellphone bill. gotta pay school fees, too. ettooo... there was something else i needed to do but i forget what. MAA IKKA! XD COSPLAY!! MAKES ME HAPPY!! XD XD i dunno why i'm so hyped about it this time, though. it inspires me to make my own clothes, too~ i still gotta make my black and white skirt that i designed about 5 months ago x_X;; must also send jello-butt her care package!! XD XD XDDDDDD hehe. heh. heh. heh. heh.... >D TONIKAKU!! gg now~ XD good mood but hella tired and i need sleep for work tomorrow >_< nyaaaaaaa!!!
sleeping things off is a good thing. i cried all i needed to and then went to bed. was tired. but yes, i'm feeling better now. jack's parents ended up freaking out, too, so he couldn't leave the house. bubble-butt's gunna fly here. so things turned out better. i'm hungry. need food. iei i'm wearing my new black shirt from shopping. i like. the tie-up lace comes undone pretty easily x_X; must...double knot... k, i have oil heating up in the kitchen.. time to eat!
i'm pissed. i was supposed to go to long beach with jack to pick up michelle and bring her up for the weekend. well mom's being an ass and doesn't want me to go. the other day the only thing she could say was "i don't want you to". in 2 days, the only thing she could come up with was "my friend's daughter got into an accident going to la". what. the. fuck. she thinks i care? and shut the hell up about this nonexistent "friend's daughter". she uses that shit all the time to try scaring me. and she told me "as long as you live in this house, you listen to what your parents tell you". i swear if she gives me that shit again i'm seriously moving out. my parents use that as a threat to try scaring me into doing what they say. i bet anything they'd try to stop me if i really did pack my things and leave, cuz i seriously have a place arranged. they give me that "if you're gunna live here" shit again, i'm out the door.
i've calmed down a bit after much venting and crying to jack and michelle over the phone... which i apologize for making you listen to.... took a shower and now i'm just thirsty. i have nothing to do tomorrow... i was supposed to work on saturday i still don't care. michelle's gunna be home and i wanna be there...
i went to sleep at 6:30ish in the morning today. i wasn't sleepy at all... though i dun think it took too long for me to sleep considering it was pretty bright...;; i had to get up around 11 to take a shower and go out with heidi and jack to register at de anza. i hadn't eaten anything since i work yesterday, so i was feeling sick and grumpy and needed something in my system. it was hot. my stomach couldn't handle real food. so off to jamba juice we go! after post office stuff. jack went to golfland while i drove heidi to drop stuff off and get pekkle from school. iei. kg met us all at golfland and we spent more time there than we meant to. maa.. ikka... then it was off for shopping at valley fair for college stuff and yeah... i spent more than i wanted to. but i'm happy with what i got! we were all rushed cuz heidi was looking for a million things and we had only 2 hours. in a girl's world, 2 hours at the mall is a VERY short time when you have things to get. yeah... bras are hard to find, man. good ones. that are comfortable and not padded and not 40 bucks each. grr... but i found them! yappari gap has the best ones. we ran into gary and jason and jen there, too~ and i want them cardigans!!
geh........ long day, man.... running off 5 hours of sleep isn't cool... jack and phi are spending the night at pekkle's tonight... ii naa... ;_; but i have work in the morning so it'd be very inconvenient for me to do so. plus i dunno if i'd even be allowed to stay over, so it's all good. besides, i think tonight i'd like to sleep in my own bed considering i spent so little time in it this morning =P oh my poor neglected bed... no, i'm not all here... see, i dun mind going to work so much cuz i won't have to cashier and deal with bitchy customers all day! and it's cooler in the back so i won't overheat in the front with the computers WHILE dealing with bitchy customers! IEEEEIII!! and i won't have to deal with tokiko, either! though... i'll be dealing with noriko...;;; man... steph's lucky cuz she gets to work in the wet department. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO roy and jon are gunna harrass the living daylights outta meeeee!!!! ;_; poking and teasing and scaring and..... hauuuuuuuuuuuuuuu ;;;;;_;;;;; somebody help... but but... after that, i need to get a lot of sleep cuz i'll be in a car for 6-7 hours the next morning. geh...
yeah.. i'm tired... long day, short sleep, on rag, not cool. feeling bad about spending all that money... i go sleep now... then it's off to the slave grounds.
unnn i told my mom the other morning that i'd be going to long beach to get jello-butt with jack and she was so against it. it was funny.
