 |
 |
|
|
| Name: Yeong Birthdate: October 12 Zodiac: Libra, Tiger, Horus Ethnicity: Korean Interests: Writing, reading, occasionally watching anime/reading manga, listening to music, learning (when I'm not being lazy), homework (is a forced interest), attempting to draw, sleeping and playing RPGs. Future Profession: Don't know anymore, but I will have to get a job once I get a car. Personality (self-described): Shy, quiet, paranoid, insecure, moody, mood-swingy.
I have a button now! Thankees to Let-san for making it. ^^
Layout Made crappily by me, again. This layout here features Lawrence and Adrian from 'Boys Next Door' by Kaori Yuki and therefore that is who they are copyrighted to. It's a short story I liked, it can be read here. The background was a picture of a cityscape that I found here. This was inspired by listening to a variety of music but in particular, 'My Sacrifice' by Creed whose lyrics I partially used. The whole song is as follows:
Hello my friend we meet again
When you are with me
We've seen our share of ups and downs
When you are with me
I just want to say hello again I like the song and it seemed to fit, to me anyway, for the ending for that particular manga (no details so as to not have spoilers, should read if you want to know about it). Favorites Authors: Storm Constantine, Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman Book Series: Wraeththu and Dragonlance Mangaka(s): Yoko Matsushita, Kaori Yuki, Saki Hiwatari, You Higuri and Clamp. Anime/Manga: Yami no Matsuei, Please Save My Earth, Violinist of Hameln, Angel Sanctuary, Fruits Basket, X and Wish. Music: Anime/RPG, Classical, Rock, Alternative, Techno, some Jazz and whatever else I feel like listening to. RPGs: Suikoden and Final Fantasy series. Movie: Lord of the Rings Anime/Manga Characters: Kurosaki Hisoka (Yami no Matsuei), Katan, Rosiel (Angel Sanctuary), Yakushimaru Mikuro (Please Save My Earth), Kaine, Die (Kaine), Raiel (Violinist of Hameln), Naoe Nagi (Weiß Kreuz), Hisui, Kokuyou, Ryuki (Wish), Hatori (Fruits Basket) and Yue (Card Captor Sakura)... Video Game Characters: Luc, Gremio, McDohl (Suikoden), Cloud, Sephiroth (FF7) and Delita (FFT) Book Characters: Raistlin, Dalamar (Dragonlance) Calanthe, Panthera (Wraeththu), Remus Lupin, Sirius Black (Harry Potter), Daniel Cranton (Grigori) and Aragorn (Lord of the Rings) Pairings (previously, as I really like very few now): Tsuzuki/Hisoka (YnM), Raiel/Hamel (VoH), Kira/Alexiel (AS), Die/Kaine (Kaine), Kokuyou/Hisui (Wish), Gremio/Botchan (Suikoden), Luc/Sasarai (Suikoden II), Cal/Pell (Wraeththu), Touya/Yuki (CCS), Sirius/Remus (HP), Amiboshi/Suboshi (FY)... Food: Seafood, Pineapple
I am the keeper of Watari's sense of direction and Hisoka's blush. I am also the keeper of Ryuuichi's illustrations (these things.)
Links
Angel Sanctuary Mailing List
Anti Social *[ | ]* Luc Friends in low places // Rosiel Gremio and McDohl are meant for each other
*Addict :: Calanthe Sprite Adoptions! ^^;; (in no real order because I have no logic)
|
Wednesday, January 29, 2003 I'm feeling incredibly bitchy all of the sudden and I'm not entirely sure why. Hormones, I guess. Ranting about daily life ahead. Don't read unless you want to be bored. :P I wanted to snap at one of my friends through most of spanish today, but that's mainly cause she was complaining about getting a 79 on this one sheet that everyone did badly on and then she was 'mad' at me cause I did four measely points better than her on a test (she got a 96). Normally it doesn't bug me, but today it really was. It also could do something with the fact that she's making us /choose/ when we 'get' to see her. Mosty for the fact that her boyfriend doesn't like us so she can't be around him and then us at the same time or something. *eye roll* I'm probably the least bothered by him, but now even I'm starting to not be able to stand him at all. (PDA doesn't bug me unless it's a constant thing which his has come to be). Plus we're planning a couple of stories together, one of which is /hers/ and then she doesn't even pay attention to the planning when she's around. Urrgh. And then she says that we're going to see her at lunch now because said boyfriend's no longer going to come to the lunch we all have together. Gee, doesn't that make us feel special? And learning this, I'm now starting to agree with one of my friends theories - that the guy tries to purposefully keep her away from us cause he doesn't like us. Plus he seems to like annoying our one friend, which is nothing new since we all annoy her at some point, but we're her friends so it's okay. He's not, so it ends up just leaving the other two of us (me and other friend) get to hear her ranting about killing him and helping her plan horrible methods of torture to get rid of him. Then the other thing that's annoying is that she won't really pay attention to us unless we yell at her or she happens to hear her name come up, /then/ she wants to know what we're talking about. Pfft. Most of the time we don't tell her unless it's something she needs to know. At this rate, the one friend's prediction is going to end up being wrong. She's not going to be the one to snap at them, I am. Which is rather against my nature because I generally try to stay outwardly calm and do a good job for the most part. Bleh. Months of this gets nerve grating though. Okay, I'm done. Should do history homework and a few other things. Not sure what, I think I want to read some and work on vocabulary building. Meh. felt like forever @ 04:40 p.m. Monday, January 27, 2003 Lucifer's being annoying. *pokes computer* Some reason whenever I get disconnected, it keeps freezing. So I have to reboot and rerun scandisk. It's did it three feckin times in the past couple hours. >.>;;
