:: Wednesday, May 30, 2001 :: 10:08 p.m. ::
enough web designing! my designs are so simple and unoriginal and it's not faaaaairrrrrrrr ;_; dooood why can't i be creativvvvvveeeee?????? i just finished my new gallery index layout, but i'm not publishing it till the new akg revamped page. i hope that's soon.

should make new pitas layout, too... out of all the layouts i've had, i think i like the green theme with ken on it the best. maa, ii... i'm unusually tired... and i haven't even started hw yet... thas ok. i have 1st period tomorrow.

must get plane tickets.
must get domain name.
must work on cosplay.
must study for finals.

:: Wednesday, May 30, 2001 :: 5:03 p.m. ::
hot... hot.. HOT!! i had to pick up a bag in irene's car, and it was literally nearly melting in there! i left my windows open a bit so it wasn't as bad.

i was supposed to get trained at mitsuwa today, but tom wasn't there so i couldn't get anything done. the lady there didn't know what to do, so she said i should go back tomorrow after school. ::haa:: thank god parents are paying for gas. =_=

akg revamp... ax planning... study for finals...

:: Tuesday, May 29, 2001 :: 5:25 p.m. ::
wow, i haven't updated in a while. o_o; ok... let's see.. weekend. sunday was ok... what did i do all day? o_O; i remember going joyriding with gaki for a bit after going to the arcade. then we went to get something to eat at jack in the box. thas about it.

monday was cool. went to gaki's house in the morning, met up with kaijuu, and we all went cloth shopping for costumes for AX2001. ^_^ we left later than planned, and got back in time for kaijuu's dad to pick her up, which was a miracle considering the lines at the store took FOREVER and we took a while finding the right kind of cloth. >_< so yeah. kaijuu left as soon as we got back to gaki's house. i left around 9 evening.

school was slow. a lot of people were late cuz they thought it was monday (school starts 35 mins late on mon and wed at my school). i did really bad on my math test from friday, went to mitsuwa with heidi for lunch and ran ended up being there. ::muka::

came home, and thomas-san from mitsuwa had called while i was there. ^^;; I'M HIRED AT MITSUWAAAA!! XD XD XD so yeah, i gotta go in tomorrow to practice register. tehe. heidi might be coming with me to turn in her work permit. ran better not be there like he was today. the dork wanted to drive my precious heidi around cuz he got a car AND DOESN'T EVEN HAVE HIS LICENSE (DON'T compare me to him!). if not ride, he wanted her to DRIVE it. i forbid her to get into a car with him, so she didn't. =_=

SAT scores came. not telling. must register for next SATs. must do better.

must do akg. must get plane tickets. must study for finals.

:: Saturday, May 26, 2001 :: 09:36 p.m. ::
another day full of driving. ::sigh:: i was JUST about to go to the mall when ran called and said "let's go to the beach". it sounded appealing so i went to the beach with him and heidi. it was friggin crowded, and the parking lots were all full. i got sick of it all. so we decided to go to the mall instead. i used up 1/4 of my tank. heidi and i tried on various various prom dresses cuz we suddenly had the urge to dress up. it was fun.

7:00 came and we were at sushi boat waiting for our food when ran said "i have to be home by 7:30". what. the. hell. food hasn't even come yet, and it takes 15 mins to get home. that left us 15 mins to eat, assuming that the food came right that second, which it didn't. i stressed about getting the idiot home while eating, which left my stomach in no condition to take anything, but i ate anyway. i got sick after that.

on our way home, we stopped by mitsuwa cuz i needed to know if gaki had to get picked up after work or my conscience wouldn't rest. she said she didn't know. great. i dropped off ran and called solomon when i got home. no answer. wonderful. so i went to mitsuwa and sat there for about 5 minutes, when solomon showed up. fantastic. more wasted gas. =_=

came home. feeling bad about all that wasted gas. gotta pick up my dork brother at his friend's house cuz he's too lazy to walk 10 minutes. dammit.