looks like she gave up again. =_= i be going to long beach this weekend. nde.. work was too long. i was dead half the time. and in a crappy ass mood, too. being on your rag isn't a good thing. satoshi got bored later on and we went out to chill for a bit. ended up going to the park in downtown saratoga and talked about random stuff. there was an orange tabby cat that kept following us...;; cute. friendly. i wanted to keep him. ._. but no... i wanna feed it next time i see it. ato... un. satoshi had a cigarette even though i told him not to, so as punishment, i made him find the way back to my house without my help ^_^ HAHAHHA he made so many circles XD it was fun~ XD XD XD since i have an almost full day tomorrow, i shall sleep in and take a shower and register for de anza in the afternoon and then go shopping. ugh... must not spend.... though i do need to get a bra. i'll just get one or two. =D clear plastic straps, beibi! XD hm.... i dun think i need another strapless... maa, if i can get the ones with clear plastic straps, it's be a convertible~ XD but... i like the bras at gap.... ._. maa..... ikka.... kaijuu!! coupons, yeah! XD XD
WARNING: MAY CONTAIN LOTS OF SWEARING
till we left.
i had to give heidi and phil a ride home, and i had to go an unfamiliar way to get to phil's house. well... a stop popped outta nowhere and i didn't even see it and i came to a really sudden stop. i apologize for any whiplashes though i doubt there were any. and conveniently cruising along the opposite side from me, was a cop car. yes, i'm serious. well, it followed me for a few turns, and when i got onto stevens creek, it pulled me over. an idiot white rookie cop turns on all the high lights on his fucking car and blinds the shit outta me with his car AND his flashlight, questioning where we're going and why i got pulled over and shit like that. well even when i told him i didn't see the stop sign cuz i don't go that particular back route, he ticketed me anyway taking his sweet fucking time. my speeding ticket from last summer only took 5 minutes tops, this idiot had to check with the other white bastard cops who pulled up behind him, and he had to check with them every time he fucking wrote something down, and it took 20 minutes to get his babysitters to check everything and ok it. the idiot didn't even know how long it had to be for me to able to take traffic school again. "8 months" 8 months? "yeah it's something like that." .....wth. the fuck didn't even know! he was trying to be all badass with a forcefull tone telling me to sign the ticket, but when i questioned him about going to court and fines and crap, his tone backed down like i bit him. FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!! that just pissed me off even more cuz he's STILL blinding me with his damn car and couldn't even keep me in line with my tone of voice. white people just piss me off even MORE now cuz the other cops that were behind him SPED like mad AND RAN A RED LIGHT just to pull someone else over! wtf. there were 5 cop cars i saw while i was pulled over. and there was another one that sped like crazy to pull over a miada. so total including me, there were 3 cars pulled over, plus 5 others speeding around like mad. ::SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH:: stupidity pisses me off. the cop was a stupid rookie. i have work tomorrow and i should be getting sleep but i can't cuz i'm so aggravated. goddamnit.
oh yes... still drama happening. but i guess it's only me cuz it's all internal crap. i know what i want but i can't have it cuz... just... cuz! things don't work out right now. must have 2 things handled before anything can happen. by that time, things might not even work. fack. how frustrating. it's like... one of two things weighing crappily heavy on my mind at the moment and what sucks even more is i dunno if things'll get better or worse if i talk about it ;_; so the only thing i can do right now is vent little by little and hope it's good enough but.. but.... auuuuuu.......
k i think i'll stop that before i start going insane. this weekend i plan on going down to long beach to pick up my darling with jack. iei! a couple days of fun and then it's back down to long beach to drop her off. jello-butt, by then you better be stronger so you can handle being down there!! >_< i have work tomorrow at 10 but i gotta get up at 9 cuz i have to straighten my hair and the earlier it is, the longer it takes for me to get up. thas ok, i get off at 5 so it should be all good. but steph's not working so it'll be boring ;_; i think after a couple weeks i'm gunna reduce my working to 4 days a week, 6 hours a day. ew only 24 hours of work... i hope i get a raise soon since i've been working for so long x_X; tonikaku i go bed now since i have to wake up early... nyeh...
well... the day's nearly over for my grandma and relatives. everyone's still downstairs talking and hanging out... i'm the lone wolf up in her room in front of her computer like nothing's changed. i feel like going to golfland. i want to hang out with michelle. i want to see jack. i want to talk to heidi. i want the old phi back. but that's prolly not gunna happen anytime soon.
nasakenai... i can't see the people i want to see and it's breaking me down. been crying every day for the past week. mebe that's why i've been so tired lately... especially at work...
