Autumn Song

Saturday, August 30, 2003

Urbanised
(Esplanade, Singapore, 2003)
by Esther

On a beautiful Saturday, I
journey to a distant nearby
to envelope myself
in the swaths of a natural
urban landscape.

How perfectly structured, they stand
proud and tall,
branding the leading symbols of
industry and commerce,
uneven in built, height, orientation, shape
yet breathing in the all-important
air of urbanisation.

This is clean, high class urbanisation;
It is not polluted with
greyish brown smudges of
industrial gloom,
drowning in splashes of
cold, muddy rainfall.
It is a beautiful city I am looking at,
one beside the sea,
where Merlion spews a fountain of
ever-refreshing clear water.

I am not constricted by urbanisation.
I can still see the sky
painted in baby blue, with cotton
scrubs of a domestic bathroom.
The city is merely a backdrop
to enhance
the grinning, lapping sea,
reflecting a gentle sunshine
of a happy morning.

I am an urban schoolgirl:
It is this landscape that will
help me explore
the fantasies
that hide in unexpected places.
I do not want to be ordinary.
Fairies can dance among the
buildings as well as trees,
skipping across the water to
a silent paradise.
Mermaids swim in clear waters all over:
they can swim to Venice.

Who will believe me if I tell
of natural tales in an urban landscape?
There is nature too,
no urban city can be perfect without nature.
It is this harmony where
two worlds meet
where happiness is present and
sustained.
I need my city to imagine a forest.

I am urbanised.

=====

Comment
from my city, my canvas by Heng Siok Tian

He caught her
with a lasso made of stars.

She tells herself
she will climb mountains
with him;
look for an island
where they can build a roof garden,
swim in lyric lagoon
and make their own bonfire.

Does she forget
a lasso also hangs?

=====

Currently reading my city, my canvas, a collection of poems by local poet Heng Siok Tian, whom I greatly admire both as a person and as a poet. This latest interest in local poetry could perhaps explain the style of the latest two poems I've written, namely Pimples and Urbanised. Suddenly my previous rhyme and rhythm preferences seem rigid. The new style is refreshing and I am very pleased with my latest two works as well as with my personal calling to be a poet.

I'm recovering from depression thanks to my God and my friends.

Some updates on what has happened so far:

On Monday, I went out to the Esplanade, Marina Square and City Link with Colin kor, who gave me a coffee book (?) and a specially-burned cd.

On Tuesday, I had tea at the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf with Xin Yi. At night, I went to the church prayer meeting with my father on the spur of the moment.

On Thursday, I had tea with Xin Yi at the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf again. Before Xin Yi came, I was entertained by a young Caucasian (?) girl's storytelling. When I reached home I did some GP. In the evening, I got some medicine for my ulcers and wax for the brace brackets with the help of a very nice young dentist who gave me a 25% discount because I didn't bring enough money (I paid $45 instead of the standard $60 fee). While waiting my turn at the dental clinic I walked around Clementi emporium and read some Mr. Men books at the Big Bookshop. In the evening, I planned my revision timetable and looked for information on the University of Bristol. I don't mind studying in any university, but I really want to go to the UK and to Bristol specifically because it is ranked top in Geography and I believe quite strongly in rankings. On Thursday, I declared myself officially out of depression. I started doing my Quiet Time again, and read Proverbs 1. The maid was sacked deservingly today, and I feel more secure and comfortable in my house.

On Friday, I did some Economic Geography then went out with Xin Yi. We visited Mdm. Tee in Nanyang for Teachers' Day, enjoyed a comfortable taxi ride to Orchard, ate a Sakae sushi buffet lunch and walked around Borders and Orchard library, where I borrowed my city, my canvas by Heng Siok Tian, Baby Blues 13 Scrapbook: I shouldn't have to scream more than once!!! by Rick Kirkman and Jerry Scott and Spider-man (the official novelization of the film) by Peter David. We also sampled some ice-blendeds at the Coffee Club Express at Wisma Atria, which are really price-competitive and good. In the evening, I alternated between my city, my canvas and I shouldn't have to scream more than once!!!. I proclaimed myself a fan of Heng Siok Tian's writing. After bath time, I succumbed to inspiration and spent hours writing Pimples, a poem which I am proud of and enjoy reading repeatedly.

Today, I continued alternating between my city, my canvas and I shouldn't have to scream more than once!!! then made my way to the Esplanade where I enjoyed a cream of chicken pasta and bitter black coffee for lunch, and read Proverbs 2 (because I didn't do my Quiet Time last night) and my city, my canvas at a four-seater at the Arts Digest. I continued studying Economic Geography. Distracted, I walked around the library and was impressed with its books especially its film novelizations which I hope to get my hands on in the distant future. I also made use of the library's multimedia facilities (mainly to access my blog and reread Pimples). I went out of the Esplanade and admired the scenery before going back in. Although I tried to study I just didn't want to so I wrote Urbanised. After just a little bit more work, I packed up and left the library, bought chocolate-dipped strawberries and strolled quite far from the Esplanade along the sea, admiring the scenery, the metal sculpture and the couples, smiling twice at the two people who called me to go for the river tour. Then I took the Esplanade lift for the first time, was smiled at by some friendly Cantonese-speaking people -probably Hong Kong tourists- and strolled back to the MRT station (on the way visiting some City Link shops like Happy House, Ig's and HMV [listened to Hao3 Xin1 Fen1 Shou3!], and meeting Janice along the way). Today's cd was the cd kor burnt for me. I love tracks 10 ("Where is the love", the first rap song I actually like), 11 ("Yu Jian" by Stefanie Sun) and 16. Apparently there were 7 chocolate-dipped strawberries in my bag instead of 6; I had 2 by the bay, 1 when I reached home, gave 1 each to my dad, mom and brother and am left with 1 more. My parents gave quite positive comments on Urbanised and I talked to them about my poetry styles and preferences. I shared tracks 10, 11 and 16 of the cd kor burnt for me with my brother and saw my dad off (he's going to Malaysia).

I have been happy with solitude and with friends, and have been leading a pretty balanced life. I'm not as distracted in my studies, I have done some work and I have plans though I am not rigidly following them. Quiet Time will continue every night. Tonight my mom will buy me a Long John Silver's meal. Tomorrow I will go to church. I have some lessons on Tuesday and Wednesday. On Wednesday night I will meet Chooi Mei to catch the latest long-awaited Orlando Bloom movie, Pirates of the Caribbean (really thanks to Mei, who won free movie tickets again -grin-). Thursday is my GP promotional exam. Next week looks like a good week.

God bless you.

Autumn leaves blew along life's breeze 06:02 p.m.

Friday, August 29, 2003

I think this is one of the best poems, if not the best, I have ever written.

Pimples
(After breakup)

Three unwanted blemishes,
unwelcome protrusions,
lie like broken stones along a broken landscape,
starkly obvious, revealing
a part of me that I want unrevealed.
I need to get rid of you.

White is not pure,
she deceives.
She is beautiful and protective
like a wedding gown
but she grows out,
grows bigger and
chokes.
She is waste, unhealthy.

I could use the quick slice
of a knife,
just one second to pull you from the fumes
that enchant but kill
(I need to kill her before she kills you),
but I fear
the sharp harshness
of strong steel -
it would hurt more in the end.
No, I need to force her out,
until she has no choice
but to leave.

It is a small operation really,
I have practised it a thousand times
until I am numb to your pain.
It is good for you,
good for me,
so I will do it.
(It doesn't hurt to enjoy myself in the process.)

I just did it yesterday
and covered your holes with gel.
It hurt
but it will help.
I don't want her to come back.
Why is there more today?
Are you protesting
or do you want me to do it
again?

I want you
but you are incubated like an egg.
It is the inside that I want,
the sun.
I need to force the clouds out.
I will force the clouds out.
You must cover yourself up with your skin,
not bare yourself naked to a deceiver
that will not protect forever.
(I will show you how she leaves easily.)

So the tips of my fingers press
on both your sides
(don't you love my fingers?).
I know I am squashing your breath out of you,
but she is a part of you
and I need to get her out.
You need to get her out.

Just a few pushes and she'll be out
like a baby who's been parasitic
too long.
You want to be free,
you can't have a burden
(she disguises herself as a promise).
The best things in life are not free.
No pain, no gain.
(This is the wisdom of my god,
I leave all to him and
you should too.
He understands your pain
but I don't
nor do I want to.)

I see you screaming,
I see your blood that flows
out with her.
It is a sacrifice,
blood is always a sacrifice.
I need to suffocate you some more,
close you up
so she will leave.
You won't understand,
but it is good for you.
You can scream
but I will not hear.
It is a little sacrifice
but it is good for you.

Of course she runs,
you're both in trouble so she has to leave.
It is easy for me to see,
but not for you because
you cry too much.
I need to kill you because
you force yourself into my path

and trip me.

You do so because you
want me to take care of myself
but in so doing I have to take care of you.
I can take care of myself.
I have been doing so for eighteen years.

You trip me.

I must wipe her out thoroughly,
and you along
until she is purged entirely.
I don't mean to hurt you,
but she cannot stay.
Deluxe toilet paper is comfortable
and convenient,
just right for the cleaning.
(Everything must be done in the bathroom
where I can see my progress in the mirror
and watch you hurt.)

I wipe
again and
again
until the paper is stained with blood,
your blood.
White blends with white -
see how she cannot stay with you
because she mixes so easily with the snow?
A part of you goes along with them
but you stand out because
you are not a part of them.
You are a part of me.
(But if you are a part of me,
you should have drowned in my darkness -
why do I see your blood so clearly?
It is because you don't let me control you
and cover you up.
You want more of me.
I can't give up my darkness for your sun.)

I can't differentiate
and
I can't integrate
so I need time out.
You ruin my image.
I can't accept myself
so I need to get rid of you.

There, she is gone
and with your blood thrown into the dustbin.
All is well
until she comes along again.
You've stopped your bleeding
and your screaming
has turned into the silence of solitude.
You hurt
and your words lash
in dissonant fragments
because you've no more blood to spill
(Words are the only way you know.
We are different,
I enjoy my silence while you cry
and talk too much
and make yourself more irritating.
I prefer the company of other,
more pretty things
which surround me and hang on to my every word -
loud and exuberant -
and laughter.
I smile without you.)

In place of the blood I squeezed
I see the tear
transparent with a reddish tint
ooze slowly out your mouth.
It protects where she cannot,
where she left,
where I forced her to leave.
It is another barrier
that pushes you away from me,
but if I wipe it more will come.
No, I leave it to vanish
on its own.
Time heals all wounds.

I gel up your holes no more.
I am sorry but
I will not do anything for your hurt;
if I do so there will be
no gel left for my hair.

It is inevitable,
you annoy me too much.
She has to go, but
I couldn't tell you earlier
that you have to die too.

The UK air is not for you.
In the UK, none of you will trouble me.
I need to do my Maths,
as always.

Autumn leaves blew along life's breeze 09:46 p.m.

Monday, August 25, 2003

I wonder if I'm breaking my hiatus. It's good to have an outlet but not to overly depend on it. Maybe not. Maybe I'm just posting a bit here.

JT isn't here today so yep. So much for being worried about Econs the whole day. But that's not the point. The point is I went even further down today, if there's an even further down to go.

Was tearing on the way to school. Yep v tired 'cos not eating ('cos the braces cut into my teeth and not eating not only destroys me physically it also destroys me psychologically 'cos I know that I'm not eating). Exchanged a few sms with DW. He sounds sagely perhaps which only (?) makes things worse 'cos I don't know...I'm not thinking straight. Not sure about anything.

Good to leave 'cos I'm starting to feel the world hates me and I'm starting to hate the world for reasons that aren't justified. Getting sensitive at the slightest things and people seem hostile now? When they do that is. The others are still trying to be nice but I'm afraid of telling them the truth 'cos it could mean discrimination. How often can I hide the truth though? It's getting very obvious.

Even Serene today said I looked v tired and stressed and I had to just say out loud that the truth was that I'm mentally unsound. That's the trouble with being too open. You get something out but you worry about the consequences? I don't know even if I worry. I don't think I feel anymore. I'm not even in control of my own feelings. The anger and sadness, they just come and go for no reason and they leave me feeling drained.

But I realised in my 'calm' point just now in the midst of all the chaos (thank God for at least a while of calmness) that things are getting really bad. And Cheryl and Serene thought I'd been crying. I don't know. My nose is bad; I don't know if I'm getting sick. It's like I perpetually am gasping for breath, running on little air...don't know why I'm so excited too. Sometimes I'm just sian and I completely go limp, actually slept in the canteen today instead of studying in the morning like I was supposed to, been sleeping more...

And the problem is that I really can't think logically. That things are really out of control. I'm saying the strangest stuff against God and everyone else and well maybe against DW, or maybe even by itself, I'm sounding awfully immature. I really don't know but I read the Bible yesterday I think I should more and I should pray more too please please please pray for me 'cos if this goes on I won't survive and I know that if I crash again (now I'm just numb but I can crash anytime) I'm going to jump off a building. I don't want to tell anyone anything though the problems are crashing and bursting and least of all not DW anyway I know this relationship is over. It's over. He said something that could be a slip but made me think that he didn't love me or he doesn't care, I don't know but I think given my current state too I'm not ready for a relationship I'm not even ready for life and I'm getting awfully distracted in my studies really can't study and losing the will to live I never imagined I could fall that far but well apparently I have and I'm crashing badly please pray please pray for me I think it was good to rant for a while goodbye I will go back to class now.

Autumn leaves blew along life's breeze 11:01 a.m.

Sunday, August 24, 2003

Things got worse today. I didn't have the heart to play the violin nor study and I just wandered around the Esplanade and City Link area. Got angry to the point that I couldn't breathe easily, got some really appreciated comfort from Nat. Mulled around at HMV for one hour listening to music. Been listening to a lot of music, just dredging out cds and plugging in my discman. Teared on the way home but tried not to cry. I'm bordering on irrationality and instability. There are perpetual tears in my eyes and perpetual voices in my head. My heart is crying. I'm getting sad and angry easily. I'm thinking of violence and suicide. I'm hurting myself to the extent of drawing blood. There seems to be no meaning in life. I don't smile. I'm very tired and can't-be-bothered. I've drifted far from God. I'm wallowing in depression. I'm not trusting my friends. I keep saying no one understands.

So, I'm taking a hiatus. To let everything cool off. To concentrate on my Prelims.

I really want to say a very deep and heartfelt THANK YOU to the friends who have stayed with me through the last 5 weeks, for being patient with me and for keeping me afloat, and to each individual who said a kind word or did something nice. Thank you so much.

Tomorrow I will go out with Colin kor after school. I hope to go to the Esplanade again to walk along the bay. We'll also shop for a nice something for Prisca which I'm going to air-mail over to Hong Kong very soon I hope.

Goodbye and see you all in the near future. God bless.

Autumn leaves blew along life's breeze 06:53 p.m.

Sunday, August 24, 2003

Change in comments system. Now posts on the same day will have the same comments page so people comment on one day's worth of posts instead of individual posts. That way I can blog in different entries without modifying previous entries so I can get comments (if there are) and write new entries (maybe even get updated comments).

I find squeezing pimples quite therapeutic. It's painful but beneficial and I do it daringly. Just squeeze hard until the pus shoots out suddenly, then clean the pus off (or later) and continue squeezing until there is no more pus and the red blood wells up. Quite fun really.

Tired. Think I'll wake up at 6a.m. to settle tomorrow's preparations and read the Bible, prepare my heart a bit. Been quite wayward. Come to think of it I'm not prepared for tomorrow's discussion with De Wen. Lost all interest in everything, in life, in relationships...and most recently in my obsession with fertility. I've always been obsessed with this idea (and related ones) since primary school and recently kinda bearing that in mind when I hurt my genitals - don't want to go infertile but now it's like who cares.

Need sleep. Past 2a.m. already. Getting less than 4 hours sleep tonight. Oh no I just realise I have Econs homework too. Guess that means less Maths 'cos I want to get some of my real homework done by tomorrow instead of owing them. Good night and God bless.

Autumn leaves blew along life's breeze 02:05 a.m.

Sunday, August 24, 2003

Change in comments system. Now posts on the same day will have the same comments page so people comment on one day's worth of posts instead of individual posts. That way I can blog in different entries without modifying previous entries so I can get comments (if there are) and write new entries (maybe even get updated comments).

I find squeezing pimples quite therapeutic. It's painful but beneficial and I do it daringly. Just squeeze hard until the pus shoots out suddenly, then clean the pus off (or later) and continue squeezing until there is no more pus and the red blood wells up. Quite fun really.

Tired. Think I'll wake up at 6a.m. to settle tomorrow's preparations and read the Bible, prepare my heart a bit. Been quite wayward. Come to think of it I'm not prepared for tomorrow's discussion with De Wen. Lost all interest in everything, in life, in relationships...and most recently in my obsession with fertility. I've always been obsessed with this idea (and related ones) since primary school and recently kinda bearing that in mind when I hurt my genitals - don't want to go infertile but now it's like who cares.

Need sleep. Past 2a.m. already. Getting less than 4 hours sleep tonight. Oh no I just realise I have Econs homework too. Guess that means less Maths 'cos I want to get some of my real homework done by tomorrow instead of owing them. Good night and God bless.

Autumn leaves blew along life's breeze 02:05 a.m.

Sunday, August 24, 2003

Really thankful to my kor Colin for taking the time off to encourage me etc. Appreciate it lots.

Prisca initiated chat too. Had a great talk with her though I was tired and still in this depressive state.

Went to IMM today then the Esplanade. Mulled around here and there. Had quite an unproductive day though I finished about 14 questions of Maths (close to three J1 mock tests). Was basically copying answers from the answer sheet and figuring them out 'cos my J1 work is v bad. Had a really good time with Jevon. Found out later Sean was at the waterfront just after I left. Wish I could have spent some time with him. Wish I could have spent time with family too (parents were at Plaza Singapura and then Raffles City, brother at home).

Doing chairing and song-leading tomorrow for Open Sunday. Liz is on guitar. A little mad at the class on the whole 'cos they either can't make it or have valid reasons or don't want to do it or totally don't reply my sms. I try to understand their reasons and even think maybe they changed their hp. no. and can't be contacted, and I know I'm being irrational. I think they would help out if I asked them again and told them there weren't enough people, but I just can't be bothered. I'll just do it. Can't even be bothered to remind Liz to turn up tomorrow; if she doesn't one of the guys from the other class will do guitar. The other classes are nice, they will help with the chairs, everything. I should sms the class to ask them to come early to arrange chairs but I just can't be bothered. People will help out. Grateful for the song suggestions - Rachel Yeo says to make the songs more lively. Will consider that when I choose the songs later and do up the programme. It'll be a short task really, less than 20min on my part before the message and closing 5-10 min or so, just facilitating the whole thing, getting things done and getting people to pray. Even thought of things like where to get the chairs, song books, offering bag, reminded teacher of the card. I'm not crossing into inappropriacy but I am taking this responsibility very seriously. Unfortunately I'm just a little stoned and not in the mood. I'm not against my friends seriously. I guess this period has just been rough for me and I just cracked up is all.

Tomorrow is my last violin lesson. I'm dropping violin.

Going to continue Maths tomorrow I guess. Then spend the night doing Geog and Lit homework. A lot of work to do. Don't even know if I will do.

Now that I think of it how am I going to fit De Wen in tomorrow? Thing is today I bombarded him with sms in the morning, then later in the evening again and I kinda forced him to trash things out. He couldn't make it tonight so we're going to do it tomorrow, time to be confirmed by him tomorrow. I don't know how to feel really.

Been reading blogs, going down the list. Seems like many people are making their blogs quite private; I guess I appreciate the chance to be a part of that exclusive group of viewers of private blogs. Blogs really help, I feel. They help me know more about the blogger and think more about the blogger, and I guess as a general rule I feel closer to people I read my blog (Xin Yi and Jevon are exceptions, I like sharing with both of them). Came across this blog which hurt me a bit. I don't like entries that are directed towards an unstated 'you' 'cos it makes me think that person is directing whatever he/she is directing at me. The language was really strong, and it could apply to me, but when I read it I just felt that that person didn't understand me. What else to say?

Really hungry. Ate porridge and bird nest just now. Ulcers on both inside cheeks where the metal has been repeatedly rubbing. It hurts naturally and it hurts even more when I move my mouth say to eat. Didn't feel like eating but finished my dinner just now. Pulled a record just now - didn't finish my Expresso Frapp at Starbucks and ate less than half of my Chocolate Macchiato.

Feeling tired. Going to sleep now. Wake up early to do preparation for tomorrow's Open Sunday. Ironically I'm mentally prepared - have been that way, just tired and resigned, but guess I should pray about the song choices and all then do it. Tomorrow as usual. Just want to sleep now. Glad for good sleep 'cos I've been tired and sleeping late. Should pull myself together. Been crying too much.

Oh yes, -waves- to Xiaoyuan. Yep of course I remember you. You take care. Yep and I talked to Yang too tonight for the first time. Nothing much to say but it was cool talking to her too. Hungry...should go to sleep now. Good night and God bless. Please pray for me and De Wen. I don't know if I care anymore. I don't know if I care about anything anymore actually. I think I'm just dead to everything.