:: Thursday, May 24, 2001 :: 10:21 p.m. ::
my day WAS ok until i came home. my dad asked "did you have dinner?" i said yeah. but i was tired, hot, and half asleep, and still irritated at him cuz of his analness about the job issue, so it was a quiet, worn-down "yeah". i came upstairs, and my mom came in and got on my case about my "attitude" and asked a bunch of supposed-to-be-rhetorical questions she thinks i haven't thought about and don't know the answer to and she thinks she's got me cornered with them. and because they're so stupid, i never answer them.

then she SOMEHOW brings college into the issue. what the FUCK does my attitude towards my parents have ANY FUCKING THING to do with college?! NOTHING! she thinks that i'm gunna be LIVING HERE when/if i go to a 2-year college instead of 4-year. she thinks she can make me work hard when i go to college. hell no. and she says i have a "bad attitude" when i'm being unemotional with them. what the fuck is that?! i have to be happy and cheerful and lovey lovey every time i see them?? yeah, they got me a car- i'm grateful for that, i seriously am. but i'm starting to get to the point where the little things are pushing me further to the edge, and i don't know how long i can balance there before i fall over and completely lose it. i can only stand the stupid pointless hypocritical fucked-up lectures and yellings for so many years.

along with the shit my mom gives me everyday, there's emotion strain on me regaurding some people, and it's practically killing me. ::siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh:: but then again, a lot of it could be pms. if it isn't, i'm going to be troubled for a long time.

:: Thursday, May 24, 2001 :: 12:07 a.m. ::
jack wa atashi no aniki. ^_^ mou koibito janakute, kareshi demo nai. atashi no aniki da yo! daaaaaaaaisuki na anikiii~ XD kore de shiawase~! ufufufufu!~

:: Wednesday, May 23, 2001 :: 5:50 p.m. ::
i was really space-outish today. i went to mitsuwa with heidi cuz she wanted to get a job app to work there. i also had to turn in my actual work permit and put down some references. thomas-san is really cool. and michael-san's also really cool, he gave me and heidi little bags of crackers. it'd be fun if we could both work there along with gaki all during the same shifts.

ran's applying for the same place...;; ran and i have this little like-hate thing going on. we insult each other and hit each other and stuff, but we actually get along. interesting..;; more spice to life. nice. he treated me and heidi to pearl milk tea and gave us a buncha his chicken today. i gave him a ride home.

most of the time driving, heidi and ran were talking (in chinese =_=) and i just kinda drifted into my own little world. every now and then they'd pull me out and we'd talk, and then i'd blank out again. strangely, i drive better when i space out. hn.

too much thinking in my own little world. tired. feet hurt from sandals. mind not working. i think i'll go space out some more.

:: Tuesday, May 22, 2001 :: 10:18p.m. ::
"nuna (big sister), we need to leave in 10 mins". take brother to school. come home, get ready for school. go fill up gas, get jamba juice, cruise to school. go to library and idiot sam tried to take my jamba juice in the library when it wasn't supposed to be there in the first place, and the librarian saw it and made me put it in the hallway.

took ting and connie off campus for lunch, even though it's closed campus this week and even though connie's an underclassman and even though i'm illegal. do i care? no. chicken never tasted better.

had an interview with sensei today cuz she wants to check what speaking level of japanese everyone's in. i think i did well.

mom calls from downstairs, "MIRAAAAAAE!!!" ::snaps awake, wha??? it's morning already?! shit, i'm gunna be late for school AGAIN?! looks at clock:: 4:30pm. oh. knew that. what does woman want this time? ... pick brother up from school. picked him up, tried going back to sleep.

took time to think about life and found that i'm getting a bit disturbed by a certain someone's lack of trust in me.

studied chem.

