...... disturbing dreams... something about some girl being unfaithful and the situation was turned around to make it look like i was the one cheating on my bf while the other girl went fucking around with guys. it was like a virtual reality presentation, and it showed what she did, only instead of her, there was an image of me. dahoon saw. after that i was on my quest to find him and convince him it was all a lie. only problem was i suddenly became extremely fragile and this one guy was gunna try killing ryuta cuz he didn't want him touching me, and matt (from mitsu o_O;;) was supposed to protect me during this time. uhhh....????? there's a huge scenario with bombs and swords and lots of drama where i'm fighting an inner war to either save ryuta or convince dahoon that i didn't do anything, and i couldn't do both. fack. eh.. for some reason after that, i was in only a white sheet, and trying to get outta the room i was in. .. it didn't work too well considering my legs got hella weak. grr.. i don't remember how it turned out. dun think i want to. f;alsijf ;dsilf;k...



[Thursday, June 5, 2003]
[10:12 p.m.]

so yesterday was the surprise party for kenji that (to lisa's amazement and happiness) worked really well~ packing drinks into a gift bag and making the tissue paper all pretty while you're driving is an interesting experience~ michelle, mark, sachiko, and a few other people were there, too~ munched on cake, went to the beach, played some volleyball, threw a frisbee around, and then i headed up to ucsc early to get to the visitor's office before it closed. so i get there, chill, wrestle around with dahoon for a few hours (he won =_=;;), get some sleep, watch some movies, wrestle around some more, eat, and then start heading back home after slipping in and out of consciousness. iei for new life experiences~ nn.. sleep sounds good right about now... GAAH!! RO'S TAKING OVER EVERYONE'S LIVES!!! CHIKISHOU!!! almost got sucked into it when i was offered an account........... NOOOOOO must not give in!!



[Tuesday, June 3, 2003]
[6:32 p.m.]

once again, i smell like sand, and so does my car. but thas ok. michelle, heidi, and i vegetated on the beach this afternoon. dood, the weather sucked. it's all sunny and warm over here, but once you get over there it's cloudy and friggin cold. that wasn't too great... but it was interesting watching heidi and michelle play with each other. i don't get how they find so much fun in the littlest things. chotto urayamashii. sore ni, things are still quieter than they used to be. hopefully that'll change soon...

the house was bought. that means my parents are moving down to orange county somewhere in mid-late august. i'll be with them till school starts, which would be january. thas when i come back up to silicon valley. hopefully in the 5 months i'm there, i'll see why everyone loves socal so much. as for my brother, he'll be here for another year at a friend's house to get his senior year done, and then go down to socal till college i guess. ii naa... ndemo it's prolly better for me if i go down to socal anyway cuz lots of people are down there, too~ i should be ok.

i think i'm pmsing. been feeling a lot more mellow than i should be. haven't been irritated or anything, but i'm feeling things more intensely and it's kinda scary cuz i SHOULDN'T be pmsing right now. WHYYYY!!!! geh... chikishou.



[Sunday, June 1, 2003]
[11:35 p.m.]

tadaima from a long funfilled weekend in sc! well... sc for the most part... friday took my michelle in mid-play home so she could go out to dinner with her familee. me, i headed straight to santa cruz. twas a nice evening of dinner and a movie with dahoon~ nde, when we got back to oakes, there were a bunch of people in the study room just chilling with drinks and cards. it got interesting when more people came and we started playing some sorta osamu game...;; kinda like truth-or-dare, spin-the-bottle, and some cards, all mixed into one weirdass game. it was fun while it lasted :P i'm sooo glad i didn't get stuck in anything bad >_<

sleep eluded me that night for some reason, so i felt really dead on saturday, which happened to be the day with the most driving. geh.. came back to cupertino with dahoon, heidi, and alex, and we met up with michelle at svgl. dood... by the end of the day, i was so tired i could've collapsed as soon as i stepped into oakes... i dun really remember anything except i showered and played guiltygearxx for a bit, and then passed out. for about 10-11 hours or so. it was naaaisu~~

it was around 2 or 3 or something like that when i got heidi and michelle from cowell and brought them back to oakes. i could tell they were bored. i'm so sorry you guys ;_; i play video games so i dun get bored over there >_<

random side notes:
= i got up in the middle of the night to get a drink cuz i had this dream that i no matter how much i drank, i was still thirsty...
= i was tackled in my sleep...
= 1 day felt like 5.
= note to self: don't drive back and forth from sc when you have a tree in the trunk and 4 other passengers.