Found out the rose and petals were taken out of my toilet don't know when. Thrown away.

Autumn leaves blew along life's breeze 01:12 a.m.

Sunday, August 24, 2003

Really thankful to my kor Colin for taking the time off to encourage me etc. Appreciate it lots.

Prisca initiated chat too. Had a great talk with her though I was tired and still in this depressive state.

Went to IMM today then the Esplanade. Mulled around here and there. Had quite an unproductive day though I finished about 14 questions of Maths (close to three J1 mock tests). Was basically copying answers from the answer sheet and figuring them out 'cos my J1 work is v bad. Had a really good time with Jevon. Found out later Sean was at the waterfront just after I left. Wish I could have spent some time with him. Wish I could have spent time with family too (parents were at Plaza Singapura and then Raffles City, brother at home).

Doing chairing and song-leading tomorrow for Open Sunday. Liz is on guitar. A little mad at the class on the whole 'cos they either can't make it or have valid reasons or don't want to do it or totally don't reply my sms. I try to understand their reasons and even think maybe they changed their hp. no. and can't be contacted, and I know I'm being irrational. I think they would help out if I asked them again and told them there weren't enough people, but I just can't be bothered. I'll just do it. Can't even be bothered to remind Liz to turn up tomorrow; if she doesn't one of the guys from the other class will do guitar. The other classes are nice, they will help with the chairs, everything. I should sms the class to ask them to come early to arrange chairs but I just can't be bothered. People will help out. Grateful for the song suggestions - Rachel Yeo says to make the songs more lively. Will consider that when I choose the songs later and do up the programme. It'll be a short task really, less than 20min on my part before the message and closing 5-10 min or so, just facilitating the whole thing, getting things done and getting people to pray. Even thought of things like where to get the chairs, song books, offering bag, reminded teacher of the card. I'm not crossing into inappropriacy but I am taking this responsibility very seriously. Unfortunately I'm just a little stoned and not in the mood. I'm not against my friends seriously. I guess this period has just been rough for me and I just cracked up is all.

Tomorrow is my last violin lesson. I'm dropping violin.

Going to continue Maths tomorrow I guess. Then spend the night doing Geog and Lit homework. A lot of work to do. Don't even know if I will do.

Now that I think of it how am I going to fit De Wen in tomorrow? Thing is today I bombarded him with sms in the morning, then later in the evening again and I kinda forced him to trash things out. He couldn't make it tonight so we're going to do it tomorrow, time to be confirmed by him tomorrow. I don't know how to feel really.

Been reading blogs, going down the list. Seems like many people are making their blogs quite private; I guess I appreciate the chance to be a part of that exclusive group of viewers of private blogs. Blogs really help, I feel. They help me know more about the blogger and think more about the blogger, and I guess as a general rule I feel closer to people I read my blog (Xin Yi and Jevon are exceptions, I like sharing with both of them). Came across this blog which hurt me a bit. I don't like entries that are directed towards an unstated 'you' 'cos it makes me think that person is directing whatever he/she is directing at me. The language was really strong, and it could apply to me, but when I read it I just felt that that person didn't understand me. What else to say?

Really hungry. Ate porridge and bird nest just now. Ulcers on both inside cheeks where the metal has been repeatedly rubbing. It hurts naturally and it hurts even more when I move my mouth say to eat. Didn't feel like eating but finished my dinner just now. Pulled a record just now - didn't finish my Expresso Frapp at Starbucks and ate less than half of my Chocolate Macchiato.

Feeling tired. Going to sleep now. Wake up early to do preparation for tomorrow's Open Sunday. Ironically I'm mentally prepared - have been that way, just tired and resigned, but guess I should pray about the song choices and all then do it. Tomorrow as usual. Just want to sleep now. Glad for good sleep 'cos I've been tired and sleeping late. Should pull myself together. Been crying too much.

Oh yes, -waves- to Xiaoyuan. Yep of course I remember you. You take care. Yep and I talked to Yang too tonight for the first time. Nothing much to say but it was cool talking to her too. Hungry...should go to sleep now. Good night and God bless. Please pray for me and De Wen. I don't know if I care anymore. I don't know if I care about anything anymore actually. I think I'm just dead to everything.

Found out the rose and petals were taken out of my toilet don't know when. Thrown away.

Autumn leaves blew along life's breeze 01:12 a.m.

Saturday, August 23, 2003

Dammnit now I feel like crying even more mom just came in told me to go down for breakfast thing is I don't like people just upsetting my plans and I wasn't intending to eat breakfast I wanted to just go out to the Esplanade and I don't know told mom I couldn't eat 'cos my teeth hurt then she told me we were going out tonight and I made a face kinda pissed going out again then she said we need time as a family and I said didn't we just have time yesterday 'cos we went out for ice-cream yesterday even though I didn't want to go I know I said I wanted to go but seriously I'm so sad now I just want to be left alone maybe and now I feel like crying like no one understands and I think I'll just go to the toilet and change into last week's washed outfit 'cos I like it specially saved it for today then go out to the Esplanade and maybe find a nice bowl of porridge somewhere or something hurts when my teeth can't handle normal food what can I eat why am I going to the Esplanade actually maybe I should just go to Jurong Starbucks 'cos it's near and do Maths there I don't know I don't know just stop disturbing me now don't I sound just like DW I don't know I just don't know maybe everyone should just forget about me forget I even existed and just leave me to die...

Autumn leaves blew along life's breeze 10:33 a.m.

Saturday, August 23, 2003

Dammnit now I feel like crying even more mom just came in told me to go down for breakfast thing is I don't like people just upsetting my plans and I wasn't intending to eat breakfast I wanted to just go out to the Esplanade and I don't know told mom I couldn't eat 'cos my teeth hurt then she told me we were going out tonight and I made a face kinda pissed going out again then she said we need time as a family and I said didn't we just have time yesterday 'cos we went out for ice-cream yesterday even though I didn't want to go I know I said I wanted to go but seriously I'm so sad now I just want to be left alone maybe and now I feel like crying like no one understands and I think I'll just go to the toilet and change into last week's washed outfit 'cos I like it specially saved it for today then go out to the Esplanade and maybe find a nice bowl of porridge somewhere or something hurts when my teeth can't handle normal food what can I eat why am I going to the Esplanade actually maybe I should just go to Jurong Starbucks 'cos it's near and do Maths there I don't know I don't know just stop disturbing me now don't I sound just like DW I don't know I just don't know maybe everyone should just forget about me forget I even existed and just leave me to die...

Autumn leaves blew along life's breeze 10:33 a.m.

Saturday, August 23, 2003

Just woke up from a very weird dream. It was so real I wonder if I really live in a fictional world.

I have the impression that I have been dreaming of him for the last three nights. I wonder what triggered yesterday's depression...it was just a downward slip then a plunge too far. Scary.

'The Prophet' is playing now. Thank God today I woke up wanted to listen to Faye Wong's 'Dan Yuan Ren Chang Jiu' (track 3) but the cd in my discman was Michael Card's 'Ancient Faith' cd 2 instead and when I hit track 3 it played 'The Lord is My Shepherd' instead which was comforting. This cd is really good, I think. It's the kind of cd that one can listen to from beginning to end instead of jumping tracks. Think it'll spend a while in my discman. Thank God.

Yesterday's dream was so clear. I can remember fragments of it.

THE DREAM - NOTE ALL EVENTS ARE PURELY FICTIONAL, NOTHING HAPPENED IN REAL LIFE, I AM AMAZED I COULD EVEN DREAM UP SUCH A STORYLINE

I saw him online and I said something challenging like 'What's up?' (see tone please) and he typed out the address to his blog. His blog, Viscosity (I know, if you read it you'll think what a nice guy he is compared to me, people have told me before though they didn't say 'compared to me' of course), with that all familiar pilgrim layout. It was a long entry with headings. I only remember him saying in his blog that he went to the airport to see his cousin off...called himself a chimpanzee (in a joking way) and spoke quite lightly like he was having a really good time (like he was going out with friends). He wrote about this Science thing to do. Apparently he seemed to have done a lot that day from what he wrote in his blog...there was this major Science thing then the airport at night. There was also this part where he wrote 'I've thought it through and I've decided that a break up is better for the two of us'.

Suddenly I was having Lit with Ms. Lim AH in this bookstore with a big space with chairs and a screen. It was a really pretty bookstore; it looked more like a big conference room where I was in camp though...and the bookshelves were made of nice smooth wood. I remember I was looking at the books there but couldn't remember what books exactly. Anyway I think he was supposed to have his Science thing at the same conference place. He was doing a project on stars I think, then I don't know why I suddenly felt like doing a project on stars, on the horoscopes, the origin of horoscopes and search the different properties of stars and relate them to different months of the year. Even the websites showed up in front of me.

I don't know how I met him. I think it was unfriendly, a cold meeting. But I was sitting on the stone steps in school outside the photocopying room and he was at the pillar in the inner plaza nearest the bookshop. Then I told him to come over, kind of forcefully. He did. Not sure what happened here but I'd been sending messages over sms without response and my phone kept dying (ok some semblance this one really happened yesterday which was good for him because I was in deep depression yesterday and I sent a very cruel message but my phone died so it didn't get through to him and the message got deleted). So he came over and we were supposed to talk before his Science thing.

We walked out of school towards Serene's Centre MacDonalds. And I started crying and raising my voice, and I said he should at least reply messages and that the worst thing you can do is to ignore me totally. Then he took my hand a little hesitantly, partially, not fully. Just held on to a little bit of it. And I said, "Why are you holding my hand if we're breaking up?" or something like that but he held on anyway. And I was crying. Then we passed the conference centre and Ms. Lim AH came out and saw me crying and was a little concerned but I said I was ok anyway (we were in our home clothes btw, we weren't pda-ing) and we continued walking on, then we reached the second floor of the MacDonalds by the back door (the real Serene's Centre MacDonalds has only one floor btw) and we sat at this four-seater. Two people were already sitting there but we sat there anyway on the cushioned chairs (as opposed to the individual ones). I wanted to sit beside him so I could be nearer to him but he told me to sit opposite him. Then he went to buy some food for us.

Somehow things just worked out. A good talk, then we went back to the conference centre place and he sat there on one of the chairs (third row extreme left) and did his Science homework and I was looking at books; there was one shelf that kept interesting me, but I can't remember what it was but what I remember though was that I woke up and I remembered the dream and I asked myself how I got so depressed yesterday and how come I could dream up such a realistic dream into my subconsciousness and my back tooth was hurting and I smsed him to tell him that I'd dreamed a dream that was real...so real but I didn't say anything else and as usual he hasn't responded, I really shouldn't expect him too anyway.

Just needed to write. Thinking of new layout. I want a very very sad one...full of grey dripping in viscous globs around and a dead rose and dead petals; they are still in my toilet.

But it helps listening to Michael Card. Woke up to a few sms. Kinda grateful for Aishu...she wrote a really sweet sms. Don't know why she's so nice, she's been so so nice, one of the friends with whom friendship blossomed extremely much after council. Really want to do other work (the stuff I owe) but Maths more important.

I guess one thing that will not be understood is that no matter how busy he is he could still spend one day/one short afternoon/one break/one morning with me in FIVE WEEKS. This is really not the way to treat your girlfriend. I can't wait for after As when he will snap out of his selfishness and finally start acting proper, a few months in a shared lifetime is little sacrifice. I just feel very played is all, and that he's a jerk. I don't know what to think really; why are there only two options? You know I actually see a future with him, yes long-term...I don't know maybe I'm just idealising everything. But somehow judgement is wrong and I hate everyone who tells me that sometimes I need to let go because all of you don't realise how much we shared...we shared A LOT and no one will ever know no one will ever know and no one will ever understand and suddenly the sharp realisation hits me that I try so much to make people understand by talking on and on but no no one will ever understand...

Wanted to call Nat out today to study together but decided not to. Don't know why, maybe I just wanted to be alone again. Just go to the Esplanade and immerse myself in Maths Maths Maths Maths Maths and get my A. I really want an A because I know I can get an A it's not impossible and on a more minor (really v v v v minor) note there's this niggling feeling that I'm going to get an A for Maths WITHOUT him. I'm not going to fail Maths for life. So there.

I know I'm living in a world on my own. I know. I know. I know. Ok? I know I'm typing a lot of strong feelings out and weird feelings...just need to get everything out and I don't know guess after going so low I'll come back up again and be more ready to tackle life. Thank you God for weekends really, I need the time alone.

Friend told me I relied too much on him in this relationship. I know. I knew. This was fatal. Shouldn't have been so dependent.

"That you are Lord, make all things new /And the blessings of the land we love are really gifts from you" ~"Heal Our Land" | Michael Card

Last track on the cd now - "Heal Our Land"...listened to 16 out of 18 tracks of this cd (started from track 3 remember). Helps a lot. Only that 'cos of my recent music spree I'm using up a lot of cheap batteries.

"If my people will humbly pray
And seek my face and turn away from all their wicked ways,
Then I will hear them and move my hand,
And freely then will I forgive and I will heal their land"

Thank you so much to all the anonymous people who've given me much Christian encouragement, to Sean also for talking about God last night even though I was getting irritated...thank you thank you thank you. (Still amazed at Sean for being so calm.)

Autumn leaves blew along life's breeze 09:30 a.m.

Friday, August 22, 2003

In deep depression now. Have been listening to music nonstop, banging Faye Wong and Stephanie Sun into my ears. Back to Michael Card for now though.

My MSN nick is "I hate you". This is in reference to all guys. I hate you with all my heart and soul I hate all of you guys you idiots idiots idiots stupid stupid stupid idiots. I hate you so much stupid guys stupid stupid stupid.

How ironic. Tonight 1 guy asked me out to lunch and study tomorrow, 1 guy smsed me when he saw my last post (I think, from his words, I haven't checked my phone yet) and when I came online I talked to that guy on ICQ then 2 guys messaged me on MSN.

Daniel: "why that word hate?"
Me: "'cos it's strong, irrational and depressive."

Note: irrational. No reason. The truth is I'm pissed with a lot of guys, not all, ok?

I posted the last entry 'cos I was just plain SICK of having my ideas dissed.

Don't know feeling immensely depressed and pissed. And sian. Don't know don't know I don't know I just want to go curl up in a hole and cry and cry and cry and just kill myself.

Hurt my genitals the day before. But yesterday I didn't. Been hurting my thumbs though, hurting them worse than I've hurt them in months. Right thumb hurt under water yesterday. Then today I pulled the skin off a part of my left thumb and drew blood, then I squeezed the blood out so it would well up and flow along the side of the nail etc. etc.

Been stoning in front of the compy. Slept at 10 last night woke up at 7 this morning but was so immensely tired today in school and just so sian so SICK of everything. I just wanted to slap someone. Could feel my hand on his face. Give a GOOD HARD SLAP. Doesn't even have to be him. Can just find an idiot guy and abuse him. Need to take out my anger on something someone.

Which I have been doing unfortunately. Been very pissed at home. As in not throwing temper or sth still trying to be cordial but I look obviously tired and sian...

Today I went to the dentist. Apparently my top right back tooth is THIRTY degrees off. So my dentist has been concentrating on correcting my back tooth and now he's quickening the correction by making me not bite on my back tooth. So he forced a few metal rings into my second last top teeth and it was so painful I teared right then and there...wanted the agony to be over...it was really painful but I tried to laugh it off. The dentist tried to be nice and I tried to be brave but his knuckles were pushing on my gum and he was forcing the sides of the rings through the little gaps in my teeth and pressing HARD on my teeth. It was horrid...and my mouth was open and the saliva suction tube was making my mouth very dry. I wiped my eyes and tried to laugh at the end of the whole thing but at the end of it I still felt like crying and I tried to control everything but the tears just came and outside I started crying...just broke down and cried but I still tried to be brave 'cos my name was called so I went up to the counter and tried to ignore the tears and just settle what I needed to settle but how could I stop the tears when I was crying so badly? Just hated myself right then 'cos I couldn't control myself and the nurse was worried, asked me if I was ok, asked me if I wanted plain water, offered me tissue, even offered to ask the doctor to come and comfort me. But I kept nodding that I was ok, choking through my tears to speak 'hurting' was all...and she pitied me enough to settle my appointment for me so I wouldn't have to go to another counter to do it, then before I left she told me to take care. Went to the toilet, washed face then went downstairs to make more payment.

Now the braces are cutting into my cheeks and the back tooth is going to hurt. Today I accidentally bit it slightly and ouch...it brought tears, reminded me of the first time I wore braces. Teeth hurt periodically now...it doesn't matter, I like the pain. It dulls the emotional pain, I guess?

Changed my MSN nick to "Crying...I want to kill myself" 'cos I really was crying just. Then quite a few people messaged me, and Vic and Sean on ICQ too. Kinda shocked and appreciated it. Another reason why I was upset was 'cos not enough people were initiating chats with me and I was just pissed given my already pissed mood. Fine, so I'm trivial.

Poor guys whom I talked to tonight. I think I was too pissed to talk properly.

Forget it. Forget it. Just v tired and pissed and what not. The night before was kind of weird. First I hurt my genitals. Then I lay in bed and drifted in and out of sleep. Just lay there for about 6 hours. Thank God I could still do my Stats test (Maths lecture test). Last night I slept for 9 hours. Didn't injure. But was very tired today.

Ah. Will do Maths tomorrow. Again. The whole weekend actually. 'cos Maths mock Prelims is Monday and I'm going to get an A.

Autumn leaves blew along life's breeze 11:32 p.m.

Thursday, August 21, 2003

I don't want to talk to anyone anymore.

Autumn leaves blew along life's breeze 09:45 p.m.

Tuesday, August 19, 2003

Sunday School Open Sunday Plan:

Pre-Sunday School -come early to arrange chairs

Welcome
Opening prayer (invite Veronica to pray)
Song 1
Song 2 (end by 9.50a.m.)
Message (invite Rev. Colin Wong to speak on topic)
Thank speaker (need card?)
Offering
Closing prayer (invite Dn. Lim to pray)

Need:
1 chairperson
1 song leader
1 guitarist (optional)

Veronica just called and asked me to help coordinate. I like coordinating. Smsed Liz (guitarist), Jac and Rachel Yeo (chairperson/song leader). I've not been to an Open Sunday for a very long time 'cos I usually skip Open Sundays (message style, where the whole department is involved) and only go for the regular Sunday School classes. The job isn't tough really; I don't even have to choose the songs 'cos the song leader will do it. I don't mind being a chairperson/song leader actually but I thought I should ask people first (two at a time so I don't get overwhelming response) and chip in if there's a shortage.

(When I was in the Teens Department (now I'm in Senior Department), the Sec. 3s had to organise a workshop every year. I remember that day, helping out in the question and answer session and filtering questions to the panel of speakers. The thing was, one of the speakers was my mom, and I couldn't say 'Mom, would you like to start the ball rolling', could I, so I had to address her as "Mrs." and the audience was mildly bewildered and amused. Quite trivial an incident, really, but it just popped up into my head after so many years.)

Spectacles screw came out during break today and I had to spent the rest of the day with lopsided glasses held together by visible scotch tape. Thank God for Aishu who didn't mind crawling on the inner plaza ground with me looking for the screw, and to two other kind people who suggested the use of scotch tape in the first place and offered theirs. Went to Jurong East after school to fix specs and ask about contacts. Really impressed at the friendly service and patient personalised help the optician's staff rendered in mending my broken spectacles and correcting its imbalance (it was already lopsided before it broke) as well as answering my questions about getting contact lenses. Really thankful to Mei and Wenjie as well for answering my questions about contact lenses. Wanted to get contacts but decided to postpone it to after As 'cos contact lenses should only be worn at most 10 hours a day and I'll probably be wearing it way longer given my early arrival in school and (hopefully soon) late dismissal (as a result of potential studying in the library). After the visit to the optician's (which willingly provided free service), I had an LJS lunch at Jurong Entertainment Centre, read my GP model application question sheet, a little of Public Finance (which is a very interesting topic) and finished Stats 9. Wasn't working at high efficiency 'cos was v distracted by the noise. Think I will study in the school library next time.

God has been really good. He's been guarding my heart. I've been fearful ('cos of the unknown/supernatural), stressed and tense ('cos of other private matters) as well as still hurt (the usual duck problems) but he's been comforting and encouraging and blessing me with friends each day too. I'm amazed at the nice nature of my friends, especially considering that I'm really not a very nice person, or rather, a pretty non-understandable withdrawn person.

Today in Prac Crit I shared with the class that actually the most open people can be least controlled. Many think it is the other way round, that if you open up more you give people more opportunities to use this information against you. The thing is, if I make my information so free to all, then whatever information you can use against me isn't v valuable and won't hurt me. Plus I think my long blogs show that a lot of things run through my head (v hard for people to decipher or understand or even get updated about me); whether these thoughts are worth thinking about is a different thing entirely.

I realise a very very sad fact. I have a dental appointment this Friday. Which means skipping school for a while (missing Maths and Lit). I don't like missing Lit tutorials especially 'cos they are v v v important. What makes it sad is I just missed school last Friday.

Autumn leaves blew along life's breeze 09:09 p.m.