remind me never to sleep on an empty stomach. it gives you weird dreams and you feel like $#!t when you wake up. i can't remember much about my dream, but it was really long and ax and rose red had something to do with it. it was supposed to be an ax thing, and we were at the back of the long beach convention center and as usual, there are lots of people walking in and out of the doors and stuff. and there's this one guy at a small table/booth type thing, and apparently he can read minds. so steph and i go up to him and ask him what he does, and he does a demonstration. steph thinks of something and he draws what she's thinking about. apparently lots of bishie...;;; i ask him what i'm thinking about, and he takes one look at me and says 'i can't read your mind. it's too..." and he makes a hand motion that said there's something blocking it. "it's like there's a wall keeping me from reading it" tte... i wonder if that's a bad thing..? ^^;;;; nde... pekkle got out from shopping and when i asked him to read me mind, he's like "if HE can't read your mind, how am I supposed to???" .....kowa.... OW pain... i should.... prolly eat something soon... stomach feels like it's burning x_X;
unun. my grandma's bday thingie is tomorrow so i don't have work, but at the same time i dun wanna stay here tonight cuz i'm prolly gunna get woken up at 9am by mom or something to help clean the house. GAH! NOOOO!!! i tried taking refuge somewhere else but it didn't work out. dammit. thas ok. i'll survive somehow.
oh yeah, i have your money, so if you wannit, come get it~ XD
man... i think having my grandma here's bad for my health. she sleeps downstairs in the piano room, and she naps a lot and sleeps a lot. at the same time, she's a light sleeper. so yeah, everytime i happen to be downstairs, she's sleeping. and it sucks cuz it's really hard to make myself a decent meal around my acquired dinnertime - 10pm or so - without waking her up or making any noise. so i end up getting rice and eating it with nori. i've been doing that for 3 nights now. and 3 days have passed where i haven't been eating well.. this sucks. i'm gunna whither away from malnutrition.... =_= not to mention stressing out isn't helping my health...
whoa..... it's almost 1 already.... ooooii hayaku kaette kooooiiii!! i wanna finish watching rose red! ;_; it's a pretty good movie (as of thus far), i recommend if you're into psychic type stuff and houses that are alive ^_^ stephen king, man... i would read his books if i didn't hate reading so much ^^;;; mebe i should try o_O; tonikaku i need to work on making myself look not so just-got-outta-bed-ish. something must've happened in my sleep i look worse than ever x_X; must've been all the crying last night. YOSHA!! LET'S WORK SOME MAGIC!!!
dammit. more crying. i seem to be crying a lot lately. and it's prolly not gunna get any better when you go to college, either. i had no idea i'd get so attached to michelle in such a short amount of time, either. i miss her like crazy cuz i'd look forward to playing with her after work or just hanging out when i got bored and it'd be almost an automatic thing to just hit the 6 on my cell and say "let's play!" but i can't do that anymore... in a way, this summer's one of the worst ones cuz i'm watching everyone go away. sure heidi's only 30-40 minutes away, but that still doesn't mean we can go have pearl milk tea on impulse. and on a side note, i think it'll be best for my emotional and mental health (or what's left of it) to not get into any special relationships unless i'm convinced things'll be stable and go somewhat smoothly. and..... i think deciding that just made my cynicism go up a lot more than i needed it to...;; man... what a depressing entry...
Take the Dessert Quiz
long boring day. work. ew. but lunch was cool cuz steph and i came home during our lunch break and had hiyashi chuuka and yakisoba~ then it was back to work. ew. well... mike wasn't there so that's a good point. but it was hot as hell. and i got a lot of dizzy spells from it. went into the freezer a couple times to cool off. didn't help much the 2nd time. de... after work i was taking steph home and i had to call heidi, gary, and satoshi cuz of some stuff x_X; i've had a lot of calls to make after work the past coupla nights. interesting....
KYAHAHAHAHAHAHA i'm so happy i get to stay here~ XD sore demo.... it's still really depressing to see all my friends go away (with the exception of a couple) to college... far far away... crap.... depressing myself x_X; tonikaku... i'm hungry so i'm gunna see if i can find anything to munch on without waking my grandma up. grr..
today was the first time i'd been in a good mood at work for a reeeeeeally long time. i wonder why.... i felt a little sick later on when my stomach felt restless and i had that anxious feeling all over my body ie body shaking, heart pounding, butterflies in stomach... but i dunno why.... it's annoying, too. it didn't help when eric came in and invited me to his house for his friend's bday party. =_= gary was there, too. he took me out for a drive, and when we came back, i sat in eric's hallway talking to matt for a while, which was interesting ^_^ i wanted to play doa3 again but people were piled in eric's room watching a drama from hongkong...;;
geh... i'm tired... work was not cool. and tonight gave me stuff to think about, crappit. oh yeah, i gotta register for deanza classes, too, huh... grr =_=; anyway... yeah... i'm gunna go and get some sleep since i feel pretty icky right now. ... .. . ... fruit.... . . . ...