[Friday, May 30, 2003]
[9:14 a.m.]

something's trying to be hinted when i'm constantly a target in my dreams =_=; someone was trying to protect me, i dunno who. i had to go around saving a bunch of people (now that i think about it, it was a lot like a typical superhero episode) and others were trying to kill me and someone was trying to protect me but they failed cuz i was kidnapped and brought into the library downstairs and a bunch of punks were there planning to rape and kill me. they killed the other people around me, and someone came to my rescue right before anything could happen. WOOT~ i just... dun remember their face...;; i remember lots of broken glass cuz pretty much a whole wall in the library is glass and a car was kinda driven through it...;; ..... it's prolly because of these dreams i wake up hella early. =_= buu...



[Thursday, May 29, 2003]
[9:37 a.m.]

omg that was not a cool dream. i was with dahoon and a bunch of people from my old church and hangout group from high school and we were all at this place that looked kinda like my middle school. we split up into 3 groups and went to the grocery store, and i was constantly going off looking for dahoon. he was easy to find for the most part, but later on when we got back to the "school", i couldn't find him and got worried cuz the last time i saw him there was a girl getting a little too cozy with him ::stress mark::. it was raining quite hard when i was still looking for him and these little boys popped out of nowhere and started chasing after me playing around. it was really hard running when i was wearing a white dress and soaking wet. for some reason. and i couldn't find dahoon... next thing i remember i'm at home with a bunch of relatives and there's a glass cup carefully packaged in a black box cuz it has some evil spirit trapped in it or something. someone drank out of it and the spirit was released. i gotta go out and find it, and i find myself at some sort of dig site and there's a really big vase with a mummy in it. i heard something along the lines of 'didn't you think you were gunna melt in there from the heat and cold?' "that's what i thought when i gave my last cry". uh...? i dunno... there's another girl with me, and i crawl into the vase and pretend to be the mummy, and the people who were digging pull me out and set me on the table. same with the girl. there's a story about the guy (original mummy) killing two girls so he was put in a vase, and the two girls were now me and my company. we "came back to life" and ran away. the other girl was really pretty, and i tried to save her from the guy cuz he'd try to kill us again. we ran into a park where there was a small castle-ish kinda building about the size of an average house, but 2 stories since it was meant for children. ran away into the castle thing, and the inside looked like a church, and there were a lot of people cuz they were preparing for a performance. the guy chasing after us kissed the girl with poison in his mouth and the girl wouldn't spit it out.. she died. i ran out and somehow knew there was a bomb planted in the building and warned the pastor and he got everyone to get down. i remembered stuff like it had already happened. bomb exploded, and people were still inside, totally unaware of it. the doors were small...;; i picked up this baby lying on the floor, still alive and somehow unhurt, so i carried him out. someone took him for me, and i went back inside looking for others but everyone else was already being taken care of. what scared the crap out of me was when i realized michelle was inside when the bomb went off, and i went looking for her but couldn't find her anywhere. couldn't find dahoon, couldn't find michelle, and it left me crying. crying when i woke up, too. what a lovely way to start the day...



[Wednesday, May 28, 2003]
[8:34 p.m.]

a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders this afternoon when michelle and i had a nice long talk. well.. ok, about half of it was silence, but it was still good to finally be able to sort things out. mebe it'll do some good for me to become honest for once and let my face display how i feel? i dunno sometimes it's easy to do so, other times it's not. my efforts in not crying today went to waste, but thas ok cuz it was kinda refreshing. nde.... after that we ventured out into the hot hot world with kenji for kenshin cosplay cloth. got the base for michelle, but the trim will have to wait. i still gotta get my ayane cloth, too. forgot to browse for that... but yeh, we ended up just lounging around for a couple hours cuz it was so hot... disfunctional bodies were strewn over kenji's living room. i must remember to expect scars when removing bandages. today was an educational day in the art of people skills 101c.