Monday, August 18, 2003

I really didn't want to get up today but I did.

I was pushing myself today. Somewhat. A little. Maybe. Judging from MY personal standards.

Maths tutorial
I sat right in the centre of the class, right in front. Today was one of the rare occasions when I was actually prepared. Apparently Statistics 8 had already been done in class but it was good that I did it anyway and needed no extra help in that. Today we did Stats 9 until question 7. Being prepared helped because I benefitted a lot from the lesson. I'd stopped at question 8 or 9 yesterday, so I continued my work and corrected the mistakes I'd made in the discussed questions. My table was spread with work and I rapidly flipped from page to page, making quick amendments. I'm still plodding through the tutorial even though I'm rushing through my work and scribbling hypothesis testing conclusions like nobody's business.

Maths lecture
We discussed the Stats worksheet which I'd done. Because I was prepared, I did my Stats tutorial 9, only paying attention to parts of my script which I'd put question marks against i.e. couldn't get the answer/didn't know how to do.

Break
I'm not going to take breaks from now on. For one thing, I don't spend common breaks with DW anymore on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. For another, the 40 min break is quite a good opportunity for work, even if I don't accomplish a remarkable amount of work because I end up talking to my classmates and only doing a little bit of work. Also, taking food in the middle of the day breaks my momentum. I eat breakfast in the morning now. I did Stats tutorial 9 (for an idea of why I admire my friends who have been finishing entire tutorials for the past two years, well I spent Saturday, Sunday and today doing Stats 8 and 9 and Stats worksheet and I'm STILL on Stats 9).

Econs tutorial
Realised that doing the MCQs isn't enough 'cos there's Econs in 4 out of 5 school days and 6 periods of Econs tutorials alone. JT's starting on Public Finance tomorrow, which means DRQ and MCQs of the NEXT tutorial, not to mention the work that must be done to read and understand Public Finance before attempting the tutorial. As usual, I haven't done it.

Econs lecture
Case study. Gleaning from the earlier Maths experience, I would really have appreciated it if they didn't waste so much time in giving a surprise 45 min case study to do under relaxed supervision for discussion in the next 45 min but rather gave us the case study as homework for lecture discussion. Many people didn't take the case study seriously and were talking or doing other things. I did try my best (and the lecturer was staring down at my paper for a while) but I wasn't working at full efficiency and I think I only finished just about half the paper. The discussion wasn't helpful 'cos he gave us the answers anyway (and 'cos I was distracted). I think if the school could they should let us off unnecessary lectures and give us revision papers or sth. I realise I can work quite well on my own in an outside environment e.g. school.

Reading Period
Was told to collect $3 in Econs fund during the lecture earlier (I'm my class's Econs subject representative btw.) so I did the collection towards the end of Econs lecture and during the Reading period. Sorted out other administrative matters like giving out worksheets. It may sound trivial, settling worksheets and council photo orders, even doing tutorials; it isn't to me, it's an achievement of sorts that I remember I have completed. I don't quite know how to explain this. Tried to rush the reading of Time magazine too, yet absorbing all the words and achieving my desired level of perfection. Sigh. I didn't read that particular article on purpose, but I read this story:

1. A father in the Philippines goes for a young and beautiful mistress.
2. His angry wife packs her bags suddenly, uproots their three children and leaves the land she loves for America. Their family, friends and memories are abruptly left behind.
3. A while later, her two sons return to the Philippines, to their father. Their mother takes it as an act of betrayal and doesn't forgive them.
4. The daughter (writer of the story) stays with her mother out of loyalty, yet disturbed by her own weakness to go. She naturally leaves her mother at age 25 and goes on to enjoy a good family of her own and a wonderful writing career.
5. The mother left the Philippines even though she loved it, waiting for her husband to repent. But he never did. Once an artist, she gave up her art and became bitter and withdrawn. Although the writer visited her from New York, these visits became more difficult because she (the mother) had become bitter. She died.
6. The writer went back to the Philippines to make peace with her father. She still visits the Philippines once or twice in two months.

I find the story of the mother v v sad. Why did her husband leave her for a young beautiful woman and why didn't he bother about her when she left? Was he lucky his sons returned to his side or was he indifferent? He wrote letters to the writer, his daughter. Why did he?

I am sure I don't need to spell out who I was thinking of when I read the article.

Geography Lecture
My human geography teacher sprained her ankle on Friday (so the day ended at 2.15p.m. on Friday and I didn't go to school!!!) and she's still not well so we had Physical Geog lecture instead. We did photograph interpretation which really wasn't bad though I prefer theories to practical Geog. I love theories. In the middle of the Geog lecture a teacher came in and informed my class that we hadn't taken our Hepatitis B injection which was scheduled earlier. There were only two of us in the Geog lecture who were supposed to take our injections - Eileen and I. Went off to the Reading Room.

Hep B Injection - Final dose (out of 3)
I freak over injections. During the test a few months back I was crying even before the guy injected me. Today I got the jitters again; I don't know how to articulate how scared I was then. Anyway I walked into the room. There was a person about to get his injection. Was it the skin? Was it the hair? Was it the general look? I don't know. He was blocked by the nurse. But for some reason, I knew it was him and even in my freaked out state I naturally stretched to look and it WAS him. The meeting of eyes was a little awkward - he bended his head rather gentlemanly like he did the last time we broke up and I smiled a little though the smile was breaking. Then I turned and walked on. Apparently a lot of his class girls were there taking their jabs too. I found myself face to face with Yanlian. Was a little taken aback; somehow his class was so...unfriendly, to me at least. Like I was an enemy.

Muddled around 'cos I was so shaken. Eileen knew; think she was v shocked that I was standing in the middle of nowhere at the back of the Reading Room staring at nothing. She had to settle everything for me. I was frozen, and I was thinking of him. Registered, made some calls on my phone (helped the nurse settle some matters). It felt good to be in charge, calling someone, at least having something to do. Given all-clear, went to the front where his class was gathered on one side (he was sitting at the back) and I was sitting with another group of people who for some reason were there even though they weren't going to take the injection. Eileen wanted to get back to lecture so she kinda prodded me along; which was good and I'm really grateful for that 'cos I was too stoned to do anything. I went to the injection chair like a zombie.

FEAR. I was very afraid. I lifted up my sleeve, trembly told the nurse I was afraid and then like the last time, jerked my body the other way so I would kinda let my injected arm go and avoid looking at the needle at all costs. The nurse was encouraging thank God, and she told me to sit straight which I did. And I started mildly hyperventilating (like when you're about to cry) and I was about to cry as I turned the other way and screwed up my face and started crying -the kind where you just make the sound without the tears-.

Of course I killed myself after that 'cos I could only imagine the possibilities:
a) I looked like a snivelling weakling in front of him and all his classmates. And an ugly one at that. The kind of girl no guy would want - which guy for his pride would want a girl who cries BEFORE an injection which doesn't even hurt? I am SO attention-seeking, aren't I? Can't even quietly take an injection like a 17 year old girl should.
b) [The worse possibility] He probably didn't even CARE. He probably wasn't even looking at me, laughing with his class girls about whatever.
Just for interest's sake, do you think it's better if your guy laughs with his class girls AT you for being a silly swine (alliteration!) OR if he doesn't even notice you?
c) I wish I'd cried more. Gone all red in the face and started crying for real. At least I'd hate myself more. At least there would be more justification - so your guy left you 'cos you're UGLY, now you know that you're also a WEAK and COWARDLY scaredy cat.

So there I was, face screwed up, waiting for the prick of the needle and the pain. I remembered the pain from the second injection.

And then - it was over! I didn't even FEEL the needle. How anticlimatic.

But I had been traumatised and I muddled again (sitting, standing, just feeling v v awkward) and Eileen guided me back to Geog lecture. I hadn't recovered by then, but I smiled confidently (oh Esther is SUCH a great actress!) and went back to my seat. Wenjie was nice; she told me not to copy the stuff (my hand had lost quite a bit of control and couldn't write though I could have forced it to) and she lent me her notes after to photocopy. =)

Struggling with a few spiritual problems and not succeeding much. Actually the issue of homosexuality is not a religious contention. It can't be natural because a) [the stronger point] if couples were meant to be of the same sex and hence unable to reproduce themselves, there would be an extinction of the species. Humans naturally have basic survival instincts, so homosexuality cannot be natural b) [the slightly weaker point] there has been no scientific evidence supporting the idea that some people can't help being homosexual. Of course, there is also the moral value of the family unit and the Christian idea of the husband and wife coming together to be one flesh.

I mentioned in my previous blog that I learnt a bit from Sunday School yesterday. One of the lessons was this: as a Christian and someone who cares I should let people know my beliefs. They should feel uncomfortable when they sin around me and my presence should not be unimportant to them when they sin. This may offend some, but let me take the simple example of eating outside the canteen. That is breaking the school rules, so that is sin. I don't eat outside the canteen and my friends know that. They used to get angry with me because I seemed rigid and self-righteous perhaps but now they just accept it. But they still eat around me. While I can't control their actions, I should at least make them feel uncomfortable. It is difficult but it is a Christian's role as light and salt of the world.

It's difficult because I care a lot about people's feelings and I don't want to hurt them (although if I care a lot about my friends I should let them know that what they are doing is wrong). I know a few homosexuals (friends or otherwise). I may be a Christian but I find some Christians really v rigid and irritating - they don't seem to understand problems, it's just GodGodturntoGod all the time and sometimes you just don't want to listen and then they either get frustrated with you or say the wrong things. Guess I don't want people to judge me and I dislike it when they judge others too 'cos you can't judge my personal relationship with God by looking at whether I do my Quiet Time or attend fellowships etc. My Geography teacher in NY called herself a 'pew-warmer' but I could feel God work in her life. One thing I learnt from Sunday School was a reason for not depreciating the value of anyone: Adam was made in the image of God and breathed with the breath of God and God discussed and put in effort in his creation and saw that it was good, gave Adam dominion over the animals, BROUGHT animals TO Adam for him to name. The earth was made for man's enjoyment. The sinner is not of less worth because of his sin; unlike us, God looks at a person based on his potential and not what he seems to be. He hates sin, not the sinner. I shared with my Sunday School class about Xianwei. Frankly I can see him doing pretty well if he changes his bad habits.

Another thing I learn: God doesn't judge based on what we judge. We look at people with say, 4 As and 3 S papers and go 'wow' but everything really is God-given - the achievements don't make the person any better or more pleasing to God. At the end of my Sunday School class my teacher told me that God has given me many gifts and I should use them. Actually, with God's gifts comes a lot of responsibility (Adam had to work in the garden too; paradise is not idleness because man has an innate need to feel worthy and not redundant). Thinking about people with family problems...guess it's the worst feeling to feel like a mistake, but God never changes though humans change, and we were never a mistake. I thank God for that.

Wenwen's a bit enthusiastic about a lesbian relationship between her and me. I know she's not homosexual and that it's only a joke but I'm still uncomfortable and well, I joke it off but I don't like joking either 'cos I know it's wrong. Plus I guess...I'm still attached and well, I subscribe myself to very strict rules when I'm attached.

Which makes this time out so hard also 'cos I don't even get angry at him. I hate myself in a vicious cycle (hate myself then hate myself for hating myself or something like that) and I don't want to tarnish his reputation. My convictions state that I am to support and not to retaliate at all.

On his side: Still no reply. The rose is dead, the petals are black and his tin is still standing there, the cd cover in my drawer. He said we'll meet this week but he hasn't initiated anything. For the third time. Been keeping out of his way, but Mei sent me a forwarded sms (some hug and good night) today [thanks Mei! =)] and I decided to send it to him. No response.

Slid back into mild depression today though I'm still trying to climb back up. The hurt still remains. I can't imagine a guy can be so cruel. [But then again Esther, you yourself are cruel.]

Oh btw after the injection (during which I displayed such an unglamorous performance), Wenjie said, 'Poor princess' and I went, 'No. I am strong.' Somehow, I didn't want to be pathetic and desperate. My pride is still as strong as ever. [One very interesting thing to take note however is that just about everything I do now is based on this tumultuous relationship and its problems.]

Geog remedial
Afternoon p.e.'s cancelled from now on so Geog remedial is pushed up. We did quite a good bit of work today; discussed 3 essay questions. Think Hydrology's a nice topic to study out of the rest of Physical Geog. I was alone with Mrs. Chua and Daren for a while 'cos my classmates hadn't come to class yet. Somehow Mrs. Chua asked, "You were sick on Friday is it?" and I just blurted out, "Depressed" to her shock and concern. She asked me how long I've been staying out of school. I told her just Friday. She was surprised my depression lasted one day. [It doesn't.] I told her I skip school periodically. Told her about the 4DRQs (we have more homework so I have 6 DRQs to do now). Wasn't intending this to be related to depression; I didn't want it to seem like I was making excuses. But she said she didn't want to stress me out anyway and said just hand in when I can or something like that. Talked to her about doing Geog at university. I'm interested in Social and Cultural Geography and Urban Planning for one [warped?] reason - I love the people and I want to care (I didn't tell her this part).

Hope Ms. Heng will not ask why I was absent on Friday tomorrow. I don't want to lie and I don't want to say I was in depression/sick of school/didn't want to come to school/needed a break.

My hair was quite a talked about matter. I was SO glad people didn't say I made a mistake 'cos I didn't want them to say that (because I had a lot of reasons for cutting my hair and I thought it through v carefully so DON'T JUDGE). Some people asked why. I just said I wanted a change. I don't think they wanted an essay of reasons. I think everyone who commented liked the new hairstyle, said I looked better. And of course, the two words that are ALWAYS associated with me were mentioned many many many times today. I was 'sweet' and 'cute'. I am not as bitter as I sound now, I don't mean to sound bitter actually. I really appreciated people telling me that I looked good 'cos a) I care about my looks [which is why I hate it when my mom talks about my skin - it's not like I don't try], b) I think I'm ugly [especially after this relationship] and c) I would never say the same to others simply 'cos I'm not that enthusiastic. It was cool today having so many people say hi to me, calling out to me along the way. I don't call people much; even if I saw Aishu (one of my best friends) in the canteen or something the probability of me calling out to her could be less than 0.5.

As usual spent a good deal of time blogging (like 2h) but it's worth it. I want to get things out. Came home straight after remedial and got down to doing GP homework (read the National Day Rally Speech) so spent 2h reading the 6 pages of National Day Rally articles in the Straits Times. They were really helpful though I really had to force myself to read them (discipline). Will most prob wake up a little earlier tomorrow to do Econs.

I'm trying to focus on the songs I'm listening to. Current cd has been Michael Card's Starkindler for a while and it still is, though I might change it 'cos I suddenly had a craving for The Ancient Faith's The Prophet (by Michael Card). Why I say focus is 'cos normally on the bus when the music is playing my thoughts wander a lot and I can get very depressive. The music sings of God and when I focus on the music I focus on God instead of on my disturbances and emotions.

I'm scared of the unknown and it scares me quite a bit. Please please don't scare me with the supernatural/ghosts. It helps that I know God and I know that he'll protect me; I pray, but the fear remains.

Teardrp A said 2 B:I'm e teardrp of a guy hu loved a gal n lost her u? B said:I'm e teardrp of e gal hu regrets letting tt guy go. ~Hannah's current MSN nick

God is good. Good night and God bless.

Autumn leaves blew along life's breeze 08:54 p.m.

Monday, August 18, 2003

I really didn't want to get up today but I did.

I was pushing myself today. Somewhat. A little. Maybe. Judging from MY personal standards.

Maths tutorial
I sat right in the centre of the class, right in front. Today was one of the rare occasions when I was actually prepared. Apparently Statistics 8 had already been done in class but it was good that I did it anyway and needed no extra help in that. Today we did Stats 9 until question 7. Being prepared helped because I benefitted a lot from the lesson. I'd stopped at question 8 or 9 yesterday, so I continued my work and corrected the mistakes I'd made in the discussed questions. My table was spread with work ans I rapidly flipped from page to page, making quick amendments. I'm still plodding through the tutorial even though I'm rushing through my work and scribbling hypothesis testing conclusions like nobody's business.

Maths lecture
We discussed the Stats worksheet which I'd done. Because I was prepared, I did my Stats tutorial 9, only paying attention to parts of my script which I'd put question marks against i.e. couldn't get the answer/didn't know how to do.

Break
I'm not going to take breaks from now on. For one thing, I don't spend common breaks with DW anymore on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. For another, the 40 min break is quite a good opportunity for work, even if I don't accomplish a remarkable amount of work because I end up talking to my classmates and only doing a little bit of work. Also, taking food in the middle of the day breaks my momentum. I eat breakfast in the morning now. I did Stats tutorial 9 (for an idea of why I admire my friends who have been finishing entire tutorials for the past two years, well I spent Saturday, Sunday and today doing Stats 8 and 9 and Stats worksheet and I'm STILL on Stats 9).

Econs tutorial
Realised that doing the MCQs isn't enough 'cos there's Econs in 4 out of 5 school days and 6 periods of Econs tutorials alone. JT's starting on Public Finance tomorrow, which means DRQ and MCQs of the NEXT tutorial, not to mention the work that must be done to read and understand Public Finance before attempting the tutorial. As usual, I haven't done it.

Econs lecture
Case study. Gleaning from the earlier Maths experience, I would really have appreciated it if they didn't waste so much time in giving a surprise 45 min case study to do under relaxed supervision for discussion in the next 45 min but rather gave us the case study as homework for lecture discussion. Many people didn't take the case study seriously and were talking or doing other things. I did try my best (and the lecturer was staring down at my paper for a while) but I wasn't working at full efficiency and I think I only finished just about half the paper. The discussion wasn't helpful 'cos he gave us the answers anyway (and 'cos I was distracted). I think if the school could they should let us off unnecessary lectures and give us revision papers or sth. I realise I can work quite well on my own in an outside environment e.g. school.

Reading Period
Was told to collect $3 in Econs fund during the lecture earlier (I'm my class's Econs subject representative btw.) so I did the collection towards the end of Econs lecture and during the Reading period. Sorted out other administrative matters like giving out worksheets. It may sound trivial, settling worksheets and council photo orders, even doing tutorials; it isn't to me, it's an achievement of sorts that I remember I have completed. I don't quite know how to explain this. Tried to rush the reading of Time magazine too, yet absorbing all the words and achieving my desired level of perfection. Sigh. I didn't read that particular article on purpose, but I read this story:

1. A father in the Philippines goes for a young and beautiful mistress.
2. His angry wife packs her bags suddenly, uproots their three children and leaves the land she loves for America. Their family, friends and memories are abruptly left behind.
3. A while later, her two sons return to the Philippines, to their father. Their mother takes it as an act of betrayal and doesn't forgive them.
4. The daughter (writer of the story) stays with her mother out of loyalty, yet disturbed by her own weakness to go. She naturally leaves her mother at age 25 and goes on to enjoy a good family of her own and a wonderful writing career.
5. The mother left the Philippines even though she loved it, waiting for her husband to repent. But he never did. Once an artist, she gave up her art and became bitter and withdrawn. Although the writer visited her from New York, these visits became more difficult because she (the mother) had become bitter. She died.
6. The writer went back to the Philippines to make peace with her father. She still visits the Philippines once or twice in two months.

I find the story of the mother v v sad. Why did her husband leave her for a young beautiful woman and why didn't he bother about her when she left? Was he lucky his sons returned to his side or was he indifferent? He wrote letters to the writer, his daughter. Why did he?

I am sure I don't need to spell out who I was thinking of when I read the article.

Geography Lecture
My human geography teacher sprained her ankle on Friday (so the day ended at 2.15p.m. on Friday and I didn't go to school!!!) and she's still not well so we had Physical Geog lecture instead. We did photograph interpretation which really wasn't bad though I prefer theories to practical Geog. I love theories. In the middle of the Geog lecture a teacher came in and informed my class that we hadn't taken our Hepatitis B injection which was scheduled earlier. There were only two of us in the Geog lecture who were supposed to take our injections - Eileen and I. Went off to the Reading Room.

Hep B Injection - Final dose (out of 3)
I freak over injections. During the test a few months back I was crying even before the guy injected me. Today I got the jitters again; I don't know how to articulate how scared I was then. Anyway I walked into the room. There was a person about to get his injection. Was it the skin? Was it the hair? Was it the general look? I don't know. He was blocked by the nurse. But for some reason, I knew it was him and even in my freaked out state I naturally stretched to look and it WAS him. The meeting of eyes was a little awkward - he bended his head rather gentlemanly like he did the last time we broke up and I smiled a little though the smile was breaking. Then I turned and walked on. Apparently a lot of his class girls were there taking their jabs too. I found myself face to face with Yanlian. Was a little taken aback; somehow his class was so...unfriendly, to me at least. Like I was an enemy.

Muddled around 'cos I was so shaken. Eileen knew; think she was v shocked that I was standing in the middle of nowhere at the back of the Reading Room staring at nothing. She had to settle everything for me. I was frozen, and I was thinking of him. Registered, made some calls on my phone (helped the nurse settle some matters). It felt good to be in charge, calling someone, at least having something to do. Given all-clear, went to the front where his class was gathered on one side (he was sitting at the back) and I was sitting with another group of people who for some reason were there even though they weren't going to take the injection. Eileen wanted to get back to lecture so she kinda prodded me along; which was good and I'm really grateful for that 'cos I was too stoned to do anything. I went to the injection chair like a zombie.