yesterday was friday. the day before michelle went to college. and i had work. fack. but it was ok! after work was cool cuz michelle, heidi, pekkle, jack, and i rented movies from blockbuster and watched them at pekkle's house! =D i fell asleep... again...;; but yeah.. we left around 1ish to drop off michelle and my car was at her place. so.. yeah... lots of crying.. lots of hugging.. and i had to go..... i got home around 2. got in bed. and cried. i cried myself to sleep.
morning already? well.. yeah... it was 10:30. and... i had to go to work feeling like crap. work was crap. and i spent the entire day thinking about how i didn't want to go to csla for school. ghetto. and i didn't feel safe there. the people there are..... kinda..... hard to have a challenging conversation with. classrooms are minimally equipped.... and dood... getting places to run errands or have fun seems to be just a pain... ::haaaaa:: well... i came home and told my parents just that. plus the fact that there's no point in spending so much money in sending me to school when i'm gunna be miserable there and could prolly get higher quality education at DE ANZA---! so... they gave up. i'm going to de anza. WOOHOO!! and then i'll most likely transfer straight to aisc. er... lacd...?? i forget what it's called ^^;;; tonikaku, transferring there is just my plans for right now. it'll prolly change as time goes on. nyeh.... but yes, i'm happy now~ well.. for the most part... still gotta figure out some conflicting emotions, but i think it may be pms x_X; or i'm just trying to force myself to go one way when i can't feel that way. grr... anyway.... WEIGHT LIFTED OFF SHOULDERS!! XD KYAHAHAHAHA!!! FEELING GOOD, HAI!HAI!HAI!HAI!HAI!
uWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA today was a busy day o_O; first off my mom woke me up at 8 in an emergency-like state and said something along the lines of "mirae, you gotta help me! the kitchen sink flooded!" and i had to go down to help her dump the water out and clean the kitchen some... well.... that took about an hour to do... and then i had to rush myself to wash up and meet heidi at toga high to harrass teachers and students about being in school. i took kevin and ryo to jamba juice during 3rd period =_=; so after all that, i went to pick up my darling steph!!! we're going to friskooooo~ <3 <3 <3 but first i had to go home to pick up some money from dad..;; then.... OFF WE WENT!!! after filling the tank ^^;; so we got there without a problem in about half an hour, and there was the metreon~ we sat at the patio outside at the very top and doodled while talking about akg site and food and the song that was playing on the ground. "seagulls!"...;;; lol!! the way steph sang it was really funny! she also got her new cd player there~ we walked over to the atm down the block, too..;; rose = ross?? o_O;; tonikaku it was there and..... the crepe o' chocolat was ALSO there! o_O we had no idea what it sold cuz there were lots of bags/baskets inside, but thought it wouldn't hurt to check it out anyway. any store with "chocolate" in the name can't be THAT bad, ya know? ^^ well... we walk in and there's this counter/display thing with a ton of chocolates in it o_o;; so beautiful.. oh but then! there's this guy that pops out from nowhere, and...... he's..... OHSOGODDAMNHOT!!!!!!!! O_O i was speechless for a second there....;; perfect english, perfect french, perfect body, perfect face! GAH!!! and.. i was so incredibly tempted to take a picture of him, but... uncharacteristic of me-ly, i didn't. couldn't. ;_; too gorgeous for a camera! he made us a french style crepe~ chocolate with fresh strawberries <3_<3 plus powdered sugar. man... if only all that stuff wasn't in a plate and on some*one* else instead~ >_< nde.... steph and i walked back to metreon all happy and giggly XD from now on, frisko trips are on THURSDAYS! and we go to UNION SQUARE for crepes, not japantown! >_< so... yes, after that, we went to japantown~ well.... i was getting really desparate for my ayashi no ceres cd, but i couldn't find it anywhere and it was really depressing me. so i special ordered it. WOOT!!! got beboys magazine!!! XD XD XDDDDDDD and notebook, pencil, mirror, etc~ <3 dammit, kinos there had ciel and charade, too, but i couldn't afford 3 magazines ;_; after much looking around in the very humid and hot and not so airconditioned kinos stationary store, we headed back to the car and off we went to GHIRARDELLI SQUARE!! XD XD XDDDDD NEVER BEEN THERE BEFOOOOORE!!! HAPPYYYYYYYYY~<3<3<3<3<3<3 