† entitled † grief's always hardest.
when? Tuesday, June 3, 2003

*sigh* handling the death of aete was something i had to come to grips with...but....i think i'm okay now. i think i'm at least halfway sane this morning..if that's saying anything.

i feel the increasing need to get out of the house. to do what, i'm not exactly sure. my best friend conversed with one of my coworkers last night and..well...they collaborated on ways to get me out. i know they did for a fact. *sigh* .. the closest i ever get to setting foot outside of the house is taking out the trash. either that, or staring longingly out of the window at the world beyond...

damn being a recluse.

† entitled † wintergreen.
when? Monday, June 2, 2003

...huh. interesting quiz, that's for sure. my goo goo dolls fetish goes on insatiable, even for my adept hunger for the heavy metal tones of cold.

does anyone else have the strong urge to swallow Winterfresh gum? whenever i have anything with wintergreen in it--from the gum to the breath mints--i always have to chew it and swallow it. peppermint isn't so much so, spearmint neither. it's just wintergreen.

...and that's the last time i ever buy Winterfresh gum, then.

i hear his voice. though i know he lies in eternal slumber, i know he's dead. i know that he's dead. but still, i can hear him in the back of my head...letting me know that he hasn't entirely left me all alone here.

aete...can you...hear me?

*shakes head* .. damn. having some mental issues lately. i always suspected that anti-depressants have some sort of adverse reaction when taken with a heavy dose of cheese puffs, but...this is ridiculous.

ciao, then. until i'm sane again.

† entitled † issues.
when? Sunday, June 1, 2003

yeah. right now, my mother's screaming her fucking head off in the other room about something or other having to do with work. she's giving me a migraine already and we haven't even been out of school three days.

good lord. take me the hell away from here. please. what i wouldn't give just to get away from home and work for just one fucking day...

well, i work again tonight. again, i find myself as acting crewleader and i'm stuck working with derek. that's not too bad. at least he works. dusty just stands there with his thumb up his ass and ashley's slower than shit. i'm thankful for derek, i am..

well, at least i can look forward to having monday and tuesday off. might as well cross my fingers otherwise my mother will call me in anyway.

my life exists as nothing else other than to sleep..get up..wait around until i go to work..work..come home...and sleep some more. it's the same cycle every damn summer and i'm so entirely sick and tired of it. i'm sure my parents are too, seeing as they're fighting 24/7 to begin with.

end bitchiness spree.

just take me away.. *sigh*

† entitled † work, work...and work.
when? Saturday, May 31, 2003

i've been closing every night since thursday...and this evening, there's more work for me to look forward to. yaaaaaaaay. well, tonite i'm working with ashley and derek, so i guess that makes life a little bit easier.

i spent last night moaning and groaning about menstrual pains. aunt flow came to visit as of yesterday and seems to enjoy her monthly stay of pure and utter misery. oh dear. it seems i shall never conquer my own poetic metaphors even when writing a blog entry. alas.

the more and more i thought about my current love situation, the more i came to realize how it was more a question of platonic love. do i? or don't i? this bears more thought.

got money last night and bought three CDs at our resident planet video. i have now acquired Garbage's first CD, Staind's 14 Shades of Grey, and Cold's Year of the Spider. they're not bad..i just wish the Staind CD was a lot more...intense. that's all.

oh, and did i mention that on top of my inherent pissiness caused by aunt flow's stay that my bank account was closed with no notice to me? i was incredibly pissed. you have no idea.

well, enough complaining for one entry. i am off to go skulk and browse the boards of the internet simply for some use for entertainment. ciao.

† entitled † summertime.
when? Friday, May 30, 2003

yeah. new layout with a new theme, i suppose. this time, i didn't have to steal an image to make the layout. i drew the bunny in english/drama yesterday...a final tribute to the school year i guess. it's finally summer, and all i really have to worry about now is whether i'll get a tan this time or not. also, i'm supposed to be running and such this summer. wanna get down to my target weight before drama next year. that'd be fun.

hmn. i only hope i get to spend some more time with you this summer, regardless our schedules and such. i hope you somehow manage to come up with the money for college...

oh..and regarding your note to me before i archived last; no, i didn't forget you, dear. i haven't been online in ages simply because i haven't had the time. email me or something..we need to talk.

yesterday even after i got home from work, i couldn't help but feel awfully lonely. i can foretell how my summer will be--i'll end up spending it here at the computer and never leaving the house except to go to work. i haven't even been home one day from school and i already have cabin fever. damn. i'll live with it, i suppose..

until then...ciao. until i find something better to do..