FEAR. I was very afraid. I lifted up my sleeve, trembly told the nurse I was afraid and then like the last time, jerked my body the other way so I would kinda let my injected arm go and avoid looking at the needle at all costs. The nurse was encouraging thank God, and she told me to sit straight which I did. And I started mildly hyperventilating (like when you're about to cry) and I was about to cry as I turned the other way and screwed up my face and started crying -the kind where you just make the sound without the tears-.

Of course I killed myself after that 'cos I could only imagine the possibilities:
a) I looked like a snivelling weakling in front of him and all his classmates. And an ugly one at that. The kind of girl no guy would want - which guy for his pride would want a girl who cries BEFORE an injection which doesn't even hurt? I am SO attention-seeking, aren't I? Can't even quietly take an injection like a 17 year old girl should.
b) [The worse possibility] He probably didn't even CARE. He probably wasn't even looking at me, laughing with his class girls about whatever.
Just for interest's sakes = Do you think it's better if your guy laughs with his class girls AT you for being a silly swine (alliteration!) OR if he doesn't even notice you?
c) I wish I'd cried more. Gone all red in the face and started crying for real. At least I'd hate myself more. At least there would be more justification - so your guy left you 'cos you're UGLY, now you know that you're also a WEAK and COWARDLY scaredy cat.

So there I was, face screwed up, waiting for the prick of the needle and the pain. I remembered the pain from the second injection.

And then - it was over! I didn't even FEEL the needle. How anticlimatic.

But I had been traumatised and I muddled again (sitting, standing, just feeling v v awkward) and Eileen guided me back to Geog lecture. I hadn't recovered by then, but I smiled confidently (oh Esther is SUCH a great actress!) and went back to my seat. Wenjie was nice; she told me not to copy the stuff (my hand had lost quite a bit of control and couldn't write though I could have forced it to) and she lent me her notes after to photocopy. =)

Struggling with a few spiritual problems and not succeeding much. Actually the issue of homosexuality is not a religious contention. It can't be natural because a) [the stronger point] if couples were meant to be of the same sex and hence unable to reproduce themselves, there would be an extinction of the species. Humans naturally have basic survival instincts, so homosexuality cannot be natural b) [the slightly weaker point] there has been no scientific evidence supporting the idea that some people can't help being homosexual. Of course, there is also the moral value of the family unit and the Christian idea of the husband and wife coming together to be one flesh.

I mentioned in my previous blog that I learnt a bit from Sunday School yesterday. One of the lessons was this: as a Christian and someone who cares I should let people know my beliefs. They should feel uncomfortable when they sin around me and my presence should not be unimportant to them when they sin. This may offend some, but let me take the simple example of eating outside the canteen. That is breaking the school rules, so that is sin. I don't eat outside the canteen and my friends know that. They used to get angry with me because I seemed rigid and self-righteous perhaps but now they just accept it. But they still eat around me. While I can't control their actions, I should at least make them feel uncomfortable. It is difficult but it is a Christian's role as light and salt of the world.

It's difficult because I care a lot about people's feelings and I don't want to hurt them (although if I care a lot about my friends I should let them know that what they are doing is wrong). I know a few homosexuals (friends or otherwise). 'cos I may be a Christian but I find some Christians really v rigid and irritating - they don't seem to understand problems, it's just GodGodturntoGod all the time and sometimes you just don't want to listen and then they either get frustrated with you or you say the wrong things. Guess I don't want people to judge me and I dislike it when they judge others too 'cos you can't judge my personal relationship with God by looking at whether I do my Quiet Time or attend fellowships etc. My Geography teacher in NY called herself a 'pew-warmer' but I could feel God work in her life. One thing I learnt from Sunday School was a reason for not depreciating the value of anyone: Adam was made in the image of God and breathed with the breath of God and God discussed and put in effort in his creation and saw that it was good, gave Adam dominion over the animals, BROUGHT animals TO Adam for him to name. The earth was made for man's enjoyment. The sinner is not of less worth because of his sin; unlike us, God looks at a person based on his potential and not what he seems to be. He hates sin, not the sinner. I shared with my Sunday School class about Xianwei. Frankly I can see him doing pretty well if he changes his bad habits.

Another thing I learn: God doesn't judge based on what we judge. We look at people with say, 4 As and 3 S papers and go 'wow' but everything really is God-given - the achievements don't make the person any better or more pleasing to God. At the end of my Sunday School class my teacher told me that God has given me many gifts and I should use them. Actually, with God's gifts comes a lot of responsibility (Adam had to work in the garden too; paradise is not idleness because man has an innate need to feel worthy and not redundant). Thinking about people with family problems...guess it's the worst feeling to feel like a mistake, but God never changes though humans change, and we were never a mistake. I thank God for that.

Wenwen's a bit enthusiastic about a lesbian relationship between her and me. I know she's not homosexual and that it's only a joke but I'm still uncomfortable and well, I joke it off but I don't like joking either 'cos I know it's wrong. Plus I guess...I'm still attached and well, I subscribe myself to very strict rules when I'm attached.

Which makes this time out so hard also 'cos I don't even get angry at him. I hate myself in a vicious cycle (hate myself then hate myself for hating myself or something like that) and I don't want to tarnish his reputation. My convictions state that I am to support and not to retaliate at all.

On his side: Still no reply. The rose is dead, the petals are black and his tin is still standing there, the cd cover in my drawer. He said we'll meet this week but he hasn't initiated anything. For the third time. Been keeping out of his way, but Mei sent me a forwarded sms (some hug and good night) today [thanks Mei! =)] and I decided to send it to him. No response.

Slid back into mild depression today though I'm still trying to climb back up. The hurt still remains. I can't imagine a guy can be so cruel. [But then again Esther, you yourself are cruel.]

Oh btw after the injection (during which I displayed such an unglamorous performance), Wenjie said, 'Poor princess' and I went, 'No. I am strong.' Somehow, I didn't want to be pathetic and desperate. My pride is still as strong as ever. [One very interesting thing to take note however is that just about everything I do now is based on this tumultuous relationship and its problems.]

Geog remedial
Afternoon p.e.'s cancelled from now on so Geog remedial is pushed up. We did quite a good bit of work today; discussed 3 essay questions. Think Hydrology's a nice topic to study out of the rest of Physical Geog. I was alone with Mrs. Chua and Daren for a while 'cos my classmates hadn't come to class yet. Somehow Mrs. Chua asked, "You were sick on Friday is it?" and I just blurted out, "Depressed" to her shock and concern. She asked me how long I've been staying out of school. I told her just Friday. She was surprised my depression lasted one day. [It doesn't.] I told her I skip school periodically. Told her about the 4DRQs (we have more homework so I have 6 DRQs to do now). Wasn't intending this to be related to depression; I didn't want it to seem like I was making excuses. But she said she didn't want to stress me out anyway and said just hand in when I can or something like that. Talked to her about doing Geog at university. I'm interested in Social and Cultural Geography and Urban Planning for one [warped?] reason - I love the people and I want to care (I didn't tell her this part).

Hope Ms. Heng will not ask why I was absent on Friday tomorrow. I don't want to lie and I don't want to say I was in depression/sick of school/didn't want to come to school/needed a break.

My hair was quite a talked about matter. I was SO glad people didn't say I made a mistake 'cos I didn't want them to say that (because I had a lot of reasons for cutting my hair and I thought it through v carefully so DON'T JUDGE). Some people asked why. I just said I wanted a change. I don't think they wanted an essay of reasons. I think everyone who commented liked the new hairstyle, said I looked better. And of course, the two words that are ALWAYS associated with me were mentioned many many many times today. I was 'sweet' and 'cute'. I am not as bitter as I sound now, I don't mean to sound bitter actually. I really appreciated people telling me that I looked good 'cos a) I care about my looks [which is why I hate it when my mom talks about my skin - it's not like I don't try], b) I think I'm ugly [especially after this relationship] and c) I would never say the same to others simply 'cos I'm not that enthusiastic. It was cool today having so many people say hi to me, calling out to me along the way. I don't call people much; even if I saw Aishu (one of my best friends) in the canteen or something probability of calling out to her could be less than 0.5.

As usual spent a good deal of time blogging (like 2h) but it's worth it. I want to get things out. Came home straight after remedial and got down to doing GP homework (read the National Day Rally Speech) so spent 2h reading the 6 pages of National Day Rally articles in the Straits Times. They were really helpful though I really had to force myself to read them (discipline). Will most prob wake up a little earlier tomorrow to do Econs.

I'm trying to focus on the songs I'm listening to. Current cd has been Michael Card's Starkindler for a while and it still is, though I might change it 'cos I suddenly had a craving for The Ancient Faith's The Prophet (by Michael Card). Why I say focus is 'cos normally on the bus when the music is playing my thoughts wander a lot and I can get very depressive. The music sings of God and when I focus on the music I focus on God instead of on my disturbances and emotions.

I'm scared of the unknown and it scares me quite a bit. Please please don't scare me with the supernatural/ghosts. It helps that I know God and I know that he'll protect me; I pray, but the fear remains.

Teardrp A said 2 B:I'm e teardrp of a guy hu loved a gal n lost her u? B said:I'm e teardrp of e gal hu regrets letting tt guy go. ~Hannah's current MSN nick

God is good. Good night and God bless.

Autumn leaves blew along life's breeze 08:54 p.m.

Sunday, August 17, 2003

A rollercoaster ride of emotions even on the upswing.

Raised my voice at dinner 'cos I talked about my GP tutor. Didn't get to finish what I was getting at (I tend to be v long-winded) but yep, anger unintended but evident.

Poor mom. Used her thumbnail to break the plastic wrapping the jelly cups, pressed too hard, plastic gave way, she found the blade of the plastic jelly spoons under her thumb nail...the layer under the nail was pushed back, cut, and her whole thumb was covered in blood. I'm scared of pain, it really hurts when I see others in pain. I remember the time DW described his toe injured during basketball, I didn't even see it and I was hurting for like 2 weeks after that...this time, the image of my mom's thumb getting hurt kept playing over and over in my head like some cruel graphic joke and I kept pressing my nail and skin, thinking of the pain. Ouch. I know she hurt today. I remember the time I pulled a teeny bit of that layer out, it hurts. Hers probably hurts even more. :(

I've cut my hair. It's a calculated decision thought for months, not something on impulse. Like many other things I do, this cutting has many many reasons. So, I would advise you not to ask about it.

I don't do work at home 'cos I'm on the compy all the time. Unless I'm plodding through A Passage To India a few pages at a time. I need to do work out. Today I went to Starbucks IMM. Finished Statistics Tutorial 8 (i.e. did the examination questions; see previous entry) and the Statistics worksheet (from where I left off). Did 4 Examination Questions from Statistics Tutorial 9. Less than three hours of work but at least some work is done. Admire my classmates for doing entire Maths tutorials 'cos I v rarely do. But I will be doing Maths (and homework hopefully esp. Geog) for the next few days 'cos I wanna get an A for the lecture test. Of course, I'm conveniently forgetting that I have the Prelims to study for. (No I don't forget, but my study plan is always dif from others.)

Got a bit sad today. Of course the hurt comes every now and then. I can ... condone ... but I cannot forgive DW for what he did to me. No matter how you drive it, he did do wrong, and he treated me very badly (not as a general rule, but this time). I don't forgive, not guys who have been in a relationship with me (I pronounce myself a guy hazard). Judging from previous relationships frankly, DW would already be on my enemy list now (I was cruel, I broke up with guys over one mistake they made). But unlike previous relationships this was one in which I really loved and really gave and was really loved in return so I guess it's different.

I can kan4 de2 kai1 (literal translation: see clearly) now. The hurt comes and goes. It helps to talk with others. Feel kinda jaded. I guess it's 'cos I've been into feminism, marriage and motherhood for my entire life, and 'cos I've been in and out of relationships, and 'cos this last/present/status undetermined relationship was so intense I've really forgotten what it's like to be single. And also 'cos I'm a v v open person, someone who doesn't dwell in crushes/infatuations (no the idea I want is deeper than that but I can't pinpoint it). If I like you I'll say so. And even if I don't love you, I don't mind trying 'cos to me love is about effort (that's what happened in my last/present/status undetermined relationship, didn't love from the start but pledged to love, eventually did fall in love). Guess my attitude is that you won't really know anything until you try and well relationships are not ideal: there isn't a right time for relationships, it's just about whether you (and the other party of course) are willing to work, and learn. A relationship is not a conclusion. It's a process.

This was and is my belief, refined over the years.

I don't know why I was hurting my thumbs today. Tried not to though, pulled the skin painfully at first then just decided to clip it off quickly. Tired. Didn't do work tonight again. Buck upbuckupbuckup.

Learnt a lot today from Sunday School which I'm applying. Or trying to apply.

God bless.

Autumn leaves blew along life's breeze 11:51 p.m.

Sunday, August 17, 2003

A rollercoaster ride of emotions even on the upswing.

Raised my voice at dinner 'cos I talked about my GP tutor. Didn't get to finish what I was getting at (I tend to be v long-winded) but yep, anger unintended but evident.

Poor mom. Used her thumbnail to break the plastic wrapping the jelly cups, pressed too hard, plastic gave way, she found the blade of the plastic jelly spoons under her thumb nail...the layer under the nail was pushed back, cut, and her whole thumb was covered in blood. I'm scared of pain, it really hurts when I see others in pain. I remember the time DW described his toe injured during basketball, I didn't even see it and I was hurting for like 2 weeks after that...this time, the image of my mom's thumb getting hurt kept playing over and over in my head like some cruel graphic joke and I kept pressing my nail and skin, thinking of the pain. Ouch. I know she hurt today. I remember the time I pulled a teeny bit of that layer out, it hurts. Hers probably hurts even more. :(

I've cut my hair. It's a calculated decision thought for months, not something on impulse. Like many other things I do, this cutting has many many reasons. So, I would advise you not to ask about it.

I don't do work at home 'cos I'm on the compy all the time. Unless I'm plodding through A Passage To India a few pages at a time. I need to do work out. Today I went to Starbucks IMM. Finished Statistics Tutorial 8 (i.e. did the examination questions; see previous entry) and the Statistics worksheet (from where I left off). Did 4 Examination Questions from Statistics Tutorial 9. Less than three hours of work but at least some work is done. Admire my classmates for doing entire Maths tutorials 'cos I v rarely do. But I will be doing Maths (and homework hopefully esp. Geog) for the next few days 'cos I wanna get an A for the lecture test. Of course, I'm conveniently forgetting that I have the Prelims to study for. (No I don't forget, but my study plan is always dif from others.)

Got a bit sad today. Of course the hurt comes every now and then. I can ... condone ... but I cannot forgive DW for what he did to me. No matter how you drive it, he did do wrong, and he treated me very badly (not as a general rule, but this time). I don't forgive, not guys who have been in a relationship with me (I pronounce myself a guy hazard). Judging from previous relationships frankly, DW would already be on my enemy list now (I was cruel, I broke up with guys over one mistake they made). But unlike previous relationships this was one in which I really loved and really gave and was really loved in return so I guess it's different.

I can kan4 de2 kai1 (literal translation: see clearly) now. The hurt comes and goes. It helps to talk with others. Feel kinda jaded. I guess it's 'cos I've been into feminism, marriage and motherhood for my entire life, and 'cos I've been in and out of relationships, and 'cos this last/present/status undetermined relationship was so intense I've really forgotten what it's like to be single. And also 'cos I'm a v v open person, someone who doesn't dwell in crushes/infatuations (no the idea I want is deeper than that but I can't pinpoint it). If I like you I'll say so. And even if I don't love you, I don't mind trying 'cos to me love is about effort (that's what happened in my last/present/status undetermined relationship, didn't love from the start but pledged to love, eventually did fall in love). Guess my attitude is that you won't really know anything until you try and well relationships are not ideal: there isn't a right time for relationships, it's just about whether you (and the other party of course) are willing to work, and learn. A relationship is not a conclusion. It's a process.

This was and is my belief, refined over the years.

I don't know why I was hurting my thumbs today. Tried not to though, pulled the skin painfully at first then just decided to clip it off quickly. Tired. Didn't do work tonight again. Buck upbuckupbuckup.

Learnt a lot today from Sunday School which I'm applying. Or trying to apply.

God bless.

Autumn leaves blew along life's breeze 11:51 p.m.

Saturday, August 16, 2003

After the bout of crying in the morning, I suddenly quite unexpectedly packed some studying into my funky red and gray bag, changed and went out.

I wore my favourite outfit: my white GioSport shirt with a glittery red star in front and my soft black pants with two red-orange wood beads hanging from two unevenly-long strings. I tied my hair neatly with a dark red scrunchie and decided to wear white socks and blue sports shoes. Funky.

It was good to take myself out. I needed the break from school yesterday, and the outing of solitude today. I went to the Esplanade. Lunch was Art Digest's hot Spaghetti Bolognese and the iced-blended cafe mocha I've pronounced best in Singapore. Having read a recent article that multi-tasking is bad for the brain, I downed my spaghetti concentratedly and quickly, then sipped my mocha with E.M. Forster's A Passage To India for company. I like that book, and I'm reading it at my own slow pace. I want to drink in the words and turn them over and over in my head.

I didn't mug. I enjoyed my studying. I finished up Statistics Tutorial 8 and 9 Basic Questions and Assignment (I didn't bring my ten-year-series so I didn't do the Examination Questions). Then I did some more Statistics questions from the worksheet. All these questions are homework, but knowing me I wouldn't usually have done it, so I'm really glad I will go to school on Monday a little more prepared. By God's grace, I may repeat last Sunday's feat and have another little Maths session at IMM's Starbucks tomorrow.

It gave me great joy to be able to figure out difficult questions. I don't like giving up, and I learnt a lot today. The Statistics test is on Thursday, and a mock-Prelim paper next Monday. I should buck up on my Maths but I think I'm finally getting somewhere.

The Esplanade library is really cold, so I did some studying outside. Walked around outside for a while too, sat by the water, let the wind blow my hair, admired the beautiful merlion spewing water and the waves and the canoeists rowing together and the beautiful architecture of what looked like the Parliament building (but then again my knowledge of Singapore's geography is quite lacking). Stared at the esplanade's spikes. Thought of Prisca, Nat, Aishu, Haihan ge, Colin kor, De Wen, Alanna, Raining and Ailin...felt so happy. I decided to share my happiness with Nat, De Wen and my mother. Sat there for a while just enjoying the beauty of the surroundings, thought of God.

Music touched me today. I listened to Michael Card's Starkindler cd twice through. It's my favourite cd, and it has my favourite song Be Thou My Vision in original and reprise. Appreciated De Wen for sharing Michael Card with me. During the MRT ride I thought of us funky people sitting on the floor at the end of the MRT station, sitting in the MRT on the floor...when the train reaches Dover the doors open the other way. Looked at the map of stations, Jurong where I live, Khatib where he lives, Toa Payoh where we watched the girls' and guys' basketball matches, Outram Park where I embarked on that crazy walk up and down Pearl's Hill and other places and asked many people for directions just to get to his church on Christmas morning after not sleeping an entire night, Jurong IMM, Changi, Bishan where his aunt lives, Orchard Takashimaya and library, Yoshinoya, the stone seats outside Taka where we sang to each other, City Hall Suntec City the great fountain of wealth my favourite place, our Country Manna dinner during the Arts Fac party, Marina Square jigsaw puzzles and Maths magic, Esplanade doing our lovely jigsaw puzzle and figuring out the Maths on the queens and the cards, Dhoby Ghaut Plaza Singapura movies, Boon Lay Jurong Point Swensens, Clementi and Dover after National Team training, Newton Circus Hawker Centre, school...crying on the train in front of you, the conversations...

Thought and thought. The heart was touched on the train. Thought of the friends I've made the past two years. Council. Class. Thought of Sunday School. I have so many friends. Felt so undeserving, felt so touched.

Today I felt that life was worth living.

The past two years, no matter how many tears I have shed, how many emotions I have spilled, these past two years were the best years of my life. If I had given up along the way I would never have experienced this joy.

I would have more in future. I should not give up.

When I entered council, one thing people always told me was that I should put in effort so I wouldn't look back on my council term with regret, and 'cos I would get in return how much I'd put in. I view my relationship in this way.

I don't regret this relationship. It may have been crazy, it may have had its ups and downs but it was a good relationship. I know with deepest sincerity that I gave of my deepest love, that all the sacrifices were nothing. I remember all the memories with fondness, even the first kiss you gave me that night in the Central Plaza 18th October 2002, your birthday and Open House. The a1 song you dedicated to me - One More Try. National Day celebrations 2002, when I was so happy I flew into your arms right then and there in the hall...MAF 2002, when I ran and jumped into your arms again 'cos I was so happy to see you. You were right there for me, on Investiture, when I lost my locker key, couldn't get my formal attire and was crying. You were there waiting for me after council, and helping me along in council. The letters...the test tube at MAF street market that you paid $5 for, extra fee just to say DEWEN LUV ESTHER, the balloon on Teachers' Day. I think years down the road I will remember.