:: Monday, May 21, 2001 :: 10:13 p.m. ::
i thought getting a job was a good thing. i thought it would show that i'm a bit more independent, and i wouldn't have to keep asking my parents for money, and that i could be more responsible. my mom thought i could do it. she let me work on weekends. this struck me as a good thing. this made me happy. i got my job app filled out for mitsuwa, and all i need now is the actual work permit from school. then i'm all set.

apparently, when i think something is a good thing and i like the idea of it, one of my parents doesn't think it's a good thing and shoots me down. let's take today for example. i happily told dad that i applied for a job at mitsuwa. he was not happy about it. "finals are coming up and you need to study for those. you can get a job after finals are over". i was not happy about that.

since when was he the parent with the stick up the ass? i thought my mom was supposed to be that one. but they seemed to have switched places this time, and i tried to compromise with dad; let me work for the 2 weekends before finals, and i'll study all week and weekend before finals, cuz i'm not going to start studying for finals right now. i don't even know what's going to be on it. teachers give out review packets the week before. all this ended up with my crying and dad feeling bad about it, but he still hadn't said it was ok to work. why did i cry? because i want the job. why do i want it so bad that it would make me cry? aside from needing money, there are other reasons that i've not told anyone about, and will not tell anyone about. dad asked the same questions, and i told him i'm not open about it. he doesn't understand, but he should understand that if i were friggin crying about a job, it's a pretty big deal, cuz i don't cry in front of my parents. ever.

i know whoever's reading this is thinking "you're not that responsible to begin with" or "school should come first" or "just wait a few weeks, it's not going to kill you" or "dude, you just got your car, now you want a job and you're crying cuz you can't have one?! i don't even have a car! stop being such a spoiled ass!" or something pertaining to one, some, or all of the above. do i care? no. because i already know all that. but there are deeper reasons for needing this job; those are not up for discussion.

i'm feeling like crap.

:: Monday, May 21, 2001 :: 12:16 a.m. ::
heidi's piano recital was good! >_< she played the prologue to the recital, and 2 more pieces near the end. she's sooo good! other than that, i didn't go anywhere. i stayed home like a good girl and did my hw, planned ax, cleaned my room (sorta), and.. yeah.. i think thas it. my room's a mess again. and the cleaners are coming tomorrow morning! ;_; must clean room. work work work.

:: Sunday, May 20, 2001 :: 02:30 p.m. ::
HYAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! O_O!!! it's already 2:30 and i haven't started doing my work!!! >_< and as always, my body won't let me sleep past noon, no matter how late i sleep! ;_; pity me, i say pity me, fool! XO (mirae's not feeling well).

tonikaku~~~ heidi called a few minutes ago and asked me to go to her piano recital at 4 today~ XD last year's was really good, too~ <3

mmm.. chicken... and AX PLANNING!!! XD a bit stressful, but i LOVE IT! XD KYAHAHAAHAA!!! now and I FINALLY CAN HAVE A JOB and gaki is so sure that i'll get hired at mitsuwa, and I GET MONEY!! XD and I HAVE A CAR SO I CAN DRIVE MYSELF TO WORK!! XD XD AND STUDY STUDY STUDYYYY!! XD XD

fuuma: ...she's happy about studying?!
mirae: haiii! XD GANBAROUUU to omotteru! HELLA YARUKI! XD
fuuma: ... you KNOW there's something wrong with her if she starts going happy about schoolwork.
mirae: XO i'm FINE thank you!
fuuma: it's ok. i'll make you feel better. ::daki::
mirae: ^__________________^ shiawaseeee....

:: Sunday, May 20, 2001 :: 03:00 a.m. ::
o_o;;; been doing ax planning with gaki and kaijuu since about 9:15... almost 6 hours of talking about what we're gunna do and what's gunna happen. makes me happy. ::smile:: we got a room at a hotel that was sold out. ^_^ and for cheaper than our previous reservation, too~ i made a schedule for the rest of may all the way through half of july. man, june's gunna be a KILLER MONTH!! but thas ok. i'll survive. it'll make ax that much more enjoyable. ^^ and summer school doesn't start till the day before we leave for ax~ happy.

so yes.. interesting past 6 hours. it looks like summer. it feels like summer. it smells like summer. i'm liking this. ::smile::

:: Saturday, May 19, 2001 :: 05:53 p.m. ::
wow... spent a lot of time just driving around. went to mitsuwa, vallco, westgate, arcade, and just drove around places. i think i used about 1/5 of my tank. gaki wasn't at work so i couldn't drop off the stuff i wanted to give her. kaijuu said she'd give them to her. yay. i noticed that radio stations play the same things over and over. after a day of listening, seems like there's no point in listening for the next few weeks.

oh yeah, the arcade my brother went to had a buncha people from AX00 in the DDR competition held there. it was pretty cool. gaki, kaijuu, remember that one tall asian dude that always wore all white and did butterfly w/ his back turned to the machine last year? he was there and he had this really big toy gun and was doing a really kakkoii pose for a camera his friend had, and some of his hair was bleached white. yep, wearing all white. there were 2 girls i recognized from fanime, 3 girls from ax, and some other people i saw at other arcades. interesting day.

it's hot.

