yes, folks. everyone is entitled to regrets. after all, hindsight is 20/20, yo? well, in some cases, it becomes all more clearer depending on the situation.
as for my regrets? yes. i regret breaking up with mick. i do. but...i gotta repent. i gotta atone for things the way it is.
i've been roiling in depression for the last twenty-four hours, despairing over my situation in school and at work. its as if i have nothing more to live for but to work at a job (where i haven't exactly been earning a salary for months) and do my schoolwork. i've become a creature of routine, a slave to habits, if you will.
parental tensions seem to be coming to a height again. it won't be long before things explode and i'll come home one night from work to find my mom throwing shit everywhere and cussin' and screaming at my father as to how she could leave....if he hadn't hidden her car keys on her.
god. wallowing in my own woe. how pitiful can i get, ne?
c'mon. kick me while i'm down. i can handle it.
i'm damn used to it by now.

aion got high on neon @ 05:33 a.m.

† entitled † theme song.
when? Thursday, April 24, 2003
lyric for the day: I'm not alone cuz the TV's on, yeah..

whereas you have recently found your theme song, i've had mine for awhile....but still. i love this song so much because it IS me...

bleed american jimmy eat world.

I'm not alone cause the TV's on, yeah.
I'm not crazy cause I take the right pills everyday.
And rest, clean your conscience, clear your thoughts with speyside with your grain.
Clean your conscience, clear your thoughts with speyside.
Salt, sweat, sugar on the asphalt.
Our hearts littering the topsoil.
Tune in and we can get the last call.
Our lives, our coal.
Salt, sweat, sugar on the asphalt.
Our hearts littering the topsoil.
Sign up it's the picket line or the parade.
Our lives.
I'm not alone cause the TV's on, yeah.
I'm not crazy cause I take the right pills everyday.
And rest, clean your conscience, clear your thoughts with speyside with your grain.
Clean your conscience, clear your thoughts with speyside.
(repeat chorus)
Sign up it's the picket line or the parade, our lives.
(I bled the) greed from my arm.
Won't they give it a rest now?
(repeat chorus)
Sign up it's the picket line or the parade.

aion got high on neon @ 05:28 a.m.

† entitled † perpetually angsting.
when? Wednesday, April 23, 2003
lyric for the day: When you're slipping in and out of time..

gr. every moment i have my eyes open, i'm perpetually angsting and seeing the worst outcome of every situation. even the way i dress is a perpetual angst move--flannel overshirt, black (or close to it) clothing underneath...black corduroys (sp?)...skater shoes...spikes..? c'mon. how angsty can you get?
on other, less gripey terms...i made it third into the class out of seventeen girls. yup. you got it. so i'm definitely going to be in drama next year. yaaaay. PLUS, i'm gonna run for a thespian office and enjoy myself while doing it. what better time than now to finally make something of myself, huh?
right now, i'm hating being single. but i don't mind. the guy i want is currently taken..but i don't mind at all. i have all the patience in the world, you know. *grin*
well, i'm off to school for more and more angsting, ne. ciao, i guess..

aion got high on neon @ 05:46 a.m.

† entitled † angst.
when? Tuesday, April 22, 2003
lyric for the day: Beggin' for the beggar's bread when the money's out..

parents fought last night...go figure. throwing things and all. poor dog was scared out of his bloody mind. speaking in sentence fragments, don't really care. i'm half dead.
going to school @ 6:15 simply to wait for the list. hopefully i make it on pretty high. personally, i thought i did pretty well at my audition....today's the big day. and if i don't find out like NOW, i'm gonna....die. xx;
happy single. yay.
damn. i feel wasted.
ciao.

aion got high on neon @ 05:19 a.m.

† entitled † bleed american
when? Monday, April 21, 2003
lyric for the day: I'm not crazy 'cuz I take the right pills every day...

la. summer went to the doctor today and it seems that he called her in for the lab results...she's fine, but yeah. she'll be on pills up the wazoo. poor thing. ;-;
i'm really wishing you would get online. xo; or you could get online so i could show you your new layout. i finished it not too long ago, so yeah...
speaking of layouts, i'm planning on revamping nakigoe again and working on a layouts portfolio and such. it'd be neat and all, but i'd have to find somewhere to store them. prolly on topcities, but yeah. crappy server with bad popups. -_o
the reality of finally being single just hit me in the shower yesterday. i'm finally...free! free to flirt with whoever i want and not having to worry about hurting anyone in the process! GYAHAHAHAHA! o.o
i'll get a grip. sorry.
anyway....i'm really nervous about tomorrow. the list comes out as to whether i make it into advanced drama next year or not.. *crosses fingers* i'll die if i don't...yet you keep assuring me i'll make it in. -_- biased piece of--!
anyway...i'll stop blabbing. i've got layouts to make..
ciao.

aion got high on neon @ 12:30 p.m.