I have been blessed to know love, to have experienced it. I know I loved you with all my heart and I know that you loved me too. I saw you cry.

I remember the poem I wrote in your voice. You were the speaker and the speaker said, "Love me just 'cos I am me". Do you remember? I did love you for you, and I still love you for you.

I am glad to be a part of your life, and glad that you are a part of my life. And I thank you from the bottom of my heart for being there.

There's a time for everything, including letting go, and I know now that whatever you decide it won't really matter because the value of this relationship remains. I thought a lot about things today, and I realised that I didn't really mind anything. Ending is bittersweet. Because it brings freedom and because I will carry the memories of this relationship forever. Staying on is good because I love you wholeheartedly. Even limbo is good because I don't want to force you into anything.

I am content to continue this time out, even for months. If God wills, then may we be together. Whatever you choose, I will support you. 'cos whatever I did and whatever mistakes I made, even if it came out wrong, I know that ultimately I gave you the best love I could give.

Somehow the hurt doesn't matter anymore. I asked myself if you were still the DW I knew and loved or if you had changed, but I realised that even if you changed I'd still love you. It isn't infatuation nor obsession. It was true love and I'm so blessed to experience it. And I don't hate myself anymore 'cos I know the worth of what I gave. And 'cos I know that ultimately I didn't love you on the surface. I loved you just 'cos you are you.

I wanted to share my life with you. I still do. I smsed you today about my happiness but you didn't sms back. I don't know what's up with you. But I'm content to wait.

Tomorrow I will cut my hair short.

I'm out of depression and on the upswing.

Autumn leaves blew along life's breeze 10:36 p.m.

Saturday, August 16, 2003

Crying again.

It hurts a lot.

Ok so I wake up early and anxiously look at the clock anticipating the meeting. I pray twice this morning.

Then he smses.

I expect the worse. That he's not coming.

He's online, actually. But he needs to go off soon.

So I go online.

And he asks me how I am. I don't know what to say but I tell him it hurts. We exchange preliminary greetings. I wish he would just jump in and say whatever he wants to say. I can't say anything. I can't say anything 'cos I'm afraid whatever I say will come out wrong.

He tells me he needs to go off soon.

My question is, then why didn't you arrange to meet earlier? But I don't ask it 'cos it's one down against me again. I don't know why hurting has become a crime, and why I can't even say anything without there being consequences.

My connection goes off. I try to connect again but it won't connect. I ask my brother for help. I'm upset. In the end I restart the computer. The connection still won't work. I move the piece. I try to pray, but I feel so ...

I come online.

I try thanking God but it comes out empty. 'cos I'm selfish. I need to come online. It means that much to me. I don't think it does to him. He just came online to check his mail is all. While here I am not even surfing anything but just paying attention to his messages.

Thought he would send me a message but he didn't so I did. Nvm. Being oversensitive.

Before we get anything done he has to go. Go out. Before I can say anything he goes offline.

And he just leaves me hanging. Like I've all the time in the world.

THE END.

I just want to cry. My eyes are drowning in tears already and my face is streaked with tears again.

I'm so out of your life.

I don't matter.

Is it so wrong to love?

Then I hate myself again 'cos I cry so much. I break down so easily. 'cos the tears just seem to come. And if I told him this he'd leave me 'cos he couldn't handle me. So I can't even cry.

Suddenly I can't do anything. Even living is a crime.

Deleted all my answers for Friday Five. Think I'll do it another time when I'm more stable. The answers I gave just now were ... you don't want to know. (And I wouldn't want you to know either 'cos knowing how crazy I can be you'd all just leave.)

Autumn leaves blew along life's breeze 10:20 a.m.

Friday, August 15, 2003

I broke down again tonight. Started sobbing. I couldn't break up with him. It hurt too much.

So I smsed him one question because I didn't want to break up on my perception that he didn't love me. It wasn't even a strong perception 'cos I thought/hoped otherwise.

"Do you love me?"

I thought he'd answer something like, "I dunno." but he said -

"Yes why?"

Surprise 1: He loves me. Which means a lot.

So I told him he doesn't seem to love me and that when I told my dad that guys don't listen my dad said it's 'cos they don't care. That he doesn't hurt 'cos I'm hurting does he. And that I hurt so much I want to let go. That it seems like I'm a nuisance.

(Felt like Jingjing from Holland V. Teared when I saw her cry. I feel so ugly, so immature, so misunderstood, and so ... rejected. Jingjing's a very sweet and cute girl who genuinely loves. But she makes mistakes. I can, but don't want to, write an elaborate commentary on the show now. I don't even watch the show much, but I feel a lot. I don't intend to put myself up.)

He gave the usual replies i.e. "No" (i.e. denying the accusations without elaborating so I'd be convinced and reassured), "I dunno". But, he said it hurts that I'm hurting.

Surprise 2: He cares. Which means a lot.

I asked him to come online.

I thought he wouldn't. That he would say he was too busy with his studies. Plus I felt like I was being demanding again and would give the wrong impression. Plus I didn't say that I wanted to talk even though that was the reason I asked him to come online.

"I'll try...Com jammed.."

Surprise 3: He actually agreed to my request. Which means a lot.

I told myself not to expect too much. His com gives him a lot of trouble.

Then the beep of an sms coming in. Suspense.

"Hey can i talk to u online tmrw morning instead say abt ten cos my com won't connect.."

Surprise 4: He sent an sms that is more than a few words long. Which means a lot.

Surprise 5: He actually gave an alternative suggestion. Which means a lot.

Surprise 6: He actually actually ACTUALLY SPECIFIED, gave some DETAILS. Initiative. Finally.

Though the tears were still blinding I smiled.

And I thanked him. Genuinely. I honestly appreciated it.

Now I'm in trouble. If we meet online tomorrow, chances are he'll read my blog. And if he reads my blog, he'll see all the nasty things I wrote about him. Which will make even a most rational person defensive and angry simply because of the magnitude of negativity.

I hate myself.

I hate myself for obsessing over him. For thinking so much about him. I feel weak, insecure, desperate and dependent. And because if he wanted to I could be easily manipulated. Not to the extent that I give up my principles e.g. pre-marital sex is a big NO (not that he'd ask for it), but I would do A LOT for him. I don't want to elaborate on what I'd do 'cos I'd be displaying my weakness too much.

I hate myself for being depressed. I'm in depression. I've been staying up until 2-3a.m. to blog. I've been distracted in class. I've withdrawn. I've been smiling less. I've not been talking normally to people to the extent that it's obvious. Xin Yi called and I couldn't even get out of the depression. I've been saying the most surprising things to people (e.g. sighed and told my mom today that "Trust me. I know a lot of guys. They don't listen." or something to that effect). I've been self-injuring every day: mind, fluids, genitals, thumb, fingernails, toenails, knee. I've been very sensitive, to tv especially. I've been crying a lot. I've been physically and mentally tired and sick from the stress. I skipped school today.

And I hate myself for being in depression because if it means I'm going to lose someone I love then it's not worth it. Now even being in depression is dangerous. It's a crime. But I can't get out of it.

Why am I trying so hard? If he loves me, he should accept me for who I am. But somehow the responsibility weighs on me to make myself more lovable. I hate myself. For being too immature, idealistic, unrealistic and critical of myself. For living in the past and for clinging on to the good and bad memories. Like the photo of the two of us during MAF. For living in regret. For living in my own world where life doesn't move on.

I am not taking back what I said on my blog in my previous entries. Because I honestly felt that way. Because I'm a writer and I turn to writing to vent my emotions. Because I don't want to hide anything from him. Because if we want to work this out he has to know how I've been feeling.

The only reason I'd take for a breakup is that he doesn't love me. But if he initiates a breakup with me for the third time now, I will agree because it is his choice and I've fought enough. I was a bitch, and I deserve to lose him.

It's not that I'm so emotionally unstable now that I'm unable to be logical. In fact, I was impressed that I was able to speak some sense at the table today. My parents were frustrated over my brother. But I pointed out that

1. Today was a holiday for my brother (cross country so no school) and he didn't need to study every day.
2. My parents were upset at his irresponsibility in staying out and not leaving a message. They were not upset because he didn't study. I told them that dredging up the irrelevant issue of studying would make things worse.
3. My brother might not be purposely ignoring their phone calls and sms. He may be at a movie, but anyhow he may be genuinely unaware of his phone. (I was eventually proven right because my brother had left his handphone at home.)
4. I admit that my brother was wrong, but he may have had problems of his own and wanted to be alone.

I try. I really try. To be understanding.

And my expectations of others are way lower than my expectations of myself.

But I expect from others a certain standard of logic and responsibility.

I'm confused. 'cos I keep putting others up and myself down that I feel

a) ugly/insert negative adjective
b) misunderstood ('cos everyone may think highly of those whom I put up and think lowly of me and 'cos people may attach wrong tone and interpretation to what I say)
c) immature ('cos I share on my blog how I honestly feel and fear that people will find my ideas stupid. My GP tutor said to my face last week that my ideas are warped and immature and that I'm living in my own little world. (No I'm not putting down my GP tutor. She was talking in reference to my block test essay, the one that got me 18/50 i.e. the one that I failed, and she didn't just criticise me, but encouraged me too.)

Skipped school today. Overslept, didn't do homework, didn't pack bag, didn't study for test and just plain chickened out. So now I have FOUR Geog DRQs to handle and my Maths tutorials and whatever else. Didn't want to skip Lit (4 periods of Lit) and I had administrative matters to clear for class (Prom) and council (photo orders) but in addition to my general unpreparedness as a reason to skip school, I also knew that today was a Friday, my only day without Econs and JT -who's v pissed with me for missing school and legitimately so [she showed me my attendance since the beginning of the year and yep, I miss a lot of school, like last year]-.

I admit it. I have very serious problems.

The next time (which I hope never comes) JT pressures me about my attendance I think I'll tell her the truth.

I hate feeling this depressed because it shows I'm weak, it shows I'm incapable and it may signal the end of my relationship.

Not severely worryingly suicidal, but steadily losing the will to live and contemplating -mildly not obsessively-suicide.

Why do I bother to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth? Why don't I just say "I want to kill myself. I want to stab myself in the stomach and see the knife slide gently and smoothly in or slit my throat hard and easy" which I do, but I don't want to. I don't like endings. And I'm not -that- upset. And talking to others too much about depression will lead to drastic and understandable consequences. Like people walking out of your life 'cos they can't take you anymore.

Midnight now. Had a hard time blogging tonight, trying to put down all my feelings in words. Very exhausted. Will go to sleep now and make sure I wake up early. Maybe 6a.m.. Pray for me, because I won't.

Autumn leaves blew along life's breeze 09:39 p.m.

Thursday, August 14, 2003

A little tired but will work tonight hopefully.

I'm withdrawing. Even Xin Yi wondered why I was so quiet this afternoon during tea at Coffee Bean. I'm not doing this on purpose, but I'm not in a good mood and I'm smiling less than I used to (in class and along the corridors).

I saw him today. He was talking and laughing really loudly with his classmates (?). My friend said she saw him sitting at his class bench with about 5 or 6 of his class girls who were tutoring him. Seems like he's working really hard.

Every time I see him he looks extremely happy. The first time this girl was screaming excitedly, "De Wen!!!" and his face brightened and he looked past me to her (I think he didn't see me). Other times he looks like he's really happy and having a great time.

It's amazing then why every single sms replied from him to me (I always initiate sms) comes back sounding depressed.

I feel so ugly, like a shadow hanging over him. Why do I even bother to talk to him when he doesn't want me to? My friends are surprised that I'm still so nice, buying him things and smsing him. Today I looked at his rose and the petals. They're dying. The petals are turning black and the rose is wilting and drooping. They definitely won't survive until next week. Why do we even bother meeting next week? He doesn't want to talk. He just wants to get the gifts. Yet while he wants to get the gifts, he somehow can't spare a second in the morning to take them from me, and despite me telling him that his rose is dying he doesn't care.

I don't know why I'm still hanging on. He obviously doesn't love me and care for me. If he did he wouldn't hurt me so much. He wouldn't brush me off, he wouldn't lie, he wouldn't say hurting things behind my back and he wouldn't be so happy and nonchalant when he knows very well that I'm hurting. This relationship means nothing to him.

I read a poem he wrote to me. In this poem he says no one could ever take my place (especially in his heart), that I'm his queen, and that I'm "the only girl [he loves]". I know he meant it then. What about now?

I've been thinking a lot and I really think he hasn't been treating me rightly. A relationship comes with certain responsibilities and even if one has studies and other commitments one has to rightly justify himself to his girlfriend, not push her aside and let her hurt. So my studies don't matter?

The rose will not survive until next week. I wonder what I'm going to do with it. But I will wait until after we meet before making my decision.

But if there are no drastic changes, I'm going to ask for a breakup. There is no use loving a guy who doesn't love me and doesn't want to try to. I don't think he even cares whether I'm alive.

Came home at about 5.30p.m. then packed my room from then to about 9.40p.m., taking only a 35 min or so dinner break. My room looks a lot better, but my packing isn't completed. As usual I have great plans.

1. Complete daily work and finish owed work. I did my Econs Foreign Exchange MCQs today, so thankfully I should have no Econs homework for a while. For work I want to do my:

-3 Geog DRQs
-Bee essay (which means I've got to learn Plath from scratch) [Keep In View]
-GP comprehension [KIV]
-Maths Tutorials: Estimation Theory, Hypothesis Testing
-Study for Geog test tomorrow (two Geog tests a week, imagine, though I've skipped three for legitimate and unavoidable reasons, which explains why I need to do the 3 Geog DRQs)
-Study for Maths lecture test on Statistics on Thursday (one week's time). As usual I'm aiming for an A.

From now on hopefully I will be doing homework (note: I haven't really started on revision yet) early in the morning (6.40a.m. to 7.30a.m. in school), during my one period break and when I reach home after school. I am not mugging. I am just using this workplan as a guide.

2. Pack my room really well such that it's very neat and conducive for studying, with my notes in place for my revision. This is underway.

3. Get my writing portfolio out. This is a lot of work.

4. Start reading the handouts I got from the scholarship fairs and do research on the Urban Redevelopment Authority (URA), Singapore Press Holdings (SPH) and various universities in the US, UK and Australia. I am very interested in a URA overseas scholarship to do Geography in the UK.

5. Although the previous 4 items are important, of course, I need to start my revision too and I have a lot of readings to clear for Geog and Lit, not to mention notes to start with. Tomorrow marks one month to the Prelims (15th Steptember, excluding GP).

Yet, in all my dealings, I must remember not to forget God, whom I've neglected, and yet who has continued to bless me every day of my life.

Just a note: I do check my e-mails but often I leave them unread. I don't read blogs. I come online (for quite a long time actually) to chat and write my own blog, which is important to me.

Autumn leaves blew along life's breeze 10:30 p.m.

Thursday, August 14, 2003

At least I can see my bedroom floor. I did a lot of packing but still have lots to do.

I haven't been doing my homework. I owe 3 DRQs for Geog, and I haven't done my homework for tomorrow. Think I'll go to school early to do. Might not join the councillors 'cos if I'm not doing Maths I can concentrate better alone (I can do Maths at any place).

Plus I've been going online, watching tv, reading.

But.

1. I don't go online for fun, frankly. I go online to vent my frustrations on my blog, and to chat. Also I had to clear 500+ mails from my inbox yesterday, and I haven't finished.

2. Most of the time I watch good shows like today's Children of Heaven and Channel News Asia. I rarely watch tv.

3. Been reading newspapers and starting on my rereading of Passage to India (Lit novel).

So it's not like I've been wasting my time. But a lot of time is spent sleeping, talking and blogging. Need to buck up.

Autumn leaves blew along life's breeze 02:47 a.m.

Thursday, August 14, 2003

Just watched Children Of Heaven, an Iranian award-winning film from which the local Home Run is adapted.

The boy is very like someone I know. Him, to be more specific.

1. He's smart. He tops his class. [Or he could top his class if he wanted to.]

2. He cares a lot about his family. He's relatively obedient. He doesn't go to sports practice and match 'cos his mom is ill. He helps out with the housework. He cares about his sister.

3. He cries very often. Guys shouldn't be ashamed of that.

4. He has a lot of problems. His dad is poor, his mom is ill, and he lost his sister's shoes so the two of them have to share one pair of shoes. As a result he's late.

5. He has goals and ambitions and determination when he wants to/needs to.

BUT. Despite all these virtues,

6. HE DOESN'T TALK. He doesn't share anything. He makes excuses. The thing is, if he only told the truth and was a little more assertive instead of wallowing in depression, running off alone and not interacting with his friends, the discipline master would believe him and his sister would believe him. People actually care for him (e.g. his dad) and want him around (e.g. his friends) but his friends don't trust him anymore 'cos he just doesn't go for practice and matches and gives excuses until when he tells the truth ("My mom is sick") people don't believe him anymore. Plus his excuses are very ridiculous. "I fell into the gutter", "I live very far". And he likes to postpone things indefinitely without giving good alternatives e.g.

Ali: "My dad has to work."
Discipline master: "Tell him to come tomorrow then."
Ali: "He has to work tomorrow too."

And he makes promises he can't keep.

Discipline master: "I don't want this happening again."
Ali: "Yes sir."

I mean, it's not like the world is heartless. You are DEFINITELY going to be late sooner or later if you keep up this routine, so please stop betraying people's trust in you and being an irritating pest and having people on your back all the time. Just tell everyone the truth. It's not like they will pity you. But they will understand you more. I pity you even MORE that you're so incapable of telling the truth.

You don't practise what you preach. You say to your sister, "I thought you understood [that dad has no money to buy you new shoes]" but you don't help people understand yourself. It's not unselfishness. It's selfishness and stupidity. And when everything happens as a result of your selfishness and stupidity, you wallow in depression and the whole cycle repeats again. Apparently friendship means nothing to you.

He's a really caring boy with a lovely smile. Dark and cute. But he needs to talk more.

Yep, so this is my take on the show. Forgive the harshness.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Cried today. Thought I was dull to the pain but I blew up at DW over sms. I don't want to talk about it. It happens again and again anyway. And I don't know where to draw the line already between pushing you and just letting you be that way. You obviously don't listen to anything I say and you don't love or care about me at all.

Anyway, the meeting has been postponed (again) to next week because apparently you're busy. And DW's rose and petals are really dying. Took them out of the tin, washed them 'cos they (and the tin) were stinking really badly. Put water and all, but I tell you, they won't survive until next week. And I found out a few things:

1. You're too busy. You're not too busy to watch tv or go out with your family but you're too busy to get the GIFTS I am giving to you from me. Too busy in the mornings, too busy after school. Too busy to the extent that even though I finally told you I'm giving you a rose and that your rose is DYING you're still too busy. Don't blame me if next week your rose is wilted. Don't worry, I'm not too busy to buy things for you, to write a letter to you, to care about this relationship, to take care of your rose, to sms you to arrange something 'cos you're too busy...

2. Me: "Why are we meeting? [What does this meeting mean to you?]" You: "I thought you need to pass me sth?". Ok. So gifts have been reduced to 'sth' and the meeting is purely because I need to pass you sth.

3. You don't know that we haven't talked normally for one month. You say you don't know how long we haven't talked because your memory is bad. More like you don't care.

And of COURSE, all the accusations end with you saying sorry, that you're not good enough and slipping back into your own little world again. Which is not the point. The point is not that you're not good enough get it? At this rate you're going even if you're not good enough you'll never be good enough!

I have refrained from hurling expletives blatantly online. You know, it may very well be that you have your own good reasons for doing what you're doing and treating me the way you're treating but you don't say and you don't BOTHER to say and even when I tell you this and keep reiterating it you still don't LISTEN.

It's like, even if I want to keep this relationship you're forcing me out.

But wait, I forget. You DON'T EVEN WANT TO KEEP THIS RELATIONSHIP. What was I thinking?

I don't know what to do with you.

Autumn leaves blew along life's breeze 12:12 a.m.

Wednesday, August 13, 2003

Thinking of the events leading to the time out. I did lighten up a lot on the protectiveness just before he left but I think my depression could have driven him away. I still remember that day in Coffee Bean. Plus I was quite sarcastic at times about his treatment of me.

On his part, he was quite unreachable. He was in his own world, and he often left me to join his class. I lightened up on many things, but he just drifted away. I felt neglected and was left guessing.

I couldn't give him his space. Maybe because the time out was not clearly defined - for how long? It seemed to have no limits; the only reason he gave was that he needed to concentrate on his study, and that did not justify leaving me because a) I had my studies to worry about too, b) We could work at it together and c) He was choosing his classmates over me so the problem could not have been with his study but with me. Furthermore, I was not asking for after-school meetings. We couldn't even share mornings and common breaks.

My friends haven't exactly been totally defensive of me, but have tried to be objective, and that I truly appreciate.

I was pretty calm last night, but something said hurt me a lot. What happened was one of my friends asked DW if he was going out with me the next day, and he said, "Do I have to? Did Esther say I have to?" and when told, "No. She didn't say anything." he said "Thank God". I think I don't need to explain why I was hurt.