felt like forever @ 08:27 p.m. Saturday, January 25, 2003 *beams* I'm happy to know that you liked it. ^^; Even if it does make me evil. I write for myself, but it's always nice to know that other people like it (somehow) ^o^;; ;____; It's horrible. We got third in Presentation Management, that's one away from state. *sobs* We could've done better too. Things started going wrong about four minutes before we had to set up. First, we discover that the presentation that was saved to disk and brought wasn't the /complete/ one so we had to throw together two slides at the last minute (and the initial ones we had were /so/ much better). Then we were trying to get set up and some reason our laptop decided to start hating us. x_x;; And we were the first team to go. We did good on the presentation, it's just that our slide got weak at the end because of that.... I'm tired now... should work on transferring fic to here, writing the end and modifying, but too lazy now. I also got some books today, mostly on PSAT/SAT prep, Vocabulary building and a dictionary on symbolism. I already think I have a fairly good vocabulary, I just want to make it better. I'm hoping the prep book will get my score to go up those 160 points. As for the symbol book, I was really glad to find it. I usually suck at identifying the subtle symbols and interpreting them, so at least now I have a reference guide (whenever I use symbolism or such it's blatant, unintentional or horribly skewered *sweatdrops*). ^^; Also got a book of proverbs/cliches beacuse I always have ones in my head but I never know if they're right or not. felt like forever @ 10:12 p.m. Friday, January 24, 2003 1340. That's my PSAT score. I'm within the top 97-98% of sophmores across the nation. ...I need to raise my score by at least 160 points by the time I'm a junior. I'm no longer worried about getting /into/ a college/university. Now I'm just worried about the funding issue. Must raise test scores and stay involved in stuff so as to best raise my chances of getting scholarships. And keep my place in the top ten of the class. Gyah, worry. 160 points. I think that's plausible. It went up from being 1110 last year. I think I have decent odds. God, I'm obsessive over this. So many financial worries to face in the future. Travel, college, travel, hopefully permanent job. For now, must apply to as many scholarships and look into as many colleges as I'm able to. I think I've gotten... five? letters from various universities so far. Don't think I want to go to any of them though. I say I'm interested anyway so at least the options open. Must get job this summer after visitings. Argh. I hate money and need more of it. And then this summer or next summer I need to look into taking self-defense courses and possibly look into learning the violin more. I want to learn to play, but as of yet parents have been about three levels below helpful. Mom wants me to learn the piano, I don't want to learn it. I've disliked all the teachers I've had so far even if they do say I have aptitude for it. That kinda managed to kill my wavering interest. Learn speech, have anxiety attack, sleep. I think I should be able to do all that within the next hour or so. felt like forever @ 08:36 p.m. Thursday, January 23, 2003 ... Wah. We're supposed to present tomorrow. And we don't have our speech done and divided out. *gulps nervously* Though at least tomorrow's only the precursor to the actual event. Which is Saturday and I have /none/ of my parts memorized. Then again, I don't even know what parts I have for sure. ~_~ Terribly unorganized we are. And I should sleep before my body gives up on me and collapses. Stupid thing. And I've come to the conclusion that just sitting makes me terribly drowsy. felt like forever @ 01:18 a.m. Wednesday, January 22, 2003 Hrm. I'm debating now whether I should fic write some more. Hmm. I'm currently convincing myself to *not* orig. write, so fic might be better? I'm actually nearly done with the previously mentioned one, I just need a beginning to tie it all together.... And just because I thought of it after my long period of ignorance, I added a couple of links. One to FD-san's blog, which I really should have put there a while ago and one to this blog which I find myself reading on a semi-regular basis. Whee. There would be more, but I can't think of them. Fire From Heaven is an interesting read. I'm not that far into it, I forgot it at home today so I couldn't read at school, but I'm hoping to finish it and then finish reading The Persian Boy. I'm normally not one for historical anything, but I'm loving Renault. felt like forever @ 01:36 a.m. Tuesday, January 21, 2003 New proof that Life isn't fair: I won first place in the subdivision of my science fair. I actually feel more guilty than happy since I did the whole thing within four days, the experiment part, and then the board within a few hours. Plus, my board was crappy and undecorative/creative. And I won. This is a sad world for the microbiology. So sleepy... I started writing a fic and am, gasp, trying to force myself into finishing it. ~_~ I wonder if anyone'd like to read it though, since it's hardly present Hatori/Ayame psuedofluff. Who cares though, I'm writing because it's something I /want/ to write. *<3s that pairing at the moment* Nowhere near done, except for the ending, and I'm trying to improve on my descriptions. I want to make it longer, yet at the same time my essay writing ethics are kicking in, which is bad when doing ficion.