it was a beautiful little square of buildings thingie that had allll these choco stores and ;_; ;_; ;_; so beautifullllllllllll!!! we were handed free samples of choco left and right and *_* man it was good stuff! i got a bag of choco squares for my mom ^_^ iei~ <3 and since fisherman's wharf was close by, we walked there~ mannnnn i hadn't been there for sooo long! last time i went there was with my parents when i was young enough to go out with them and actually enjoy it o_O; long time ago... we walked all the way down to pier 39 and watched the sea lions there for a while ^_^ kekkou kawaikatta~ dinner was clam chowder! XD XD ::recalls a certain "BRING BACK CLAM CHOWDER!!" on the phone....:: yosha!!!! we're full, it's cold, and we still have one more place to go! >_< CASTRO STREET!! so off we go in my poor little civic to find the road of the fruity, and it takes a friggin while cuz of stupid one way streets. ::stress mark:: but we eventually get there!! and........ there's no parking......;; but there are lots of neon lights and yeah... it looks fairly normal - no straight couples making out on the sidewalks -_-; but then again it was dark and i was driving, so what do i know? =_=; tonikaku after about half an hour, we decided to just come home for the night since we could always go back when i go to get my ayashi no ceres cd! XD woot! traffic on the highway's not too bad~ back home in another half our or so~ at this point i've spent a hellava lot more money than i had intended. and i felt really $#tty about it..... gas, parking, and food was expensive crap. since it was only 9 when we got home, i thought it'd be nice to call up michelle and go out to play! GOLFLAND!! XD XD heidi was called up and she came, too! michelle and i played ddr for a while x_X one of the guys that work there gave us 8 tokens when he found out we ran outta arcade money o_O! yasashii!! so yeah, i'm still sore sticky nasty from playing so much. kim from work was there, too! he was with a friend playing pump~ 12, came home. gehhhhh... looooong day......
i have friggin work tomorrow. but it's at 2:30 so it should be ok. if i wake up at 1 to take a shower, it should be all good! uSHA!!! GANBARU ZOOOOO!!! ::throws fist into air and hits a victory pose:: "TSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!" XD
YAY frisko tomorrow with my darling kaijuu!!!! tehehehe~ hella looking forward to it ^_____^ nde, today was all play with bubble butt, heidi, pekkle, and jack~ went to mv to pick up pekkle to have lunch, and hung around in the japanese2 class that pekkle ta's for ^_^ michelle and i made a list of naughty words on the board like a vocab lesson KYAHAHAHAHAHA XD after school, everyone just came to my house to play more video games, after much irritation over why ddr shouldn't be played without the pad. grr.. who cares?? as long as people are having fun, it's ok, right?? it's just a game. ::haaaaa::
it was hot. i'm still kinda sticky and it's really gross. i actually did my hair different today o_o so proud of myself! ....k... that was irrelevant... ANYWAY! yesh, i'm gunna go draw now... ja!
there are very few things more irritating than being woken up by your cell phone ringing before noon and seeing "mom" written on the screen. wth. she called cuz she needed me to return a video to blockbuster and it was due by noon. fack. even though i slept reasonably early, i still felt like i napped for less than an hour. after much pissoffness, i returned the tape and vegetated in front of my computer (so what else is new?) till 3, which is when i went to go meet jack, michelle, and heidi at le select to have tea. they, plus pekkle decided to come to my house to play video games...;; dun ask. they all had to go home around dinnertime, and i was to go OUT for dinner. satoshi and i went to korea palace on stevens creek, and i hadn't been there since waaaaaay back when, so it was pretty nostalgic. the inside of it hella changed o_O; nde, we sat around in his car for a few hours just talking about life and stuff. it was 12:45 before i knew it, and i had to come home even though i didn't want to. =_= so since i've heard his voice for hours straight, bits and pieces of our conversation are floating around in my head... hence the strange-sounding statement at the top of the entry.
for some reason, even though i can relate to girls (since i AM one duh), i find it easier to talk to guys about personal stuff... i have no idea why, either. is there something wrong with me? i hope not ._. nyeh... humans. CHE!