I wonder if he feels pain or if he's dull to the relationship and just wants to move on with his life to pursue his other ambitions. I've been thinking about this relationship a lot, and I know I can't judge because everything's a muddle and there is no one clear reason or just one party at fault. My first question in the previous entry summarises quite well the problems though. It's hard to rectify the situation now that we've drifted so much, run so far from the problems and each other, and just put on this can't-be-bothered attitude.

Woke up at 8. Injured my genitals and manipulated my fluids before. Been doing that quite often now. Then went to practise violin until 9.15a.m. before packing and leaving for my school. Met Angeline (friend from church) while walking to the main centre to register; she was holding her violin about to take her Grade 3 exam and my teachers were accompanying her to the main centre. I registered then went back to the branch to practise my violin. Practised from 9.50a.m. to 11.05a.m.; repeated my pieces and scales. Had a few rounds with the piano with my violin teacher giving last minute coaching. Two other students taking their exams came later so my teachers helped them and I had time to practise on my own.

The examination room used is the same one used every year, one of the biggest in the whole school. The examiner's name is displayed on the door of the room and right before the exam the candidate is taken from the waiting room (the front of the school where the cashier and the displays of books, merchandise and instruments for sale, and waiting cushioned seats are) down the corridor to stand outside the examination room with the friendly external officer. The external officer usually asks the student to check his/her particulars on the otherwise blank marksheet and reads the name of the examiner to the candidate and advises him/her to greet the examiner Sir/Mam. The doorbell is sounded when the examiner is ready, then the external officer gives the nod, opens the door and walks into the room, giving the examiner the marksheet with the candidate's name written, and leaves the room. The candidate greets the examiner and the exam is more or less run by the examiner, who usually is a very confident and friendly person. The practical exam usually consists of testing on the examination pieces, the scales and arpeggios, sight-reading and aural.

The violin exam is similar to the piano one, but it is slightly different in that examination pieces are accompanied by piano. In Grade 1 too, the teacher tunes the violin with the piano before the examination. Of course, the candidate is also not at the piano but at the music stand, so in a way the room is a little more cluttered. So my two teachers and I were outside with the external officer when the bell sounded and we went in. I greeted the examiner, and proceeded to tell her which pieces I was playing but she stopped me because the external officer hadn't given her the marksheet yet. The officer gave it her. The examiner told me to put my score on the music stand and I stood there while my teachers tuned the violin. The shoulder rest dropped onto the floor for some reason (I have no idea why because it had been on the violin for the past more than an hour with no problems). My first teacher left. Then the examiner told me to play the examination pieces, which I did, with the accompaniment of my second teacher.

When I first played the violin, I was shocked at the beauty of the music. Was it the tuning? It was perfect. However, I didn't play as well as I'd hoped I would. I peaked during the practice earlier. Also I was nervous, and my bow was trembling (my bow trembles usually but in the exam room it seemed more obvious). I couldn't express the piece the way I wanted to, I couldn't get into the music, and I had trouble with bringing out the dynamics. I think it was because I was unsettled, too nervous. I think I made a few mistakes with my intonation too, but I should pass on the pieces.

Violin is like piano. You aren't supposed to concentrate on the playing. You concentrate on the listening. The mind and the fingers run on their own and you sit back and listen to the beautiful music wash over you. I'd reached that level of playing in piano, but not yet (understandably so) in violin.

I should pass on the scales. I think I made a few intonation errors, though. I really really could have done better on the scales and exam pieces, given the amount of practice I'd put in earlier and the performance excellence I had reached. I could have played a lot better. But although I regret that I didn't play well enough, it was a good experience and I thank God I didn't mess everything up; it was only that I didn't play as well as I could have.

Objectively speaking, the sight-reading was difficult. There were slurs and separate bows, and great changes in dynamics. The only thing was that the notes mainly concentrated on 2 or at most 3 of the 4 strings on the violin so I didn't have to make many string changes. I should have played slower. Even when I played the scales for my teacher earlier he said I should play slower for the scales. I usually play even faster when I practise at home. I like to play fast. I really tried to play slow for the sight-reading; didn't want to go too fast, and a good thing was that I took note of the key signature, the melody and rhythm of the piece, and the dynamics. I didn't play the sight-reading as well as I had hoped (perfection), but I think it was ok. After all it's sight-reading, so I suppose a few mistakes should be condoned. Maybe after all my experiences at sight-reading the piece actually looked like a breeze for me (objectively difficult but I knew I could do it) so I was disappointed.

Aural was good. The examiner told me to put my violin and bow on an organ chair in the room and then sat down at the piano. Section A: The examiner would play the piece and I was supposed to clap the beats, joining in as soon as I can, clapping louder on a strong beat and softer on a weak beat. I was a little muddled up at first; I came in uncertain of what the beat was (I usually come in very soon because I don't want the piece to end before I come in) but soon I got a strong beating rhythm going and gave my answer: 2 time.

Section B: Echo-Singing. The examiner plays a melody, I sing what she has played; the melody is broken up into fragments so she plays a part of it and I sing that part, then she plays another part and I sing the next part. I perfected this as usual. Section C: Differences. The examiner plays two short melodies and I'm supposed to spot the differences in rhythm. This is my usually weak section. Today I said in the first instance the first note was a crotchet followed by two quavers while in the second instance the first note was a dotted crotchet followed by two semiquavers. The examiner gave me a weird look but on hindsight this seems like the correct answer even though I was a little uncertain then.

Section D: Questions on an extract. The examiner plays one extract and I answer questions on articulation and dynamics. I perfected this one. I'm not trying to sound arrogant, but objectively speaking Aural should not be a problem for me because it isn't really related to violin, it's Grade 1 level, and I've done Aural for piano up to Grade 8. Actually because of my piano background I had a lot of things going for me. Maybe I should have worked harder on my violin 'cos I didn't practise my violin often. This exam was a good experience though and although I was regretful that I didn't do better objectively judging I should hopefully pass with merit. If violin is anything like piano, the grades are as follows:

Fail: Less than 100/150
Pass: 100/150
Merit: 120/150
Distinction: 130/150

I was stoning in front of the tv today. There was a really good economics program on Channel News Asia but I fell asleep after a while, not 'cos the show was boring but 'cos I was really tired. Then I watched a little bit of Stepping Out and just now a little bit of Holland V. The relationship problems really lash out at me. In Stepping Out, one girl is taking the vow of celibacy, the guy runs up to the temple and shouts "Don't!" in the middle of the ceremony but she looks back at him, then shakes her head and asks to carry on. (Esther goes 'Why didn't you tell her your feelings for her earlier?' But then again I don't think she told him she was taking the vow and although she knew he liked her she was disillusioned at love because of what happened to her friend.) The next girl (her friend) is in a horrid marriage where she tries to be nice but her husband's depressed 'cos he's crippled and thinks she's cheating on him and hates her, burns down her shop (and their livelihood so she's struggling for money) and doesn't care about her even though she's pregnant with their child. She's respectful to him though and accepts her fate, while her friends are angry at him.

The third girl is married to a rich man but is depressed. She goes to the temple where she was brought up and is helped to escape. Her other husband and daughter wait for her. However, she meets her rich husband in the market and is escorted back to the car. The rich husband hears her daughter call out to her, asks the chauffeur to drive back into the market and speed up to knock down the little girl. The woman pleads with her rich husband and says she won't try to escape again, so the rich husband spares the girl. (Esther is indignant and horrified. The rich husband doesn't love her and thinks he can buy her over with money -later in the show when he's attacked and she can't fully get in the car he pushes the pregnant her out of the car and drives off-. Esther is angry that guys view girls only as mere possessions.)

Holland V: Jingjing is played by so many guys whom she loves. She cries 'cos she keeps getting taken advantage of by the guys she loves and until now doesn't know whether they ever loved her. She resigns herself to an arranged marriage to Ming.

Relationships relationships relationships.

This morning, an NUS Engineering lecturer was murdered during a meeting. The murderer (someone who works in the university) slashed the face of a receptionist (?) then barged into the meeting room (where a relatively high-level meeting was taking place, I assume) then slit the throat of the vice dean in the presence of 14 other lecturers.

My dad is an NUS Engineering lecturer and he's the assistant dean.

Imagine how I felt in the afternoon watching the news on Channel News Asia, seeing his car not in the driveway and hearing on the news that the identity of the murdered person had not been released. Imagine the number of calls my dad got today from his friends.

Very very very thankful that he was spared. He wasn't at the meeting. He said the girls were crying. I think no one expected it to happen: Singapore, a university and during a meeting. Think the whole engineering faculty will be shaken up after a while. Imagine your vice dean/lecturer just dead, and murdered in such a cruel way. Worse, imagine if you were the family of that lecturer, especially the wife. It wasn't even that the lecturer was bad and had enemies. The murderer was mentally unsound. How unjust. :(

Autumn leaves blew along life's breeze 06:45 p.m.

Wednesday, August 13, 2003

The rain is falling outside. It's past midnight, and I've been online for 2 hours, way longer than I'd intended to be online for. My room looks like a cyclone's hit it, because I was doing some packing earlier. My dad came into my room and looked a little displeased that I was on the computer and the room was in a big mess. I was quite irritated.

I've been quite irritated lately. But. -smile- I have not said. Not to those who've irritated me anyway. I don't want to put tension into situations, make things awkward, make people feel awkward and spoil relationships, if any.

But I really really really hate Xianwei. I wish he'd just stop disturbing me in school. I try to ignore him, to pretend I don't see or hear him (unless he's asking me a question; if he just makes a comment I don't bother to acknowledge it), or to take another route instead of walking past him. I do this so I won't be excessively provoked and then blow up at him. Today he said something to me that got me really irritated. I tried to smile. I don't want to be fake. But I might blow up at him one day if he irritates me enough.

Then my friends asked about DW. Many of my friends have been asking about him. Most people don't know anything of what's been going on, and I don't bother to tell them that something's wrong 'cos I don't want them to feel uncomfortable. I don't know why I said what I did today. They were asking about prom, and I told them I was sitting with the class, then they asked about him, and I said no I don't know about him, but while I stop there normally I continued this time and said that we're on a verge of a break up. Then I just couldn't let go of the anger; I could feel it in my voice. I really tried to cool down, and I didn't say much after that; in fact Cheryl and I joked a while. I really appreciated that she kinda patted me and comforted me and said she's still there for me. Really really appreciate it. I can't thank God enough for all my friends who've helped me through this period of time.

I said something wrong at the council table yesterday morning too (Monday morning). I said I wasn't interested in MAF. Yep. I was provoked by someone who's really really very nice and whom I appreciate lots.

I was kinda depressed today but it helps being in school. Really it does. Because when I'm in school I think about other people and I care about other people so I ask about them, I show concern over them, I talk and joke with them and I don't wallow in depression. Plus I have many good friends in school whom I appreciate a lot. The councillors form a kinda cocoon around me every morning. It helps just sitting there with them. Then there are classmates, even teachers... and I do enjoy lessons.

People have been asking about my views about my relationship and my breakup so maybe I'll answer some commonly asked questions.

1. Why is this relationship falling?
For many many complicated reasons. It was mainly my fault. Too protective, too demanding, too depressed, self-absorbed, took him for granted and never realised it. In fact I thought I was trying and he wasn't. On his part, he didn't/couldn't communicate his problems with the relationship to me and left, which opened the floor to a lot more problems. Other perceived reasons have been stated in previous blog entries - misunderstandings. The main problem with this relationship was a lack of communication and focus, and external factors (my depression, plus his personal problems which he often couldn't share).

2. Do I love him?
Yes.

3. Does he love me?
No.

4. Is there a chance that he'll love me?
Very slim. Time constraints and many pressures e.g. Prelims, A levels and overseas tertiary education.

5. Do I want this relationship?
Yes.

6. What will happen to this relationship?
I don't want to give anyone any false hope. This relationship will most likely break up.

7. What will I do if this relationship breaks up?
Move on. Study for Prelims, get 4As and A1 for GP at A levels and hopefully get a scholarship and be on my way to Geography at university.

8. Will we be friends after this relationship?
No.

Note: These are current personal speculations. I haven't met him yet because he was sick today and didn't come to school. I'm not going to school tomorrow because of my violin exam. Please pray for me (for my violin exam). I will most probably meet him on Thursday. As usual, it's up to him, timing etc.. My only requirement is that we meet after school so that we aren't seen by anyone else. These speculations may change after the meeting. The meeting doesn't promise anything. If DW wants it may just be a 1 min meeting.

9. How am I feeling?
Hurt, bitter, angry, sad, regretful.

I'm ok. =) Good night world.

Autumn leaves blew along life's breeze 12:22 a.m.

Sunday, August 10, 2003

Two people I loved the most left/are leaving me because I'm in depression.

I don't want to get angry. I don't want to blame them for being selfish. I'm praying for focus, on God.

But I think, they couldn't see beyond my depression. Maybe, they couldn't see the real me. And maybe because they left, they will never be able to see the real me. Which is a very big pity because I loved them and I really wanted them to know me. I think the latest one hurts especially because I really gave a lot. I'm not talking about effort, or sacrifices. I'm talking about my life - my past, present and future and my body - reserved past, present and future. I don't think anyone will ever appreciate the full idea of this. I gave myself. My full self. This latest love was so great that I gave...my all.

For that I am not angry at DW. In fact I admire him. Because in just over a year, he had me. He really had me. I don't think anyone else is capable of that.

I think DW doesn't understand the meaning of depression. But I don't blame him, because even if he walked out on me, he was, and is, and will be, the best guy I've ever seen in my entire life, one that left an impact, and a void that will never be filled. We will meet on Tuesday, day, time, duration and discussion all to be decided by him. I will wait, I will listen, and I will pray.

But I will thank the Lord, for I loved these two people, and I know that at least one of them, if not both, loved me. I thought we were made for each other. I still think we are. But it's really their choice, and by God's will. At least God is constant, and he has provided for me other friends who still love me.

Maybe I should cut down on showing my depression to those I love the most.

If f(x) = Joy, then
f(x) = xsint + c
where c = autonomous joy from God (because God is constant), x = perceived derived joy from other variables e.g. love (to and from), family, friends and shopping and t= time.
Note that the graph is a sine curve because it fluctuates with increased time, varies according to the perceived derived joy from variables but always has regular cycles and definite peaks and depressions because the function is limited by God. =)

I thank God for a really good day today.

Today didn't start off well but by God's grace it picked up.

1. Mom opened the door of my bedroom and found me whispering to myself as I was getting ready for church. I always talk to myself - either in my head, through whispers, or through normally audible speech. My mom discreetly closed the door without saying anything but although I was grateful and appreciative, I still felt uncomfortable and that my privacy was being intruded. I hope I didn't upset her by telling her that I felt that my privacy was being intruded. This signifies a low point because I was whispering in anger about the usual problems.

2. I teared in church. It got so bad I closed my eyes hoping no one would see the tears. I wonder if anyone saw my face then. I needed comfort and encouragement again today after the rough week. Then the choir presented the song "Softly and Tenderly" - 'Come home...come home...come home...come home...earnestly tenderly Jesus is calling, calling O sinner come home.' Although this is the first time I've listened to this tune, I will remember it. I thank God for each Sunday, for promised and never-failing comfort.

3. Veronica's teaching Sunday School now that Lily's on a break (giving birth + maternity leave). Uncle GL might be teaching too; Veronica says that having a male teacher will put a different perspective in view, but while I am comfortable with that, I may not feel comfortable sharing. This will not be a big problem though because I don't really like talking about my problems nowadays; in fact I didn't even share today (I wasn't asked to anyway). We're starting on Genesis (again). I was a little annoyed that Veronica was repeating lessons, overinterpreting the Bible and getting a little too didactic and pushy for my liking but I appreciate her general concern for everyone and her effort, and what she has learnt from the Bible.

4. I managed to have lunch before violin lesson thank God. Violin lesson was very tiring 'cos we did a lot of practice and somehow my shoulders and arms were not relaxed today. I hurt my wrist as a result, but now it's recovered (really thank God for this 'cos my violin exam is on Wed - please pray for me). We did basic exercises and I kept the smile on my face even though I was tired; in the end we did accomplish quite a bit. I must thank my violin teacher for extending the lesson time too 'cos he didn't have another student directly after my lesson.

5. Supposed to meet Jevon from about 4-4.30p.m. to 5.30p.m. at Jurong East MRT Station then go to Starbucks Coffee at IMM to study and chat. I decided to go there earlier to study though 'cos Jurong Entertainment Centre didn't have unoccupied stone tables. I spent about 1h shopping and managed to buy ge's birthday present. It was a beautifully exquisite tin cylinder, tall and blue. The artist is Raymond Peynet, a love artist, and the picture is of a man holding a woman sitting on a swing of twining vines underneath a fish. Little flying fish around. Light clouds in a blue starry sky, castles on the cliffs and a ship with its sails. French words. I was uncomfortable about the love bit, but the tin was so beautiful and I chose it because of the blue, and because my ge likes fish. There were so many Raymond Peynet things - thick notebooks, memo pads, post-its, letter writing paper, tins in different shapes and sizes, with different pictures.

[I remember coming to IMM with DW before and walking around but I can't remember why.]

6. I decided to get DW a tin too. An exact same one. Simply because it was so beautiful and I wanted the best. Then I decided to get a Peynet letter-writing set too, a blue one to match, and because it was the loveliest. On my way out I saw a cd cover, and I remembered that I'd wanted to get a cd cover for DW so I could return all his cds. Xin Yi said I should just give him his cds in a plastic bag. Why am I doing this? I chose the nicest cd cover there, one with a beautiful naturally beige fabric and leather border. On the way downstairs I suddenly wanted to add a rose in the tin. I decided to do it later so the rose would be fresher.

7. I bought an Expresso Frappuccino 'cos it's going for $3.80 only. I'd wanted a Caramel Coffee Jelly Frapp but it wasn't on offer so I didn't take it. The mudcake looked delicious. In fact, the Starbucks desserts look really good. I did Maths until Jevon came at 5p.m.. (By that time the mudpie was sold out so I got a Double Chocolate Brownie.)

8. I'm a little afraid of Jevon. In fact, I'm afraid of all guys. Because I'm not for them, because I'm only for one guy. I'm paranoid. I try to keep a distance. Plus I don't want to talk about my relationship which is something major in my life now. I told him that DW left 'cos I was a witch. Which is true actually. But I really had a good time with Jevon today. I was my usual crazy enthusiastic bouncy self (maybe DW's too intelligent for that, I don't know). He shared his music with me, we laughed, we chatted and we helped each other with Maths. We only had just a little over 1h to do everything 'cos he wanted to go for Sunset Gospel Hour.

9. Before we left, I went to get the rose for DW. The florists were really pleasant. I told the man I was getting a rose for my bf and to choose the biggest and best red rose. He picked one, then the Malay woman (there was another Chinese woman) came over and both of them looked at my tin and tried to make it the best gift it could be. The woman plucked a few petals from the rose, which made the rose look very small. But she dropped the petals into the tin. The man told me to put water in the tin but I said no, I wanted it dry. The woman plucked more petals out of more roses and dropped them in the tin. The man had cut the rose earlier according to the height of the tin, I think, but the woman said she'd get me a straighter rose so she got another one and cut it. The man got the scotch tape and the woman added a few extra accompanying flowers free-of-charge. I was so grateful for their effort. I was happy.

10. Jevon and I walked all the way back to the bus interchange. Along the way, the cars were rushing past, but I did make a move to cross the road anyway, much to Jevon's shock. Can remember when DW used to pull me back. Anyway we got to the bus interchange, and walked along the trail under a lovely golden sunset...It was beautiful. I wish he was here today. Along the way we talked... then Jevon boarded the bus.

[Hey I don't want to make it seem like I'm obsessing over DW and ignoring my friends in the meantime. I do think a lot (you should see DW's timetable go parallel in my head during school time e.g. ok, now's Maths lec, DW's having F. Maths now, or now's Econs, DW's having GP; actually it's amazing how much I can remember when I think of it) but I do appreciate my friends, and well, as usual, most of what I think never gets communicated when it's thought anyway.]

11. I waited for my bus for a while, then thought of the gifts in the bag, and I decided to go to Popular instead to get fabric paint. I got 5 tubes of fabric paint. Then I came home really happy and showed my mom what I had bought, including the rose in the tin.

12. Dad started railing at bro again during dinner. I wanted to show him the f(x) = Joy that came to me at inspiration but I didn't. Bro was about to cry. His eyes were red. Then the phone rang, I answered, and it was for my dad. Soon, another shouting session began; apparently my dad was riled up due to some church problems. It was amazing how my dad still smiled at me even in his anger. My brother went upstairs.

13. We went upstairs after my mom had finished clearing the dishes and I'd finished my food (yes, I finished my food after she cleared), dad still on the cordless phone. Bro was in his room crying, said he wanted to commit suicide, mom talking to him. Still wanted to show dad the f(x) thing but he was on the phone so I went to my room. Dad came out after his call, yelled at bro then went back in. I went into my parents' room to show them the f(x) thing. My original f(x) was = sinx + c but dad discussed it with me and changed it to f(x) = xsint + c. My parents asked me to talk to my bro.