....... whoa totally spaced out for a bit there... it's that time again when people are planning out where they're gunna live for the next year or so. my life seems to have a lot to do with moving lately...;; lots of people are moving into apts on/off campus, others are staying in dorms, but there's lots of convo about moving possessions around and stuff... i'll be helping heidi move her stuff out of the dorm in a couple weeks. people will be home for the summer, we'll play, and then it's byebye again. i don't know if dahoon's gunna come back to norcal, though... dammit. as for my own situation, it runs somewhere along the lines of if the house sells within the next week, the family moves down to socal while my brother finishes high school up here. if it doesn't sell, then we all stay here. i don't care either way anymore. i'm going to sjsu in january anyway...

eyes hurting... i haven't read so much on a screen since my fanfic phase. i have the most persistent tugging on my conscience that says "LET'S GO TO SC!!"... ::smack:: no. you have work tomorrow. and parking costs money. a resource you're quite low on. go over the weekend. .... dammit. must not pick up on RO. must not.... must not....



[Tuesday, May 27, 2003]
[5:30 p.m.]

i like dreaming. yappa yume wa nigebasho. a friend forgave me for something i did and we ran away from something bad. somewhere in there, i was performing in a play or what not. didn't really make much sense... another part had to do with the house being open house and all, and i had to convince someone/thing to play dead while this monster thingie came to kill stuff. i ran away while the other dude/thing played dead. my grapefruit tree had some significance to it, but i totally forget. there was something hanging in it. ::haa:: maa ikka... hara hettaa.. manga kakitee... geemu yariteEAAA!!!! THAS IT!!! since piano and drawing didn't work, MEBE GAMES WILL!! SOKKAAA KYAHAHAHAA!!



[Sunday, May 25, 2003]
[2:02 p.m.]

i was just thinking... wow... it's already been about a year since the last AX. it's coming around again, and pretty much smacking me in the face cuz i'm sooo not prepared. but so much has happened in a year that AX2k2 feels like it was only last month, so listening to stuff like sakura drops or traveling or furuba feels kinda weird... lots changed, too.. especially just recently. i wanna go back to those days when people just called for the hell of talking about nothing, spending hours at random houses, going for tea all the time, gaming at svgl, having sleepovers... missing those days... missing those people... zutto koukosei no mama de yokatta no ni... sono toki kitzukanakatta kedo, sugoi shiawase deshita. ima mo kekkou shiawase'ssu yo! even though it's a different kind.

i got my first real good look at RO. i still don't understand the point, which is prolly why i find it scary how people can get so addicted to it ^^;;; maa, i'm sure eventually i'll find out, and find myself double-taped to it, too. i dread the day...;;;

OH YAH! cosplay! steph, as soon as i get the fabric, i'll work on the oniwabanshuu costume with michelle whenever she's good to go. i still gotta make ayane, which i have no idea how i'm gunna do, yet. also... for ax, is anyone driving down again? or are we all flying this year?

i have an odd bite/scratch on my right foot. it is hurting. LOL!!!! and nicholas cage sounds hella funny speaking japanese HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA <--- (been watching windtalkers.) you can still kinda understand him, though ^^; alrighty... have an unusual commission coming my way, must get more info on it. jan!



[Friday, May 23, 2003]
[9:05 p.m.]

::phew:: finally got around to finishing my last commission! otsukaresamaaa~ a requested picture of tooya from ayashi no ceres. i like the pic from his shoulders and up. =_=; finishing a piece always feels so nice, yesh. i have 2 others i want to get done, but i doubt they'll get finished anytime soon... this made me want to watch anc again.. dammit... and i still can't find my cds ;_;

OKAERIIII~ i'll get my stuff outta your room soon. ::haaaa:: weekend.. what to do... sunbathing again? :D you up to it again? michelle, you wanna come too?? :D i'm gunna go and float around and see where my impulses take me...



[Thursday, May 22, 2003]
[5:52 p.m.]

i smell like sand. my car smells like sand. this is what happens when you sunbathe for an afternoon, get sand over stuff, and bring all that stuff into the car without completely shaking everything out. my feet hurt, i'm sticky, and i wanna take a shower. geh... my body is a sponge to UV rays. heidi was her usual embarrassed self and wore a shirt half the time. but at least she wore shorts :D ieiii~~ keep that up and your legs'll be darker in no time :D another day of no appetite... hauuu....



[Tuesday, May 20, 2003]
[11:18 a.m.]

mmmmm~~~ dreams are niiiiice~ why is it there are no beaches around here like the ones i see in my dreams.. ~_____~ maa ikka~ a bunch of my relatives were there, too.... in the pool or something, and most of them were underwater o_O; they were all down there standing around like they weren't suffocating..;; i was swimming around and one of my little cousins got all scared cuz she 'sensed' a monster somewhere in the pool. it was a huge pool. and yeah.... aaaa~~ the beach was niiice! lee was driving down the coast and jon was there too and we went swimming with a bunch of other people *_* .......not making any sense.... WOOT! parents gone till tomorrow! XD and i have no work tomorrow and thu~ naaahce! bobo~ asobanaaaai~? umi ikou-yo, umiii~~ sunbathing~~ *_* okke! time to go to work!