felt like forever @ 08:40 p.m. Sunday, January 19, 2003 n.n;;; Okay, WARNING. This entry contains my crappy attempt at poetry. Gahaha. *sweatdrops* So far I've had one opinion, who matters to me a great deal, but I kinda think she's biased.... (well, she said it was good). SO, yeah, read if you want to. This is the aftermath of a day of trying to write lyrics for the past couple days and listening to Always by Saliva on a continuous loop.
I broke my promise without a thought
I rose from the depths of nothing,
I stumbled but always you
If you were only an illusion
n.n;;; It was set for Kaine, but I don't know how well that comes across. Or, at least, Kaine was what I had in my mind when writing it. felt like forever @ 08:13 p.m. Wednesday, January 15, 2003 I d/led MSN messenger... n.n;; For anyone who happens to want to know, my sn is akarui108(@hotmail.com). Whee. Now if the world would just be nice and stop tilting precariously.... felt like forever @ 09:29 p.m. Sunday, January 5, 2003 Teach me to watch a movie that almost made me cry right before going to sleep. *grumbles* I had a rather angst-filled dream last night, the most vivid one I've had in a while. It... actually wasn't that unpleasant, just... angsty-ish. Actually, it was like a fanfic dream type thing - I was writing the fic but at the same time viewing what was happening. Anyway, it was a Sirius/Remus type thing. (They kind of look like they do in this one fanart that I like). Starting off, it was actually on the borderline sappy side. Much flirting and happiness and affection and such. Then... things got worse and stranger. Some reason there were rumors of evil lurking in these woods nearby (not the Forbidden Forest... they were just regular woods which was why the evil thing was a problem), so Sirius went to 'take care of it'. Thing is, he didn't tell Remus he was going, thinking something along the lines that he could take care of it himself and not wanting to endanger the other, so he just left. Then it kind of switches abruptly to where I'm staring blankly at an open document trying to think of what to write next. I guess I got an idea, cause I start typing and it goes back to viewing. Remus wakes up (he was napping when Sirius left, so it was borderline evening) and has an odd feeling. He starts looking for Sirius and discovers he's gone. Normally he wouldn't make that much of it, but for some reason he starts to worry and is fixing to leave when Snape shows up. They have words (I don't remember the dialogue), but the basic gist was that Snape knew where Black had so he told Lupin. By this point, Sirius is rather deep into the woods and can't find anything amiss, so he's muttering to himself and fixing to go back home. From behind, there's the sound of leaves crunching. He freezes, hand on his wand, then turns to face who or what it is. Severus and Remus are in the woods, running and arguing. Remus keeps asking him about what he knows that he hasn't told yet; Severus replies that he knows a great many things he'd never tell to Lupin and for him to just shut up and hurry. Scowling, Remus falls into a moody silence and focuses on finding Sirius (I think they were supposed to be tracking him). Midstep he falls to the ground, feeling a searing pain, then there's a scream. Pushing himself, Sirius tries to see who his attacker is, but is unable to because there's blood running down his face to obscure his vision. He can taste blood in his mouth and has one arm placed against his side trying to stop the bleeding. There's the sound of movement again and he gets kicked in the side. The person speaks, voice sounding strained (Sirius managed to get off some kind of spell before he himself got hurt) and says something along the lines of: 'Thought you could hide/run forever, Black? You're such a pathetic fool. I've waited for this moment. Fade into the past; no one's going to miss you once you're gone.' He recognizes who it is, but too late. He's killed. While walking, Remus once more falls to the ground, this time letting out an agonized yell. He felt Sirius die, felt it as if half of his soul, his being, had just been ripped to shreds. Severus kneels in front of him and tries to help him up. Once Remus lifts his head ever so slightly, Snape lets out a quiet gasp and his eyes widen, startled by the utterly stricken look of anguish on the other's visage. Remus's eyes are wide and empty. He's not crying for the mere fact that the pain he feels transcends even that that can be expressed with tears. However, a part of his mind pushes aside his grief angrily and he rises. This part desires merely revenge for that which was taken from him. He pushes Snape away with surprising force and springs lightly to his feet before running wildly off into the woods. Cursing under his breath, Severus hurries after Lupin. There was another pause here of me looking