14. Bro's personality is the opposite of mine. In fact, Bro's very like De Wen. Yep. The two guys I love most in the world. Bro often thinks people are against him and fears being taken advantage of. He loves me and doesn't want me to be taken advantage of by others. I'm an easygoing person.

15. Why does De Wen only respond to the latter part of my smses? It's like I have 3 suggestions. He doesn't answer the first two and he says no to the third. Sometimes he asks me for permission to carry out an alternative suggestion instead of the third, but I know it's not asking for permission. It's just politeness. But I'm on the losing end because I have no choice. The guy doesn't want me, what can I do?

16. I was very hesitant about talking to my bro. I thought he'd chase me away. But I went to his room anyway, hesitantly patted his head, sat down next to him and asked him what was wrong. Surprisingly, he didn't chase me away, and he cried and told me what was wrong. I didn't know what to say, but I tried to help and eventually we worked out a study timetable for the both of us so we'd help each other to work hard for the exams. I decorated the timetable with purple and pink marker and drew smiley faces and added a duck (of all animals) and nonsense fillers. Then I brought the gifts to my bro's room and showed him the lovely tins and all. Spent a lot of money today alone but it was worth it, and I have savings anyway 'cos...well...I haven't been going out with someone for three weeks.

17. Then I decorated the cd holder using fabric paint. Bro was really helpful - we worked on the colours together, and he gave me suggestions on the drawings. Now my duck looks better. The cd holder's really decorated nicely, especially the 'dewEn' right at the top. That's in green, the duck's in yellow, the eye, beak and legs/feet in orange, the 'estheR' below in pink and a small kitten below the duck in purple. Bro said purple was awful but a drop of yellow from the duck spilt and I was so perfectionistic I had to draw something to cover up the spot. Bro doesn't like the purple and he didn't know why the duck was DW and the kitten me but I told him DW would know when he saw it. That's the cover, and on the margin another 'dewEn' is written really big and decorated, 'd' in green, 'e' in yellow, 'w' in purple, 'E' (yep, capital 'E') in orange and 'n' in pink. In fact when I wrote the 'estheR' my bro gave a suggestion about the way it was written too but I didn't follow it 'cos that 'estheR' has to be written in that particular way. I love this cd holder design so much I showed it to my parents. Tomorrow I'm going to show it to my friends.

18. I don't know what to say about my relationship. I don't know what to feel. Finally the relationship expert/marriage counsellor/heartbreaker/bitch has fallen and been broken down. One part thought it was my fault, but another questioned what I would do instead. I blew this whole thing up, I know, but this is my blog, and I'm a writer. I think it's because I didn't strive to please God always so I made many mistakes, and I forgot my place. I forgot that I believe that woman is always subservient to man (it doesn't mean they can't be leaders in the workforce, I'm talking about private relationships). I firmly believe that a woman always serves the man, which I've been striving more and more along the way, but which I haven't been always successful at doing. When you have someone you trust so much like DW, I think you tend to just let yourself go and forget your place. And then you can't blame the guy for getting angry. Romance level is low 'cos passion is inappropriate. Numbness is suitable. I'm confused. In my letter to DW, I'm not going to call him back. I've called him back twice already since he requested a breakup (twice) and 5 times (because I stupidly asked for a breakup 3 times before that). With God's grace I will comfort and encourage him with godly words, as a friend, or rather, whatever he takes me for. And if he says he can't have me anymore on Tuesday, I am ready to let go...

I guess I just have to accept that sometimes you love not in return. And it hurts, but you remember that God still loves, and other people still care, then you don't cry, and you walk bravely on.

19. It's past 1 now. I don't know where my things are and haven't done my homework. I will wake up later today to finish the presents and some work (hopefully) and pack my bag. I want to sleep.

20. I remember having a great time with my brother today, and we even listened to music together, and he downloaded American Idol songs for me 'cos I wanted them. We watched the music video of 'Let the music heal your soul' which is really great except that boybands seem to have the same irritatingly familiar moves (spreading their arms out, beating their hearts with their fists)...

PS: I'm glad Prisca came home safely.

Good night world. May God's peace be with you.

Autumn leaves blew along life's breeze 07:55 p.m.

Saturday, August 9, 2003

Please stop yelling...stop banging and throwing things around...it cuts through my closed bedroom door.

And De Wen, where on earth are you?

Autumn leaves blew along life's breeze 09:24 p.m.

Saturday, August 9, 2003

Can you believe it? I'm bored.

Not that I have nothing to do. But I've been clicking around on blogs until I just didn't feel like reading. Just read the blogs of my closer friends which I haven't read for a long time.

Kinda sian. Still thinking of him.

The family went to Swensen's yesterday. Think Swensen's is capitalising on fusion food. Got a grilled fish in spicy sauce yesterday, plus butter rice (which tasted like the one in school) and mixed vegetables. The meal also came with quite a lovely cream of mushroom soup and a lovely puff with ice cream inside drenched with blueberry sauce. I was tired and didn't feel like eating but dinner was quite good especially the spicy sauce. Then talked to family. Been talking to family quite a lot, telling them about my friends. Now they want me to NAME my friends because I keep saying 'my friends' and I have a million of friends. So I've been dishing out names like 'Sijia', 'Erica', 'Wanfang', 'Aishu', 'Jevon', 'Wenjie', 'Sanny' and many others and freaking myself out 'cos apparently I talk about loads and loads of people (though I -do- keep secrets).

My dad is apparently quite obsessed/interested with De Wen. My dad actually cares about De Wen, more than any of my other friends (though he does care a bit about Xin Yi). Dad actually gives me advice about De Wen's studies and what he should do next time, and asks questions about him like if he studies and other things. Can't really remember but I think my parents know quite a bit about him. I still remember last year when I wanted to change church ('cos I wanted to escape my church and start in a new environment, and left Youth Choir in the process) my mom actually asked me what church DW goes to. Think she thought I wanted to transfer to that church which I didn't. And yesterday when I was talking about 'my friend' again, my dad said, 'Which friend? De Wen is it?' which was actually untrue and I told him so.

Still don't want to lose him. SIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGHHHH...

Oh and I was supposed to go out with Jevon today so I smsed De Wen and told him 'cos I thought it was polite since I was going on a one-to-one outing with another guy, even if he's just a friend. We're not even close, in fact he just called me last week after quite a long time (excluding one time we happened to see each other in church in another long time when I was MIA and we just exchanged a few sentences of words) and this time we're going out just to catch up on things. Wanted to kick myself for going out with a guy one-to-one in a first place especially when my relationship is in a dire state -cries- this should be the last thing I should do according to my personal standards but well I decided that I should send an sms anyway particularly since I'm not doing anything wrong. Can't imagine the consequences of people seeing Jevon and I together and talking. Was a little afraid that DW would think funny but he said it was ok and not to worry which I kinda appreciated. Don't know. Maybe 'cos now every nice thing DW says (or is perceived to say) is v important to me.

Well yesterday Jevon called me to invite me for Youth Seminar and to arrange that outing today, and during that he asked me if I was attached. Said I look like I'm attached 'cos I'm more mature and understanding - I'm not sure about that but I do know that people change when they're attached. Said also that he heard from a few people at church that I'm attached, like Joy Wong for instance, which is v v v weird 'cos uh...I think I've spoken only about 1 sentence to Joy in my lifetime and that was a question to ask whether I was using my diaphragm correctly during a Youth Choir session plus Joy doesn't look like the kind of person to gossip (she's quite a spiritual Christian) and even if she wanted to talk about people I'm the last person she would talk about 'cos hardly anyone knows me.

Yep...according to the Scholars' Choice workshop last Saturday I'm the kind of person who has permanent subtitling i.e. I may be very quiet but a lot of things may go through my head, maybe that's why I've been blogging so much now. Think I'm kinda muttering nonsense here now. Guess it's 'cos the main issue about the relationship isn't resolved yet (in a way I want it to be resolved but yet I don't want it to end -fluctuates-). V v confused. Think I'll go do Maths or sth. Think that sometimes when I'm tired/upset Maths is a very good outlet. Can be quite crazy sometimes and work on a problem for one whole day and write and redo pages and pages of inconclusive working only to discover that DW solves it in 5 steps. But anyway yep guess I'll go do Maths now. I actually like solving problems. Guess it'll be the wine to curb my sadness at the moment.

I think I'm getting a little irrational here. And everything I say on this blog stabs me now 'cos I'm afraid DW will take it the wrong way I dunno I dunno I dunno anymore...

ARGHARGHARGHARGH I'm stronger than that.

Didn't manipulate fluids and hurt genitals for 10 days, then this morning I did it again. Dunno last night I looked at myself and saw myself with my hair down so haggardly I looked like I was in just the suitable state for more pain. So I just lay down there and did the mental injuring until there were sharp (hot?) pains in my genitals (I wonder why) so to curb those sharp pains I hurt myself physically. I hate it when my period doesn't come; it didn't come this month AT ALL and it only didn't come one other time in my lifetime when I was stressed out by my 3 week trip to New Zealand. Don't like it not coming 'cos it kinda doesn't validate my feminity and well it means that I'm relegated to one more month of permanent PMS until the next one arrives. :(

Autumn leaves blew along life's breeze 11:16 a.m.

Friday, August 8, 2003

Was looking through courses today trying to decide if Geography is the best course for me. After looking through the University of Edinburgh's course descriptions and talking things out with my dad, I'll most probably major in Geography and minor in Lit. I was considering minoring Maths and Statistics too, given that Maths is a challenging course (as described by the University of Edinburgh) and cultivates clarity and accuracy if I remember correctly. Maths and Statistics are also very valuable in research, frankly I'm quite amazed by what can be solved using calculus and statistics. I have a paranoia that it's De Wen's influence, and in this I wonder if it's mainly my obsession with him that drives my interest or if in his sharing he made me see certain things. I can do Maths if I'd studied harder at A level; I'm not Maths-dumb. University Geography does comprise statistics as applied to Geography though. Maybe I'll also do a subject of Mathematics for pure interest at University level while concentrating on my Geography course.

Rethought relationship again thinking about the future. I must not be jealous of him. I know he will definitely succeed. Given his outstanding interest and success in Maths, he should be able to get a PhD and achieve his goal of becoming a Maths professor, plus one whom people will respect. De Wen has amazing intelligence not only to understand and interpret but also to create and innovate. Besides that he views things differently. To add to that he has a flair for teaching and explanation and a strong desire to share Maths. The guy looks like he has a paved path ahead of him, God willing, because he knows what he wants and has what it takes both academically and in character. I've struggled to curb my envy (I envy easily) and rejoice and hope for his successes...I've always wanted the best for him, and to deal with these conflicting emotions throughout this relationship I've been praying and asking God to bless him and help me to support him.

I guess tonight I doubted a bit because I was thinking of my own interests again. Besides the bit about jealousy, I was asking why I should maintain a relationship with a guy who's given up, who says he can't cope with my depression (I've been out of obsessive depression for quite a while already though) and whom I'm changing for? But I think all these questions are quite irrelevant because I -am- changing for the better and this is becoming the real me. He's dealing with a different person now. Plus my change doesn't matter because it's not specifically for him (unlike not putting hair gel because your girlfriend doesn't like it); in a way it's for him because I've realised how to adapt to my specific relationship and make it work through changing various more annoying aspects of myself, yet it isn't trivial to the extent that even if we break up I'll lapse back into my old, more horrid, self.

I still believe that it's possible. Still think it's good to keep this relationship. I can handle it. It's a question of whether he can. But why can't he? He's a very strong guy, and one whose beliefs are rooted in God. We've tried just having a good friendship before but eventually we lapsed back into a relationship. I think if he thinks I can be a good friend (which he does) he should treat me more civilly instead of avoiding me and treating me like an enemy. Doesn't a good friend deserve some time too, and it's not like I'm asking for an outing; we do have common breaks on the timetable and surely he can spare a meal or two?

I forget to mention on my blog that the concept that he is mugging now without sharing anything with me makes everything more stressful for me 'cos here's a very smart and quick guy who can study and knows how to study (good methods etc.) and he's studying so hard and I'm not. I just have the idea that he's studying very hard but I don't know what exactly he's studied and what he has not plus he doesn't describe even when I ask him (which I don't fault him for; I only fault him when he gives sweeping excuses and shrugs what I say off i.e. doesn't hear my questions/pretends he didn't hear my questions) so he seems to be more accomplished than I.

I'm surviving by the grace of God. I realise that by God's grace I am actually by nature quite a strong and stable person in quite a few ways. I'm quite conservative (i.e. sticking rigidly by my principles) so I don't feel comfortable say showering him with kisses, hugs, love notes and love songs (yes one or two, but not a lot and not so easily i.e. our relationship has come far enough that I do certain things I wouldn't have done at the beginning in terms of expressions of love but it is way not deep enough for me to do a lot more - my barriers are quite high in terms of expressions of love i.e. verbal or touch). Also, while I feel a lot I haven't felt utterly helpless. In addition to that I've kinda rationalized certain things. I know that if this relationship falls it isn't the end of the world nor of my future happiness; I will go on to University and do what I like and praise God, and I will have a successful life ceteris paribus. I do have plans. My life does not hang upon this relationship, which is what also propels me to say that I can handle this relationship (despite his -and sometimes my- concerns about the future). I don't need certain things to survive, I've realised that there are certain things that don't really matter as much and that I made quite a few mistakes in the past 15 months which could have been fatal. However I think it is a VERY VERY big pity to break up...an immense WASTE.

I am still hoping he won't break up and that we can maintain a less emotionally-charged but a more logical relationship between confidantes.

If my best friend and I have no doubts about remaining best friends no matter what, I don't see why our relationship should have any problems if we have the right focus. Especially because this relationship was NEVER a fling. We all viewed long term. A Christian relationship is a foundation for marriage. It IS possible.

I have a fear some people are going to label me immature, unrealistic and idealistic. I really wish people understood.

Autumn leaves blew along life's breeze 10:12 p.m.

Friday, August 8, 2003

Friday Five

Aug 01, 2003

1. What time do you wake up on weekday mornings?
6a.m., then I lie in bed until about 6.20a.m..

2. Do you sleep in on the weekends? How late?
I don't sleep in on Sundays 'cos church service starts at 8a.m.. I'm not sure about Saturdays.

3. Aside from waking up, what is the first thing you do in the morning?
Wash up, then pack my bag and go to school.

4. How long does it take to get ready for your day?
I leave the house latest 6.40-6.45a.m.. It takes about 15 to 20min to get ready.

5. When possible, what is your favorite place to go for breakfast?
I don't feel like eating breakfast. Wait a minute, I don't feel like eating.

July 25, 2003

1. If your life were a movie, what would the title be?
Autumn Song - beautiful and sad, and mixed with green, yellow and red floating in the breeze.

2. What songs would be on the soundtrack?
Have You Ever Been In Love (Celine Dion), Contradanza (Vanessa Mae), I Drive Myself Crazy (Thinking Of You) [N'Sync], I'm Alive (Celine Dion), Only Hope (Mandy Moore), Stronger (Britney Spears), Autumn Goodbye (Britney Spears), I Want You (Savage Garden), To The Moon And Back (Savage Garden), Crash And Burn (Savage Garden), A New Day has Come (Celine Dion), Right In Front Of You (Celine Dion).

3. Would it be a live-action film or animated? Why?
Live-action. It's more real and emotional.

4. Casting: who would play you, members of your family, friends, etc?
-laughs- No one else could ever play me and De Wen. I honestly don't know about the rest of the casting.

5. Describe the movie preview/trailer.
A kiss in an autumn setting, just the two of us. I don't want anything else.

=====

Guess I'm not at my best right now. I cried a lot yesterday. Then yesterday night and this morning, I suddenly stopped feeling. Am I in real depression?

It's just a numbness to everything. The world's just passing me by. The truth is that many people who commit suicide actually hint of it, and it's just a myth that those who keep saying they want to commit suicide won't. I read this somewhere. I have a huge collection of pills but I won't take them.

Today was the National Day celebrations at school and I was so hyper. I was smiling ever so widely, laughing, jumping up and down, clapping, singing at the top of my voice, dancing and cheering. I think everyone really had a good time. I think also that to everyone, the friends, the students and the teachers, I was about the wildest, craziest, happiest person ever. The typical and most superficial description of a councillor -> enthusiasm.

I think no one saw that the smiles were all fake. I was amazed at myself at being able to pull everything off. It's a unique talent I know. I missed him today, and I smsed him 'cos I wanted to watch the National Day performance with him or talk or go out for a meal. First, he just shrugged off my wishes. Then when I smsed again he said he had to rush home. Rush home to do what? Besides that, he could also have talked to me or at least sit with me during the concert. His avoidance of me is obvious, and it's not just I who think that way. Even discounting all the excuses he's made in the past. This is made even worse 'cos a few days ago he said he wasn't avoiding me on purpose, which looks like a lie.

De Wen's grown a lot more handsome since I've seen him. I think it's the haircut. And the smile. He looks happy although looks could be deceiving. The way he's acting, the way he has been acting, and the presence of a girl (whom I've heard, and whom I've heard about, though I can't identify and don't wish to know) is suggesting something. Although I don't wish to suspect anything, I don't want to be taken advantage of and I feel that I have the right to feel this way because I do feel conscious about the image I project and don't want to mislead others so it's not like I'm being hypocritical; I do disclaim my actions whenever I can, especially to my boyfriend i.e. him.

I can't imagine myself with another guy. I really can't. It's not that I'm stubborn, but we really did click. We really really did and despite all the problems I know with utmost sincerity that this relationship can work (and it will work as long as you want it to work because I want it to work).

I took off my entries because I said a lot of mean things about him which I felt may have been a little harsh on my part but I decided to put everything back up because this is my blog and I shouldn't be hiding my feelings. I think I have the right to be angry and sad. I don't know why his conscience doesn't seem to prick him. He really isn't treating me well. (And frankly instead of saying that it's his fault and he's a jerk and he's sorry he really should do something about it. What is preventing him from doing it?) I remember a lot about this relationship and all the good times and bad. It's been a mess, but it wasn't a failure. I think we both learnt a lot, I know I have, and I want to try again because I know I will do better this time. I don't want either of us to remain in our problems because I think at least for me I've grown out of a lot of them.

I think he's still stuck in the problems, either that, or he's content to push aside the problems. I think he can't see beyond the problems. I really wish he could see that I've changed (for the better) and that this relationship really can work.

The problem is we just don't talk and I don't like forcing him to talk. I really hope that he's not viewing me as a problem and shrugging me off for another girl (whether existent or a future ideal) because he believes that her personality is closest to his. A relationship, frankly, is not about personalities. It's about love. It's about work. We can build this relationship up. I know we can. Why can't he see that it's not the differences, it's not the stresses, it's not the problems...but it's about both of us and since he still loves me and I still love him and God is there, it can work? It really can. Why is it so hard to get across this idea that this relationship can work? Is it because the problems are so drowning? That's why I want to start again. That's why I want to do better. Because I KNOW I can do better. I want to try again because it's possible and we shouldn't give up. It is really really really very very very possible. I know I can't do anything to prove it, but I know it very deeply. I really want him to give us another chance, to take the risk and to trust. Yes the Prelims are here and the A levels too. And all that after. We can still do it. I know we can. We can do all that. He just has to trust and not give up.

I really really really still love him. I wonder why he doesn't want me to love him. I know my thoughts are coming out a little disjointed now, I guess it's 'cos I can't think although I'm trying hard to. I wanted to write him a letter last night because I didn't want him to go away thinking that he didn't mean anything to me when in fact he influenced my life majorly. But I wrote the introduction 5 times, on postcard, on foolscap paper, and threw everything away. I'm a little stuck at the moment because I don't know how he will react to anything, if the memory of a good thing will trigger something bad which I don't know about, or if a simple thing like giving him a gift will make him feel guilty that he isn't doing anything for me. Which he shouldn't even think about. All I want to say to him seems to come out empty, maybe it's because now everything's shifted to him and whatever I say seems to be insignificant or irritating (to me). Everything is in his control. I don't know...I've gradually vanished and my importance in this relationship is dying off. This relationship has become about him. He thinks about himself and I think about him.

I know this relationship seemed to be a clash of efforts. We always seemed to be focused on our efforts to make this relationship work instead of on each other. Things seem to be a muddle now, plus the fact that you don't communicate a lot of what you feel, including whatever you said last last night which you didn't tell me earlier. Don't you see my dear that it's no use running away from the problems and that the only way to combat them is to pray and talk things out? I can't help if I don't know, and keeping us apart (especially for so long) will only destroy us because we forget what it was like to enjoy each other and I'm left angry at an invisible person? I'm not sure you will understand this, I'm not even sure anyone will, and it's not your fault because my words are just not coming out. I just know what whatever I'm thinking is not because I'm weird and unreasonable but because I'm a normal girl. I know other people have been feeling like I've been feeling either about my relationship or about their guys.

Don't you see, my dear, how much I love you?

It's not even about the hurt or the anger. It's about YOU. I wish you could see it. What can I do to make you see it? God...help me, help us.