† entitled † blue monday
when? Sunday, April 20, 2003
lyric for the day: How does it feel to treat me like you do?

yes, yes. by now you've already guessed that i'm listening to orgy's version of blue monday. and if you haven't heard the song, you're definitely missing out on the techno-rockishness of the band. *_* i <3 orgy, yes yes. (i'm imagining the scowl on your face right now, alex. hee.)
i made a new layout for you today. i'm glad you're so enthusiastic about it, i am. ^.^ i'm glad at least someone appreciates my web work..
as for you...i'm glad you're finally making the switch to using blogs instead of sticking with stinky FOD. >.< it's such a pain in my ass to make layouts for those things, hun. and they end up looking SO shitty..
as for real life? i just came home from a wedding and my house is now filled with people. personally, i'm sick of people. but since my parents are currently occupied with entertaining them...hehe. i get all the computer time i want, ne.
i have to close the store by myself tomorrow nite. *gnaws fingernails* ...i'm so scared. ;-;
anyway, enough babble. i'm thinking maybe a quistis layout next. i dunno...that's what i'm thinkin', though.
ciao.

aion got high on neon @ 08:58 p.m.

† entitled † broken heart..?
when? Saturday, April 19, 2003
lyric for the day: Tomorrow it may change.

i broke up with mick yesterday. i want to thank you for your kindness and support in getting it over with. i am now officially single...and i guess i should be enjoying myself, but...here i am. wallowing in my own misery again. *le sigh*
i finally met someone i've been meaning to meet for a long time. i know it sounds funny, but i've been seeing this person wandering around the school and i kept thinking to myself, "wouldn't he be someone nice to know?" well. i talked to him for the first time on thursday...before we performed fear for the last time ever. gosh, i think i'm going to miss that show....
...however, i think i'm going to write another anonymous letter to the old man and leave it in his mailbox again. i think the cast deserves it...especially after all the shit we've been through together, yes.
hm. one hour until i'm off to work again...so...ciao.

aion got high on neon @ 09:58 a.m.

† entitled † explosion or implosion?
when? Thursday, April 17, 2003
lyric for the day: It can never be the same to me...

today, my horoscope first warns of blowing up at a dear one or boyfriend or something. hm. i'd better avoid that. however, it also consoles me that all is not lost in the direction of that relationship, ne. so i suppose that's a good thing.
i haven't really been able to write much lately...i began morien's wake up scene last night after i got home from rehearsal and it didn't go very well...alas. i need to write more, ne.
a friend's father killed himself the other day. i personally wonder how he's taking it...
maybe..i will delay ending it. i..never realized how much i missed him until now...hm. is this just a passing thing, or...?
well, enough musing questions. i'm off to hell again. the only consolation i have? i don't have school tomorrow or monday...maybe i'll get the trophy cabinet layout done, nyo...
see you at school.

aion got high on neon @ 05:29 a.m.

† entitled † cloudy.
when? Wednesday, April 16, 2003
lyric for the day: Ohh...god damn me.

my horoscope today says something to the effect that "fog will be rolling in" to cloud my judgement today. and boy, lemme tell ya...am i feelin' it. for the past week or so, i've been pondering and toying with the idea of breaking up with mick. why? because...well....he's....just too good of a friend to lose over some shit like this. it's tearing me apart to have to do this to him, but..
.. *sigh* oh well. i had previously decided to do this friday, but i don't know. i only hope he understands. *smacks forehead* bad sammie.
on a lighter note...i actually wrote another like...4 pages on visible silence for your reading pleasure. so be happy, ne. ^.^
ah, well. and so begins another day in hell. wish me luck on my audition today...i'm hoping against hope that i make it into the class next year. if i don't, i'm going to positively DIE........me without drama is like a fish without water, ne..
ciao, then..

aion got high on neon @ 05:25 a.m.

† entitled † grades.
when? Tuesday, April 15, 2003
lyric for the day: It takes an orphan with a stutter...

this'll be a short entry...i've spent most of the morning coding this layout and i have about eight minutes left before i'm forced to start getting ready for another day in hell. ou, fun. ^.^;
today is gonna be a good day, i think. either it'll be a good one or one from hell, seeing as i grades are turned in today for thursday's progress report. (DAMNIT.) so yeah. i just have to get my grades up n shit. leave it to me, the world's worst procrastinator to save her own damn grades...
well, i hope you are at school today because i want to talk to you dealing with visible silence, so yeah. let's cross my fingers, ne...?
well, signing off. short, sweet, and to the point. hope you like the new layout...took three days to make, ne.

aion got high on neon @ 05:51 a.m.

. : : a little into me : : .
name: sam, aiguma, aidan, aion.
age: ?
gender: female.
height: about 5'6".
hair: red/brown/black.
eyes: variable.
occupation: i have a job.
fetishes: take a look around.
music fetishes: anything but rap.
clothing style: grunge/punk/goth.
spikes or studs? spikes. hell yes.
books or balls? books. stephen king, please.
chocolate or vanilla? swirl.
fruits or veggies? best of all worlds.

. : : link meh : : .

. : : be linked : : .
maduin - 1 - 2 - 3
haiyaku - 1 - 2 - 3
noelle - 1
william - 1 - 2 - 3
me - 1 - 2
rady - 1 - 2
cassandra - 1
hisphere - 1 - 2

. : : special linkage : : .