no, i'm not on drugs. i didn't think playing doa3 and watching people play mahjong would be so interesting though. i think i played too much doa, though. my thumb kinda hurts. gary took me to eric's house to play. there were a LOT of people......;; nde, there was this one girl there, her nickname was "god", and she had her pet snake with her. it was really pretty and really cute cuz it rolled itself into a ball, hence the name, ball python. ato... a lot. of fanime staff members were there playing mahjong, card games, watching tv/anime, hanging out in rooms and just talking, and what not. it was more fun than it sounds. earlier today was pretty crappy. michelle spent the night (that was a good thing) but her phone rang early and i couldn't get back to sleep after that. we went to toga to harrass the students and teachers, and took ryo out to lunch. that was....interesting. it was hot. came home, and tried to clean off the egg from my car door (it got egged the other day) and i ended up scratching it like crazy. um... that's not too good. i still gotta take that thing in for maintainance. grr... will (hopefully) get info for that tomorrow. i really gotta do it soon though. since i was feeling a bit down, i decided to get some maccha tea with maccha jelly. good stuff, yep. i'm feeling pretty crappy at the moment. it was a fun night, but i think last night's lack of sleep is catching up to me. yes... shall go to sleep soon...
IEI phil's coming back on wednesday!!
hallon~ i got 12 hours of sleep after an LA trip and very little rest the past coupla days, but i'm all ok now~ i actually ended up spending a lot of money at work today o_O; lots of ramen and udon and snacks and drinks. i think it'll last me a few days. gotta pay cellphone bill tomorrow x_X; nde.... phil's in LA (hope you had fun at dland! =D), steph's in tahoe, jello butt's nowhere to be found, bobo's off somewhere, jack's at work, pekkle's in japan.... aa... and high school starts tomorrow. ^_^ i think i'll pay my now senior friends a visit, unun ^_^
i feel like cramming in tons of natsukashiiiii activities into whatever time i have left in this nice clean quiet asian community. LA made me realize how nice this place is ;_; drawing with anime going on the tv, waking up and reading manga in bed till late afternoon, driving to random places with utada hikaru's distance album playing, going to frisko at high high speeds.... haa... ~______~ natsukashiii~~~ i shall now flip through my manga ^_^
i just got back from my first time in LA. dood, when you've been raised here, that place looks ghetto as hell. the 7 hour drive down there wasn't all that great. i'm really really glad steph came with me, otherwise i woulda killed myself before i we even got there. =_=; dad drove. THANK YOU DADDY!!! traffic. sucks. shit. it's worse than alllll the freeway entries/exits put together around saratoga-cupertino-sanjose area x_X; i dun think i'll be taking my car with me till next year or something...;; the drivers drive hella freaky. it's like me times ten. x_X; bus. metro. good. i dun think i wanna go downtown again for a long while.. x_X;; i never actually noticed how bad the smog was. it didn't really bother me that i couldn't see the letters on buildings 10 miles away. we checked into a hotel in ktown of downtown LA....;;; dad got his own room, steph and i got one. it was pretty nice, though~ a twin size and queen in one room o_O; cable tv, lots of lamps X_X, room service that brought you GOOD KOREAN FOOD O_O aaa... steph and i watched comedy central for a good while and i couldn't sleep till 3something. dammit. i had to get up at 6:30 so i could go take the test at 8. i'm glad we left early. it was so hard to see cuz it was 7am and the sun was behind all the freeway signs and we ended up taking a wrong turn somewhere. but still got to school on time. thank GOD! campus was intimidating. big. shady looking people. very very very few asians. lots and lots of latinos and blacks. nyeh? i had to wait for the instructors to start letting people into the rooms. testing wasn't too terrible. it doesn't say much about my future school when i'm the first one outta there about 1.5 hours ahead of schedule. it was like the sats. i only talked to one person the entire time i was at the school. there was this one guy sitting next to me and he just sat there the entire time for the math section. his answer sheet had 5 out of 50 questions answered, and... that thing only went to up geometry level. few problems from trig, but thas it. damn.... if this keeps up, i might actually come out top of the class like steph and michelle said....;; it was really different cuz i've never seen so many latinos and blacks in one place before... o_O; so used to being surrounded by asians... maa, i'll adjust. i have to -_- watch me come back up during christmas vacation all shady with socal lingo X_x;; someone help...