We've gone very far apart until I can't even remember when it was exactly that I really went out with you. Yes, I remember, it was a Tuesday, the last day of the block tests. We watched Charlie's Angels. We still have so many things to do. You still haven't watched Nemo with me. What about the anniversary dinner months ago? You promised to bring me out. But then again it's not about all these little things. It's not about the gifts which are still lying in my house 'cos I haven't given them to you, and it's not about all these celebrations and all that. I don't even TALK to you nowadays. Why are you still running? Come back. It will never be too late for you to come back because I'll always be here waiting until you say you don't love me and want me anymore to my face. Stop hinting at a break up and stop pushing me away. Just say whatever you want to say.

Do you honestly think I want so much? All I want is YOU. Get it? Just you. It's not even for you to be happy although I want you to be happy. It's just for you to come back and share your life with me and tell me all that's bothering you so I can comfort you and love you.

We've gone so far but it's possible. It's difficult but it's possible. And I'm still waiting here hoping you won't leave.

I wish you could see this blog. I don't even know if you come online. I really wish you could just see whatever I've been feeling and thinking. Ultimately what I hope you'll see is how much you mean to me, how much you've influenced my life, and how many dreams and hopes we have together. It doesn't mean giving up your dreams and your hopes. It just means sharing them and pursuing them together.

I'm not a bitch, you know. I'm just someone who loves and cares very very deeply. God, I don't ask for you to take away my tears even though I've been crying because I know that if he comes back to me, all the tears are nothing compared to how much he means to me.

Please God, please please please please bring him back. Please I pray please........................

Autumn leaves blew along life's breeze 12:08 p.m.

Friday, August 8, 2003

Posted during the past two days:

Why isn't anyone online? :(

==============

God, please give me time to write a letter to him.

==============

Dear God,

I thank you so much GOD, for loving me even when I don't love you back, and for sacrificing your Son for me to save me from my sins even though I don't deserve any kindness. Thank you for setting the example of divine love. Thank you for not dealing with me after my sins, for showing mercy upon me and forgiving me. For each harsh word I said, each time I lost my focus on you and each time I acted selfishly, forgive me and cleanse me from my sins, and help me to look towards your heavenly example.

Thank you for sheltering me and giving me strength to face each day, through your presence and through your Word. Thank you for sustaining me even though I may not notice it. Thank you for comforting and encouraging me through the wonderful friends which you have placed in school, in church and in other places. Thank you for being a God who listens and empathises, who sees each tear that falls and knows each time my heart breaks. Thank you for guiding me and for drawing me back to you through weekly church. Thank you for drawing me back to your Word last night, and for helping me to seek you in prayer. Thank you for the people who pray for me, who care for me, who speak to me words of kindness. Thank you for my mother who didn't question why I missed dinner and violin because I was 'busy', for my violin teacher, who was understanding, and for giving me an uninterrupted time of good discussion and sharing.

Thank you for blessing my life and for working a good work through me through no effort of my own. May you be praised and glorified in all things and in everything I do.

Although I was not intending to have a discussion, thank you for turning my emotion-filled sms into a calm discourse, and for giving me real peace and hope and the clarity of thought during the discussion. Thank you for helping De Wen and I to share and for giving me the genuine desire to listen and help. Thank you for taking away my anger and hurt, and for helping me to voice my questions. Thank you for helping him to try again, even in the midst of faltering hope.

God, you know the problems that plague us and the emotions that we feel. You know how important this relationship is to me and the guilt I feel for having neglected you and only turning to you for support as and when I like and for not being a good girlfriend. You know my selfishness and pride. You know my sincere, deep and heartfelt desire for this relationship to continue and be stable. God, you know how much I love him and how he makes me feel and how I don't want to let him go. God, only you know the consequences of a break up and if it is right or wrong. Lord, you know I don't want a break up.

Lord, the next few days will be crucial, because he will try to make this relationship work and let me know his decision soon. You know how helpless I feel because I want so much for both of us to forget the hurt and start again and I don't want to do anything that will break this fragile hope. I believe we can start again. Somehow nothing of the pain or hurt matters anymore - I just want him back. I plead to you now to lift us both up where we can't lift ourselves, help us to focus on you and what you have planned for our lives. Show us your will, and speak to our hearts as we turn to you. I pray that you will give us the solution to our problems, and help us to start afresh. Give us the strength to work things out. I know we can't do this without you, and it was foolish of me to believe I could do it alone.

Lord, may your will be done. At the end of this trial, if it is your will to maintain this relationship, strengthen it and help it to grow in your will. Help me to remember your blessing and to treasure this miracle even more, to love with greater fervour and to be a better, Christian, girlfriend. If it is your will that we go our separate ways, help me to accept him as a friend, that we may also serve and glorify you, and support each other as brother and sister in Christ. If it is your will that we wait on your will until you give us further directions, help us to patiently wait upon you, and may this time out be mutually beneficial and not hurting. Help us not to escape our problems but to deal with them with your strength. Comfort our hearts and encourage us as we look to you for help. It isn't easy but all things are possible with God. I ask for patience and strength as I submit to your will and wait on you.

Lord only you know the paths our lives will take. You know what is best for us and have promised that "all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose". You give and you take away, blessed be your name. All praise be to you and you alone, both now and forevermore.

In Jesus' name I pray,
Amen.

Autumn leaves blew along life's breeze 12:06 p.m.

Wednesday, August 6, 2003

Please God, no...

He wants a breakup.

And I'm pleading with God but I can't find the words... the tears are coming...

Autumn leaves blew along life's breeze 07:32 p.m.

Monday, August 4, 2003

Saturday

Scholars' Choice workshop and exhibition. The workshop lacked variety; it was just a small arc of booths by the Singapore Exchange, the Singapore Press Holdings, the British Council, a US representative, the Singapore Police Force and at most a couple of other representatives I can't remember. Xin Yi introduced me to her friends, from whom I can remember, Adelia, Wanting and Liu Wei (?).

We didn't go for the US/UK workshop because we weren't interested, but we went for the profiling one (Know Yourself). It was interesting, because it outlined the four types of people and their predominant characteristics (strengths and weaknesses/irritating points). I scored the highest in Conscientious (logical, analytical, perfectionistic, fearing criticism) and Steady (determined, hardworking, fearing change) and the lowest for Dominant (control) and Inspiring (easily excitable, fearing rejection). People of the same types are socially compatible, but all the four types of people complement each other and are needed in a group for maximum efficiency. De Wen and I are opposites (he's very obviously Dominant and Inspiring), which means we're most socially non-compatible. Judging from the results of a quiz taken a while ago (c.f. previous entry), this fact should not be new to me.

Sunday

Saturday night, my Sunday School teacher messaged me to tell me it was Open Sunday. Just as well, because I didn't want to attend it especially since it wasn't small group class. I teared in church because I was silently pleading with God to comfort me; I needed comfort. Then on the bus I cried twice because I was so thankful, because God did comfort and encourage me through the sermon, and because DW actually asked about Saturday night (I smsed him 'cos my dad threw a fit and started yelling, hitting my brother and throwing things around).

I didn't feel like going for violin, but as usual I went, and I got into a high because I successfully tuned my own strings for the first time (it was exhilirating to see the green light on the tuner blink because my strings were tuned to the right pitch). Then, I played my exam pieces and random scales. I also sight-read other works. One song I played incredibly fast (considering I was seeing the piece for the first time) and for another, I subconsciously used my fourth finger instead of the open string, which got a thumbs up from my teacher. We ended with some duets, and I was laughing because the New World Symphony sounded so much like a funeral until I eventually steadied myself, played the right notes and played faster.

DW hurt me yesterday. First he's been initiating this silence for about one week, then yesterday I broke the silence and told him that we should not be enemies but should support each other. He replied, "No. I need time out to concentrate on my studies." which was very hurting because 1) he couldn't see a very obvious point (you can't possibly obsess over your studies without breaks and you don't have to be enemies with me to pursue your studies); 2) he was being very selfish, by neglecting me and holding on to the name of relationship without putting any effort in maintaining it; 3) he couldn't have loved me or cared about me if he was leaving me in favour of everyone else (himself, his family and his friends) and everything else (his work). There must be something wrong with me, and he was definitely making excuses (as usual) to cover up all his deeds (which I can dredge up because so many of them are unresolved because he is not listening); 4) He is not listening. Whenever I hint of a certain problem, he just says he's sorry or he wants to deal with it another time, and I feel that he's being very incapable and immature. 5) I encouraged you to study and you hated it because you felt I was being too pushy and taking you away from your interests in Maths and basketball and your friends (which I wasn't), and now that you need to study you're pushing me away. You are being very unfair.

It really hurts, when my friends come and tell me about you, even little things like you cut your hair and how you've been joking with them about your hair (and I haven't met you for two weeks so I don't know anything about you). It hurts when I sms you and you don't even bother to give a decent reply, just a one word answer or some vague response like "Fine." It really hurts, when I'm trying to help and you don't want to be helped and not only that you know very well that I'm hurting and yet you don't care, and you shrug me off. That isn't a civil way to treat a person, not less your girlfriend, and I know with a certainty now that it's not my fault that this has happened. It's your fault. It's purely your fault, because you gave up when I didn't, and you're only in this relationship for the convenience it brings you. It really hurts that you don't listen, and you don't want to listen, if not to advice, at least to me; that you'd rather listen to everyone else's problems than to listen to mine. I don't like being lied to. I don't like being cheated. I don't like being taken advantage of. I don't like being played. And if you think accused you wrongly, it's still your fault because you never bothered to listen to me and clarify things up. I realise that I'm just a girl who obeys your orders (you ask me to do this and I do it for you because you're not in school) or who tells you things when you've missed announcements (unappreciated, I might add) and whom you just treat as an object, to push aside. I realise with a sickening feeling that you don't really love me, and you don't really care.

And I realise with an even more sickening feeling that I still love you, that I still care for you, and that I want the best for you, and that this love is unrequited. I really don't want to be hurt, because I know that you could take advantage of me knowing that I love you no matter what.

I've been contemplating suicide, because I'm just so weary. I don't like the way my relationship is going - why me? I know it's a stupid question... I guess I see other people in their blooming relationships and while I don't envy them -because their relationships don't mean anything to me, but mine does- I wonder why I can't make this relationship work...I've tried...so hard...and made so many so many compromises, and I've sacrificed my family, council, schoolwork, friends, health, everything for this (yes I acknowledge this was my mistake), only to come to the shocking realisation that it can't work 'cos it takes two parties to make a relationship work, and you won't do your part. You won't. Argue with me. You won't.

I'm weary of this relationship and weary of life. Yes, I'm jealous of you. I know you can make it in life. I know you can do it without me. I can do it without you too, but I am not so ambitious nor capable. The prospect of scholarships and universities and future jobs daunts me, I just want to escape it all and die. It's such an easy way out, but I see my parents smiling back at me and I can't do it.

My friends have been the most wonderful friends. Today Nat came over to talk to me, Wenjie gave me a really nice gift (chocolates, a decorated bib and a note) and I talked to Aishu too, then after Geography remedial I talked a little with Wan Fang on the way home. I can't believe I still talk about you with pride. I don't talk much about my relationship problems. I'm so sick and tired of thinking about them I really don't want to talk about them. Can you believe it, people actually said I was 'happy' and 'optimistic' today, and I actually smiled until my cheeks ached (I can't believe this one because I've been trained to smile since I was young; there is NO photograph of me without me smiling; how could my cheeks ache?)? It was amazing I could still pay attention and do my work though I was so preoccupied with sad thoughts; I drifted away sometimes but I managed to get an overall picture of everything, though it got so bad I decided to tell Wan Fang...sometimes I start feeling so empty because I put up such an enthusiastic front in front of everyone I hide my sadness away, and it cuts more deeply. I felt better after talking to her. Though you'll most probably not read this, thank you Wan Fang.

I talked to this person yesterday and we had a debate about God, following which he wrote a blog entry which criticised me. I think I shouldn't have talked to him in the first place, because 1) challenging me to such a logical discussion not only spurs my competitiveness, but also makes me defensively erect my barriers, 2) I felt that he didn't understand/appreciate what I was talking about, 3) I strongly disagree with his views, 4) He believes in logic and I in God and emotion; this is leading to suicidal thoughts because I'm upset that this world has no place for emotion, my problems will not be heard because I am forced to move on, and the idea that people who read this blog (because this is an open blog) will not understand or empathise with me.

I'm going to sit with the councillors every morning from now on. I sat with them today because I told myself that I needed to go out and socialise instead of hiding by myself; this would be healthier for me.

I know my problems are overwhelming me to the point that other things must come to a standstill. No one will notice though, because it's not obvious. Pray for me, please. I need God now more than ever and I'm too depressed to seek Him.

Down I go.

Autumn leaves blew along life's breeze 08:26 p.m.

Sunday, August 3, 2003

Just found out DW is Type 7: Enthusiasts. While I don't agree with his results (being a true reflection of him) as much as I agree with my own (close to 100%, if not 100% agreement), some of his results -are- recognisably true and the results about how 4s and 7s relate together is quite an accurate reflection about us and our relationship.

Enneagram Type Four (the Individualist)
with
Enneagram Type Seven (the Enthusiast)

What Each Type Brings to the Relationship
Enneagram Fours and Sevens tend to be intrigued by each other since they are a generally a case of opposites attracting. Fours tend to be quiet, introverted, self-doubting, emotional, and pessimistic, while Sevens tend to be outgoing, extroverted, self-confident, mental, and optimistic. Sevens help Fours overcome shyness and a possible reluctance to try new experiences. Fours help Sevens stay focused on what they really want—and to respect and allow their feelings. Fours and Sevens bring to their relationship the charge and mystery of their differences—that they think so differently, react so differently, and find pleasure in such different ways. They can therefore become intrigued by the other, finding him or her endlessly fascinating, always ready with something new and unexpected.

Both Fours and Sevens bring a capacity for joy and ecstasy, spontaneity, emotion, and for passion. Both Fours and Sevens love lively conversation and they can pass hours sharing with each other detailed accounts of the events of the day as well as their thoughts and reactions. Both Fours and Sevens love the finer things of life, travel, good food, wine, clothes, and furnishings, and, for better or worse, both can tend to overspend their incomes on what they consider life's necessities—caviar, champagne, and another trip to Europe. They both have a love of the new and a sense of adventure and romance that can keep their relationship fresh and lively for themselves and be a source of joy and inspiration for others. Both types can be funny, irreverent, and entertaining. There is also an earthiness and bawdiness to both, as well as, paradoxically, a sophistication and elitism. Being opposites, Fours and Sevens can balance each other: Fours bringing a sense of depth and interiority, while Sevens contribute a sense of fun and emotional resilience.

Potential Trouble Spots or Issues
Because they are so different in many ways, Fours and Sevens must have several strong points of attraction or else they will likely miss connecting with each other. Unless some strong passion (romantic, mental, or spiritual) keeps them together, they are likely to fly apart if there are any deep disagreements or conflicts early in the relationship. Both types tend to be impulsive and to be easily frustrated with others when they are disappointed or if their life circumstances do not go as they expect. Both have high expectations for the kind of attention and quality of interactions they want from others, and if they are not forthcoming, both tend to not give others too many second chances to prove themselves. While Fours may admire and even secretly envy the Seven's resilience and high energy, they may also find themselves worn down by their fast-paced lives and what feels to Fours like the Seven's relentless plans and activities. Fours can see Sevens as too noisy, superficial, and insensitive-and occasionally coarse and insulting without realizing it.

On the other hand, Sevens may admire and try to imitate the Four's artistic flair, creativity, and appreciation of subtlety and beauty. But Sevens can also see Fours as hypersensitive, ineffectual, impractical, moody, and self-absorbed. In addition, if the relationship worsens, Fours usually become more withholding and hostile, sniping at the other from a safe distance. Sevens become more impatient, abrasive, and can be verbally abusive. Fours may want to talk about everything that has gone wrong with the relationship in great detail with the Seven. By contrast, Sevens typically want to move on to something more promising and upbeat. The result is that underlying problems do not get resolved adequately. Once this relationship curdles, virtually everything each admired and was attracted to in the other becomes irritating and insufferable.

Taken from Thursday, May 8, 2003 blog entry.

Autumn leaves blew along life's breeze 10:35 p.m.

Saturday, August 2, 2003

I was just looking at my previous layout, at the kitten hugging the duck in the garden. It looks so nice. ^_^

I'm not a kisser. I've only kissed 5 or 6 times in my life, and they were all for him. I rarely kiss because it takes tremendous courage and after overcoming my nervousness and making the effort I end up breathless and shaken. So it came as quite a bit of a surprise when on waking up this morning (after a dreamless sleep) I quite suddenly felt like throwing my arms around him and hugging and kissing him. I could feel the warmth of his cheek and neck and body (this is not intended in a sexual way - of course I would be able to feel the warmth if I was imagining kissing him and throwing my arms around his neck and hugging him). Previously I'd been angry at him, but more hurt and betrayed than anything; however this morning all I wanted to do was to take him out and comfort him and love him. I don't know why I just curled up into a ball hugging my blanket for comfort and cried.

At that moment, a lot of thoughts went through my mind. There was the why did you leave? among others which I can't remember and don't want to remember. I let myself cry for a while, then wiped my eyes and went to wash up.

I feel like eating at Long John Silver's. I think I will later. Today promises to be fruitful and enjoyable. =) I'm going out with my best friend! Both of us have tickets to the Scholars' Choice workshop and exhibition at Suntec City, and after attending this we're going out to try the Esplanade Art Digest's iced-blended mocha (which I've exulted as the best iced-blended mocha in Singapore) and apple crumble (which she's exulted as even better than the one at Coffee Bean, and Xin Yi loves the Coffee Bean apple crumble so this really says a lot). Following which, we will enjoy a fantastic high-class dinner together (Xin Yi and I almost never eat fast food together; we go to cafes and restaurants) sprinkled with glorious shopping! ^^ I hope to get my dear ge's birthday present today. Knowing me, if I actually get to shop, I might buy little somethings for other friends too.

So, this is going to be a very good day. =) I think I will read my Slam Dunk (just started Book 4) for a while, then get ready to leave the house for my LJS lunch, before heading down to Suntec City with Celine Dion singing in my ears. =) -muacks all-

P.S. It really feels great to be wanted, to have Serene and Sijia asking me on two separate occasions if I wanted to go together to the Scholars' Choice exhibition, and also to have Gullnaz ask me if I was going for the council JTS (I said I wasn't sure) and to try to make it. Then there were other people who asked me if I was going for the JTS and Wenjie who asked if I was going home first before going. I mean, if people didn't care, if they didn't like me or want my company, they wouldn't have bothered to ask and they wouldn't have bothered to even talk to me and make jokes with me out of their own initiative, especially when I'm not the most fun person to be with. I'm not taking this for granted, in fact, I appreciate it so much that so many people have been joining me at lunch, talking to me (I just have to -sit somewhere- for people to come over and say something or joke, and I don't even do anything to get sms and phone calls).

It's amazing how much people remember; yesterday I was just sitting and reading Slam Dunk and people asked if I was reading the English version 'cos I'd bought the first book in English (from Book 2 onwards I read the Chinese version and now I'm on Book 19). People laugh and talk during lessons, touch me on the arm; I frankly can't even believe I know so many people as friends, and not as mere acquaintances. I'm only alone when I choose to be. I haven't been very deserving, I'm not at all deserving, and I'm very touched. It appears to me now that everyone's trying to be nice. I should be nicer.

On another note, I didn't go for council JTS because of two main reasons. The first is I've been very busy and I really need time on weekends to recuperate (which I rarely get because often I'm occupied everyday with my own activities). The second is I'm not close enough to the councillors to really be myself with them and not view the occasion as a social function, as a job. I don't really have cliques within council because I don't really mix with a group of people; my style of friendship is to be friends with individuals rather than be part of a clique, and these individuals have other friends (so I don't want to impose myself on them).

Somehow I feel more comfortable with my classmates and Sunday School classmates (as a general group) then with the 29th. I hardly know the 30th. It's strange because both 29th and 30th councillors are really nice people. It's been like that with some of my non-council friends too, I just am naturally withdrawn from them, yet I am comfortable with my Sunday School classmates though I hardly know them. What is it about classmates? I think I could be more comfortable with my music classmates too even though we've all graduated and moved our separate ways (don't talk to them anymore). Anyway, I hope they had a great time yesterday, and I do look forward to reading the memoirs. ^^ Hopefully, if God wills, my heart will open up to them and I'll be able to join them in the future as a friend, and not just as a councillor.

Autumn leaves blew along life's breeze 09:33 a.m.

I need to pierce my heart with a pen
Esther, Avenging Angel, geographygirl. 17, HCJC Year 2, Singapore. A Christian who loves God. A girl. Loves the sea (which drowns), the wind (which suffocates) and the natural urban landscape. Cries and bleeds, smiling on the surface. Longs for UK, the faraway land where the sky cries and the wind whips a fierce kiss. Has given up all hope of love and understanding, gone mute with delusion. Contactable via MSN (literature1999@hotmail.com) or ICQ (135922618).

draw out my deepest longings
4As, A1 for Prelims
1st class honours for English and Geography (5 years)
Recovery

paint a picture of tears
Picture from Tonystone.com, edited using PSP 6. Brushes from Studio911Design PSP Brushes. Font used is Porcelain. Please do not take my writing e.g. blog entries, poems, prose and songs. I value it.

this is my blood
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