[Tuesday, May 20, 2003]
[12:16 a.m.]

why... is it..... so hot?!?1? it's like july already! but anyway... i never really realized how much drama there is between workers at hallmark.. i'm on good terms with everyone, but not everyone's on good terms with everyone else... o_O; kinda came as a shock to me cuz so-and-so reeeeally hates so-and-so, but i'm on good terms with both and totally can't see them hating anyone. and i was supposedly taking over for someone's night shift tonight but cindy wouldn't let me cuz then i'd have a 11-hour work day and she didn't want me doing that, and instead, went frantic calling everyone to see if they could take that night shift and she was PISSED! o_O the girl that was supposed to come in originally said she could eventually come in, so that was good. i got off work at the scheduled 4pm, and off to santa cruz i went!

i had just noticed how hot it was after i stepped outta the car. was not good... could feel body getting heavy already... dahoon lemme watch "the one" on his comp, and it's a pretty good movie~ kinda sorta confusing, but things came together eventually. and food was good *_* chicken stir fry~ ryuta, elo, ed, gochisousama! nde.. i ended up not going to the meeting cuz movie/food and board plan timing was bad... gomenne, heidi ;_; so after some attempted cooling off/resting, i played with dahoon for a while. twas an educational evening~ ......... that sounds a lot worse than it's meant to....;;; before i knew it, i was already late in getting home. ::haa:: not doin too well in the keeping time department today...



[Monday, May 19, 2003]
[1:00 a.m.]

best viewed with MIE 4+ at 1024x768



name mirae
alias kanojo, akuma
age 19
bdate march5
eyes dk brown
hair black/dk brown
weight 140-150lbs
height 5'6"
blood type i should prolly find out before i get hurt, huh?
zodiac pisces
location saratoga
job hallmark, artist on commission
email kanojochan@hotmail.com
aim kanojochan
life archive, melon-pan, manga list
hobbies anime/manga, doodle, food, sleep, design
past cosplay misao (rurouni kenshin), nakuru (cardcaptor sakura), kagura (fruits basket)
food sushi, pasta, korean bbq
drink pearl milk tea, coffee, fruit juice, chocolate fudge protein shake <3
music j-pop, some k-pop, some j-rock, anime stuffs
hangouts santa cruz, fobby tea shops, peoples' houses, beaches, parks
anime ayashi no ceres, fruits basket, yami no matsuei, gto
manga yami no matsuei, x/1999, chobits, kamikaze kaitou jeanne
artist clamp, tanemura arina, matsushita yoko, tsuchiya kyoko, azumi tohru, akamatsu ken, minami haruka, takagi ryo, koge donbo
seiyuu seki tomokazu, koyasu takehito, shinichirou miki, ogata megumi, sakamoto chika, okiayu ryoutarou
likes falling asleep in someone's lap while being pet, simplicity, the ocean, dahoon
dislikes being woken up, highway 17, computer problems

mini gallery
my akg gallery got totally wiped out due to the stupidity of a certain akuma, so this is the fledgling gallery of finished works. until she gets her lazy ass moving and makes a layout for a real gallery and actually has pieces to put in it, this edge of the wall will be where kanojo's works cling for dear life.
keep your cursor over the thumbnails to view commentary.

links accent aestheticism agsma clamp-net ichigo music jpqueen kix bbs oekaki central sasugabooks usanime

blogs br's connie dahoon heidi jack justin kenji kevin lisa michelle pekkle phi somi steph wayne

LET ME BE WITH YOU
opening theme from chobits
by: round table, featuring nino

just to make sure the two of us meet, i cast a spell
take both my hands gently, i'll smile

pretending we don't notice our true feelings
we suddenly fell in love
let me be with you
let me be with you
let me be with you
i want to hold you

up until now, unable to speak it, we've kept it hidden
i'm just pretending to be strong, find me

wait just five minutes until we meet
after that we fell in love
let me be with you
let me be with you
let me be with you
i want to cry

when our held hands gently let go
it makes me uneasy, it makes me uneasy
let me be with you
let me be with you
let me be with you
i just want to hold you
i just want to hold you