i think something in me fell outta place while i was gone. running off 3 hours of sleep for the past couple of days isn't helping, either. i have no idea what's wrong with me, but whatever. it's not itching. i guess i'll find out later, yah? tehehehe~
yeh i wasn't feeling too good earlier today, but i reluctantly went with gaki to golfland to meet up with gary, who was gunna take us to milpitas golfland for a ddr freestyle thingie. well, coincidentally i met heidi on the road to gaki's house, and she ended up coming with us. gary and james (mini gary? ^^;) met us at golfland and off we went to the traffic filled ride to milpitas~ at first i just kinda sat back and watched and stuff... but i got sick of it and decided to just start talking to people before i died of boredom =_= i talked with gary most of the night =D he's the guy i previously always referred to as 'the guy with bleached hair and always wore all white and really good at ddr' ^_^ i watched a lot of people freestyle, like james (he's pretty cute XD), jc (he's really funny XD), jason (he's really good o_O), aj (he's also really good O_O), and others on the side i can't really remember ^^;;; GOMENNASAAAAII but yeah~ it turned out to be a fun day~ dood, pizza there was $1 for a slice and you get a free drink! i got a pepsi.......... and actually drank it O_O; again, i'm reminded of why i don't like soda =_=;;; aaa.. it was a good day~ ^_^
nde tomorrow morning steph's coming over so we can go to LA. dad's driving. i kinda feel bad for him driving alllllll that way down there x_X; i just wanna get that damn test over with =_= speaking of which, i still need to get directions on how to get there... i have no idea what next week's work schedule is for me. GAH!! i dun wanna work!! >_< but but but I NEED MONEY!! oh yeah! i got money today so my bank statement's not NEGATIVE anymore!! WOOHOO!! ok..... i think i'm done now ^^;;; IEEEEI~~ <3
oh yeah, i made a new ring tone last night. and i uploaded the papaya video from ax....... ::shudder:: i shall share the joy and laughter and sheer fruitiness of it all. download at your own risk. =_=
i dreamt about graduation. but it was indoors in a place that had steps that went up to the walls like bleachers, only they looked like the choir steps at churches. we were rehearsing and people were doing it the way they were supposed to, but the next thing i know, we're at the real thing and PARENTS are friggin sitting in the bleachers and you're supposed to sit next to them. something we didn't rehearse. and i was really confused and didn't know what to do but i didn't wanna screw up and look like an idiot so yeah... i just sat down next to them. ugh.. being so close was never something i enjoyed... it's weird how there was no audience... just parents and their kids...; my brother's friend was there... and he said something about FINALLY graduating after too many years (this dood's only 16 or 17 or so...) and apparently in the dream he was there cuz he was waiting for someone to graduate, too...;;; and he was standing in the middle of the aisle just kinda being happy and announcing it to the world and i thought it was kinda funny. next thing i know, i wake up in a white room that looks like a hospital room. somehow i figured out it was the mental ward. o_O; there was a box next to me and it had some of my stuff and my parents' graduation gift to me. there were handmade paper dolls that looked like anime chara. ;;; i dun remember if those were supposed to be the present though;;; then the nurse came in and said she was gunna watch me and "help" me for a while to see if i can be mentally rehabilitated. didn't tell me why i was there though... ;;;;;
i dun remember anything else. uh.. iei? does this mean i'm crazy and i dunno it? ^^;;; nyeh.. whatever. i feel a little better compared to last night, but i still look like i died. yay walking corpse! ugh.. need food...
i dun think i'll be seeing anyone tomorrow... which also means i won't be going out. i may need to just lay in bed and sleep the whole day. cuz i feel like crap (understatement). no, it's not pms anymore. gaki, i prolly won't be going to milpitas tomorrow unless i feel better... give me a call sometime in the afternoon. i should know by then. tonikaku right now... i should go to bed...