:: Friday, May 18, 2001 :: 10:27 p.m. ::
maaannn... long daaaayyyyy... more star testing... i went to eastridge mall with irene, johanna, and ting after school~ ^^ we went and spent about 4.5 hours there. i think an hour of that time was spent for johanna's shoes. >_< so yeah... it was my first time going there and IT WAS SO COOL!! XD i wanna go there when i get to go on my shopping spree!! ^_^

as soon as i got home, jack called and said gaki needed to get picked up from work at 8:40 and then bring her here. uh.. where's "here"? "golfland." O_O;; it's 8:20. ...and i'm not allowed to drive past 9. "... that could be a problem... ok, call her brother and ask him to pick her up." ok, so i called her brother, and no answer. called few more times. crap. called irene: ;_; cover for meeee!! "ok, sure..." i need to go pick up phil from work, but i don't know if i'll be back before 9, so if my mom asks where i was, i need you to tell her that i had to drop off your bag cuz you left it in my car! >_< ::pause...:: wait a sec... you're not allowed to be in my car.. SHIT! ;_; what am i gunna doooo?? "um... how about say you left YOUR bag in MY car?" ...you're a genius!! i love you!!! "ok, so what am i supposed to say?" tell her i left my bag in your car so i went to pick it up now cuzyou'regunnabeouttatowntomorrow! >_< "ok, no problem" ;_; ARIGATOUUUU!!! i'll talk to you later! byebye! ::click: ....it's 8:40. round trip from mitsuwa and back is 30 mins, and i gotta go 10 mins outta the way to take gaki home... shit. ::grab bag and keys, jump down stairs, SPPED to mitsuwa, take gaki home, SPEED back, home at 9:10:: O_O parents aren't home yet! GOOD GOOD!! XD they got home like... 5 mins after i did, though. o_O;; close call...;;;

::haa:: yes, long day, but it was like 2 fridays in a row cuz i went out till 10 yesterday, too~ XD and i still have all day tomorrow to goof off! XD sunday is work work work. japanese project, math hw, history hw, and english test. >_< hyaaaaa!!

:: Thursday, May 17, 2001 :: 10:34 p.m. ::
aaahhh... today was a good day... if only all days were as good as today... ^_______^ k, i drove to school, got my parking permit for $10 instead of $20, and after school, i hung out with some people for an hour till about 3:30. we went to jamba juice, and i went home, went to doctor's appt, and went to pick up my brother, and ting and olivia were STILL in the parking lot talking, and i thought "i wanna do some bonding, toooo!". so i joined them. ^^ we talked about the most random things, and then at the last minute, decided that they could chill at my house. we played dead or alive2 for a little bit, and then went out to dinner, brought food home, ate while watching 'friends', and olivia left soon after. ting and i sat in my room for about an hour and half talking some more and more, and yeah. around 9:30, we went to david's house to just hang out there. 3 of the other guys were there and they were going absolutely CRAZY over super smash bros. ^^ it was sooo funny! too bad david and arnold swear every other word they say ^^;;; maa ii, it was entertaining. so i walked home around 10:00, and it felt niiiice~ it's nice outside right now~ and ting just called ^^;;; just wondering if i was home or not was "getting on her conscience". ^_^ she's so sweet~

i come home to a freaking out gaki who's having a heart attack about cosplay at ax. wayne decided to ditch us for another cosplay group, so we have 4 people going in a cardcaptor sakura group- eriol, tomoyo, nakuru, and yukito. how do those 4 work together to make a skit that makes sense of some sort? o_O; shiran... it makes it harder to compete when we don't have as many people.. BUT WE CAN STILL DO IT! >_< just... gotta think of how...