at the computer screen. Some reason I checked my e-mail, then began writing again. Remus manages to find where Sirius's body lays. The 'evil' is still there. It's Lucius Malfoy (or, at least, I think it was supposed to be). At this point, Remus appears rather crazed and bruised - he ran heedlessly and fell a few times, got scratched on branches and such. Once there, he yells something, wand poised and ready. Malfoy just sort of looks up at him with a smirk, despite the fact part of his hair is matted and there's blood trailing down the side of his face. He speaks in a rather snide voice. Again, can't remember exact dialogue, but it's along the lines of him asking what Lupin's going to do now; If he extracts revenge by killing, then he'll only end up in Azkaban. He then goes on to say that it was most fortunate that Black was a wanted murderer already otherwise it might've made it harder to kill him without fuss. For some reason Remus can't seem to be able to get anything cast off effectively, though he keeps trying. Snape manages to catch up, sees the scene, then restrains Remus. He then turns coldly on Malfoy and says something (completely forget what). Malfoy just continues to smirk, says 'happy birthday Severus' and prepares to apparate (I think that's the word) away. At that moment, Remus finally looks over and sees Sirius (he'd been trying to avoid looking over, afraid his anger would give way to easily to the growing sadness). Suddenly, another, familiar, pain rises - he's transforming despite that fact that it is barely dusk and nowhere near a full moon. He doesn't mind the pain, though, as it is a mere shard compared to that which pierced his heart when Sirius died. Snape can tell what's happening, he says something; Malfoy just looks kind of puzzled, not suspecting. The wolf has the sole want of avenging his mate and, with Remus's spirit being so broken, there's nothing to keep him from taking over and arising from within Lupin. *coughs* And there ends the condensed version of my dream. ^^;; Sure it's odd, but, what can I say, it's not like I can control my subconscious. It was veeeeery detailed and I'm sure there's some stuff I either just barely skimmed or left out entirely. The re-telling's worse anyway. Ee... My computer keeps screwing up... had to type this in notepad since it would've crashed two times otherwise. And my internet's being... strange. Sometimes when it disconnects it makes the whole thing crash. felt like forever @ 11:44 p.m. Saturday, January 4, 2003 I... feel... like... ...gah. Sometimes, I really, really, really hate being female. Now is one of those times. Normally not a big deal but... at moment... grr, very grr. I ache... and my brain's turned to mush. *dies* I'm hoping this passes quickly... no wanna take medicine... already have taken to much medicine in past... can't be healthy. Nothing's wrong other than that... but it's making me just feel rather listless. I'm vegetating. Blah. *pokes at forming cobwebs* felt like forever @ 10:21 p.m. Saturday, December 28, 2002 I wonder if this is true.... felt like forever @ 10:48 p.m. Monday, December 23, 2002 A rather belated happy birthday to you, if it means anything to you. That's kinda all I can offer right now, as I haven't 'made' anything in a long while. I don't mean that as an excuse, just a simple statement of fact. In other news, I feel, in the purest sense of the world, happy. There's really no justification or anything behind it... I just am, have been, for the past few days. I'm still worrying about a few things, but even so... I'm just happy. Which is only a big deal in the sense that it's been a long while since I've felt this way. Nothing's really changed, I'm just in a state where I'm perfectly content just existing. (I'm also, whether consciously or unconsciouly, trying to get rid of those thoughts and feelings in my head that make me unstable). ^^;;; I still have plenty of issues, but I'm trying to get rid of the worse ones. (I'd still probably need professional help, but I can't get/afford that at the moment). *scratches head* I wonder if that sounds strange. Oh well. I also wrote something, it was sad, but meant to be sad rather than a reflection of emotion on my part. I think, as usual, that it's not good, but the one person who read it at present told me it was good and made her cry. I was glowy after that since I took it as a good compliment that my writing got the effect that I wanted it to have (no, not glowy because I made her cry). Unfortunately, for pretty much everyone reading this, what I wrote is unreadable at the present time. Why? Because it's the ending part to my story which is faaaaaar from being anywhere near done. So, yeah, it wouldn't make much sense plus it's a spoiler for something that'll be rather obvious once I get my lazy self to writing it. ^^;;; It's something to go in one of the