i have about a month left of my summer and that doesn't count the days i have to work ;_; i'm just starting to meet people that live up here and it makes me all depressed about how i'm going down south for school ;_; but thas ok, ne?? i know some people down south, too, and kg and kevin and kenji and my darling jello's all going down near me so it's ok, ne?? they're all within an hour's drive... knowing the way i drive... so steph, phil, heidi, pekkle, chris, michelle, jack and i all went to great america yesterday~ XD it was fuuuunnnn~~~~ nde, afterwards we went to chili's for dinner. man... i didn't think talking about signs would make me glomp onto phil so much >_< but dinner was great! XD heidi and michelle wanted to finish ayashi no ceres so i let them come over and spend the night. jack and philana ended up spending the night, too ^^; didn't sleep till 3something? the morning started off with lots of wrestling and slapping and fighting, and we were all pretty tired after that (except phil, who didn't engage in anything =_=). i banged my head on the corner of the laundry basket while wrestling jack, and since that threw me off a bit and hurt like crazy, i made him buy me pearl milk tea ^____^ all was good though~ my hearing's still normal~ i..think...;;;
aa... everyone's going to school, man... michelle's leaving soon, kenji's pretty much gone for me cuz i won't be seeing him for at least a month... hauuu.... depressing. reality hits hard, yah? my week's already pretty full o_O; and i didn't even plan on it. i thought it'd be a totally empty week, but it's nice to know people still wanna go places even after spending nearly every day with each other for the past month or so. it's a really long "final" goodbye thing i guess ^^;;;
yeah... not exactly what i'd call open, but oh well! it's ok i guess ~_~ i guess tonight i'll draw. unless someone calls to do something that doesn't require me to spend money ^_^
this is not cool. last night was not cool. i watched signs with satoshi and that was a BAD thing cuz i was actually got scared. dammit. things like that usually wouldn't scare me. i wonder why it did this time? x_X; pms sensitivity? or mebe i just got weaker ;_; i'm just glad i restrained myself from grabbing onto him. and i made michelle spend the night and i was GYUUUUUing onto her when i fell asleep. i hope she was breathing ok.. either way i dun wanna look at any tvs. or watch home videos. or wander around the dark with a flashlight in a basement to see someone looking at me and saying "..what?". oh god.. that video was NOT COOL. fack. i'm so weak ;;;_;;; demo na demo na, even though i was scared outta my wits, it was a lot of fun ^_^
today's great america day. IEI! something to get my mind off.... thi... actually nevermind =_=; grr... ANYWAY! yeah i'm gunna go and have fun as much as i can!! >_< uuu...
yeah... people.... are odd. i feel really nasty and sticky cuz it was just SO FRIGGIN HOT at work and i wasn't feel too great with a strapless bra cuz those things just SQUEEZE you and are lined with plastic on the inside so it just feels EVEN WORSE when you're hot and sweaty and UGH!!! and as some of you know, when i'm hot, i'm in a bad mood cuz i'm tired and sluggish and yeah... it wasn't fun. i live life 1 hour at a time at work. it helps. eh.. there was something else i was gunna say but i forget what. tomorrow's great america! iei~ michelle might come over and stay the night. grr... just remembered i need money for entry, gas, and food. i'm screwed if dad's not willing to lend me some... fack. i also need to figure out what non-white tops i have that i can wear with a black bra cuz a lot of the non-white tops i have require a strapless bra. kuso. i dun wanna wear that thing for more than a day at a time. i hope my period's not too heavy, either =_=; shouldn't be... 2nd day... right? i think? either way i should be done in a day or two. then hormones will take a day to balance out, and i'll be normal after that. ...a week later i shall start pmsing =_=# again.
it's only 9something, but i feel like it's 11something... shower and then.. draw? or go to park...? must... decide... mebe both! =D ok... i'm just rambling now, i'll shutup. =_=;
ok! glad to be home!! gah... days just get ickier and ickier... first off i'm woken up by my dogs barking like mad cuz my dad's going off to work and they wanna see him off and get a biscuit =_=# kuso... and then my mom came in to ask if my brother could eat my food. i had to answer her twice. chikushou... i finally woke up and went to pick up steph and then we went to work. oh btw, my rag started this morning. so my stomach gradually started hurting more and more as lunctime came. i took midol for the first time. it works. phil, you should use it when you get cramps. i got to know jeff some while i was on one of my breaks~ iei!
other than that, this is just another laundry list of what's been going on in my daily life. how utterly boring. i swear i'm trying to stick something more meaningful in here, but it's always the same thing. and who KNOWS who reads this thing, so i can't really put down my deepest secrets x_X; nnn... something useful... ehhh... nanimo naiiiii ;_; OH! i took pictures of roy at work while he was eating LOL! ok that was useless... ;_; GOMENNASAAAIIII!! i'm gunna... go draw or something... sitting in the park sounds good. aa.. tabacco... i think michelle's right. i'll prolly start smoking by the time i get into college, and if not that early, definitely within a few months... =_= i've never done it before and i'm getting cravings. how odd... tonikaku... i go now...
WOOHOO finally got new layout up! nde ne! work took forever to finish today, but michelle and kenji came to mitsu to "bum around" ^_^ so that gave me some genki =P after i took steph home, nii-chan took me out to see xXx. people were right. the action's good, but the plot's kinda.... eh..;; so yeah... i really liked the action scenes ^_^
and DOOD!! the moon was RED!!! O_O i've never seen it actually red before, so i'm pretty excited about it o_O; dun mind me.... i'm still a sheltered little girl >_< tonikaku! yes, since i got my screen calibrated and stuff before coloring the background, hopefully things'll come out more to my liking, yes? ^_^ sunday's GREAT AMERICA DAY!! O_O THIS SUNDAY!! oh lord.... help x_X;;
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