:: Thursday, May 17, 2001 :: 04:51 p.m. ::
=________= nice day. other than star testing, it was a nice day. i drove myself to school (but got killed by about 10 of the people i hang out with cuz of my car), took the test, and drove ting to jamba juice with irene and olivia in olivia's car. ^_^ olivia and i raced about half way down saratoga-sunnyvale ave on the way back to school >_< and it was FUN! didnt have to ask people for rides anymore! XD oh happy day.

i also had a doctor's appointment cuz my allergies were getting pretty bad. so i should be better from now on~ ^_^ ::haaa:: so tired.... ;_; too much thinking in one daaaaayy!! and it's hot..!! i think i'll go wash my face and nap now~ ^______^ 'yasumiiii~~

:: Wednesday, May 16, 2001 :: 03:21 p.m. ::
well. today has proven to be the best day of the week, possibly month! ^_^

I GOT MY CAR BABYYYYYY!!! XD XD MY BOOOOOTIFUL CIVIC LX OF YEAR 2001 AND IT'S SILVERRRRR!!!! XDDDDDD AND IT TAKES NORMAL GAS SO I DON'T HAVE TO PAY A FORTUNE FOR THAT PREMIUM UNLEADED SHIT MY PARENTS ALWAYS HAVE TO GET!! KYAHAHAHAHHAA!!!!! oh happy day.

i'm ok. ^_^ sooooooo~~~~~ gaki, looks like i'll be able to take you to work from now on! XD XD i dunno about bringing you back, though. >_< i'll pick you up from school when you go to work, na? ^_____^

:: Tuesday, May 15, 2001 :: 06:21 p.m. ::
doHYAAAAAAA!!! i was napping for a bit and i woke up with a feeling that felt like something was tugging at my heart. know what it was about? MONEY FOR AX!!! ;_; i need to make moneeeeeyyy!! IF kaijuu's dad is going to long beach with us to visit relatives, then there'll be no problem with plane money and i won't have to stress out about payment for plane or hotel- even if we do stay at the regency. ;_; demo demo demo na! it's the SHOPPING MONEY i gotta get!! i have this big list of cds and artbooks i wanna get, and it's GROWING! XO i gotta draw draw draw, and try to get a job somewheeeeeereeeee!!! ;;;_;;; and ebay's STUPID and is putting fees on EVERYTHING and it really sucks cuz it's not as CHEAP as it USED to be, and i need MONEEEEYYYYY!!! ;;;;_;;;;;; and i need a JO-----B! mitsuwa with gaki would be most convenient, since i'm giving her rides to work when i get my car... hauuuuu!!!
fuuma: ... this would be akuma under stress, am i right?
akuma: ;;;;;;_;;;;;;; YEEEESS!!!
fuuma: ... wouldn't normal people your age stress about school and not money?
akuma: I'M NOT NORMAL!! XO
fuuma: ... you're right...

:: Monday, May 14, 2001 :: 11:57 p.m. ::
waaa... nemuiiiii.... ~_~ long day today... i went to school, went to office max, and drew for a long time... yet, i got practically nothing done. what's wrong with me?! i'm working on a fanart piece of hikaru from rayearth with her hair down. must work on it! must work to make it semi-decent so i can sell it on ebay! >_< cuz the idea of it is kinda pleasant.. i was checking this one seller's list of auctions, and it gave me that ";_; natsukashiiiii" feeling from summer of '00 when i was selling like mad crazy for AX00 ^_^ it was niiice... i think i'll do that again sometime soon~ <3

:: Monday, May 14, 2001 :: 7:33 p.m. ::
XD got to see kaijuu today!! i went out and picked her up and we went to office max cuz i had to get a notebook and sketch pad. and then we went to mcdonalds after that~ ^_^ the guy there was really nice-i got an icecream cone, and he gave me like... twice as much as normal. o_O;; yasashikatta.... and i'm gunna draw my new manga in the new sketch book~ tehe~ if you care, lookie in the manga section below every once in a while to check me progress. ^_^ ja!