next to last chapters of Part Two (Part One still not begun yet). So, yeah, it only makes full sense to me. ^^;;; I should start writing stuff that other people can understand in reading it without me needing to provide explanation. Though... *runs from fic ideas* I'm going to see LOTR: TTT with friends tomorrow. ^^; It should be fun, but I'm thinking I have to act as buffer from one friend, as the other two'd probably kill her if they sat by her. ^^;; (One already said she wouldn't sit by her under threat of throwing popcorn). I'm looking forward to it though, I've /so/ wanted to see this movie and all the better that I'm seeing it with people I like. ^_^ And on a closing note, I'm going to take this moment to go into teenageish girly mode. ^^:;; *watches everyone run away* Highlight to read, don't say I didn't give the chance to spare you. ^^;
I hugged the guy I have a crush on/am pathetically in love with! ^^;; Okay, I know that's normally not a big deal, but it is for me since I'm not the type to hug people on an annual basis. He's my friend and he also knows how I feel (since I told him as much just for the sake of not having that to regret) and he was okay with it (Did I write about that here? My memory's going stale). Plus it was the first time in a really long time (and I mean REALLY) that I was the one to instigate the hugging. ^^:;; (I kinda asked him, he didn't seem to mind, so I hugged him). I think it amused him (he kinda smiled/laughed as we were saying bye), but all in all he was okay with it (as I've known him, he doesn't strike me as the huggy type ^^;;;). That happened the last day of school before break, last friday, and left me smiling idiotically all day (I had to forcibly repress it around 'certain people'.)
I love this song now. It's 'Lux Aeterna' which I downloaded from here which is a good site for winamp skins.
Sleeeeeeeeep is caaaaaaaaaaaaalling meeeeeee. *clunks* Zzzz.
felt like forever @ 12:41 a.m.
Thursday, December 12, 2002
I've determined that I seriously need to see a psychiatrist. Why? Because I pretty much fill all the qualifications of being Borderline. But, as it currently is, I won't allow myself to actually go to someone who might be able to, y'know, help.
felt like forever @ 05:29 p.m.
Tuesday, December 3, 2002
Hmm.
Not much to say.
Back in school, have vocabulary quizzes tomorrow I don't want to study for.
Thanksgiving wasn't anything of note... it just was. Though I at least didn't have to go to aunts' which was good because it means I didn't have to spend a day with a lot of people smoking and drinking.
Got back a more 'detailed' result from Ready Writing competition. Pretty much knew all it said already. (that my examples weren't expounded enough upon, parts were too wordy and the like). So no big there.
I need to grow bacteria soon. It's for science fair experiment. Whee.
felt like forever @ 09:21 p.m.
Saturday, November 23, 2002
Meh. I feel incredibly tired. I think whatever sinus infection I contracted's gone now after, oh what, four or five days of taking lotsa aspirin. This's first day since then that I haven't taken any at all and I'm getting drowsy... though that's more than likely due to the fact I was up before six on about four hours of sleep.
Had the first Ready Writing practice competition, I think I did badly. Then again, I normally do badly with timed writing so I need to work on improving that which I'm hoping this will do. Though, I was a bit misinformed. I was under the impression we got three hours to write, we got two. The ironic thing is in this though is that the only one of our three person group to place was our alternate. Guy who was initially supposed to be there didn't show up, which didn't really surprise me since he's told me before he can't stand getting up early. Hopefully I'll do better next time, need to start keeping up with the news...
And after having two days of cold water, one day of lukewarm water, and then one day of no water I'm incredibly thankful for hot water. *sweatdrops* I'm horridly disorganized but compulsively have a need to keep myself clean. I felt rather disgusting going just one day without showering and was resorting to using bottled water we had to wash my face. *sweatdrops* I /so/ wonder how I'm going to get through Europe though I think in that planning we're still going to shower daily... we better. I took two showers today though to make up for it. It's also unpleasant to have to shower with just cold water while sick, but better than nothing.
Week off for Thanksgiving... I'm paradoxically happy about it. On the one hand, get free time to catch up on sleep and e-mails and reading and such, on the other hand, means extra time stuck at home. Meh.
I had something else to say, but I completely forgot whatever it was. *kicks faulty memory and falls asleep across keyboard* Zzz.
felt like forever @ 10:11 p.m.
|
